it's never ending

“Things that were hard to accept 1. Your expectations are just that. Your expectations. People are not obligated to live up to them or abide by them. Even if they are in certain cases obligated to do so, there is no guarantee that they will. So don’t base your plans on that. And don’t base your life on that. 2. You can walk away. But so can they. You can be hurt and you can be mad. But they will still walk away. They have that option. They can exercise that choice. People can get toxic for you. Believe it or not, so can you. 3. People have bullied you. And teased you. And judged you. But the person judging you constantly and the most harshly is you yourself. 4. They don’t respect you because you don’t respect yourself. 5. Not letting go is only keeping you sad and frustrated and stuck. They are unaffected. They are living their life wonderfully. They are free. 6. Taking care of yourself takes effort. It’s not just good feel quotes and pretty aesthetics. It’s work. A lot of work. It’s doing things that take time and sometimes it’s doing things you don’t want to do. 7. It’s gone. The past. You can regret as much as you like. But you’re only wasting more time. 8. Sometimes you are going to use the word love even though you don’t 100% want to. It’s because like is too little and there is no word in between. It’s because we use the same word for fries and for people. It’s because love means so many different things to every individual. It’s because you do love them. In one of those several meanings. 9. Sometimes you have to suck it up. It’s okay. Not every situation is meant for you to show your ‘true courage’ or real feelings.”

“And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself.”