Mysteryverse

(And Razputin looks around and finds a dossier on the company)

Razputin Aquato: Alright everyone, I found the dossier so listen up. Horzine Biotech is a British technology corporation founded between the late 1990s and the early 2000s. Its founder and head was Kevin Clamely. The corporation stood at the forefront of British science and medicine, specializing in pharmaceuticals and prosthetics. Its work included the creation of revolutionary drugs, bioengineered tissues, and high-tech prosthetics for the disabled, as well as the development of automated systems, drones, medical assistant robots, protective suits for hazardous environments, and advanced filtration systems.

(And after those words, a deathly silence fell, broken only by Coraline.)

Coraline Jones: Let me put it this way, it’s a lie. There’s an underground laboratory gruesome structures and blood scattered everywhere. I think it’s all a charade; I don’t believe it.

Dipper Pines: There’s one thing I don’t understand, it was founded in Britain, but it’s here in Oregon, in America doesn’t that seem strange to you?

Razputin Aquato: Maybe Horzine Biotech and I crossed paths at some point...

(While they were talking, Sari Sumdac spotted the containment vessel; she stepped closer to examine it, wiping away the dust to reveal a silhouette and then the strange, unidentified embryo itself. Suddenly, the creature opened its eyes, shocking and terrifying Sari she screamed in surprise, and the others rushed over to calm her down.)

Dipper Pines: Sari! Quiet, quiet! Calm down what did you see?

Coraline Jones: What a piece of scum!?

(And Sari points a finger at the test tube.)

Dipper Pines: Holy crap!

(and they all looked at the creature in shock and horror)

Sari Sumdac: What is this? An alien larva?

Dipper Pines: Yes, looks like a human embryo

Coraline Jones: It doesn't look human.

Lili Zanotto: Well, now it’s definitely a conspiracy. Coraline, you’re right

Pacifica Northwest: Why are we still standing here watching this crap? Let's get out of here.

Coraline Jones: Just shut up already.

Dipper Pines: It’s all of that put together it’s like something out of Resident Evil.

Lili Zanotto: Hold on, guys do you even realize what this means? If Coraline made it clear that there are horrifying experiments like mutants, viruses, and worse just imagine the horrors that await us

(After those words, they all exchanged nervous glances; after all, Lili was right they didn't know what awaited them.)

Coraline Jones: This is damn it the very beginning of this whole nightmare.

(Meanwhile, a real soap opera was unfolding elsewhere: Sheriff Daryl Blubs, Deputy Edwin Durland, Neil, and Wybie were all in a panic.)

Deputy Edwin Durland: AAA!!! WHERE ARE WE!? I'M SCARED!!!

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: Me too!

Neil Downe: We're all going to die!

Susie: Oh, shut up everyone knows nobody died! So, Cuphead, you found a way out?

(And they all fell silent, awaiting Cuphead.)

Cuphead: Well, well, well? There it is! I found it! I need a key.

Susie: Damn, can anyone open it without a key?

Wybie Lovat: I can.

(He takes out his lockpicks and tries to open the door, it takes two minutes, and he manages to open it.)

Wybie Lovat: Eat!

(They open the door and see a gruesome scene: belongings scattered everywhere, a torn up bed, traces of a struggle, and a bloodstain.)

Neil Downe: Guys, this is too much!

Susie: Holy crap!

Cuphead: Are you kidding me?!

Susie: Hey, you idiots does "national security" mean anything to you?

Wade Whipple: This is the first I’m hearing of it was it being kept from me?

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: It's none of your business. This is a restricted area, and only officials have access to it.

Deputy Edwin Durland: Really? I thought this was the first time we were seeing this place.

(Naturally, it was a lie told by Sheriff Daryl Blubs to keep the kids from finding out but they found out anyway.)

Susie: Anyway, we're checking out this place.

(and they are examining the scene)

Wybie Lovat: There's a lot of blood here. God, what happened there?

Cuphead: I think it's a zombie apocalypse

Neil Downe: What makes you so sure?

(And Cuphead climbs into bed.)

Cuphead: And you can see for yourself there’s blood everywhere, hospital beds scattered all over the place; it’s a nightmare down there

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: Oh, come on, guys that’s just a fairy tale

Wybie Lovat: And this is coming from the guy who ran away from a giant golem

Neil Downe: Hey guys, just imagine this is only the beginning do you have any idea what horrors await us?

Wade Whipple: Okay, don't panic let's take a look first here's the wardrobe.

(And they are all looking at the wardrobe, some of them are staring intently.)

Wybie Lovat: Maybe we shouldn't.

Susie: Must must.

Wade Whipple: I am coming.

(And he opens the closet door first, and there’s nothing there)

Susie: It's empty let's move on.

(And he opens another one, when suddenly a bunch of worms spill out.)

Wade Whipple: Damn it!

Deputy Edwin Durland: AAA!!!

Susie: Wow, look at those insects!

Cuphead: Look, worms!

(and they are all looking at a pile of worms)

Deputy Edwin Durland: They're worms! Aaa!

Susie: There, now it feels organic don't you get it?

Neil Downe: We are doomed.

(Meanwhile, elsewhere, Mabel, Steven, Connie, Kaio, Dendy, and Todd are trying to get out and are shouting for help.)

Mabel Pines: Open the doors!

Steven Universe: Open

Kaio Kinkaid: Let us in.

Mabel Pines: Oh. I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers behind me. It’s all my fault. Pacifica was tracking me down the whole time. I’m just a stupid loser like that embarrassing president, what’s his name.

(And she picks up a piece of peanut, and suddenly the statue itself begins to crack and crumble, while the children scream in shock.)

Quentin Trembley: It's me, Quentin Trembley

(And they all separate and fall downwards in four directions.)

???: The first child vanished into the darkness, the second child fell too who is next? WHO IS NEXT?

Adeleine Duncan: Kris!

(Then Kris wakes up and sees Adeleine, Norman, and Mugman, who have taken out flashlights and are examining the area.)

Adeleine Duncan: Are you okay?

Kris Dreemurr: I suppose so. But what is this place?

Adeleine Duncan: I'm glad you're okay, I don't know what this place is myself.

Norman Babcock: It’s some kind of premises belonging to some company.

Mugman: Something like that.

(And he shines his flashlight on the inscription on the wall: HORZINE BIOTECH.)

Mugman: Horzine biotech. What kind of company is this?

Norman Babcock: Biotech They're probably into bioengineering or something like that.

Kris Dreemurr: Like, a geneticist or something?

Adeleine Duncan: But why underground, and right here of all places?

Kris Dreemurr: We’ll have to find that out just keep moving forward.

Mugman:In other words, we are moving forward!

