Passing time & Learning life

Get your money. 

Write your book. 

TRAVEL!!!! 

Have kids in your 30s if you want them, see the World first. 

Make a vision board and put EVERYTHING you want to have and touch in this lifetime on it. 

Make an annual goal list and demolish that shit. 

Don’t take dating in your 20s seriously, 32 year old you might not fuck with the same partner energy and/or qualities as 24 year old you. 

Apply to jobs you don’t feel qualified for. 

Buy lots of sex toys. 

Take yourself on bomb ass dates.

Take your friend(s) on bomb ass dates, movie nights and spa days.

Do something once a year to get your heart racing.

Race a car!

Learn how to shoot a gun and then buy one. 

Invest in a lifestyle that encourages your impossible dreams. 

Get rid of friends that are not growing with you. 

Learn to say no and communicate with people to tell them you don’t fuck with them. 

Be selfish.

Live by yourself at least one year before you move in with a partner and/or get married. You will save yourself so many lessons by living alone first. 

Tell people when you don’t have an orgasm. 

But even if you don’t…

So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem.

So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.

So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.

This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner. 

So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.

Vegan dark chocolate pots four ways

Rich and indulgent, these dark chocolate pots made with just a few simple ingredients can be customised to suit your own personal taste. 

may is officially one week away, which means my summer is getting started a little earlier this year with …

!!!

over the next three months, i have some really important language goals to hit before starting graduate school [and losing much of my self-study time]. so, what better way to ensure i reach those goals than creating a challenge!

🥞 to be a member of The Fifty Hours Club:

choose a target language [or two!]

determine at least one goal to work towards over 50 hours.

send an ask to let me know you’re interested [and if you would like to be a part of a discord server for this!]

🍒 ways to get your hours climbing:

making vocabulary lists with your own sample sentences taking notes on grammar structures keeping a language journal watching movies / tv shows and writing down the vocabulary speaking with or messaging someone in your target language studying one of your target languages with another target language through a course doing flashcards breaking down lyrics of a song listening to podcasts and more!

for me, i have two target languages [spanish, and japanese], and three goals per language. i’ll commit to 50 hours between the both of them, and by the end of this challenge, i should have 150 hours logged of study time!

if you want to join this challenge and post on tumblr about it, please use the tag #fiftyhoursclub so that i can reblog your progress posts!

A Guide to Audio Journaling

This past month (or longer, I think) I switched from regular, written journaling to audio journaling, and I thought it’d be great to share my experience: the practice, what I actually do, why I do it, and some things to think about if you wanna try it out.

I keep all my audio journals on the voice memos app on my phone, but if any of you know an alternate platform to do so, feel free to share!

A house full of golden retrievers. That would be heavenly. Would take them all with open arms. 12/10 for all doggos.

Challenge accepted

I should leave my response at that, but I’ll explain, because I’m in a humorous mood. I meant the people in charge of the project aka the Directors/Producers/Whoever. When you hire or cast a Black Actress or Actor the common sense thing to do would be to make sure you have a team that KNOWS how to do Black Hair and Makeup.