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mcmarleneâ:
Her eyes rolled, but she couldnât wipe the grin from her lips. It felt wrong, out of place but she tried to push those thoughts away. âYeah, me too,â she replied quietly. All the ups, all the downs, all the laughs and all the tears, she would do it all over again too. With him, and with Lily and James and Dorcas and Peter and Mary and Remus and Benjy. They werenât the family she was born with, but they were the family she chose, and she knew it was different for him. They were the only family Sirius had. He pulled her closer and she let out a small, content sigh. In a world of uncertainty, that was the one thing Marlene was sure of anymore - that she loved Sirius Black - in a way she couldnât and probably would never love anyone else⌠and he loved her just the same. They were two halves of the same heart. They were soulmates. âSpeaking of sleep,â she said, going for a playful tone but it just came out tired. She was tired. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally⌠just so damn tired. âCan we?â she asked, already settling on his chest⌠but before she got too comfortable, she lifted her head and pressed her lips to his. Maybe they shared dreams too. They could dream of another universe where they could run away to Greece and have their happily ever after.
How long until it hit? How long until this little bubble theyâd created burst and all that pain came flooding back in? Sure, it was all still there in the back of his mind, the fact that heâd almost lost her, the fact that he might still lose Harry, but Sirius knew once the emotions bled through theyâd come full force. For now, though, it was so much easier to let his thoughts drift back to their first kiss, first date, first time, first break-up. So many firsts, and yet heâd never stop wanting more; even her dumping him couldnât completely kill that small part of him that wanted her to be all his lasts, too. âHmmmm,â he mused, the noise coming out as a rumbling in his chest. As if he had to think about it; he was still too wired to sleep, still needed her awake to distract him, but he knew damn well that she needed her rest and if he was lucky maybe he could catch a few hoursâ sleep, too. âIf the princess insists.â Grinning into the kiss, too much teeth and too much love, he settled deeper into the pillows. Her weight on his chest would never grow old, their bodies fitting together like the missing pieces they swore the other was. âSleep tight, golden girl. Iâm not going anywhere.â With one hand, he played idly with her hair, leaning in to kiss her forehead.
TK Strand . 911: Lone Star 105 . 021020
911: LONE STAR (2020 - )
Ronen Rubinstein // 50th Anniversary of #EarthDay on IG
For @backofftubby

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potteringpctterâ:
Sirius was the one person who could always get him to laugh, no matter the circumstance. There didnât have to be a good reason, anyway, but now it was appreciated more than it was before. Of course, James was never one to let his mateâs feel under appreciated. He liked to tell them every chance he got that he loved them. But, it was more palpable now. Having good friends was a fact that James knew he took for granted. Not just good friends. Brothers. Sisters. People who would take care of him as if they were family. Heâd always wanted a big family, and it seems as though he had made his own.
Still, the thought of Harry was ever present, and his smile was not quite full. âHonestly, theyâve been waiting for this day,â he said. âWizarding chess, yâknow. Boring. Weâve made it fun. Unpredictable. Quite in the marauder way, if you ask me.â He even added in a wink, just to see a smile appear on Siriusâ face. There were times when he needed a laugh too, after all. âI think itâs absolutely right, and the little pieces agree too, look at emâ go.â He laughed once again as he watched them go. âYâknow my da taught me how to play this game. I donât think I actually ever listened to those rules though.â
Putting on this facade, throwing himself into the body of the Sirius who hadn't lost everything that mattered - it felt good, but he couldn't quite shake how foreign it seemed now. James had seen him after heâd lost Regulus, had seen how deep heâd spiraled without feeling able to voice a word of it; he knew the other man would understand all the destructive ways heâd been coping. The very thought of putting just an ounce of that weight on James when heâd lost infinitely more than Sirius could even fathom seemed like cruelty beyond anything he could stomach. And so he swallowed it down and threw himself into what he knew, what they both knew, and hoped it would be enough.