Kris Dreemurr: Well, going back down is unlikely to work we’d have to crawl back up, and do it manually, too.

(Norman examines the ceiling.)

Norman Babcock: Besides, there’s a stone golem up there; it’s best to just move on.

Adeleine Duncan: What are we waiting for? Go ahead.

(And on he goes.)

(Meanwhile, elsewhere, Dipper himself wakes up and notices Pacifica lying on top of him; she abruptly gets up, overcome by shock and disgust.)

Pacifica Northwest: God! God save me! What a face...

(But Sari pushes her.)

Sari Sumdac: Get away from him!

Pacifica Northwest: Ffffiii

Sari Sumdac:Can I help you?

(And Dipper takes the hand and stands up.)

Dipper Pines: Thanks, but what kind of place is it?

Coraline Jones: Who the hell knows, if Norman was with us, he would have recognized it.

Razputin Aquato: It’s so calm, the main thing is to find a way out

Pacifica Northwest: Calm!? How can I be calm? I’m here now because of you!

Lili Zanotto: So why were you spying on us, then?

Dipper Pines: Wait a minute, where is Mabel?! Kris, Steven, Todd! Norman! And everyone else!!!

Razputin Aquato: Don't panic, they're probably somewhere else we just need to find them.

Sari Sumdac: Raz is right let's go.

Coraline Jones: Hey Barbie, are you with us or what?

Pacifica Northwest: Ha, with you? Not a chance!

Coraline Jones: Well, suit yourself.

(Pacifica surveys the eerie corridors mold and spiders and runs toward them in a panic.)

Pacifica Northwest: Wait for me!

(and all six of them are walking)

Pacifica Northwest: And what kind of place is this? You can't get a signal here!

Coraline Jones: And you think we know? Yeah, right.

Dipper Pines: Perhaps this is one of history's secrets?

Razputin Aquato: That’s out of the question, Dipper. Take a good look these corridors look similar, but if we're talking about how they actually looked back then, they were different.

Coraline Jones: Oh, I don't like the look of this.

Sari Sumdac: Look, there's a door.

(And they all stop and see a massive door with a keypad.)

Dipper Pines: Damn! It needs a password or a key.

Razputin Aquato: Hmm, that’s a sturdy door it’s unlikely we’ll be able to open it using telekinesis.

Sari Sumdac: I have a better idea.

(She takes out the key, inserts it into the slot blue sparks fly and the door opens.)

Dipper Pines: How did you do that?

Sari Sumdac: Yes, it's simple, this is my OSPARK key that can build and penetrate networks.

Pacifica Northwest: and how much does it cost?

Sari Sumdac: He's worth it, it's none of your business.

Pacifica Northwest: Do you even know who I am? I have rights...

Dipper Pines: Shut your trap!

(While they were arguing, Lili looked around the premises and was shocked.)

Lili Zanotto: Hey everyone, come over here.

Coraline Jones: It looks like the horrors of the mirror were nothing compared to this.

(And they see a gruesome sight: smashed instruments everywhere, a strange viewing device, pipes, and syringes and, most notably, strange mechanical pincers mounted on the ceiling.)

Dipper Pines: What is this?

Pacifica Northwest: What is this? An... an operating room, or something?

Lili Zanotto: It doesn't look like an operating room; more like...

Coraline Jones: A place for gruesome experiments

Razputin Aquato: Well, Dipper, do you still think this is part of the historical secrets?

(Dipper examines the room and the main riser pipe, where there are traces of dried blood.)

Susie: I don't understand. Are you going to detain us?

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: Of course, so there is no resistance.

Adeleine Duncan: There are more of us, and we have the Lion.

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: I can call for help....

(He had barely finished speaking when Kris lightning fast snatched out a knife, threw it, and severed the radio cord.)

Kris Dreemurr: What what did you say?

(The two police officers, in shock and horror, realized they stood no chance.)

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: He won everything!

Coraline Jones: Ha! So, which of us is the stupid one?

Pacifica Northwest: You!

(And all the kids and cops turned around and, in shock, saw Pacifica Northwest.)

Dipper Pines: Pacifica, what are you doing here?

Pacifica Northwest: I have my own connections.

Lili Zanotto: You were just walking behind us, that's all.

Pacifica Northwest: That doesn't matter! What matters is that you humiliated me.

(At these words, Cuphead and Susie laughed.)

Susie: Oh, someone finally got it.

Cuphead: Hehe really!

(And these words make Pacifica even angrier)

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: Oh my God! Things are bad!

Pacifica Northwest: I didn't think you were like that...

Kris Dreemurr: And this is coming from someone who calls us names scum, louse, bastard, and all that.

(This caused shock and horror for Pacifica, as she was stunned that someone had discovered her true nature.)

Pacifica Northwest: W...w...what did you say!?

Connie Maheswaran: So, Pacifica, leave while you still can...

Pacifica Northwest: As soon as you hand over what I need!

Coraline Jones: Over my dead body, you cheap trash!

Steven Universe: Hey, no fighting...

(and then Wade Whipple himself comes on stage (not literally), causing confusion among the others)

Wade Whipple: Calm down children, the Hero Defender is already here

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: He was the last thing I needed.

Coraline Jones: Who is this?

Sari Sumdac: Wade Whipple

Wade Whipple: So I'm heading down...

Dipper Pines: Carefully!

(Wade Whipple trips over a stone and falls flat on the floor; the security system activates, dragging everything back down except for the statue while a stone totem emerges and spikes shoot up around them.)

Kris Dreemurr: Damn it!

(and two police officers start to panic)

Edwin "Deputy" Durland: AAA!!! We're all going to die!

Razputin Aquato: Take your positions. Kris, Lili, Kaio, Ado follow me quickly; let's destroy this monster.

Lili Zanotto: Ha! With pleasure.

Kris Dreemurr: Guys, we have a problem.

(And he points to Pacific, who is running around in circles in a panic.)

Pacifica Northwest: AAA!!! Save me, you morons!

Steven Universe: Pacifica cautiously!

Mabel Pines: Carefully!

(Kris attacks the totem with fire magic specifically fireballs but it unleashes a jet of water that extinguishes the flames and knocks both Razputin and Kris to the ground; Razputin then sees hands emerging from the puddles, which fills him with horror.)

Razputin Aquato: No!!! Anything but water!!!

(And in a panic, he nearly ended up in the lake)

Razputin Aquato: Oops, wrong place! Wrong place!

Steven Universe: Pacifica, stick with us!

Pacifica Northwest: You are deranged psychos and stupid, so stupid...

(And suddenly, Kris himself slaps her across the cheek.)

Kris Dreemurr: Barbie, shut your MOUTH!!!

