solohippyluv

No

Wait

Stop 

(These are full sentences! You do not need to say any more) 

I am not comfortable. 

I am not comfortable, I would like… 

you to wait a moment.

another person in the room. 

everyone else out of the room. 

a doctor/nurse of my same gender to preform this test/procedure. 

the person who came with me to this appointment in the room. 

you to explain everything before you begin. 

you to tell me what you are doing as you go. 

to do this another day. 

I want to get a second opinion before we proceed.

I don’t understand, please repeat that. 

I don’t understand, please explain more simply. 

Please say that slower/spell that, I want to do some research myself.

I would like to talk to [someone in my life, ie my parents to SO] before making this decision. 

No, I do not need to talk to [anyone] before making this decision, I am confidant on my own and am ready to proceed. 

What are the side effects of this medication/procedure? What are the potential complications? 

Why are you recommending/prescribing this specific thing? 

What other treatment options are there? Why are you choosing this?

Would your treatment plan be different if I were a man/woman older/younger had kids, etc? Why are you choosing this one then?

IS there anything I should know about this treatment you have not yet told me?  

I understand you say not to, but If I choose to do X, against medical advice, what risks am I running? (ie taking recreational drugs while on medication)

How much will this cost? 

Are there any less expensive options/tests we can run first? 

Is there a generic of this medication you can prescribe instead?

I think you are not understanding me, I said…

You are not listening to me, please let me finish describing my symptoms. 

You are not understanding how much pain I am in, let me clarify… 

I do not think it is anxiety/depression/my weight/etc, what else could it potentially be? 

I think by assuming it is anxiety/depression/my weight/etc you are ignoring some symptoms. Please listen again and let’s discuss what else it could be. 

Please write in my chart that you are not testing for X and why not. 

I am in enough pain/this is detrimental enough to my life that non-treatment is not an option. If you can not treat this/figure out what is wrong, to whom can you refer me?

Please write (or help me write) a summary of what we did today so I don’t forget 

What are our next steps? 

If [what you are recommending] is ineffective, what would my next steps be? What other doctor should I talk to? 

What is the best way to contact you if I have additional questions or issues? 

IT’S OKAY TO TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT MEDICAL-RELATED TRIGGERS, AND THEY SHOULD RESPECT THEM.

I have a terrible fear of hypodermic needles. Whenever I get vaccinations, blood draws, or dental work requiring novocaine, I always tell the attending at the beginning of the visit that I have a needle phobia. I’ve even done this donating blood: “I’ll be fine as long as you never let me see the needle. Don’t even tell me when you’re going to stick me. Just do it.” Logically, I know it’s there–but as long as I don’t see it, I can make it go away. (The brain can be awesome like that.) I’ve been very lucky with the doctors and phlebotomists I’ve had: in the last ten years I’ve had a problem only once, and it was with a dumbass nurse at the blood donation clinic whose mental process was apparently “She has two excellent veins here, one is in the middle of her arm where a typical stick is done and one is right on the edge supported only by a thin strip of tissue, I know, let’s use the second one, that’ll totally hold up to the weight of a large-gauge needle.” I ended up having to look at the needle in order to keep it from permanently damaging my arm. It was very much Not A Good Time–but the nurse who rescued me, bless her, realized I was about to faint from reasons that had nothing to do with my blood being collected, and after bandaging the botched stick she brought me a drink and snack laying down rather than in the recovery room.

This is exactly how a medical professional should react to an accidental trigger: she addressed the immediate medical problem (botched sticks are ugly as hell), then managed my symptoms (lightheadedness should be treated by remaining supine) and provided a secondary solution to the medical issue (I didn’t lose a life-threatening amount of blood, but I did lose enough to fuck with my blood sugar and cause further lightheadedness).

On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve had nurses from shots and Novocaine sticks completely remove the needles from the room before even letting me look back at them after the stick is done. This is a great preventative response to a trigger: it’s an easy fix to just remove the source of anxiety, so they do.

IF YOUR DOCTOR REFUSES TO MANAGE YOUR TRIGGER SYMPTOMS, FIND A NEW DOCTOR. Sometimes it’s impossible to get around a trigger; say you have a serious thing about deep wounds, and you need stitches: you’ll have to monitor them. There’s no way around it (unless your wound is of the very specific type that can be closed up with one of those zipper bandages). But a good doc should be able to give you solutions to manage your response to the situation–for example, gently feeling the wound for heat that may indicate infection before you have to take a look at it.

I went to urgent care for a sore throat and fever. The doctor I saw decided it must be the flu and sent me home for 3 days. 3 days later, my throat still hurt, my fever was higher. I went back to urgent care, saw a different provider who ran some tests and realized I had a bacterial infection in my throat. He prescribed an aggressive course of antibiotics (since the nasty beasts head been given an extra 3 days to build their disgusting homes in my pharynx) and sent me home with instructions to go to the emergency room if I got any worse.

The next time I went to urgent care was after a low speed car accident. The guy who mistook a bacterial infection for the flu was the first provider to come into the exam room. I told him I refused to be treated by him because I did not trust his competence. He told the rest of the staff I wanted a same-gender provider, and I was seen by a very competent doctor. I also told her that gender had nothing to do with my rejection of the other doctor.

LOVE 

HAS

TAKEN 

ITS TOLL

goodbye