I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh...hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

And that’s when he decided to start making meth

everyone’s so worried about my tree trajectory but that’s the best part about rolling downhill in tractor tires: so much of the shock is absorbed by the tire so you can pretty much do anything. in theory. i’m not a doctor I actually don’t know you could probably still die. one of the guys I roped into this went over a huge boulder and went airborn for a hot second though so that was fun

THE,,, TH HANDCUFFS ON HIS FEEt???

Bdsm

This rhymes

Next time my teacher makes us read a poem this will be it

I went to a Q&A seminar with Antoni and Karamo and they told us that at Queer Eye auditions Jonathan literally ran from room to room yelling “WHERE IS SHE” over and over again and while everyone assumed it was about the casting director or something it was, in fact, about a Starbucks cup he’d lost, and I need you all to know that Jonathan lives on maximum 24/7. He is a force that cannot be contained

some of you wont shut up including me