âWho knew this would be how we left our mark on the world?â Sirius shook his head, tutting at the very thought. âI always did know weâd go down in history. If changing the face of wizarding chess - and the wizarding world as a whole along with it, of course - is how it must go, so be it.â It worked like a charm, a genuine smile spreading across his lips at the wink. Maybe it was just for show, but it calmed some deeply buried anxiety in him to see that if nothing else, James was trying. If he could try, so could Sirius. Absentmindedly, he flicked the tail on the knightâs horse, just to see the glare the knight shot him. âHow Fleamont had the patience to teach you, I will never understand.â There was a pang in his chest, and his smile faltered; first came the affection for the Potter family, but following close behind was the ever-present cloud of his own childhood, one he couldnât quite seem to shake off.
fcnwickâ:
âoh, will you now? iâm gonna hold you to that, sirius. even if i donât believe it.â against his better judgment to let his friend suffer on the ground, benjy stuck out a hand so he could sit back up like a regular human being. the concrete was hurting his arse, so he could only imagine how it felt for siriusâs entire body.  âcover, mate. never judge a book by its cover. come on now.â he tapped his temple as he continued,  âiâll take that as a compliment. it might not seem like much, but thereâs a lot up here. i wasnât a ravenclaw for nothing, you know.â smacking siriusâs arm, he let out a laugh.  âoh, sure. let me call her down then.â with that, benjy whistled loudly, enough to draw the ire of someone walking into st. mungoâs. perhaps it wasnât the best time or place.  âthink sheâll know itâs for her?â
âI never tell a lie. Iâll even compose my own songs, just for you.â Clearing his throat, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. ââBenjyâ doesnât rhyme with much, does it?â Sirius had half a mind to refuse the hand, but the longer he laid there the more he could feel loose gravel digging into his skin. Pulling his most aristocratic face, he accepted the hand and hoisted himself up, smiling as if he was the one doing Benjy a favor. âRight, that one. I like âbindingsâ better, whoever came up with this saying clearly didnât appreciate alliteration.â Shaking his head in dismay, his expression was quick to grow more teasing. âI still think you missed your calling. Couldâve been a Gryffindor, but no, you ended up with all your book smarts instead of the best four roommates in Hogwarts history.â From his vantage point, he smiled and waved at the passerby whoâd cast them a glare. âOf course she will. She senses me. Weâre connected, Fenwick.â
barty-jrouchâ:
âWell, arenât I lucky?â Barty played along with lips grinning. Barty used to be closer to Regulus. They were more alike in some ways but he never minded Siriusâ presence. And now that Barty has no contact with the younger Black brother, he only grew closer with Sirius. âOh,â Bartyâs eyes flickered towards the door. He hoped that the roommate wouldnât impede Sirius from talking more freely. Especially if the roommate turned out to be a fellow member of the Order. His eyes returned to Sirius. âWill your roommate be joining us soon? The more, the merrier after all,â he said. âEither way, you surely look like you enjoy your time alone,â he didnât need to fake the jealousy in his voice. even if it only faintly laced his teasing tone. âI certainly canât do that at home.â Barty raised his bottle of beer as if he was making a toast. âTo more chats with alcohol then.â Barty took a swig of beer before wiping his lips with his sleeve.âSo,â he began, walking from the counter to one of the couches, âwhat have you been keeping yourself busy with?âÂ
Sirius nodded seriously. âI expect a thank you letter,â tone strict, he pointed a finger at Barty. After a momentâs hesitation, the facade cracked and he laughed, the sound rare these days. âActually, the beer will do.â Waving a hand to dismiss the question, Sirius took another sip of his drink before answering. âNah, heâs at work. I think. Presumably.â Eyebrows scrunching, he tried to remember the schedule that he was reasonably certain Felix had told him. No matter, the point was he was out of the flat for a few hours. There was truth to the words; after so much destruction at his own hands, and after so many times where his poor roommate had had to deal with a wildly intoxicated Sirius, the emptiness was almost calming. But the emptiness was also boring, thus the music still playing along in the background. Idly, he wondered if he should refresh his silencing charm. âOh, it could definitely be worse. And this way, no one can criticize my taste in music.â Sniffing pointedly and lifting his chin, he held the beer like a crutch, all his attention focused on the cool bottle in his hand and the man before him. âIâll cheers to that!â he crowed, lifting the bottle. There was another brief pause, and he tried not to pick at the label. âA bit of this, a bit of that. Work. Pubs. A lot of pubs, actually.â
jmontagueâ:
ââ oh, pardon me a second.â jasper excused himself from his conversation and strolled over to the bar, taking the first stool available.  âdonât think i didnât notice you making eyes at me for the past half hour. hi,â he said to the person now at his side, a self-assured smile across his face. when jasper next spoke, he leaned in close and lowered his voice.  âaubrey over there wonât leave me alone and iâve still got some time to kill before my shift.â he jerked a thumb behind him, pointing at the man whoâd previously held his attention. âlaugh like i just said something funny, okay? iâll buy you a shot if you manage to get him to go away.â Â
