were(dog) abigail and her magical expanding highlights that may or may not be a convenient way to accord her design with her human form and also create a visual ambiguity of her hair and blood stains
spent ages thinking of how i wanted to werewolfise the counselors and ive settled on weredogification. i wanna make there werewolves look unique to each counselor without just yanno making them look more like the human counselor. im feeling irish wolfhound to match abi's curls
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hi folks, it's been a while! i've been real busy with a LOT of life stuff: going back to school, getting into an art school at that (farewell joint degree in psych and sociology, i'll never forget you...), moving out and away for the first time, a very new and stressful (but good!) social life, and i figured that was a little too relaxing for me so i picked up a few latent psychiatric afflictions and a red bull before getting to the checkout.
in terms of me keeping up to date with this blog in future it'll be slow going. i'm still getting the hang of managing life with all of that in mind, but i'm doing pretty well all things considered. and from that, i reckon i've got it in me to engage online and put out a lil drawing every now and then :)
on that note i've noticed and seen all the stuff yall have been commenting on my posts as i've been gone and i want to say thank you so so much ππππ like seriously, i'm so glad and thankful that i'm able to make something that people can find cool and fun and inspiring! it makes me grateful that my art blog experience gets to have such a kind and supportive space / community, and thinking on those kind words was a big part of why i wanted to come back here and start posting again. i'll be seeing you guys soon! <3
LOVING this bonus content bc the difference btwn her drawing other counselors and nick is soo stark like. everyone else here is drawn pretty quickly and with relatively blunt pencils / large lines which are more forgiving in showing close details (in that they kinda cant lol) and otherwise these studies seem to be mostly rough sketches to capture some form and play with style. you can see the loose parallel hatching she just kinda slaps on after laying down her lines, like thats something you can scratch out in like an hour.
and then nick is literally the opposite like thats not the page of someone who wanted to improve their art skills with some quick summer camp studies thats the page of someone who wanted a nice picture of nick in her journal πππ like everything from the way thinner lines meaning sharper pencils meaning constant resharpening, the way bigger and smoother range of tone from white to nearly black (consider jacobs page whos basically three tones of grey, slightly darker grey, and white) and given her note of starting with light shadows and lightly layering them repeatedly to create depth means even more time and more pencil shavings, the facial muscle groups, the soft lighting vs the hard cast lighting that literally everyone else has, the contour shading, the damn hair curls with individual strands??? like that nick page could be like 4-5 hours of work IF shes a quick drawer. and not to mention that her book's quite small, which means she needs to be *really* precise and controlled with her markmaking to make something like that. it also means that she's almost certainly found several occasions to pull out her sketchbook with nick around and to draw him so accurately from reference.
though the two poses of nick on an armchair writing or drawing on something makes me think she probably got a lot of that art done at some event in the lodge? maybe during the counselors' downtime or in one of the fun groupy events in the timetable. either way shes down disastrous to be drawing her crush like that in her sketchbook cough been there though cough
So Iβm drafting away, sketching out everyoneβs lingering regrets and thinking Dylan probably would feel pretty shitty about suggesting that party. But, objectively, would it actually have been any better to stay inside?
Given that we know the werewolves can track them by scent, if they'd all congregated inside that would have been a pretty obvious place for Kaylee, Caleb, and Silas to all end up. Because they'd be inside, the counselors wouldn't have had the gun from the storeroom (because who plays with guns indoors? hopefully no one.) and the one from Mr. H's office would take a minute to go get, being behind a locked door and all. Imagine one of the werewolves coming down the chimney, absolute pandemonium, everyone runs for the door... two more werewolves outside. I think staying in the lodge would actually have been a complete bloodbath and they benefited from being outside where they could scatter.
Of course, it also would have made for a very boring video game, but that's not what we're focused on here.