Adeleine Duncan: Nice hit, Stripes! But she’s not the only one panicking.

(In the background, Mugman and Neil are panicking, while Susie and Cuphead are helping Wade Whipple get up.)

Mugman: AAAA!!!

Neil Downe: We are all going to die.

Susie: Hey, you morons, think faster about how to destroy him.

Cuphead: Maybe blow it up?

(Suddenly, Steven and Mabel spot a pink lion looking in a certain direction, and they stare that way too frozen like a statue of a president about to topple over.)

Mabel Pines, Steven Universe, Kaio Kinkaid: Mister President!!!

Lili Zanotto: To stand still

Pacifica Northwest: Don't leave meeeeeee!!!

Mabel Pines: It is a veritable treasure trove of historical secrets

(And she is examining the documents: the first one was Abraham Lincoln—the first photo showed him wearing a hat, the second without a hat, and there was an outgrowth resembling a hand; the second document was about Benjamin Franklin—it bore an inscription stating that he was secretly a woman.)

Mabel Pines: Oh my God! Benjamin Franklin was secretly a woman.

(And Kris is looking through more documents.)

Kris Dreemurr: A massive, unknown object was discovered. A strange phenomenon involving a pillar of light. Hey guys...

Dipper Pines: Guys, look!

(and they all see the main document regarding the Northwests)

Dipper Pines: Are you ready to find out exactly who founded this city?

Coraline Jones: Don't squander time

Dipper Pines: Let it be known that Nathaniel Northwest, the great founder of the town of Gravity Falls, was a swindler and an idiot who shoveled manure.

(and everyone is laughing)

Dipper Pines: Bad news for Pacifica, it's time to hit the papers.

Susie: Hahaha, have you heard about Cuphead? It's a steaming pile of shit.

Cuphead: That's hilarious.

Lili Zanotto: And here’s another piece of fresh news! It turns out William Dewey was a ship's cleaner. He wasn't the mayor.

Adeleine Duncan: You have no idea what a victory this is.

Steven Universe: You guys get the picture. My mom is an adventurer too. If people knew that, no one would call us stupid.

Dipper Pines: The true founder of the city was Lord Quentin Trembley III, Esquire.

Neill Down: Who? Who?

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: It's none of your business!

Edwin "Deputy" Durland: Hooray, we caught them... yeah... woo-hoo!

(and he falls)

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: A couple of darts hit him.

(Pause)

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: I really didn't want to do this, but the Quentin Trembley case involves "national security."

Edwin "Deputy" Durland: Yeah! Ah... Oh. I think I'm colorblind now.

Steven Universe: What do you mean by national security?

Mabel Pines: And who is this Quentin Trembley?

Kaio Kinkaid: Yes!

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: See for yourself

(And he takes off his hat and takes out the cassettes to insert the projector)

Mabel Pines: Oh, wait is it black and white?

Cuphead: Boo. Black and white!

Dipper Pines: Quiet, everyone, quiet.

chief official: If you’re watching this, it means you’re one of only eight people in the United States with access to this information what’s more, I’m going to be shot the moment filming wraps. What? No? Oh!! One of the secrets: the cheesiest person in the world. Quentin Trembley, the eighth-and-a-half President of the USA.

All: President!

Mabel Pines: eight and a half?

chief official: After the decisive victory in the 1937 election

(It shows us that the mayoral election is being swept by a landslide and Quentin has won.)

chief official: Quentin Trembley quickly earned a reputation as America's dumbest president: he declared war on pancakes, appointed six infants to the Supreme Court, and issued a proclamation mandating the removal of trousers. His State of the Union address was even worse.

Quentin Trembley: The only thing we should fear is giant man-eating spiders!

Coraline Jones: Wait, a man-eating spider!?

Wybie Lovat: That’s about the Beldam. Could it be that he...

chief official: He was removed from his position and fled to an unknown valleywhich he named Gravity Falls after plummeting into it at high speed. The disgraceful fraud Trembley was erased from history and officially replaced by William Dewey as President and by the local nonentity Nathaniel Northwest as the founder of Gravity Falls; the whereabouts of President Trembley's body are unknown.

(Filming has wrapped.)

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: There was an unknown person.

(and they are looking at the real frozen president)

Todd: My God! That’s the president!

Razputin Aquato: This is something, Ivental... What is it?

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: The fool wanted to live forever, so he froze himself in peanut sherbet. Very clever, Mr. President. Finding him isn't all that hard thanks to you, the job is done.

Edwin "Deputy" Durland: A girl simply finding a candy wrapper trail.

Mabel Pines: I'm so stupid.

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: Now that you know the truth, we can't let you go around telling everyone about it.

Neil Down: Does this mean... you're going to kill us?

Edwin "Deputy" Durland: Oh no!

Mugman: AAAA we're all gonna die

(Meanwhile, in the cemetery, the children had already gathered around the angel statue.)

Connie Maheswaran: So what's next?

Dipper Pines: According to the instructions, the next clue is somewhere here.

Mabel Pines: Ew! She's picking my nose! haha ouch!

(and suddenly she presses the stone finger and the hatch opens)

Dipper Pines: Mabel, look, there's a hatch!

Mabel Pines: Haha, so who's the stupid Pacifica now! Oh well, alright then.

Neil Downe: Hey, look who's coming!

(And then a pink lion appears, causing Mugman to faint from terror.)

Wybie Lovat: A pink lion again! What does it want!?

Steven Universe: Hey buddy, something's wrong.

Kris Dreemurr: It’s as if he wants to go there as if there’s something he’s feeling.

Steven Universe: That's what you think?

(Kris straightens her arms and shoulders, acting as if she doesn't know.)

Coraline Jones: Well, if he wants to, let him come with us.

(And they all go down, and there’s a tunnel there.)

Mabel Pines: Now I am being very, very serious.

Dipper Pines: Be careful there will be traps there.

Mugman: Why did he say that? Now I'm scared!

Mabel Pines: HiHi! Traps.

(and suddenly Mabel accidentally stepped on a tile and sleeping darts started shooting out of the hole)

Dipper Pines: Sleeping pill darts!

Todd: Lie down!

Neil Downe: Save yourself!

(and they start running and dodging the darts and fall down the slope and land on the underground lake around the stalactite)

Razputin Aquato: Oh God, what was that? And what kind of place is this?

Todd: It looks like... like...

(And he falls it turns out he’s been hit by darts)

Susie: So, Kris, place it on the lion's mane.

(and Kris laid Todd on the lion's mane)

Norman Babcock: Looks like that's where we need to go.

(And they walk on and see a post in the middle. They all move closer; Steven is the first to step forward and activate the mechanism, causing the pillar to open and reveal the seal, and the Lion approaches.)

