I got smelly garbage or old dumpster

i haven’t been to subway in 2 years cos the woman went “what bread do you want” and i went “yeah”

oh my god i just killed it in the mcdonalds drive thru

she heard my order exactly, i didn’t stutter, no uhhhh from me. clean, normal human interaction, just a fluid conversation. so cool

weddings are crazy expensive me and my s/o will just have an ancient blood ritual in the woods at 3am

the moon herself is going to join our hands in marriage……..its called intimacy 

oh to be a chunky orange farm cat 

oh i love bathtub

can anyone explain why all of my milk went rancid

your vibes were bad bro

I hate this site

im horny but like horny to cuddle

you’re lonely

Gays that have cried in math class make some nooooooiiiseee

*butler voice* your vibes, sir

Turning m*lk into shampagne, skinny legends only!

Modern day Jesus Christ

messiah carey

Remember when Love, Simon said „I‘m just like you. I have a big house in the suburbs, i drive a brand new car, and I have 3 friends who like hanging out with me. I‘m just like you, except, I’m gay.“ and I thought, buddy, I have nothing in common with you except being gay

this the rawest shit i ever seen in my life