♡your smile is my drug♡

I mean, why does it make me dream about him almost every night? And when I do then why do these dreams become a little bit more than they should? That is, it's never a normal teacher-student relation with simply "hello" and talks, it always gets a little bit more personal, more intimate (but never an erotic kind of stuff) - I hold him, I lay my head on his shoulder, I kiss him on his cheek and he does the same to me, we hold hands. It's always more than it should be and when I wake up it makes me feel so sad, some kind of empty because I know that's not gonna happen in real life, because I haven't met him for such a long, long time, because I miss him so freaking much and I really want to see him again. Those dreams are lovely anyway. Even though they hurt. They hurt but make me feel good. And I just need an explanation from my brain why he does this to me... is it me missing my TC so damn much without clearly realizing it on a daily basis or is it him missing me... because you know what they say, huh? When someone's missing you, they appear in your dreams... the question is whether I should believe it or not. And the last night's dream was me going home in train, seeing him in there before going into the train, deciding to sit next to him, talking with him a little and then laying my head on his shoulder and holding hands, feeling so calm, good and safe. And then there was my mom sitting two seats away from me and him. Explain it, brain, explain!