Steven Universe: This is a symbol of my mom.

Dipper Pines: What!? That can't be!

Neil Downe: That is, it is somehow connected with this

Razputin Aquato: Everything is quiet, it’s glowing.

(And it glows.)

Coraline Jones: If it lights up next to Steven, that means he is the one who needs to press the button.

Adeleine Duncan: Go ahead, give it a try.

(And Steven looks hesitantly at the seal, but suddenly...)

Mabel Pines: No, Steven! We’ll do it together the three of us.

Kaio Kinkaid: Yeah! After all, the two of us want to prove to Pacifica that we aren't stupid.

Steven Universe: You're right! We're moving forward with the utmost seriousness!

Razputin Aquato: Hey, hey! One is enough.

(After that, Deadpool starts gathering DC characters—first Bat-Thing and Charles Xavier (Doctor Strangefate)—and then he changes into a Chara costume from Undertale and acquires the Player's soul; meanwhile, in another reality, Green Fox (that’s me) is typing up the plot for the fifth episode on a computer.)

Green Fox: Oh yeah, that would be a cool plot for the fifth episode..

(And then the dinner bell rings.)

Green Fox: Huh? Dinner already? Alright, I'm coming.

(And he leaves for dinner, and then Deadpool stepped out of the portal.)

Deadpool: We now have Mystery Kids lore

Ellie Phimister (Negasonic Teenage Warhead): So, what are we going to do?

Deadpool: Adding Marvel and DC to the mysteryverse.

Pyotr Nikolaevich Rasputin(colossal): Just wait five moments.

Deadpool: Something is wrong?

Pyotr Nikolaevich Rasputin(colossal): You can't just add them arbitrarily; they need to fit seamlessly into the logic and lore. Take Thanos and Darkseid, for example: they share a similar appearance, goals, and dialogue, and the beginning of the Mysteryverse doesn't need two cosmic conquerors.

Deadpool: You're suggesting offloading just anyone?

Pyotr Nikolaevich Rasputin(colossal): Not just any ones, but those that can be connected.

Charles Xavier (Doctor Strangefate): Colossus makes a good point. Look at me: I’m a blend of Doctor Fate and Doctor Strange they share the same origins and goals, making for a perfect fusion. Spider-Man and Superboy, on the other hand, aren't a perfect mix; their backgrounds are different.

Deadpool: So, the goal is to find the perfect blend, right?

Nina Thurman(domino): As for that tantrum you threw about Deathstroke we aren't going to give you a hard time about it.

Deadpool: Thank you

Bat bite: And add the necessary characters—like Kaine, or Kel, or whatever his name is... the Spider-Man clone from the comics and the animated series. He isn't in the movie universe, though, so that means we don't need him.

Ellie Phimister (Negasonic Teenage Warhead): Maybe we should look at the lore content first before adding anything else. Let me grab a sheet of paper... okay, all four episodes are ready: "The Beginning," "Nightmare Mirrors," "New Friends, New Adventures," and "The Crazy Party." The fifth episode is already in the works—wait, is the title really "Resident Evil"? Seriously? Oh well. Anyway, here are some mini-spoilers—well, for all the episodes except the third one; there’s no mini-spoiler for that one. So, here is the lore description... hmm, bad news, the Deadpool-Thor character is going to be from the Record of Ragnarok anime.

Deadpool: Damn it! I'm turning him into a hero anyway.

Ellie Phimister (Negasonic Teenage Warhead): And on top of that... no way... seriously... The creator has good taste they made Ladybug an antagonist for Mystery Kids!

Deadpool: What!? You're lying! Let me see!

Ellie Phimister (Negasonic Teenage Warhead): Just look at thisit’s absolutely wild! I wouldn't mind living there and watching it all unfold.

(And Deadpool takes the sheet and reads the contents.)

Deadpool: Well, well, uh-huh.... Gideon: Rise of the Roar finale.... Lunar Ascension event.... Moonbreak.... And.... Abolition! Ladybug and Cat Noir will really become antagonists and...

(And for a second, he realizes that he, too, is a character and that people on the other side are watching.)

Deadpool: So, no spoilers! Kids, you haven't heard this.

Ellie Phimister (Negasonic Teenage Warhead): Okay, everyone, let's do the LORE.

Deadpool: I'm already on my way

(And they all gathered to write the Marvel and DC lore for the Mysteryverse, while Pyotr Nikolaevich Rasputin (Colossus) steps aside from the screen and talks to the audience.)

Pyotr Nikolaevich Rasputin (Colossus) So, dear subscribers, what you're seeing now takes place before the events of the first episode, and the subsequent ones are parallel. But don't worry, the main plot of Mystery Kids is intact. Some Marvel and DC characters may cross over in another episode or special issue. Some plot twists, like the Celestials and the Living Tribunal, will be removed. If you want a full-fledged comic about children and teenagers, feel free to click Like.

(Somewhere in the vast Omniverse, a portal opens, and a disgruntled Deadpool steps out.)

Deadpool: Damn it! Wrong place again! Those UVI bureaucrats look like real bastards.

(And he sighs and looks around.)

Deadpool: I need to come up with something, or else I’ll get stuck here in this God-forsaken...

(And he sees his eyes widen at the beauty.)

Deadpool: What a wonderful world this is.

(He gazes at the hyperverse (for reference, a hyperverse is a collection of multiple multiverses) specifically, the "Mysteryverse" and as Deadpool reaches out, the entire lore, logic, plot, and mysteries unfold before his eyes.)

Deadpool: Oh my God! What wonderful lore! What characters! So many storylines! And cool fan theories and facts. And... And... What is that over there?

(And he examines a warning sign reading "Marvel and DC will not be canon for Mystery Kids," which sparks shock and rage in Deadpool.)

Deadpool: What the hell!? What do you mean Marvel and DC aren't canon for *Mystery Kids*!? Let's see what the problem is here... what the... I'm being fused with *who*!? Deathstroke!? That's total bullshit! Fusing me with him—that's impossible, even for Amalgam! And then there's the complexity of the universe's lore and the sheer number of characters. He just forgot about them and swapped them out for Image Comics heroes instead!! And Robert is taking Tony Stark's place.

(and he sighed deeply)

Deadpool: No, no, that won't do. Marvel and DC or at least one of them need to be everywhere in the Multiverse and Hyperverse. I’m going to call for backup to fix this; you just stay here.

(and after that Deadpool quickly returns home to Marvel to Pyotr Nikolaevich Rasputin(colossal) and Nathan Christopher Charles Summers (Cable) and Nina Thurman(domino) and Ellie Phimister (Negasonic Teenage Warhead) and yiko and he tells us everything about the Mysteryverse)

Nina Thurman(domino): Are you serious, Deadpool?

