ça m'est égal

hiked my ass all the way up to the hollywood sign. had a little help with my pups from batman and ella, who i had to run after a few times…they don’t make a hike easy but they do at the same time. at least my apple watch wasn’t yelling at me to ‘close all my rings’ today. 

I’ve done that once or twice and it’s honestly quite awful with the sun and everything. Luckily there’s not as much humidity so it’s bearable, but there’s typically quite a few people and depending on the trail, it can get crowded easily. Though I do imagine having some dogs as company would make it a bit better. I'm assuming you don't hike like this often then? 

Alright, I’ve got a question for everyone: What are your go-to things to do when you’re bored? I’ve got some time off coming up soon and I’m wondering if I need to pick up new hobbies or something of the sort so I don’t go too stir crazy. Throw your ideas at me. @audererp·

I tend to do a lot of reading, but I suppose that’s a quite boring answer, isn’t it? Perhaps you can find something to do outside whether that’s running, biking, things like that. Things that keep you in shape and are enjoyable as well. I should ask what you do now. I suppose need to know what you do now before I can suggest something new.

Asking me to come with you to IKEA now are you, Oliver? Is this some sort of IKEA date? If so, then I am definitely in – so long as you’re aware you may be stuck there for quite some time with me because it’s nearly impossible to get me to leave. We will be lucky if we even leave with the curtain brackets you went in for. Though I definitely don’t mind getting lost and distracted with you.

We can certainly call it a date if you’d like... I’d like to call it that anyway. Doesn’t IKEA have a café as well? We can stroll around a bit, grab a coffee or something, and continue to get lost. And it’s quite alright if we don’t have the brackets; I’ve not even got curtains to put up. It was mainly just an excuse to get you to come to IKEA with me as part of my big evil plot to ask you out.

that’s okay, i’ve made my peace with never actually finding out the true meaning behind this dream by now. unfortunately, i have to report that i take it a little to heart, not even going to lie. that dream felt way too real. if you happen to have leo’s contact info, please share it with me, so that i can discuss that dream with him. a giant demon made of lightning ? that’s crazy. did you try to find out the meaning behind it ? are you scared of holes ? do you think that giant demon could be someone you’ve had trouble with recently ? i have so many questions.

If I did, I would certainly share with you, but unfortunately I’ve never gotten the chance to meet him. Though I’m sure he would love to hear this dream. I’m not quite sure, but it was strange and abrupt. It could just be symbolism for something subconscious as dreams typically are. Hopefully it’s not reoccurring because it was overall just very intense. Generally, it’s strange how our consciousness manifests our stresses and such into dreams that way.

I just want to talk about IKEA for a moment (I know, the girl from Midsommar is going on about something Swedish, how ironic) but I want to tell you, or rather, express just how much I love this store? I spent…I want to say at least three to four hours walking around IKEA and taking photos as if it was a museum. How on earth can I get my home to look like one of their displays? Also, the fake windows they have for the bedrooms?! Seriously, it’s a fun house for adults and I’m in love. Is there any store you frequent that you could spend hours in? Let’s gush about it.

@audererp·

It sounds like a lovely workout. Speaking of windows, I’ve honestly got to take a trip there myself as I’ve been meaning to buy curtain brackets for the longest time. I’m almost certain I could get them just about anywhere else, but IKEA has a certain allure to it, as you know. Would you mind coming to be my guide? I’m just a touch nervous that I’ll either get lost or distracted and it would be lovely to have a partner with me, especially someone as obviously seasoned in the land of IKEA as you are. Even if we still get lost and distracted, we'll be lost and distracted together.

I say we take you in and see what they can do, chances are they’ll say no but it doesn’t hurt to try right? Also don’t be ridiculous, I’m almost positive you have girls lining down the block to even get a chance to talk to you. I’m glad that’s how you’ll spend the night though because I promise it’s worth it. Some of the puppers even fall asleep mid haircut, it’s the cutest thing ever.

Well, let’s at least start off on a positive foot. Perhaps they may say yes after all. You’re not the first one to have said that... I honestly wish I knew where these ladies were. That sounds incredibly adorable, but also like a very bad idea now that I think about it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to deny myself a pup after this. Let’s hope I don’t end up adopting.

