* 🐝 ◞ the wannabe

“I’m not saying ‘I told you so’.” Which was mostly true. If she wanted a nice break from Cherry, it didn’t make sense to pick a fight with one of the few people who genuinely liked her. Even if she wanted to scream about his moment with Libby, about the way she could swear he wasn’t as captivated by her as he had once been. Jealousy and insecurity more likely to make Kitty feel like shit than the constant cycle of drinking and hangovers while they were away. “But I knew they were going to be like this.” Which was totally unfair of Elaine since she was with Zev!

Of course, not many people had the guts to critique Elaine the way they did Kitty. “It’s so typical of her, but Harvey?” He had been so nice to her... and then just distance and that. Did Elaine hear something about them hanging out? Was that what she was mad about? Why she targeted him? “They’re supposed to be my friends,” the disappointment in her tone only allowed because it was Mac.

The last time Kitty talked to Noah, despite it revolving around the bomb Candy Girl had dropped, it was almost nice. At least, talking to him again was. That didn’t mean she was suddenly seeking him out. She was only going to the den to try to find a movie that Zahra, Elaine and Rory would all agree to kick everyone else out of the room for later that night. It did mean that the sight of him alone wasn’t shooting her guard back up and putting her on defense. Maybe some kind of happiness to see him without her friends around if you squinted.

“Thanks for putting all the food away.” It was the least he deserved after she had backtracked to only thank Elaine in front of everyone else. “I didn’t say that before.” Was it something she thought he’d hold against her? No, but it was what friends did, right? They were friends. At least, trying to be. That’s what the entire gang was supposed to be. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

Truth or dare always stirred up drama. Usually, she loved watching Elaine tear someone down. It was entertaining yet also inspiring. It usually wasn’t her. Technically, her question had been about Mac and his love life. AKA her worst kept secret. Harvey had been the one to name-drop her, but Elaine knew. She had to know from how she carried on about him to try and change her mind. More annoying than the discreet Kitty thought she was being.

“Why would she ask that?” Kitty blurted. “Last night. About Mac. Is she mad at me or something?” Would Elaine even tell Zahra if she was? “And Harvey’s, like, so wrong. Rockstars totally have skin in the game. I’m not pathetic.” More trying to convince herself than Zahra.

It’s hard to articulate just how Kitty was feeling. Losing Lux wasn’t exactly the devastating blow it was to some, but the anniversary still left a funny feeling in her chest. How different things were from a year ago. Yet also how everything managed to feel so... raw and recent. Like growing pains without any of the actual growth.

One of the easier feelings to decipher from the static mess in her head was loneliness. The way Lux used to make her feel. Like she could scream and still be invisible, no matter how much she changed about herself. The way she had been forcing herself to feel. Damaging relationships dear to her because she lashed out like a wounded animal, keeping those who wanted to be around her at arm’s length for the fear they’d no longer want to if they saw too much.

She isn’t thinking rationally when she’s approaching Jamie. Even on the other side of the tracks, especially with how Kitty had toed the line for years, optics were still a thing. Nothing more than a quick demand to meet her behind the arcade in, like, half an hour. Enough time to make him walking off seem disconnected from their brief interaction. The fact he actually does it? Honestly, it surprised Kitty a little.

“You came,” she greeted, trying to keep the relief out of her voice. “I just...” But as she started, it became painfully obvious she didn’t have the words to finish. No explanation for dragging him away from the festivities. At least, not one she could articulate. “Ugh, forget about it. This is stupid. Just go back to whatever freak show you came from.”

𝗢𝗣𝗘𝗡 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗥!​​ 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧: wait is this fucking play about us but make it the fact that rebel without a cause may have been major inspo for me writing casey dfdfdgd  𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘: the drive-in bby 

The last thing Casey had been expecting that night was to have a meltdown over a movie. A meltdown over Lux… maybe. Possibly on the cards. A meltdown over Zahra’s birthday gift tucked in his back pocket… yeah. Probably. A meltdown over James Dean? No. He looks at the other man’s face on the poster with the same kind of scrutiny afforded to when he’s deeply engaged in a book. There’s no doubt that what Casey’s wearing is far more modern - he wouldn’t be caught dead in those shoes, thank you - but there is something eerie about looking at it. Same pop of red in the jacket. Same cuffed jeans in a different colour. The only reassuring thing is the tagline. He certainly didn’t come from a good family - ha. “Is this like one of those who wore it better things?” He asks with a gestured finger point to the poster, finally tearing his gaze away from the poster to look at the person who had come to stand near him. “‘Cause I’d… win, right?”