Deadpool: Of course! It’s got everything! Secrets, tons of plot and lore, a diverse cast of characters, adventure, mysterious kids, and... and... after all, it’s got Sonic for crying out loud!

Pyotr Nikolaevich Rasputin(colossal): Wade

Nathan Christopher Charles Summers (Cable): And you think we're going to do that?

Ellie Phimister (Negasonic Teenage Warhead): Well, I don't know I wouldn't mind having some fun in that world.

yiko: Me too

Deadpool: See? Even they are in favor! Oh, please, please let's do it.

Nina Thurman(domino): One question, if we say no, will you keep pestering us every day until we agree?

Deadpool: That’s a very good question, Domino, yes.

Nathan Christopher Charles Summers (Cable): Well then... let's go rewrite Mysteryverse.

Deadpool: Now that’s the way to do it! But to start, we need a team from DC, a ton of gear, meta-tech, and a player base.

(and Deadpool activates a time-manipulation device and opens portals.)

Norma Natividad: That’s a handle! There’s a hatch there!

Lizzie Natividad: Wait wait!

(And using telekinesis, she lifts the rug and opens the trapdoor, revealing darkness and dampness.)

Lizzie Natividad: Vladrimer, I don't know what you've dragged us into, but I'm already curious to see what's there.

Dogen Boole: Maybe we shouldn't.

Sam Boole: Come on, it’ll be fun.

Norma Natividad: Well then, go hang around the sofa, use astral projection to keep an eye on the Starter family, and wait for us.

(And they go down into the basement, turn on the light, and walk along the corridor.)

Sam Boole: So where do we go now?

Norma Natividad: I think that's where we need to go

(They walk into the room and see a heap of equipment, recordings, leads, and photographs.)

Sam Boole: Wow! That's amazing!

Lizzie Natividad: Yeah, that's better than the way I play video games.

Norma Natividad: Guys, look here it is. Psytanium, I told you it's not like that here.

(And she picks up the sheet and shows photographs of the mineral psittanium.)

Lizzie Natividad: Alright, alright, I get it let's take a look.

(and they are inspecting the premises)

Sam Boole: Wow, would you look at that! Turns out Ness is a psionic.

Lizzie Natividad: Come on, seriously?

Sam Boole: Yes, it is indeed strange: there is no information about the psyonaut Ness in the Psychonauts' headquarters, although there are other psyonauts there, namely Paula and Jaffe and Poo

Norma Natividad: Yeah, and just look at how even stranger it gets.

(and she snatches up another sheet of paper)

Norma Natividad: This post is about some stargate, and there are also... dimensions... other worlds... time travel... this thing is located in Gravity Falls

Lizzie Natividad: The very city where Razputin is currently living

Sam Boole: Girls, there’s another post about created creatures.

Norma Natividad: So read it, Sam.

Sam Boole: It is stated here that while I was working on creating vessels for Ness, I stumbled upon a mysterious, mystical substance called Empyrean. This substance possessed chemical, biological, and magical properties; contact with it triggered a transformation: Living Being + Mutagen + DNA = A Different Being. It appears that Ness's father was seeking this substance to resurrect his son.

Lizzie Natividad: Is this what you're talking about?

(and she points to the test tube)

Norma Natividad: So, Mr. Starten wanted to resurrect his son using *this*?

Lizzie Natividad: I have a bad feeling.

Sam Boole: Wow, it's just like something out of *The X-Files*.

Norma Natividad: And then there’s the matter of Giygas—an alien conqueror possessing incredible psychic and cosmic powers. He arrived from an unknown planet, following the same path as the meteorites; I have a theory that Giygas is somehow connected to the "psi-meteorites"—meaning, essentially, that Giygas created the psitanium.

Sam Boole: I knew that the aliens created Psitanium.

Lizzie Natividad: Alright, listen up: before we say anything, let's take photos of everything and carry off whatever we can—it'll be safer that way.

Sam Boole: Okay

(And suddenly, a worried Dogen Boole dashed out of the corridor.)

Dogen Boole: The girl is worried; Miss Startan is just starting the car and driving home!

Norma Natividad: What!!!

Lizzie Natividad: Let's grab everything quickly!

(Meanwhile, in another part of Oregon, three children from Psychonautes arrived. The first, a boy named Dogen Boole, has bluish-green skin and wears overalls with a yellow scarf. The second, a girl named Sam Boole, is very short. She has orange hair and a greenish tint. She wears a white shirt with a print of pink roses that falls to her shoulders. Her bra straps are black. She wears a black belt with a gold streak, a brown skirt, and black shoes. The third child, Lizzie Natividad, has purple skin, a pink nose, and dark blue hair. She wears a black hat, a gray sleeveless T-shirt, and a black skirt. They arrived in the town of Onett.)

Sam Boole: Is this Lizzie?

Lizzie Natividad: Yes Sam, it's here.

(and everyone looks at the town)

Sam Boole: What a beautiful city, but what are we going to do there?

Lizzie Natividad: Who the hell knows, it was just Vladimir who ordered us to go there for the sake of...

Norma Natividad: For the sake of Ness's dossier and the anomalies of this city

(and everyone turns around and sees Norma)

Sam Boole: Norma you came!

Lizzie Natividad: What the hell are you doing here? You know this is a covert operation.

Dogen Boole: But Lizzie, you yourself didn't want to go there, you said that these were children's detective stories and urban legends.

Norma Natividad: So guys, quiet down, I also think this is a myth, until I found out that meteorites with psi activity are falling in this city, these are literally psitaniums, we need to check this

Lizzie Natividad: Oh, okay, okay, let's go look at this city since Razputin raised a fuss on us.

Sam Boole: I'm interested too.

(and all four kids go in and explore the city)

Dogen Boole: What exactly are we looking for?

Norma Natividad: We're looking for Ness's file.

Lizzie Natividad: Do you even know that he died two years ago? Why bother digging up info from Dead Boy?

Norma Natividad: Razputin said it was a secret.

Sam Boole: Wow, so things are serious.

Norma Natividad: So judge by location, Miss Silverpoint's house is right here

(and they all look at the house and they have a problem)

Norma Natividad: But how are we going to do this?

Lizzie Natividad: I'm already imagining the scenario. Oh, hello, Mis. Starten, I apologize, could you please let us know about your dead son's report. This is very important for headquarters.

(and the two sisters began to quarrel with each other until Dogen noticed sounds coming from the door)

Dogen Boole: Guys, quietly, someone is coming out.

