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trying to embarrass me is so unnecessary i do it to myself just fine

Simon Cowell is so rich why does it feel like he only owns white shirts from Walmart

why dont you get a notification like “this user answered your ask”

❤

Emma Thompson probably has an easy answer to all your existential questions.

that awesome moment when you finished reading a really good book and you see it at a store then you cunningly smile at it as if you had an affair with it.

#then you hover around it for a while #maybe stroke it #read the blurb

The horrifying thing is that this is true.

birds are lucky because they get to attend concerts for free

i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE