sobre lo absurdo y efímero

(ask con’t, sorry it’s long) i’ve just gotten out of a bad relationship not too long ago and gets really leery of cdramas portraying control as love (ie one love interest preventing the other from leaving, or clear power imbalances as with period dramas). i really don’t think that’s what’s happening here but got kind of uncomfortable too at the “i want to bring someone back to gusu/hide them away” line LWJ had earlier. might you have an alternate interpretation? i’m almost sure i’m misreading!

So a couple things first: thank you so much for asking me this question because my thoughts about the untamed/mdzs have been so much and turbulent that having a specific thing to focus on is really helpful, AND it’s also really flattering that you think I??? would have worthwhile thoughts???? about this really complicated thing.

Second: I want to make sure to say that no matter how strongly I feel about my interpretation, no matter how long I spend composing this response, you are not obligated to change how you feel. If that line still bothers you, it still bothers you. Our experiences are different! And it’s okay! That being said, haha, buckle up I guess, because WOW do I have a lot of things to say.

Spoilers up through episode 43, obviously, with allusions to the novel. I will try to keep any details about things that happen post-43 vague.

Let’s begin with this moment:

“Was he right to do this?” || “I don’t know.”

[id: image 1 is a screenshot of lan xichen asking “was he right to do this” and image 2 is a screenshot of wei wuxian responding “i don’t know” from episode 43 of the untamed /end id]

I think we need to think about how to answer this question before we can answer your question: how can we interpret the relationship between lan wangji and lan xichen’s parents? Was it moral? Was it okay? Was it right? This is clearly a question that lan xichen has been wrestling with his whole life. And from this scene, I think that he’s made his peace with the fact that it’s always going to be a question for him, not because the inherent morality is unclear, but because of the emotional subjectivity he’s always going to hold for it. He doesn’t expect wei wuxian to have an answer because he doesn’t have an answer himself.

Something that I remember from the novel that doesn’t make it into this scene, though, is what wei wuxian says after lan xichen asks, “can you understand why my father acted this way?” and he nods, is the explanation he gives: he hated the person who had murdered his mentor, but he also loved her so much he couldn’t bear to see her destroyed. Unable to live with himself, he married her, swore to protect her, and then imprisoned her for the rest of her life. Tormented by his contradictions, he then locked himself away as well. lan xichen agrees.

lan wangji and lan xichen were raised without their parents—largely, they were raised by their upright uncle, who, due to his brother’s behavior, took up the responsibilities of sect leader and parent at the same time. (It’s really no wonder that lan qiren has such a vicious dislike for wei wuxian: he loves lan wangji so much, and he’s so afraid to watch the child he raised repeat history. Beyond that, I think it’s pretty safe to say that lan qiren probably harbors not insignificant resentment towards his brother for the harm he did to both his children and to lan qiren himself.) Lan qiren is not married and as far as we know, never has any romantic entanglements after he begins raising the lan brothers. So where does that leave lan wangji and lan xichen in terms of models for romance? All they have is the fraught relationship between their parents. 

lan wangji is not good with words. He expresses himself primarily through action, which we see time and time again. When lan wangji says to lan xichen, “there’s someone I want to take back to the cloud recesses. take them back and hide them away,” I think he’s trying to explain (with words) his feelings for wei wuxian in the only way he knows how: by making a reference to the only romantic relationship to which he and lan xichen were firsthand witnesses. lan xichen canonically understands wangji better than pretty much everyone: he sees straight through him at Biling lake when he invites wei wuxian and jiang cheng along to hunt the water spirits because he knows lan wangji wants wei wuxian to come. He asks if he wants loquats even when wangji refuses them. So when lan wangji says that, lan xichen first repeats the statement carefully to make sure he understands what’s at stake, and then he says something very crucial: “you only fear that he isn’t willing”.

Relax. It's not really a shipping post, but I do need to get my feelings out for this ship.

I am cackling and giddy about BJYX/YiZhan/BoZhan/WangXiao/etc. taking social media by storm this weekend. I noticed that the Xiao Zhan/Wang Yibo shipping has steadily been rising after The Untamed ended. (I'm not sure why, is this like the next level for us now that there are no more WangXian content?) I think the fanmeet in Thailand is even the last straw for some people, because my Twitter feed is filled with so many memes that are basically variations of: "I, an intellectual, make it a policy to not ship RPF for many reasons (Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo appear together) YIZHAN OMFGAHHSJDKW"

Now, I have spent some years on this Earth, I have had my share of disappointments, and hell, I even work in statistics. I understand therefore that shipping is most likely just shipping. The real thing is unlikely, especially given the country they live in.

At the very least though, what I do believe is that Wang Yibo genuinely likes Xiao Zhan, admires him and looks up to him, not necessarily in a romantic sense but definitely in a "holy shit this person is amazing I really really like him maybe we can be friends" sense. Anyone who has ever been through high school (or idk childhood) must have felt or been on the receiving end or at the very least been witness to (can the Jiang Cheng's of the world say "hey" or roll their eyes altogether now lmao) something like it. Anyone who has ever had an amazing elder sibling or some similar figure must have felt it, too.

It's a pretty amazing feeling, and I am actually happy for Wang Yibo for having a figure like this in his young life right now. It especially tickles my heart given the fact that Wang Yibo, between the two of them, is actually the more seasoned celebrity. Wang Yibo is an actor, an idol (even one recognized enough to be a talent mentor), a model, a variety show host—he's been everywhere, and he is growing better at the things he knows and learning more that he does not know at an alarming rate. This kid is an absolute monster. It's like he was born to be a celebrity, and it is no surprise he debuted early. I just love how someone like this does still fanboy like every one of us, finds someone he looks up to and tails them and is an absolute dork around them, just like everyone else. I love the idea of him having fun and sending dorky texts to the gege he is very, very biased about, who then teases him about it because Wang Yibo is apparently the kind of thick-faced celebrity who uses his own memes in chats. I just love this, okay? You can take my "shiny idol finds pockets of ordinary life things with someone they like" trope from my cold, dead fingers.

And Xiao Zhan, who seems so genuinely nice that he makes everybody around him fall in love with him, who has seen the world, been "ordinary", been part of the workforce, has basically been an everyman just walking the streets and making a living, who now recognizes his own limits and works hard to bridge those gaps—him rising to fame like this just warms my heart. Xiao Zhan is the kind of guy who makes you root for him because he is oddly so approachable and relatable. Despite him being likeable though, I know he still has a lot of critics, even though his fans know he works so hard. For him to have someone like Wang Yibo liking and supporting him, validating him as a celebrity despite being a relative late-comer, is somehow so important and comforting to me and gives me the strength to want to stab those critics omg how about you say something useful and let a new generation learn and be good artists eh???

Hanji and Magath are perfectly capable leader and they have the right cart (pun intended) to get them to Shigansina quickly, so hopefully they can figure something out of this fuckmess.

Countdown to Levi’s birthday

So instead of writing the essay this is exactly what I’m talking about. This shit reduces your capacity for empathy. If you can’t understand why people are hurt by a simple joke, nay, think that’s the whole point… How the hell are you supposed to feel for someone when they come to you complaining of ACTUAL oppression? It’s the foot in the door phenomenon. A little oppression isn’t too bad, cuz it’s funny, right? It hardens your heart against others

Somebody actually wrote this essay already. It’s a Twitter thread about how the alt right recruits teenage boys by getting them to post slightly offensive memes… And then when they get called out and don’t understand why the alt right channels their anger at feminists and women and people of color and liberals. According to this thread, boys are being “set up”

Read the whole thread at the link above this is just a snip