This was far from the first time Sirius had found himself at Merlin Rouge, and likely would be far from his last, but it was the first time heâd ventured in alone. Of late heâd been throwing himself into his usual routine, spending more time with friends than he had in the past month combined, and really it was a decent distraction but it wasnât enough. Between the neon lights and loud music and beautiful people, the strip club was at least an improvement, and if had to pass a night sipping drinks at the bar and taking it all in without one of his friends by his side, he was reasonably certain he could survive. In truth, he had been eying Jasper up, a familiar face from previous visits, even if the words were simply meant as cover. âYou caught me,â Sirius remarked, a lazy grin so suited to the atmosphere spreading across his face. Obligingly, he let out a hearty laugh, leaning in to put a hand on the other manâs arm to drive the point home. With a glance cast behind Jasper, he leaned in even more. âThink that was convincing enough?â
tarqinmctavishâ:
He had a point that Tarquin agreed with. Or perhaps it was the fact that Tarquin was many things but he was not a hypocrite. At least not when it came to this. Going over what could have been done differently really was its own specific sort of evil, he knew very well how it could drive someone insane. That knowledge coupled with the fact that he was finding himself caring less about everything around him, content to make this last for as long as he could. âFair enough, mate. I can hardly talk.â As Sirius got to his feet, Tarquin bend down doing another line and closing his eyes when it hit. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that mixing this with alcohol was a bad idea but who cared? Besides, if he was gonna commit to this, he might as well go all in so he called after him, âTop left cabinet.âÂ
Sirius had been here before, he knew how it went: first, the destruction - the drugs and the alcohol and the cruel words dripping like honey. Then came the numbness, the days where he simply wouldnât move. After that, there was pain, distraction, and then normalcy that would never quite feel like normal again. Sirius knew all of this, had been here before, and he slipped into that same ugly pattern like it was some sort of cruel lifeboat, like it would keep him alive. Lingering somewhere within the high, he was pretty damn grateful heâd ended up at Tarquinâs, because who else would let him destroy himself like this? Who else would join him? And so Sirius grabbed a bottle from the cabinet and two glasses he didnât intend to use and waltzed back into the room, full of his usual fervor just two steps offbeat. âYâknow, I think I like this stuff,â he remarked, leaning over for another line as soon as heâd resettled. Mouth feeling heavy but unable to stop talking, he continued. âI feel like I could scale a building. Maybe I should.âÂ

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ofmeadowesâ:
If they had been exasperated only moments earlier, it soon increased tenfold as he seemed determined to stay where he was. But they had always been stubborn and so they stood their ground, eyes narrowing slightly as he motioned for them to join him. âBullshit, Sirius.â Words snapped from their lips, patience wearing thin only because they thought him better than this. He had fire and drive and endless amounts of passion. There was something so uncomfortable about seeing him reduced to almost nothing more than a flicker. Perhaps their own spark could rekindle his, challenge issued in the hopes that it would cause him to snap or fight back. Anything but remain the shell of himself that grief had made him become. âSince when did the Sirius Black give up?â The pleading in his gaze made them pause. Sirius Black had never begged them for anything. Sigh slipped from their lips and they finally take a seat on the couch, just perching on the edge. Head shook, tone soft but still firm as they spoke from personal experience. âNo. Numbness can be scary.â They hesitate when they guard memories of their parents so fiercely but if there was ever a moment to bring up a childhood anecdote, it was now. âMy dad told me it was just our response to when something hurt too much. It passes.â
In a flash, his gaze snapped up to meet theirs, instinct more than emotion driving his actions. This was what Sirius loved the most about them: their fire, their ability to say what needed to be said without taking no for an answer. This was what he admired about them, solid in all the ways he was not, and usually, it would be enough to get him to do just about anything with teasing words and reckless smile but. But. A reckless smile wouldnât come, his expression remaining neutral and listless. Something in the back of his mind was infuriated - with them, with himself, with the world. Why couldnât their prodding be enough? Why did a part of him want to listen, to will his heart to start beating properly again? Nothing felt right and nothing made him want to try and so he stayed silent, but he held their gaze. It was a start. He let out a huff of a laugh, but he couldnât shake the hollowness. âYou shouldâve seen me a week ago,â he remarked dryly, memories of biting words and bar fights viewed through a haze. Somehow, there was comfort in their proximity; heâd known them just as long as the friends he called brothers, had trusted them since the first time they called him on his bullshit. He knew Dorcas, and having them close enough to touch like some pillar of the life crumbling beneath his feet helped. Sucking in a deep breath, he nodded. âI think Iâd rather be scared.â The admission was so wholly uncharacteristic as it dripped from his lips, and that was as good as anything at stirring some life back into him. It was their mention of their father that did it though. Limbs protesting, mind protesting, he pushed himself into a seated position. âHe sounds like a wise man. Is that where you get it from?â A complement of the highest order from Sirius, yet spoken in an echo of his usual teasing tone.