So I made a decision to eat better, you know? When you’re up at night and think “man, I need to really watch my eating.” So I did the works, meal prepped, ordered some online delivery thing where they send you fresh vegetables and fruit so I could make sure I get it all, then literally two hours later I napped on the couch and ordered uber eats, so I guess my willpower is pretty shitty, if you ask me. I guess Bart and Homer Simpson were right, you don’t make friends with salad. @audererp​

I think you’ve just described half of the world’s New Years resolutions. Perhaps you’re just a bit late to the game with nearly half the year being over and all. It’s never too late to try again! You could start off with food that isn’t particularly healthy, but not bad for you either. Something simple, inexpensive, and more enticing than a salad since that doesn’t seem to be your favourite thing. That, or just keep on taking care of yourself otherwise. I’ve heard it truly doesn’t matter what you eat as long as you don’t eat excessive amounts of it paired with a bit of exercise.

so, the other night i had the weirdest dream ever. i was on the titanic with jack aka leo dicaprio. i think i was rose, at least that’s what he called me. and it was all fun and games. but let’s fast forward to the weird part. the titanic never collided with an iceberg. instead, jack aka leo told me he loved me and then suddenly pushed me off the ship with an evil laugh. i woke up heartbroken. is anyone here a trained dream interpreter and can tell me the meaning behind all of this ? i’ll pay you in a bottle of tequila or some pasta. am i the only one who has weird dreams like that ? @audererp​

Unfortunately, I’ve got to report I’m clueless as I’ve got literally no idea what this could mean, but it definitely would have been an interesting twist to the actual film. Hopefully you don't take it to heart as I'm sure Jack wouldn't ever actually push you off the ship. Hypothetically, of course. You’re far from the only one that has strange dreams like that though. I’ve just had one the other night that involved driving my car into a hole in the Earth guarded by a giant demon made of lightning. I think that subconciously may mean something slightly more concerning than your Titanic dream does anyway.

So I was laying around recently (definitely not procrastinating) and I fell into one of those youtube holes where you stumble upon one video and just keeping clicking and clicking into the next recommended video on the sidebar; And I somehow ended up watching videos of these dog groomers in Korea…and when I tell you I almost died of cuteness overload… Oh my god. Where do I even begin? Okay, I need to somehow convince you to look these up. First things first, they give these dogs little massages and theraputic baths, okay? Following me? Then they cover the dog in bubbles and blow dry them till their little puffballs. Just pure fluff. I can’t even continue, I’m getting emotional just thinking about it. Do me a huge solid and look this up, it’s so worth it.

@audererp​

Sounds like a perfectly relaxing day if you ask me. Korean culture has a way of making literally anything adorable and these dog groomers sound like absolutely no exception. Massages and bubbles? They’re treated better than I treat myself and some would argue I’ve got about the same amount of body hair as a dog. A whole lot less cute than them though, I will say. Maybe I can take a few tips from the groomers when I inevitably fall into this same Youtube hole as this will surely be how I spend the remainder of my night.

Okay, I want to address the chicken nugget microwave controversy. Yes, chicken nuggets in the oven are crispier and maybe a little bit better but I say microwaves do just as good. For people like me, with no patience at all, it’s the only way to get the fix. I do have to say though, I definitely suck at making noodles too….I let them sit for way too long. 

Besides radiation, which is hardly a side effect, yes. They work just as well, especially if you pop them in the toaster oven for a moment after to get that crunch. I can’t say that’s even a problem, is it? I despise al dente noodles, but some people absolutely adore their hard...ness? Well, regardless, I think there are even simpler options than that for you. Maybe... Microwaved rice and vegetables? That’s hardly a challenge.

Oh, and absolutely awful pair, I have no doubt in my mind about that in the slightest. Constantly forgetting things, somehow ending up in various parking lots and wondering why we are there, it will be a proper mess. I think we can both make a texting program of one another….I’ll just have to set an alarm to remind myself to remind you for something….Makes sense right?