(and they all hid in the bush until two people came out of the door, the first a young woman and a girl next to her)

Moti Starten: So Tracy, I'll take you to my friend's place okay

Tracy Starten: Yes Mommy

(and they get into the car and drive away)

Lizzie Natividad: So the horizon is clear, let's change the plan.

Sam Boole: How is that?

Lizzie Natividad: We can easily break into the house.

Norma Natividad: Lizzie, are you alone? We need to act quietly!

(and Dogen comes to the house and says)

Dogen Boole: Guys, why should we just open it using telekinesis?

Lizzie Natividad: Well if you want

(And they go into the house, and there is no one there.)

Lizzie Natividad: Alright, Sam Dogen, you go check out the second floor; Norma, you take the kitchen, and I’ll handle the rest.

(They begin investigating the house; Sam and Dogen check the second floorwith Sam looking at photos of Ness while Norma inspects the kitchen, but she finds nothing and returns empty handed.)

Lizzie Natividad: And we squandered that emptiness.

Norma Natividad: Maybe we're looking in the wrong place.

Lizzie Natividad: Maybe you wanted to take the mission to look cool.

Norma Natividad: Actually, no!

Hi everyone! Here are my Marvel and DC superheroes. You might recall that I decided not to include the original Marvel and DC characters in my universe due to their complex lore, so I’ve tweaked them a bit. For instance, I combined Ghost Rider with Spawn—you could say I adopted the "Amalgam" concept there. However, for others, I didn't merge them; for example, I took Agent Spider from *Invincible* and simply changed his color scheme to the classic look. You could say my characters are "semi-canon oc/canon

Al Blaze - Ghost spawn (marvel/image comic)

Penny Peterson -spider bot (penny Parker marvel)

Wayne Scott-Metro man (Megamind The roles of Superman and Captain America)

Parker Peterson-agent spider(marvel/Invincible Peter Parker)

brener kirkamana- Crunk

Camilla Streich - miss mystery

Wingnut

(and we are transported to the library)

Fiddleford Hadron McGucket:In the old days, pioneers made a living by telling campfire stories. So, come on, eat books, kids!

(and he starts gnawing on the book like an abnormal dog while our Mystery Kids research the information)

Lili Zanotto: So people Susie, Wybie and Neil Cuphead Mugman and Todd are now outside guarding the remembrance

Dipper Pines: Okay, team mystery kids, if we can prove that Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, that'll finally put Pacifica in her place.

Mabel Pines: And solving the mystery will prove that Steven, Kaio, and I aren't stupid. We're serious.

(and she eats candy)

Mabel Pines: Very serious...

Steven Universe: Super very serious...

Kaio Kinkaid: Oh yes!

(And Coraline notices that Razputin Aquato is talking to someone on the radio.)

Coraline Jones: Hey Raz, what are you doing?

Razputin Aquato: Huh? Oh, I'm just taking out my secret Psychonaut transmitter personally behind the headquarters.

Coraline Jones: And why do we need this?

Razputin Aquato: Well, listen, I can't get Ness and his City out of my head. I've thoroughly read the official websites and urban legends about Onet. There are many strange, absurd, and frightening secrets hidden there, like living Taxo Vons, traffic signs, cultists who paint everything blue, and some other monsters. To find out, I sent three agents: Boren Boole, his sister Sam Boole, and Lizzie Nativideu.

Steven Universe: Wow, this town of Onette looks a lot like Gravity Falls.

Dipper Pines: It's so quiet, I need to decipher this code.

(and he turns on the spotlight)

Dipper Pines: This is not Egyptian and this is not numerology and this is not....

(and he notices the symbols of alchemy)

Dipper Pines: Of course! The triangle is an alchemical symbol of fire! By setting fire to the parchment, we'll reveal a secret message!

Mabel Pines: It's so obvious

(and Dipper takes a candle)

Dipper Pines: Okay, let's burn this thing and... Mabel

Mabel Pines: Bang! I just made a hat.

(Steven and Kaio are looking at the hat while Mabel notices the hat.)

Mabel Pines: Phew, I did something stupid again, phew, phew

Dipper Pines: Wait, Mabel, you put this together in a map.

(and he shows everyone how he made a map out of a hat)

Dipper Pines: And I was going to burn it...

Neil Downe: Guys!

(and then Susie Wybie and Neil and the rest come out)

Susie: The guys are following us, there are two cops already looking for us.

Wybie Lovat: We need to run urgently!

Sari Sumdac: Maybe we should discuss this somewhere else.

Mabel Pines: This map will take us to the Gravity Falls Museum of History.

(and we are transported to the museum)

Dipper Pines: Do you understand what this means? We'll have to penetrate the morning

Sue: And here are your free passes for Pioneer Day, and the balloons are out, blue and pink.

(dramatic music)

Dipper Pines: We're inside.

(And the mystery kids explore the museum)

Mabel Pines: What do we do next? Let's collect the napkins in Lincoln's Komi.

Kaio Kinkaid: Or take the horns off the buffalo.

Dipper Pines: Ugh, no. Judging by the map, the next clue about the city's true founder should be right... here!

(and everyone looks at the picture)

Dipper Pines: We need to get this sorted out quickly before the cops find us.

Neil Downe: I think that the one who has a bell can't read

Kaio Kinkaid: So what is it?

(and they all look at the picture Mabel Steven and Kaio look at the picture very seriously and the others are perplexed and think from the thought "what the hell are we doing")

Susie: Uh, what are we doing?

Kris Dreemurr: Let's look at the picture

(and Mabel Steven Kaio get bored and go to the bench and turn upside down)

Mabel Pines: Hey, artist, be less stupid!

All: It worked!

(and all the other kids wanted to do the same but Dendy stopped them)

Dendy: Wait a minute...

(and she uses a hologram to flip the picture over and there is an image of an angel statue.)

Dipper Pines: Wow! And I thought this was abstract painting!!

Coraline Jones: Wait, this is the same statue from the cemetery that Gideon unleashed on us, the zombie army, remember guys!

Dipper Pines: Let's run forward!

(And Mabel Steven Kaio has a severe headache)

Sue: Sorry, but there are no more blue balls.

Edwin "Deputy" Durland: So it means we came here in vain.

Dispatcher: Sheriff Blubs!

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: I'm listening to you

Dispatcher:did you catch them?

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: Not yet, but we're close by, I assure you, these kids won't pass us by.

Susie: fuck you!

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: children stand!

(and all the kids run out of the library and two cops are stuck and Kris Dreemurr gives the middle finger)

Kris Dreemurr: take a bite.

(Meanwhile, we're transported to our Mystery Kids heroes where they were discussing prods against Pacifica.)

Adeleine Duncan: So you did this? Come on, I was being mean on Pacifica, but even I didn't think to do it in front of everyone.

