Collaboratively Gay

tuna melt but when they’re on the couch and Ilya pulls Shane’s head to rest on his chest Shane actually falls asleep and after a few minutes Ilya’s like huh he’s kind of quiet why isn’t he touching my dick yet fuck I really wanted him to touch my dick maybe tuna was bad and he’s internally panicking because uh oh sleepover failed Shane does not like tuna and will not touch my dick but he looks over and Shane is just. Snoring. Ever so softly, face nuzzled into Ilya’s neck, hand limp on his thigh and Ilya literally melts into a puddle because he just fucked Shane Hollander and then they slept in his bed in his home together and then they woke up and Ilya made him lunch and now Shane is just snuggled up against him, conked the fuck out. And Ilya is going to die. He moves to get more comfortable, hand bracing the back of Shane’s neck, moving carefully so not to wake him, so they’re now horizontal on the couch, legs tangled together, Shane’s head on Ilya’s chest, Ilya’s hand carding softly through his hair and Ilya, heart beating so loud he worries it will wake Hollander up just whispers “Shane” and there’s a few moments of silence and just as Ilya himself starts to drift off Shane’s face crinkles as he sighs and tries to bury himself deeper into Ilya’s chest; snuggling closer, just murmurs sleepily, “Ilya.” And oh Ilya Rozanov is definitely dead now. He died perished deceased and this is heaven

(Shane voice) I’m taking you to O-Town later. Oh. No. I meant Ottawa but I guess also orgasm town if we have time.

ilya responds to ig q&a questions that say ‘whats it like to be a fucking f*ggot?’ with a picture of shane in a backwards cap and a white tshirt casually lifting the hem to wipe his mouth with one hand so his abs are exposed while he’s holding ilyas hand with the other, with the text ‘VERY AWESOME 😍👍’

what if phil is having so many medical emergencies because hes secretly an ao3 author and the curse got to him?

ooh im phil lester im the hottest funniest most interesting guy in the world i have sexy blonde hair and perfect comedic timing and the house and job and man of my dreams and said man is also the hottest funniest most interesting guy in the world and looks at me like the sun is shining out of my perfect ass girl fuck you

Ilya pulling Shane into his lap when he’s fresh out of the shower, still in a towel that’s knotted at his waist and his skin is half covered in water droplets, all warm and damp and red flush, pretty skin strong lines of muscle and freshly shave. smooth stomach and pelvis leading to the base of his cock that Ilya is keenly eyeing. Shane had been reaching for the Advil he knew Ilya kept in the side draw, his hip twinging from practice. Instead he gets the greedy hands of his husband dragging him into his lap, on top of him, leaving damp spots on Ilya’s flannel pyjamas pants and a tongue in his mouth. It’s better than the Advil, that’s for sure. Turns out it’s a ploy anyway, Ilya kisses him soft limbed and loose, and hard, in his towel. And then Ilya rolls him, gets Shane on his back and Shane is moving to lock his thighs around Ilya’s waist when instead Ilya’s hand is catching his hip and it’s wet and icey hot. Shane shivers and the familiar smell of deep heat muscle rub, lets out a grin as Ilya’s thumb finds the exactly aching spot. He rubs at it till Shane is slow blinks and soft mouthed against the mattress and he’s wriggling his toes against Ilya’s hip where his foot is resting on it so that Ilya can get the right angle. He’s still stupid hard in his towel, gazing at Ilya who is gazing down at him, the bulge in his towel. “If you touch my cock without washing your hands I will completely kill you” Shane mutters and Ilyas laugh makes his stomach go warm

I love Dan and Phil's dynamic where Dan tries to make a classy and subtle dirty joke and Phil just steamrolls by bluntly saying the thing. Honestly that makes it funnier