1. Three ships: Rylan my beloved they do no wrong. theyre the epitome of awkward bashful and honest gay summer teen romance with the perfect contrasting note of horrific life threatening monsters which is unsurpassable genre peak. and yeah ngl its pretty rare that i get behind a ship but two others i can think of are amity/luz from the owl house (but mostly in season 1 because they do cute anxious crushing stuff and after that they just kind of turn into supportive gf A and supportive gf B), and legosi/louis from beastars because how do you just gloss over neurotic homophobe slut ptsd theatre twink x weird brooding puritan loser freudian pervert and the fact that it does WORK too like hello
2. First ever ship: i wanna say gregg and angus from night in the woods?? i remember i was in that weird sexual orientation puberty where you literally know you're gay but it's not like a consciously meaningful part of your identity so i remember seeing them and thinking wow that's cool that they're boyfriends i guess idk. also i'm inexorably drawn to their existence for some reason and my lockscreen is them cuddling with the lazy morning light peeking through the curtains
3. Last song: My Kink is Karma - Chappell Roan, im a sucker for moody electronic pop and that album DELIVERS
4. Last film: i watched the first three movies in a pirates of the caribbean marathon with some friends which ngl after the first one feels like trying to suck sugar water out of a sock πΆ the last film i personally chose to watch was the 1976 Carrie! it was nice being able to watch it and appreciate it as an adult with an education and not a teen recluse going "yeah carrie you show those villain highschoolers what's what"
5. Currently (re)reading: Shakespeare's Twelfth Night! i have my old copy from highschool open next to me and the 2012 shakespeare's globe production up and i just sit and sift between watching and reading and analysing it, just like when i first learned it in class. i'm not really sure why i wanted to reread it again in the first place, but i find it kind of soothing to read older texts where the language and culture's a little ways off from its modern successors. i find it calming to kind of pull those stories back in a way we can understand with its old contexts and writing, and see more and more of that timeless human experience shine through. sudoku for english nerds i guess LOL
6. Currently watching: my watcher's stamina has actually gotten so shit im ngl like i actually haven't watched a show in months πππ the last show i watched was bluey (which was pretty good! (and pretty indicative of the kind of attention span ive got these days ππ))
7. Currently consuming: this horrible like nutraloaf nightmare bowl i made because my appetite was really poor today and at 5 pm or so i was like ugh well id better eat something quick and dense if im not gonna have a proper meal so i insulted God and put together reheated smashed potato (in the microwave so they lost all their crunch and flavour) + dried roasted edamame beans + peanut butter + regular butter + cheddar + yoghurt + whole salted almonds in a bowl and had a slice of walnut fig cake as a side. that thing needed a censor bar like i was in the trenches trying to get that down im ngl. eating that meal took more energy out of me than what it gave back like i knew i made something unholy and then immediately paid for it like it was so frankenstein and his monster right there on that kitchen counter
8. Currently craving: literally anything after that like god damn πππππ otherwise ive been hankering for a good chana masala and naan combo cus there's literally never a day where i'll turn south asian cuisine down like aw man i shouldve just gone out and got some of that to eat today ugh god damn it
also im ngl i don't really know who to tag cus i only started having a presence on tumblr like barely a month ago and ive only meaningfully interacted with like 3 people since then so um!! whoever's out there lurking around on my blog if ya wanna participate feel free! and either way, thanks for readin my ramblings regardless :)
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Sitting at the bonfire with a beer in her hand, Kaitlyn knew sheβd brought this on herself.
She was the one whoβd mentioned making people kiss when Dylan started this idiotic game and the suggestion almost immediately came back to bite her. Sheβd never seen karma work quite so fast. Sheβd been thinking about Emma and Jacob and Abi and Nick when sheβd asked the question. She hadnβt even considered that the rest of the circleβherself, Dylan, and Ryanβmight be caught up in the sinister machinations sheβd set into motion. Hoisted by her own petard, as they said in the cartoons. What the fuck was a petard, anyway? Sheβd look it up if she had service but since her phone was still just a dumb brick, it would have to wait.
βββββββββββ
Because every teenage love triangle needs its hypotenuse, this is the third and final campfire flashback I wrote for Particles & Waves.
I had intended to post this as a preview but I ended up finishing it and Chapter 3 at the same time, so I'm just including it as an excerpt here for balance.
βββββββββββ
In another room, another pair of officers was interviewing Kaitlyn under the attempted supervision of her lawyer.
βIβm going to say this one more time, slowly, so you idiots can understand,β Kaitlyn began. Her lawyer, Ms. Rodriguez, a brown-haired woman in cat-eye glasses who looked like the stereotype of a librarian from the β60s, was sighing and rubbing her temples. Sheβd advised her client not to be combative with the investigators, but Ms. Ka couldnβt seem to manage that.
βYes, I shot Caleb Hackett,β Kaitlyn said, emphatically, βIf I had another chance to make the decision, Iβd shoot him again. I have no regrets whatsoever because it was him or me. He wasnβt acting like himself, he was a fucking monster! He ran straight at me like a maniac! Watch the tapes! I took a fucking video on my phone of him turning back into a person. I donβt know how I can make this any clearer.β
βAll right Ms. Ka, weβve got your statement on that, youβve been very consistent. Weβll review those tapes and the video footage for sure. Letβs talk about something else for a minute. Would you characterize your relationship with Ryan Erzahler and Dylan Lenivy as a love triangle?β
Kaitlyn laughed out loud at this. βNo, I was not in aΒ love triangleΒ with Ryan and Dylan, but thatβs hilarious. What do you think this is, a YA novel?β
And that was the exact moment when the lights flickered out.
βββββββββββ
Sitting at the bonfire with a beer in her hand, Kaitlyn knew sheβd brought this on herself.
