the infamous man-assed muscle beast of ohio spotted again
please don’t joke about this it’s the first really popular cryptid in my state in a long time and last night it stood on my roof and showed me its man ass
please tell me everything. im cataloging sightings of the ohio assman
the locations vary which means he’s either supernatural or capable of moving very fast but the sightings are largely the same. he appears to people when they’re alone, mostly at night. I heard of a girl in milford who said she saw him behind a dennys in the afternoon but I don’t think it’s true. anyway when he appears to people he is facing them, but nobody can ever describe his face or really anything above the waist. people say that they KNOW he has a body but when they try to remember anything other than his powerful quads and man ass they just…can’t. after he knows that you see him, he turns around, displaying the thighs and calves of a bodybuilder, and the ass of a man. after this it’s pretty unclear what happens, or why he leaves, but he either vanishes or runs away, depending on who you ask. I don’t really want to say he’s been “terrorizing” us because really, he’s just showing us the lower body of someone who can 4 plate squat 5 reps a set, and the ass of a man, and it’s not terribly inconvenient. really it’s just a topic of conversation you bring up to be pleasant. in Ohio when we’re done talking about the weather the next choice is “seen the Assman lately?” and surprisingly? a lot of people have.
@jessiphile