Cuphead: Yeah, that was something! Did you see Pacifica's face? It was awesome.

Susie: Yeah, if we had Ralsei and Lancer with us, it would be awesome.

Dendy: Articles about this, we have already found a good place so that no one will find out

Neil Downe: and where exactly?

(and we are transported back to the event of the party where Kris and Susie Dendy were visiting Soos near the warehouse)

Soos Ramirez: Of course guys, here is a warehouse for my friends, it's dark.

(And he opens it and the underground fighting arena opens before the three of them.)

Soos Ramirez: And here is the pantry if that's what you wanted, and the articles are all my father

Susie: Your father did something terrible to himself.

(and Kris goes into the pantry and uses a spell and transports Castle Tayw to the pantry)

Kris Dreemurr: Ready

(and we are transported to the present)

Susie: Now we can have fun to the fullest

Coraline Jones: That's right, Mabel! Mabel?

Lili Zanotto: It seems that these three are not up to us.

(and they all look at sad Steven and Kaio and Mabel)

Mabel Pines: Guys, can I ask you something? Do you think we're stupid?

Dipper Pines: Am no-no

Connie Maheswaran: No, you're just a little unusual.

Coraline Jones: But if a little

Mabel Pines: I knew it! Nacho sweater earrings. I thought I was being charming, but... but...

Steven Universe: But apparently people perceive us as a big joke.

(And Kaio fell face down on the asphalt.)

Kaio Kinkaid: It's a shame

(and Mabel takes off her nachos and sweater and ties it)

Dipper Pines: Come on, Mabel, you love this sweater so much.

Adeleine Duncan: Hey, don't you dare lie down, Kaio! We beat those Northwest guys!

Kaio Kinkaid: Throwing tomatoes just confirmed their words.

Mabel Pines: I used to do that until Pacifica ruined everything. She ruins everything!

(and all the children frowned with displeasure except Mugman)

All: Pacifica!

Mugman: Why do I have goosebumps?

Dipper Pines: Why does she think that being a member of the city's founders gives her the right to treat everyone like trash?

Coraline Jones: It's time to put her in her place

Dipper Pines: Wait! I think I read somewhere about Pacifica's great-great-grandfather.

(And he takes out a book and turns the page)

Dipper Pines: Of course. Oh, that's perfect. In my investigations... Maybe I should say that too.

All: No

Dipper Pines: I'll just read it as usual During my investigations, I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the founder of Gravity Falls; I believe the secret is hidden somewhere in the document. If only I could decipher the code!

(and he takes the package and opens it and in front of him a complex cipher is revealed)

Dipper Pines: Oh, my God. If this is a cover-up, then Pacifica's entire family is a fraud. It could be a massive conspiracy!

Mabel Pines: Really?

Steven Universe: Really

Kaio Kinkaid: Way

Dipper Pines: Forward gang

(and suddenly Todd jumped out at them)

Todd: I'm with you!

Dipper Pines: Wow where are you from?

Coraline Jones: And even more so, this is the work of Mystery Kids

Todd: You need me, and especially you are children and I am an adult, so that you do not get into trouble.

Mabel Pines: That's right, conspiracy theories are serious stuff, right?

Dipper Pines: Yes definitely.

Mabel Pines: Let him come with us, if we help you solve this code, then no one will ever be able to call us fools again.

Steven Universe: And I will prove the gems

Kris Dreemurr: Well with God

Dipper Pines: Forward Mystery kids

Mugman: Stop, come to your senses, this is a conspiracy! The government! Everyone! I implore you. Don't do this!

Cuphead: Don't whine, brother, it will be cool to run after them.

(and they all run happily until Sheriff Daryl Blubs watches them and takes out his walkie-talkie)

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: This is Sheriff Blubs. We're in code sepia!

(The dispatcher almost spat out his coffee.)

Dispatcher: What!? And what are you going to do about it?

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: I'm following them right now.

Dispatcher: Find them and stop them, we have nowhere to retreat.

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: I understand, Blubs, over and out. Edwin "Deputy" Durland, used this covert mission we've been preparing for our entire careers.Are you ready?

(And then he rings the bell)

Edwin "Deputy" Durland: Oh

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: Heh, if being nice was a crime, you'd be breaking the law.

Edwin "Deputy" Durland: Let's go and catch them.

(and they both run and shout joyfully while another policeman watches them behind the tank)

Wade Whipple: Yeah, a conspiracy. Treason is against the law, for this we need a hero, Wade Whipple. We need to save them

(And he heroically runs after him, not paying attention to the Pacifica standing by the tree, while Dispatcher puts down his coffee and looks gloomily at the folder with the inscription "Horzine biotic")

(and this booth comes a slender man with dark glasses)

Tom Wachowski: Okay, let's stop this farce

Sonic: Sir Donut

(Sonic shouted joyfully.)

Razputin Aquato: What?

Pearl: This is Sheriff Thomas Michael Wachowski. He is also the husband of veterinarian Maddy Wachowski and the adoptive father of Sonic.

Amethyst: He's also a bore.

(And Tom approaches the enraged Northwest and Pacifica itself)

Pacifica Northwest: Sheriff Wachowski! Arrest them immediately.

Tom Wachowski: Against whom?

(And suddenly she froze, she doesn’t know who insulted her or threw her, because everyone did it without exception.)

Pacifica Northwest: I...I...I don't know?

Preston Northwest: Shut up Pacifica, look at yourself! We are Northwest, we should be above this!

Pacifica Northwest: Yes! You're right, Dad. Throwing tomatoes just proved my point.

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: So everything diverges

Coraline Jones: So gang, let's leave before they find us.

(and they all run away happily (except Kaio, Steven and Mabel) and meanwhile at the fence Perry and Stan are stuck in the mud in the car and are trying to get out until Steve comes)

Perry Babcock: Come on, Pines, I don't want to be here!

Stanley Pines: Hey, donkey! Help me with the car, will you?

Steve: Here in 1863, I've never heard of "The Machine." Please tell me, what is this magical box and wheel?

Stanley Pines: Come on, Steve, you're a mechanic after all, don't be too condescending to me.

Steve: Slack... I'm not familiar with this "bold" new expression.

Stanley Pines: I can't take it anymore! I'm getting stupider every second here.

(And he grabs Steve by the collar)

Perry Babcock: Hey, stop it, otherwise we...

Sheriff Blubs: Are we going to have to intervene?

Stanley Pines: Oh, look. Constable, what are you going to do? Throw me in the stocks. Haha.

(and a few minutes later he was locked up and Perry was in the pads)

Stanley Pines: Are you kidding me!?

Perry Babcock: And why me!?

(And then Amethyst comes and turns around to look at them)

Amethyst: Wow Stan, how did you get here?