dfcresswellâ:
Dirk smiled back, trying to convey in one look that it was okay, that he didnât understand what Sirius was going through and possibly never would but he did sympathise. His anxiety had quieted now, too, fading into a background pitter-patter as he laughed at Siriusâ comment and focused on potions. Not quite his best subject at Hogwarts but it was in the top three and it was his best of the ones which werenât all theoretical which had made it his favourite. âA few things. Iâll probably just make a wit-sharpening potion or two. It helps with long days at work which is a pretty boring reason for using it but I enjoy potion-making enough for that to be a hobby in itself, it has never really bothered me what exactly Iâm making and thereâs only so many things you can make which wonât just go to waste.â It wasnât like he had any intention of hurting anyone and there were a lot of medicinal potions he would probably never have any need for.
Sympathy had always rung just a bit too close to pity for Siriusâs taste, and his instinct was to respond to any show of it with a joke, with biting words, with anything that might stop the other from looking at him like that. The impulse was there, but he stamped it down, the faint itch of annoyance or fear or whatever too much emotion too soon. But it was easy enough to crack a smile and nod along, even if he couldnât quite feel entirely like himself. âWit-sharpening, hmm?â Sirius remarked, raising an eyebrow in interest. âWonder what would happen if I took one.â Puffed up with a forced arrogance, he gave a cheeky grin and a wink. Sirius Black had been putting on a show since the day he was born; he could act like he wasnât so damn tired, as if he felt like himself. Much to his professorsâ chagrin, Sirius happened to be surprisingly good at potions - and at making them explode all over one Severus Snape - but it had been a while since heâd put those skills to any real use. âCreswell, I never knew you were a man of so many talents.â There was a joke in there somewhere, just outside of Siriusâ reach and any other time he would have grabbed for it, witty remarks his native tongue. Instead, he just grinned, teasing yet not ingenuine, hand over his heart.
mcmarleneâ:
Bloody hell, when did she not look at him like that? Even when she was mad at him, she still wanted him. Even when he was being an arse. This was a perfect example. The problem was that he looked at her the same. There was something behind every look. Want. Need. Love. All of the above. âShut up,â she mumbled, but it was halfhearted. Then they were kissing, and it had the desired effect. The rest of the world disappeared until it was just Marlene and Sirius. Nothing else mattered except for whatever the hell was happening on the roof. Marlene didnât know what was going on, she just knew that she could let herself get lost in his kiss and forget everything. Her hand was freed from his grip and she moved it to his neck, trying to deepen the kiss. She wanted to kiss him everywhere, feel him everywhere. His hand on her back and sent a shot of electricity through her entire body and she rose up on her tip toes, gasping against his mouth. She took advantage of the gasp to pull away just enough to breathe, âYep, terrible kisser,â against his lips.
Sirius Black loved Marlene McKinnon. It was that simple. Romantically, sometimes, platonic others, against his better judgment occasionally. It was written into his DNA: Marauder, fighter, hers. It was this knowledge alone that let him cling to her in a way he was terrified to do with the boys - because he wasnât Sirius now, or perhaps he was, a Sirius filled with pain and anger and drugs and liquor. He didnât feel like the Sirius whoâd done what better wix couldnât so that one of his best friends wouldnât be alone. He didnât feel like the Sirius whoâd waited around the hospital for as long as it took for her to heal. He didnât feel like the Sirius who gave a damn about a single thing but kissing her felt like digging up an old memory. It wasnât enough; he couldnât let that part of him go enough to lose himself in her. Nails digging into her back, just enough to remind her he was there, the hard look didnât leave his eyes but his face was flush, eyes dilated, hands holding her close. âGuess I should stop, then,â he spoke it like a challenge, but he didnât let her body move from where it was pressed to him. âOr do you want to tell me what else Iâm terrible at?â
caughtlovebonesâ:
Spotting a familiar face as she finished up with one patient, arms crossed over her chest. Lips pursed in faked disapproval, head shaking as she made sure her tone was as chiding as possible. âI really hope that this is a social visit.â The pretence doesnât last all that long though and a grin is soon blooming over her lips as she speaks again, lighter cadence to her words. âPlease tell me youâre not hurt?â She hadnât seen Sirius in weeks and she could only imagine how Harryâs death was affecting him. All she could do was hope that he hadnât turned to anything too reckless.