Or... being together would encourage one of us to get our shit together for the other. We wouldn’t really know how it’d go unless we tried. Alarms may work, but to be fair, I didn’t think that too far through. We would have to remember to text one another as well... Either we’re both helpless, or we try our hand at the partner thing. Who knows? It could benefit us both. Besides, I'd hardly mind having you around all the time.

Weird. Do you fall asleep and forget ? Because that’s a reasonable excuse to leave the water running. Well, that or you’re just too busy. Which is also fair enough. I wouldn’t say you’re a total lost cause, though. You just need to work at creating some new habits. Like sticking your list onto the fridge or somewhere in plain sight. Or maybe you should just hire a personal assistant or something ? That might solve all your problems !

It’s not even that, really. I’ll just simply forget I’ve started the bath. Though, to be fair, those were two very isolated instances and it’s not something I do often. Building positive habits are very important, but I am awful at it. It’s quite strange as I’m usually a pretty put-together person, but at least lately, that’s not the case. I’m almost too prideful for an assistant in my every day life though. So I suppose I’ll just take the title of lost cause and move on.

Flooded the house? It’s a good thing you live there instead of an apartment because I’m sure your downstairs neighbors would absolutely love you. I mean, prioritizing helps. If something’s still going to be there after you take a bath or whatever else, nothing wrong with leaving it until after then. Or trying to because I know sometimes that knee jerk reaction is hard to brush off. Otherwise, I’d say setting alarms on your phone for different tasks might help, as long as you don’t forget to do that too. 

Prioritising would be a lovely option... I think what its come to is that tasks do get more daunting if I’ve got them on any kind of list, even mental. It's entirely strange, but I try not to pressure myself as much anyway. Alarms though, I haven’t tried yet, so that may be a very viable option. Hopefully no more near floods anytime in the future.

Oh, honey — multiple whiteboards spread across several rooms? We really need to figure out a method that’ll work for you, that won’t require to dish out money on something that may not work. Or we can blame it on old age, and hope that there’s no more regression for, at least… fifty years. Maybe I should fly my mom in from Texas, get her as a live-in mom ‘til you get your shit together. I’ll even tell her that you’d be open to an ass-whooping. I’m sure we can make it work.

It really is that awful. I mean, that sounds like a proper excuse not to actually do anything about this. I fear if I regress anymore, I’ll become near caveman. Totally animalistic at that point since I can be pretty primal as is. Your mum would be absolutely lovely, if you could. Probably better than any assistant I could hire.

Yeah, that’s kind of why I haven’t tried it. I would probably just start singing and dancing around instead of doing the task at hand. Maybe they meant more like classical music or something. I don’t know. Maybe you just need to find something that you’re really excited about doing and use that as an incentive for doing the crappy tasks. But that would be great, thanks!

Exactly! It honestly seems quite impossible. Classical could be the answer, but I find, in moments of absolute focus, that I need silence. Incentive could be is an option, if I remembered what I incentivised myself with...? Surely that’s not a word. I’ll let you know if anything works though, I’m sure we may both be lost causes but that’s not always a terrible thing, is it?

Yup, I’ve done the phone thing, too. Surprised I’m not doing it right now whilst talking to you on it. Could you imagine the irony? You’re right about the cat videos, tho. And the dog, hamster, guinea pig, donkey, (insert a hundred more), videos too. Plus, it’s impossible to watch just one clip on YouTube! If you don’t catch your reflection 4 hours later and question life – then you’re doing it wrong.

If that was the case, I’d be awfully worried for you. Guinea pig though? I’ve yet to see that with my own eyes, so send it over when you’ve got the chance. I’m always willing to stimulate my brain with more adorable animals. Though, as you said, we both know I’ll end up in a deep and dark hole that’s got nothing to actually do with guinea pigs by the end of it.

Oh, come on, someone who looks like you has trouble getting a girlfriend? I don’t buy that. I bet there’s twelve women right now trying to get at you but you’re playing hard to get or something. You could have twelve assistants if you wanted. It sounds like you need that money if you’re flooding your apartment that often.

If you’re so sure of these twelve women, I’d love to be introduced. Twelve assistants sounds awfully expensive though. It may be worth well over a flooded apartment. Though, it might be what I've got to do, or else I’m truly just a lost cause at this point.