🐝

“You’re kidding, right?” Kitty asked, flicking her attention back to the poster as Casey pointed. “James Dean is, like, timeless. It feels a little unfair trying to win that.” Would she agree? Probably. Is it smart to say that because of Mac and Noah? Definitely not. “If you want a competition you can win, look at all the losers with too much hair gel and a tacky outfit attempt that feels way too forced. You’re the best James Dean knockoff by far.” Which honestly sounded a lot nicer in Kitty’s head. “But if you guys get totally famous and are timeless sex symbols like James Dean, maybe teenagers fifty years from now will think you win. The movie will be a hundred years old and they’ll all totally forget about him.”

who: open! what: took one look at rebel without a cause’s wikipedia page & said jesus christ not this where: either u agree to go to the food shack with her or u have to decide where they are i don’t make the rules 

“Who picked Rebel Without a Cause?” Rory’s brow furrowed as she squinted at the screen over a sea of cars. She’d really been hoping for something a little more light-hearted, or at least something that she could get engrossed in enough to forget the everything else going on lately. Town Square. Lux. Town Square. Sleepwalking. Rebel Without a Cause was… not going to do it. She forced a smile to her face, some lightness into her voice. “Okay, if I’m gonna watch a movie about California teenagers fighting each other, knife fights, and doing stupid stuff that ends in multiple deaths, I’m gonna need to go get a drink.” She hadn’t really planned on buying anything aside from her movie snack but desperate times called for desperate measures. “Wanna come with? I’ll share my skittles in exchange for company.”

🐝

“You’re looking at it all wrong,” Kitty told her as if it were a matter of fact. “The fighting is just... stupid boy stuff. We watch Rebel Without a Cause for the hotties like James Dean.” If it were a year ago, there wouldn’t have been a trace of hesitation at Rory’s question. In fact, she probably would have been dragging the other girl by the hand from the mere mention of needing a drink. It would have been sweet, rather than just emphasizing the cold spot in her life without Rory next to her. She had made some weird kind of peace with Noah in the form of seeing him after Candy blasted him on her blog. Plus, the glittery gel pen on the calendar was practically haunting her about the other girl’s birthday. “Only if you save me a lot of the red ones,” Kitty caved, holding her hand out like an olive branch.

roary80xoxo: hey

roary80xoxo: i feel like i haven't seen you in forever

roary80xoxo: and i was hoping maybe we could go get birthday ice cream tomorrow? like tradition?

kittycatcutie: hey

kittycatcutie: you still want to do that this year??

𝐍𝐎𝐖  𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆  :  𝐣𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐞  𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥  .

the  “  i’d  tell  you  i  miss  you  ,  but  i  don’t  know  how  ”  chapter  .

𝐍𝐎𝐖  𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆  :  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠  .

the  “  i  love  my  friends  ,  but  i  forget  to  call  them  ”  chapter  .

Pain wasn’t uncommon in Noah Russell’s life. Far from it actually, but he’d have been lying if he said, getting his ass handed to him, and having Candy throw him directly under the bus wasn’t a rough one. In the short time since it’d all come out he took to spending the majority of his time locked away in his room. Sure there were a few exceptions, but as far as he was concerned the less interactions he had with the rest of the gang the better. Which made it hard to force himself to get up when he heard the knocking at the door. Could have remained content in the dark depths of his room until finally the voice registered with him. A voice he’d never in his life tried to ignore until now. A voice that once would have sent his nerves on a tizzy that now twisted his stomach in knots. Partially because he wasn’t sure which Kitty he was going to get. At least not until he really listened in on what she was asking. Just open the door. 