@oftherebelsâ
Really, Sirius wouldâve taken just about any excuse to go see Greta; her presence was just so calming, comforting. As soon as heâd come out of that first destructive phase of loss, heâd been keeping an eye out for her in the streets, at meetings, yet he never seemed to get a moment to speak with her. So then it was convenience and nothing more that heâd found himself in a bit of a bar brawl the night before. Just an excuse to see his favorite healer. âWhy canât it be both, Greta? Let a man multitask.â With a tsk, he shook his head, as if wounded by the suggestion. Shrugging his shoulders, he tossed her a slightly abashed grin and lifted his shirt, bruised ribs on display. âI know what youâre thinking, but it wasnât my fault, I promise.â
Nice burn!
@mcmarlene

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alcstorsâ:
alastor had been alive a long, long time ââ maybe longer than heâd been entitled to, but definitely longer than most people had expected him to last. heâd lost friends and families and partners and mentors over the years, even owls. ( they hadnât died, they just flew away. ) so the auror understood where sirius came from, but he also didnât. â why shouldnât you? â he asked, quiet and blunter than he maybe should have. so alastor cleared his throat, crossing his arms tight across his chest. â you can yell and you can throw things and you can ââ â he raised his brows, levelling sirius with an unimpressed look, â ââ hit me with some more sarcasm, what good is it gonna do right now? â sirius was young, too young. he was still a kid. but this was a war, and there was no breathing space in a war. â youâre not gonna feel better. âÂ
Sirius was, by his own admission, not exactly great at listening to authority figures. No matter how much he loved to bother Moody until his antics drew the all-too-familiar scowl out of him, though, it was undeniable that he was one of very few who could actually get Sirius to listen. And so listen he did, even though he didnât like what the older man had to say. âPossibly because this loss I actually get to mourn,â he bit back, more open than heâd be in almost any other company. When his father had died - fine, good riddance. When Regulus had died - well, he couldnât grieve over someone heâd turned her back on, could he? âOh, been there, done that. Weâre on the third set of dishes this month at my flat.â As much as he tried to focus in, his mind still felt as if it was trapped in a fog. âIt doesnât seem like anything will do any good, but what do I know? Itâs clearly not up to me to plan any retaliation.â Despite the biting sarcasm, his tone was tired, lost; did Moody really think he didnât know all of this? âI know nothing I do is going to make things right again, trust me.â
rjluqinâ:
Remus had woken up just before noon, having worked the bar til closing the night before. It was his first day off in a week and heâd savored it, rising at a leisurely pace, having more than tea and toast for breakfast. Heâd even cast a bird-conjuring charm, watching with amusement as Romulus chased them to until he was on his side, panting hard. And because he had no errands to run or werewolves to liaise with, he didnât have to go anywhere. He grabbed a book heâd been reading for the past month and curled up in his bed, finally finishing it. It was long after that that he heard a knock on the door. Untangling his legs from Romulus, he padded towards the door and peered through the peephole, a little surprised to find Sirius on the other side. It had been some time since the other Marauder had last visited. He pointedly chose not to wonder why. Even if he had unspoken suspicions, Sirius acted as if nothing was different, all wide grins and cheekiness. âAnd have you been spending more time with people that have silly rules like that?â he asked, with a smaller grin. âMaybe I shouldnât have missed you.â He hummed before jerking his head towards the couch. âCome in.â
This was the thing, why he both avoided Remus at times and needed to be around him at others: Everything felt so normal when Sirius was with his friend. All the suspicion that seemed to cloud his thoughts when they strayed to one lycanthrope faded into the background when the door opened, as it always did. It would still be there, lingering, cataloging every word to mull over later, but for just a moment Sirius could pretend like they were nothing more than two friends and that the world wasnât constantly falling out from underneath him. âSome people simply have no taste, no matter how much I try and educate them.â Shaking his head with a sigh, he treated the matter like the absolute tragedy it was, dammit. âYou could try not to miss me, but it wouldnât work. Trust me. There have been studies on it.â Admittedly, Sirius didnât have a single healthy coping mechanism, but ignoring his pain seemed at least healthy-adjacent. Waltzing through the open door, he beelined to the couch and all but through himself onto it, somehow sprawled in a casual lounge in one corner upon impact. The record was still clasped lovingly in his hands. âAnd what have you been up to today, Moony my lad? Anything exciting, or am I the dashing hero here to add color to a drab day?â