1. Getting rid of many forms of social media will make you inconceivably mysterious. Are you an immortal that only texts and writes letters? Are you too busy devising a scheme or researching a lost civilization? Perhaps then you will exist more as an idea than a product of consumerism. Art was never meant to wear a price tag anyway.

2. Exercise to prepare for the day you have to leap onto that moving train to catch the figure who stole your carefully-curated research. Walk through cemeteries, the woods, museums—anywhere that allows you to appreciate the aching, fleeting beauty of the earth. Get your heart racing to remind yourself that you are, against all odds, alive.

3. Dressing with confidence will have you walking with purpose and others guessing what your purpose is. Why do you always look so put-together? Where did you get that haunting ring? Who’s chest wore that cardigan before you did? Where are you going with such enviable pride? They do not have to know that you wear a Philly’s baseball hoodie to study late into the night.

4. Journaling madly and keeping lists of everything can nearly guarantee that your teeming brain will live on, immortalized, for an archaeologist one thousand years down the line to unearth a detailed account of a most interesting ancient life.

5. If you learn small psychological, herbal, and folk tricks to cure headaches, sooth stomachs, and ease minds, and perform them with utmost flare, many will believe you to be magical in nature. You do not deny it.

6. Tea is a wonderful method of hydration. Tears are a wonderful method of dehydration. Balance, my darlings.

7. Stare at yourself in the mirror. Stare for hours—or maybe it will be only seconds. Stare, face lit by candlelight and stars, until your reflection whispers declarations of love to you instead of declarations of war.

8. Reading increases neuroplasticity. It also increases an optional knowledge of dead languages, forensic science, the blue-ringed octopus, Harry Potter’s favorite dessert, and why Orion Lake was not made for a deadly boarding school. Read late into the night; that isn’t particularly healthy, but, like I said, balance.

9. Lay in the sun for ten minutes each day. You are now a cat; watch the birds with lethal curiosity; stretch with all the laziness in the world. Vitamin D is good for you, and so is contemplating the simple needs of all living creatures.

10. Eat fruits and cheeses; bread and honey. You are a Greek muse. You dine in the halls of Olympus. Somewhere in the distance, Apollo plays his lyre. You want to sit here, in this stunning palace in the great wide sky, forever. You also want your daily intake of vitamins and minerals.