She was the one whoβd mentioned making people kiss when Dylan started this idiotic game and the suggestion almost immediately came back to bite her. Sheβd never seen karma work quite so fast. Sheβd been thinking about Emma and Jacob and Abi and Nick when sheβd asked the question. She hadnβt even considered that the rest of the circleβherself, Dylan, and Ryanβmight be caught up in the sinister machinations sheβd set into motion. Hoisted by her own petard, as they said in the cartoons. What the fuck was a petard, anyway? Sheβd look it up if she had service but since her phone was still just a dumb brick, it would have to wait.
Kaitlyn might have started with Abi herself if Dylan hadnβt pounced on her first thing. She figured Dylan wanted to get Abi to kiss Nick but he should have known sheβd pick truth instead of dare. Abi was such a timid little bunny rabbit of a girl, sheβd probably never taken a dare in her life. But what had Dylan been thinking asking about her sex life? Surely he knew that well would be dry (you know, not that there was anything wrong with that). What could be the point of exposing her like that? Did he think Nick had a thing for virgins? (Wait,Β didΒ Nick have a thing for virgins? She really hoped not because that would be pretty fucking gross.) Maybe Dylan actually thought Abi and Nick had slept together already and Nick was keeping it a secret from him, which would have been pretty funny since Kaitlyn figured neither of them would take the initiative, like, ever. Dylan had to very obviously nudge Nick into getting Abiβs bag for her earlier despite how equally obvious she had been in looking to him for help. If Dylan hadnβt yet resorted to physically nudging Nick all the way into Abiβs bed, he should have known damn well that they had not yet consummated their love.
Anyway, Dylan shouldnβt have wasted his turn on Abi, he should have cut to the chase and chosen Ryan, found out who he had a crush on if he chose truth, or dared Ryan to kiss him. Thatβs what this was really about, after all, wasnβt it? But then Kaitlyn reminded herself that the laid-back, confident exterior wasnβt all there was to Dylan. He was probably terrified that Ryan might turn him down, in front of everyone, and she couldnβt exactly blame him there. They still hadnβt figured out if Ryan liked guys or girls, or both, or even neither. He could be so hard to read. It was a frequent topic of conversation during their gossip sessions in the radio hut.
Then Emma had taken Abiβs turn and drawn Kaitlyn into this mess, where sheβd never asked to be. She had chosen Ryan, and Ryan had picked dare.
βI dare you to kiss either Kaitlynβ¦ or Dylan.β
Kaitlyn had involuntarily smiled a little when Emma said her name, but she felt the corners of her mouth dropping when sheβd said Dylanβs. She didnβt even have to look to her left to know that her friend was spiraling into a proper four-alarm gay panic, she couldΒ feelΒ the nervous energy radiating off of him from where she was sitting. Dylan had been crushing hard on Ryan all summer and theyβd tried to determine if the feeling was mutual, to no avail. Ryan had caught Kaitlynβs eye too, especially early on, but sheβd backed off some when she realized how invested Dylan was. She just had a casual appreciation for the stoic sailing instructorβs looks and brooding demeanor, but Dylan hadΒ feelingsΒ for Ryan. She had no intention of standing in the way of that, not if there was any chance that Ryan would reciprocate. But now the choice was out of her hands and she felt uneasy about it. If Ryan picked her, would Dylan be upset with her? She knew that would be a little irrational of him if he was, but feelings often broke with rationality especially where love was concerned. And anyway, whether Dylan blamed her or not, heβd be hurt, and she really didnβt want him to get hurt.
Dylan and Kaitlyn were what you might call work spouses. It was convenient that they enjoyed each otherβs company so much because theyβd had to work together a lot, with Kaitlyn coordinating activities and Dylan doing all the scheduling. Dylan had picked up quite a bit of slack for her in the activities department, too, because sheβd been doing what should have been Lauraβs job at the nurseβs station as well as her own. Heβd even covered for her with Mr. H when she fucked up and double-booked the arts and crafts cabin one rainy afternoon and took the extra group of kids to the lodge to write letters home when he should have been taking a well-earned break. They werenβt just coworkers, they were friends. If most of the other counselors had seemed like single-serving friends to Kaitlyn, Dylan had seemed like the take-home kind of friend. Sheβd go so far as to say they were becoming best friends. They were committed to colleges a couple of hours from each other, but they already had plans for after camp, to meet up on the weekends and go to gay bars. Theyβd even talked about maybe sharing an apartment in the city for the next summer instead of moving back home, if they decided not to re-apply to be counselors.
It occurred to Kaitlyn that sheβd never been less excited at the prospect of a handsome man maybe wanting to kiss her, and she struggled to imagine how she might have felt about Ryan without the complication that was Dylan. Because she did like Ryan, but sheΒ lovedΒ Dylan, and Dylan wasΒ in loveΒ with Ryan. Knowing that certainly influenced how she allowed herself to feel about Ryan, because it sort of felt like he was off-limits.
