Black, White, And Rainbows All Over

Ilia: Oh man oh gods. There's only one answer to this because it popped into my head immediately and haunts me to this day.

Blake: Okay, I have to hear this.

Ilia: Yeah so, I don't remember what I was playing but I just kind of offhandedly asked the chat to roast me. Most of what they were saying was smallball stuff but one comment, one comment floored me.

Weiss: What was it?

Ilia: "Ilia dresses like a gym bro but looks like she'd die if she tried to do five pushups in a row."

Blake: *snort laughs* Oh damn-

Weiss: Dresses like a...what?!

Ilia: To be fair I was wearing a sleeveless gray hoodie and shorts during this stream, so...yeah.

Weiss: Ohhh, yes, I know that outfit...they got you good.

Ilia: They got me good.

Blake: Are they right though?

Ilia: About what?

Blake: Drop and do five pushups right now.

Blake: Eggplant has entered her Long Teen stage.

Ilia: She's so long. She is a tube.

Weiss: She's got little sticks for legs.

Ilia: She has made appearances in voice, but not on camera.

Weiss: She hears Ilia talking and yelling and likes to participate.

Ilia: We called her Eggplant because, well, it's funny. Cats deserve funny names.

Blake: And eggplants are actually white before they turn purple and are harvested, and Eggplant is an all-white cat.

Weiss: Absolutely! *reaches down and boops Eggplant's nose* Boop!

Ilia: Live kitten coverage continues: She is currently oh so very very sleepy.

Blake: Her name is Eggplant.

Ilia: This just in: Kitten is now sleeping. Will update with further information when it becomes available.

Blake: -_-

Weiss: :3c

Ilia: :3c

Blake, awkwardly: Aha, ha ha ha?

Weiss: You sound like you have never laughed in your life.

Blake: Perhaps I haven't.

Weiss: You laughed at that video of the talking parrot this morning, you emo.

Ilia: Ehehehe~!

Blake: That wasn't very evil, more mischievous. Like you're about to commit a crime but like, a funny crime.

Ilia: I accept that. Weiss, your turn.

Weiss, with thunder and lightning in the background: MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Blake & Ilia: *hiding behind the sofa, tembling*

Ilia, wearing cat ears: :3

Weiss, also wearing cat ears: :3

Blake: *sigh* Ny—

Ilia, shoving her out of the way: NYAN!!!

Weiss, from the other room: NYAAAA~!!!

Blake: I’m somehow the least cat-like person here…

Ilia: *slides Blake’s mug onto the carpet*

Blake: The fuck?!

Ilia: *smiles innocently*

Blake: *picks her up by the scruff of her jacket and starts carrying her away*

Blake:

Ilia: *carries in a projector and projector screen*

Weiss:

Blake:

Ilia: *turns on the projector to reveal the first slide in a slideshow titled “Why wearing hoodies all the time is an acceptable alternative to wearing a bra”*

Weiss: Turn it off.

Ilia: I haven’t even started!

Blake: We’ve talked about this.

Ilia: It took me like twenty minutes to make this thing, let me at least… *next slide* Pros and cons. Pro one: Less laundry.

Weiss: Doing less laundry is an indication of a bigger underlying problem.

Ilia: Pro two: I look cute in hoodies!

Blake: Fair.

Ilia: Pro three: Easy titty access.

Weiss: Okay keep going.

Ilia: Pro four: Hoodies are comfy

Blake: Are there any cons?

Ilia: Getting there… *next slide* Cons: None.

Weiss: I can tell you some cons.

Ilia: Nope, there’s no Q&A in this show.

Weiss: It’s summer, you can’t wear hoodies in the summer.

Ilia: Watch me!

Weiss: I do watch you! And you turn red from the heat!

Ilia: It’s a natural Faunus reaction.

Blake: It is not.

Weiss: Ilia, if you don’t want to wear a bra, there are other options than wearing a hoodie. You can just wear a T-shirt.

Ilia: Doesn’t conceal well enough.

Blake: Or a sports bra?

Ilia: Defeats the purpose.

Weiss: What’s your vendetta against bras?

Ilia: They just get in the way.

Blake: …Yeah?

Weiss: That’s the point!

Ilia: Ough.

Blake: Just wear a T-shirt. Who cares if your titties are a little less concealed? You should prioritize being comfortable.

Weiss: Especially if it’s a bigger T-shirt. It accomplishes the same thing as your hoodies without making you sweat buckets.

Ilia: But T-shirts don’t have hoods that I can hide in.

Weiss: If you need to hide, just hide under Blake’s shirt.

Blake: Or under Weiss’ skirt.

Weiss: Huh??

Ilia: If you say so!

Weiss: Her freckles turn a light pink! It's the cutest thing in the world!

Ilia: *blushes*

Blake: They start turning more and more red the more flustered she gets.

Ilia: *blushing intensifies*

Weiss: And then the blush starts spreading down her body until she's all pink or red!

Ilia: *terminal blushing*

Blake, smirking at Ilia: So easy~

Blake: Now, to be fair, we all love to have a turn as little spoon on occasion. But...yes, Weiss is the de facto little spoon.

Ilia: Unless she's cold, in which case she becomes middle spoon.

Weiss: I'm still a capable big spoon, right?

Blake: To Ilia, maybe. When you spoon me it feels like I'm wearing a backpack in bed.

Weiss: You're just so much taller than me, spooning you feels like spooning a kayak.

Blake: Uhh, no?

Ilia: Good, don’t. You wake up and it’s like a hangover but worse. I feel like I’ve lost ten pounds of water weight and gained five pounds of Pringle weight all at once.

Weiss: Is that why there were so many crumbs in the bed last night?

Ilia: No.

Weiss: But you just said…

Ilia: Those are from the Doritos I ate before the Pringles.

Blake: You ate my Doritos…

Ilia: Girls you’re missing the point, I need water.

Weiss: Then go get water!

Ilia: I can’t move! I might turn to Pringles dust before I make it to the kitchen!

Weiss: It’s the next room over!

Ilia: I’m… Lol, I’m literally a couch potato.

Blake: Weiss, get the potato some water.

Weiss: Why me?

Blake: She stole my Doritos. I can’t just forgive that by giving her water.