Stanley Pines: Nothing personal, just a fight.

Perry Babcock: Who are you anyway, and why are you purple?

Amethyst: I'm Amethyst Dude, don't worry Stan, hey guys, come here.

(And then comes Cranky Kong and Donkey Kong)

Donkey Kong: So who are we releasing?

Cranky Kong: Stan buddy

Perry Babcock: is this... is this... is this a talking gorilla!?

Stanley Pines: Cranky! DK! Thank God! Get us out!

Cranky Kong: In three seconds you're free

Wirt Rogers: The macaque won't come out

(and all of them are paid on Wirt Garnet and Pearl)

Stanley Pines: Oh my god, I only missed you

Cranky Kong: Oh no, not that.

Amethyst: Oh wow, the Constable himself.

Pearl: So Amethyst and Kongi, move away from Stan. If he's in a block, it means he did something, otherwise it will be worse

Amethyst: Oh, oh, you scared me, otherwise it will be worse.

(and a minute later Amethyst and Cranky Kong and Donkey Kong were in stocks)

Amethyst: Come on

Perry Babcock: here's some help for you

Cranky Kong: Yeah

(And Gideon comes to them, looking like a businesslike commoner, and sings along cheerfully.)

Stanley Pines: Hey, cool outfit, Gideon. You look much more feminine than usual.

Gideon Gleeful: Oh wow, what a meeting!

Perry Babcock: Hey, isn't that the shorty?

Gideon Gleeful: Come on, Stanford and Perry. I'm just a humble farmer growing tomatoes and selling my wares. Oops, I dropped one.

(and he throws tomatoes at Stanley and Perry in one eye)

Gideon Gleeful: Oh, another one fell

(and he throws their tomatoes again)

Perry Babcock: AAA!!! Damn you, shorty.

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: Listen up, listen up! The good old graduation ceremony is about to begin.

Edwin "Deputy" Durland: Hooray! And I have a bell!

(and in the crowd a thief steals a purse from an old woman)

Old woman: Oh no! my wallet.

Edwin "Deputy" Durland: Ding ding! Ding ding! Hooray!

Sheriff Daryl Blubs: He loves his bell very much.

(and all the Mystery Kids are approaching opening)

Pacifica Northwest: Hello everyone! I'm Pacifica Northwest, the great-great-granddaughter of the city's founder, Nathaniel Northwest, and his friend, William Dewey. And I'm also very rich.

(and the audience gives applause at Northwest)

Pacifica Northwest: If you have a pioneering spirit, we ask that you be raised and represented

Mabel Pines: Viewer participation

Dipper Pines: I don't know, Mabel, isn't this girl your sworn enemy?

Coraline Jones: And after what we did yesterday, she won't forget such impudence

Mabel Pines: it's a thing of the past

Kaio Kinkaid: Go

Pacifica Northwest: And our guests...

(She turns around to see Steven, Mabel and Kaio come out on stage and she is shocked and angry to see)

Pacifica Northwest: This is Mabel Kaio and Steven

Kaio Kinkaid: Yeeess!!!

Mabel Pines: Bi ba pli

Steven Universe: And all together, USA! USA!

All: USA! USA!

Fanatic USA: USA! USA!

Pacifica Northwest: Sorry to interrupt, but this is a serious holiday and you look stupid. It's like a dog playing basketball.

(she pointed at the sweaters)

Pacifica Northwest: You're always such a laughing stock.

Mabel Pines: I can be serious too

(She pulls on a sweater and tries to be serious.)

Kaio Kinkaid: Hey, watch your tongues.

Pacifica Northwest: Hey, tell me you have nacho earrings and a ridiculous star t-shirt

(and Steven and Mabel shamefully hide their earrings and star emblem, while Susie and Kris Cuphead and Todd and Amethyst gather in a circle to come up with a plan of action.)

Kris Dreemurr: This is how we'll do it, this is how we'll do it, we'll split up, we'll go off one by one, gossip and then a chain reaction, you get it

All: Yes

Susie: Hold on to them, you're finished Pacifica

(and they go their separate ways)

Pacifica Northwest: Yes, they are definitely ashamed to applaud the girls

(And everyone except Mystery Kids Gems, Autobot, and Sonic's team, Mario and Kirby, start clapping, and Kris, completely stone-faced, throws rotten tomatoes. and there was a deathly silence, as if time itself remained. Preston and Priscilla turned pale as a sheet from shock and horror, as if they had seen death themselves, and Kaio and Mabel froze in shock, and Steven covered his mouth with his hands, and some of the Mystery Kids were shocked, and Coraline and Lili were purely enjoying themselves, and the entire townspeople froze as if they were dug up, staring at Pacifica, who had gotten a tomato right in his eye and fallen, tomato shreds ruining his clothes, and the blonde Pacifica herself was smiling unusually, as if nothing had happened, although her eye was still open.)

Pacifica Northwest: Oh, rotten tomato, for a serious holiday.

Kris Dreemurr: Oh, what are you talking about?

(And Pacifica froze, trying to look around the area to find votes to sue, but without success.)

Kris Dreemurr: And rumors say that yesterday someone ordered asses to make faces with tongues for guys to earn points for the crown.

Townspeople 1: What are we talking about?

Townspeople 2: Wait, my daughter said that at the party yesterday this girl danced the same description.

(And the townspeople start gossiping and whistling, and the Northwests, and Todd puts on a mask, glasses, and a mustache.)

Todd: My God, what vulgarity! She talks about seriousness, but she does such things!

Cuphead: Down with her

(And after the words, he throws a tomato in Pacifica's face, which enraged Preston.)

Preston Northwest: Hey, little brats, do you even know who I am? This is a serious event for normal people.

Susie: Oh, you scared me, it's Pioneer Day! Everyone's putting it on and having fun, not listening to the Elite's lecture.

Amethyst: We're about to screw people over.

(and Kris Dreemurr and Susie and Amethyst and Cuphead and Todd keep throwing at them)

Priscilla Northwest: AAA!!! Preston! Rotten tomatoes! They stink.

(And Razputin reads Pacifica's thoughts and then there's an explosion of rage and shock, rubbing his forehead.)

Razputin Aquato: Hey guys, I just got into her head and it's brutal! She says, "Beast, bastard, scum, scum, beast, freak, scum, scum!" She hates everyone in this city.

Lili Zanotto: Ha! So there you have the true face of this cheap Barbie! This doll pretends to be a saint, but inside she's rotten. And look at those people. It seems they want to do the same.

Kris Dreemurr and Amethyst and Susie and Todd and Cuphead: Down with the elites of the elite/Seriousness and behave like a Pig/Pacifica is a nasty fool/Let's throw her forward