oh my god

Physically, I may be here. But mentally I am in a small coastal village in New England, it's late afternoon in autumn and I am wearing a flannel and drinking apple cider. I'm sitting on my back porch, surrounded by trees, and the only sound is the faint sound of the waves crashing onto the shore in the distance.

Hey you know that really disturbing thing where you yawn and your salivary gland shoots a concentrated spray of saliva out of one of its horrid nozzles like you’re a venom spitting snake for some godawful reason

this is the most distressing post ive ever read because not only have i never once seen or even heard of this but there are dozens of people in the notes reaffirming it with shit like “yeah i do that all the time” “i had a friend who could do this on command” what the real, genuine fucking fuck

me about me: when is she gonna stop …………..isn’t she tired..

I

yes! that is exactly wjat i was going for!