A request that was so much easier said than done as he pushed himself up and made his way there. For a moment he paused. Pressing his forehead against the door as he contemplated turning back around and retreating to the safety of his room. But it was the please that won out. The please that reminded him of the girl he’d once been so crazy stupid in love with. That had him pulling open the door ever so slightly as he offered her an apologetic look. “I’m sorry I’d been asleep.” He fibbed, although it wasn’t like he didn’t look the part. Although the odds of that in the middle of the day were a little less likely. “Is everything okay?” 

🐝

The sound of the knob twisting and the door being pulled open came as a slight reassurance. Proof that Kitty hadn’t completely burnt the bridge. That relief quickly dashed by the sight of the other boy. If it had been a few months ago, if Kitty had handled everything better, she would have been pulling him into her arms. Instead, she greeted him with a soft ‘hi’ and that faintest curve of her lips that was meant to be a smile.

If it weren’t such a dire situation, if it weren’t Noah, Kitty would have made some comment about the fact he looked like he hadn’t slept in years. “No, everything’s not okay,” she replied, brushing past Noah to come inside even without an invite. “I’ve been worried sick about you. Are you-” Okay? How could anyone be okay after something like that? “Alone? Can we talk?”

who: @ofwannabees​ what: Lawn mowing

Regardless of where he was living now, West always found a reason to go back to his trailer park roots. Whether it was to visit his brothers, or in this case just to take care of some of the surrounding areas, he’d had a hard time ever completing separating from it. Something he just sort of accepted wasn’t the case for most other individuals who grew up there. Which made it ever the more rare when he’d run into the queen of trying to escape herself. “Hey Maddox!” He called out as he stopped his pushing to give her a flag down. Giving his brow a quick wipe from the sweat as he leaned against the machine. “She graces the homeland with her presence. Gotta be quicker than that if you’re trying not to be seen in these parts.” 

🐝 Kitty always knew the day she moved the last thing out of her mother’s place would be the last day she ever stepped foot in the trailer park. Why West Virginia was lingering like some annoying bug was beyond her. “Didn’t you move out?” Kitty asked in place of a greeting. In fact, she knew he had because she was nice enough to actually tell him she’d miss him when he left. She wouldn’t have been so lame if she knew he would keep hanging around. “I was just leaving.” Yet as he leaned against the machine, Kitty decided she could spare a few moments. “Do you want something, or are you just being weird?”

Mac knew he was acting weird, between the guilt of not having the courage to tell Kitty what happened with Harvey and the weird connection he was feeling to Town Square. He was surprised she was still choosing to hang around him at all, let alone talking of big plans to run away together. He almost didn’t want to play pretend, to get his hopes up for something he knew would never happen, but he couldn’t help but match her smile as he looked into her eyes. “As fun as Hawaii sounds I think I’d have to go with New York. Lots of people in the music scene over that way, and I’d love to see the snow with you.” He presses a kiss to her forehead, pulling her in closer to him, “Why the sudden change of heart?” 

🐝

“How about we live in New York and then get a cute little holiday home in Hawaii. I mean, some people have them in Cherry, of all places!” Ones that no doubt sit empty in light of recent events. “I’ve always wanted a white Christmas,” Kitty admitted. “My mother is a total grinch, but I think it would be kinda nice. Actually set up and decorate a Christmas tree. Fake, of course. I’m not dealing with an actual thing from nature that’s gonna bring bugs into our home.” Kitty hesitated at the question, wondering if she should just brush it off. Because Cherry is a terrible place and I’m sick of it. As if it hadn’t been the first time Mac asked her. “I don’t know… It’s just… Last time Candy was airing out our dirty laundry, it was a lot of stupid shit like Rory having a baby or that I wanted to murder Zahra. Obviously not true.” She had been right about Sabrina and the mayor, but that was totally detached from them. “But now there’s creepy little voyeur tapes and…” Don’t mention the polaroid. As far as she was concerned, she wanted to lump that in with Grace’s Unbelievable Bullshit. “She’s acting like she’s gonna make one of us go down for Lux’s murder or something.”

