angela

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Thank god someone said it! I thought I was the only one who realized this!

Some common (and not-so-common) signs of emotional cheating and some of the key things that apply to El/Mike/Will dynamic:

They seem to have given up on facing and resolving issues with you.

Mike cannot fix his own issues with El, and he doesn't face them or resolve them. He runs to Will instead to seek comfort and support and becomes emotionally dependent on him.

2. The relationship with this outside person acts as an "exit" from connection with you.

The fact that Mike ends up in Will's comfort whenever he cannot deal with his problems with El says a lot

3. Your partner tells the outside person things that they don't even tell you.

Literally Mike. All. The. Fucking. Time. He never speaks to El in an emotional sense, he never opens up to her. He only has heart to heart anda genuine connection with Will and he literally tells him everything. Even the things he doesnt say to El about his own relationship problems with El...

4. They're more irritable toward you after connecting with the outside person.

This one is ironic because Mike does this to both El and Will. He gets annoyed at El and becomes irritable, and never apologizes. When he argues with Will and becomes irritable, he always ends up apologizing. What does this say about their dynamic?

5. They have a hard time tolerating brief periods of frustration, loneliness, or emotional discomfort within your relationship.

Literally Mike and El's relationship: he becomes frustrated with El and he cannot tolerate her lashing out or the problems in their relationship. He seeks emotional comfort in Will instead.

6. They often/always turn to the outside person for comfort when you're unavailable.

ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. Mike literally only seeks comfort in Will. Always.

7. They seem to connect with the outside person more often after unresolved conflicts with you.

AGAIN... All the time. Mike's unresolved conflicts with El... and the fact that he seems to connect with the outside person more often (aka Will).

8. They've been increasing the frequency of connection with the outside person.

S4 Text Book of Will/Mike's dynamic. The fact that they had multiple heart-to-heart convos and even after Mike's supposed ''huge monologue'' Mike and Will are shown to be close and Mike and El don't even show to talk.

9. They drop hints that they wish you were more like the outside person.

He may as well as have dropped hints tbh.

10. There are gift exchanges between them and the outside person.

Mike and El's ''letter exchanges'' are full of lies: El's always lying to Mike and never being truthful with him. Mike's never signing ''ily'' in his letters. In contrast to Will's painting gift to Mike and the fact that Mike got inspired by it...

11. They seem more detached from you after connecting with the outside person.

Mike bait-switches between Will and El. He only can connect with one person truly.

13. They've stopped expressing their needs.

Yeah. Because Mike never even talks to El about what he truly wants anyways.

14. They've stopped communicating with you about deeper issues.

Textbook of Mike Wheeler. He never communicates with El about his deeper issues. He, once again, runs to Will instead.

Thanks for the ask anon! I do appreciate the extra signs of Mike's flawed behavior.

Mike def doesn't trust El with his actual deeper and insecure feelings like he does with Will, it's obvious. The whole point of a relationship is emotional connection, so it's kind of painful to watch El put faith in Mike and Mike can't reciprocate despite being oh so in love with her.

For your number 9 point, I can see Mike wishing El was more like Will considering in the ST canon universe many characters highlight how much El and Will get mistaken for each other in S1, at least with El's hair shaven off. Or how El couldn't finish the sentence Mike was saying in S3 "you know what they say blank makes you crazy" and she just looks at him confused/awkwardly. Their convos don't go as smoothly as his convos with Will.