And then Ryan had done her a solid by choosing Dylan instead of her. She felt like she could breathe again, she was off the hook. She watched her bestie plant the cutest little baby peck of a kiss on his man and she fully intended to give him shit for notΒ fuckingΒ going for itΒ like heβd wanted to all summer, but she saw his face after and immediately decided against it. He was so in love, it would be like kicking a puppy. A freakishly tall puppy. Kaitlyn could be a little mean from time to time, but she certainly wasnβt puppy-kicking mean. She loved puppies.
She turned her attention instead toward getting her revenge on Emma for getting her into this mess in the first place. It wasnβt that she didnβt like Emma, but for all her ribbing of Jacob, Kaitlyn didnβt love that Emma was playing games with her friendβs feelings. Abi had told Kaitlyn earlier that Emma had bludgeoned a squirrel Abi hit with the golf cart with a giant rock because she said it was suffering. Was that what she was trying, and failing, to do to Jacob? Put him out of his misery?Β And into everyone elseβs misery, Kaitlyn thought.
Truth be told, Kaitlyn had been jealous of Emma. Not because she wanted to be with Jacob,Β ew,Β but because the two of them had planned to be counselors together since theyβd been coming to Hackettβs Quarry as kids and all summer heβd only wanted to spend time with his βspecial little booboo bearβ and not with her. He was breaking the bro code. She resented Emma playing with Jacobβs emotions and she resented Jacob for allowing her to do it. So Kaitlyn baited Emma into kissing Nick to show Jacob that another night with Emma wasnβt doing him or anyone else any good. Poor Abi had gotten caught in the crossfire though, so maybe Kaitlyn would kick the occasional puppy after all, but only as collateral damage. She hoped the sting of it would spur the rabbit-hearted girl into action with Nick finally, and it had worked until theyβd nearly become werewolf snacks.
Looking back at Ryanβs dare though, perhaps Kaitlyn had felt the tiniest smidge of disappointment in the moment she wasnβt chosen, but if she had, sheβd tamped it down so throughly that she couldnβt even remember it now. When she told the story back to herself the first time it was slightly obscured, and with each subsequent remembering sheβd papered over it with another layer until she was sure sheβd never felt anything at that bonfire ring but selflessly happy for Dylan. Sheβd needed it to be true when they had walked together to the scrapyard and sheβd had to reassure him that Ryan would surely like him just as much only the one hand (and if he doesnβt, sheβd thought,Β I will end him myself). She needed it to be true twice as much now that Dylan was dead.
And truthfully, KaitlynΒ hadΒ been happy for Dylan, and for Ryan, even if the feeling was a little complicated. Sheβd even found it in her to give a small whoop of joy when Dylan regained his seat, looking so ridiculously smitten that sheβd had to laugh. Theyβd exchanged glances and heβd given her a smile and a little shrug, half apologetic, half self-satisfied. SheΒ had notΒ been in a love triangle with her late best friend and his would-be boyfriend. She hadnβt, right? Thatβs what Kaitlyn told the police and what she told herself.
BABE WAKE UP THE LATEST CHAPTER OF PARTICLES AND WAVES IS OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im loving the kaitlyn character expansion going on here its SO nice like her getting all tender and considerate and her dynamic with dylan n its so refreshing to see cus throughout the game like 90% of her dynamics is being stern or giving snippy one liners like come on girl.... give us somethin.... n THIS is it im living for her mean but still mama bear era
and i really like the direction youre going with ryans character! i feel like the context of ryans family life and connection with chris fits in really organically and hits that balance of meaningfully contextualising someone with their social experience/outlooks whilst still maintaining their individual and personal narrative like mmmmm let me eat real quick mmm ugh so good π΄π΄π΄π΄
ALSO just the tonal pacing is SO good like jumping between cutesy awkward gay teen moments to Grief. and the characters personal troubles and dramas like ouuuughhhh let me get a soy based snack to calm me down.... thinking about the way dylan counted the number of times he made ryan laugh like oop imagine doing that with ur gay summer crush ποΈποΈ who told you that........
my take on the white wolf!!
honestly i didnt love his in game design cus despite being a big deal plot/characterwise hes like kinda visually nondescript.... hence i give him big tendrily floaty hair bits to remedy this
is that maybe some informed design decision to give him an eerie weightlessness and emphasise his ghostly, enigmatic nature? to visually echo the flames that burned the circus, defining his presence as a haunting parody of the initial trauma that unleashed him onto the hacketts? or do i just like the way the murlocs look from world of warcraft? who can say...
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dylan lenivy: *microwaves a frozen pizza slice*
dylan lenivy: *starts toasting the microwaved pizza slice on a frying pan*
dylan lenivy: god i'm pulling out all the stops here lowkey. this is gonna be the most romantic dinner ryan's ever had in his life
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