5HINee

i’ve been trying to figure out the right words to say for this post but, really, it doesn’t matter because what can be said that already hasn’t been? i began writing it before the confirmation from sm as something generalized, as a way to tell shawols to lean on each other during this difficult time and that much is going to get obvious as you make your way through to the end. this isn’t going to be eloquent because i’m still in shock. not in denial but shock and i feel like i’ll never be able to properly express what jonghyun not only meant to me but to all shawols and every fan of korean pop. 

jonghyun was a special person. he was kind and compassionate and he always did his best to make sure that those around him were happy, no matter who it was. he wasn’t perfect but he always went out of his way to fix anything he did wrong and he was constantly trying to better himself. he was always growing and learning. he fought for people who do not have as much of a voice in korea like the lgbt community and those in poverty. he dedicated his life to doing good and making shawols and those who loved him happy and proud. he gave so much to us and he never hid that he was struggling. he gave us so much in the last nine years and we can give back to him by keeping his memory intact in the way that he would have wanted us to: by supporting the other members, by supporting those closest to him, by remembering his music and by remembering the time that he spent with shinee. he fought hard and he did well and that’s what i’m going to be left with, despite the massive ache that i feel in my chest. i don’t know what else to write to justify him or how great of a person he was so i’ll leave it at that.

please keep his mother, older sister, jinki, kibum, minho and taemin in your thoughts along with all the other people that he is closest to. this is difficult for us but it’s just as difficult for them. please refrain from leaving anything but caring and supportive messages on their social networking accounts, if you leave any at all. 

as i said in my earlier post: i don’t really know what to say right now. i’m still in shock but i want everyone to know that we’re all in this together. i ask everyone to please take some time for themselves in the midst of all of this. please take care of yourself and those around you - whether it be simply talking to them or hugging them if you’re physically able to. also remember that if you need to take some time away from everything this is nothing wrong with that. you need to keep yours. i’m not going to close or delete this blog. i’m always going to be a fan of shinee. i’m just don’t feel right posting content on here when we’re all going to be in mourning. so, for the time being it’s on indefinite hiatus but it’ll always be around as a archive and as dedication to his life.

#HappyOnewDay

#WeLoveOnew

first. it was his brightest smile that you’ll notice

second. you wont be able to resist his weirdness, his antics, his tricks, old gags and his overall positive aura

third. his beautiful gentle voice would reach your soul and would make you feel his passion for music and singing

and then you’ll get to see lee jinki. the boy who dreamed of singing in front of many people. the person who said that even if there’s only 10 people left, he would still be thankful as long as he gets to sing for them. that leader of shinee who comforts a crying member first even if he’s also at the verge of crying. the kind hearted person who only wants his group to be a good example to many youth. that person who sometimes find it hard to express himself in words but we get to see who he really is through his actions anyways.

may he find healing and peace of mind amidst everything. as someone who follows him through the years, i only wanted him to be genuinely happy and to find fulfillment and contentment in everything that he’s doing and will continue to do.

may he never again think that he needs to do something to be worthy to be a part of SHINee as what he said on his letter. he has already been doing so much for the past years. you don’t need to prove anything anymore jinki. You are SHINee. The five of you are a part of that whole.  Forever and Always.

thank you for being born. you are loved - never ever forget that.