“Okay, so, I know I was the one that called you crazy for wanting to leave when that psycho broke into Rissa’s office, but...” The last word drawn out as she was pushing the notebook, another weird rendition of Town Square she pretended not to notice, out of his hands. “I changed my mind.” After all that, how could you not? Instead of asking how much he believed or making any snide comments about Alice, her hand was placed on his cheek and tilting his head up to meet her gaze. “She hasn’t said any ‘I’ll expose you and then kill you if you try to leave town’ threats again. We’ll run away together, and it’d be super cool and super romantic. You’ll write songs and they’ll be, like, crazy successful. It’ll be a total Fast Car moment.” Of course, it was easier to offer up that kind of grand commitment when it was an impossible situation. That they’d never have to call their own bluff’s, even though she pressed her lips against Mackenzie’s as a promise. “We could go to,” a quick pause to weigh up their options, as if they had the resources or free will to leave town. “Hawaii! I could get a sexy tan. Or New York. It always looks so glamorous on TV. Plus, all of those places are so Not Cherry. No one would even bat an eye at us being... y’know. An us.”

who: open what: rocky being a lil on edge to be back in proper where: around the side of surf’s up

There were many, many things Rocky could attribute the tight feeling across her shoulders to. The horrifically publicised funeral of Billy Rocks that she had missed, the drama that seemed to swell every time someone so much as mentioned Lux Lewis’ name, or maybe it was simply pain from carrying all the bullshit she had for so many fucking years. One thing she would not attribute it to, however, was an uncomfortable feeling caused by being back in Proper after so many years. It wasn’t the first time back, no, but it was sinking in that she was back. In a certain sense. Whatever. That totally wasn’t her problem. 

In the afternoon shadows beside Surf’s Up Rocky attempted rid that irritating and awfully humbling feeling, pulling rolled cigarette from a metal case and put it between her lips. Cupping hand around it as she tried to light it– but then she sees a shadow move, or thinks she does. Either way, causes her to jump, dropping lighter from her hand as she did. “ Jesus. Don’t fucking sneak up on me like that, ” Was it really sneaking or was it more likely they’d just rounded a corner and now had Rocky snapping at them? “ Total creeper shit. ” She commented irritably, grabbing cigarette before it had the chance to fall as well. She looked to the ground for fallen lighter, the faded red BIC lighter easy to spot, but unfortunately close to the approacher’s feet. God damn it. “ Mind passing my lighter? ” She asked, pointing to it. Irritability notably dropped from her tone now she was asking a favour. A small one, but a favour nonetheless.

🐝

Strange to think about it now, but there was once a time that rounding a corner and coming face to face with Rocky wouldn’t have brought on the pit in Kitty’s stomach that was impossible to ignore. They had been friends. Safe to say, there was no proof left for the naked eye when Kitty stepped back in disgust upon recognizing the other girl. “Don’t flatter yourself,” she shot back quickly. “This is a totally busy walkway and you’re lurking in the shadows like some southside thug. Which, I mean, kinda fits, right?”

Kitty’s eyes flickered down to the lighter that had fallen to her feet before shooting back up to Rocky. “You know that’s disgusting, right? And, like, a sure-fire way to die young.” Then again, living in Cherry alone did that! “Not that I give a shit,” she tacked on before halfheartedly kicking the lighter towards the other girl. “If you’re done being a sketchy psycho, some of us have an actual life to get back to. This has been horrible, let’s never do it again!” The artificially sweet tone laid on thick to match the Barbie smile flashed at the other girl. “Peace out, Pebble.”

In the wake of Candy’s destruction, Kitty wouldn’t have been surprised if her endless knocking at the door and calling out went ignored until Ronnie was sent out to tell her to get lost. If there was one thing Kitty Maddox had perfected, it was the art of being annoying. Turns out it was a lot harder to get Noah’s time and attention when he wasn’t fawning over her. The thought that he had heard her voice and turned away because they weren’t exactly on the best of terms lingered in the back of her mind. Something would no doubt get ranted to Zahra and Audrina whilst still swearing she didn’t care.

She was at his doorstep to check on him because she didn’t care. How believable! Surely she could just blame the sappy empathy on spending too much time around Mackenzie Walsh and roll her eyes about it later. Once she was sure Noah was... stable. “Look, Noah. I’m not here to make things worse,” she reasoned with a door, hoping there was someone- anyone behind it. Except Rory Collins. How embarrassing would that be? “Just open the door... Please.”