“What comes after the words you said?”
“I always thought we'd have another life.”
“I paint you in the corner of my mind.”
“I can't erase you,:
“My imagination's running wild.”
“So much breakage.”
“I'm hearing voices out of my TV.”
“I can't embrace you.”
“We're not close, but I still taste you.”
Nightmare
“Now I'm a nightmare.”
“Your grand entry was all a blur to me.”
“I never saw your face just your energy.”
“I was having bad dreams, you ran away from me.”
"Don't worry, babe, this time around I've changed."
“You were my baby, but now you're my nightmare.”
“Am I on your mind? Don't you deny it.”
“Good luck on the West Coast.”
“I don't think you'll find it.”
“Fuck your California dreams, get away from me.”
“Call me up someday when you're not high off your face.”
“Look what you did to me.”
“Oh, I can never sleep.”
Death Of Me
“This love looks like a loaded gun.”
“If it gets in the wrong hands, then we're fucked.”
“'Cause heaven knows what you do to me.”
“You could chain me up or set me free.”
“You could suffocate or let me breathe.”
“Baby, you could be the death of me.”
“Maybe I'm crazy, I know you're danger.”
“One man's hell is another's God.”
“You're a cold-blooded killer only after dark.”
“I'll do about anything just to get those hands on me.”
Things Are Better
“Not numb, but not feeling too much.”
“'Cause I've seen everything.”
“I'm too tired to be tied to my woes now.”
“You loved me suffering.”
“Hate to tell you things are better.”
“You said it was then or never.”
“Old wounds recovered one after another.”
“You loved me suffering but I could take the pain. Sorry I broke the chain.”
“I'm done always giving too much.”
“Twisted up all I said, every word and every letter.”
“I wish I... Wish I could tell you things are better.”
Old Wounds
“They say don't open old wounds but you're still brand new.”
“You got a little more to prove.”
“One day I'll give you my heart.”
“They say don't open old wounds, but I'm going to.”
“I think I could love you 'til the day that you die.”
“And if they said I had to, I swear I'd wait my whole life.”
“I've got nothing left to lose besides you.”
“I've already lost you once. What more could you do?”
Dead Weight
“So sick of being your giver, throwing my soul away.”
“Look what you started.”
“You're turning me heartless.”
“I'm trying my hardest.”
“I can't take it over and over.”
“Deadweight hanging off of my shoulder.”
“Nothing changes, I'm getting colder.”
“If I start cracking at the centre all this goes away.”
“I'm staying numb to my feelings.”
“My back is breaking from taking all of this dead weight.”
“Do you even notice how easy you got this?”
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True Detective Sentence Meme: Season One (another of my favorites, well, the first season at least.)
WARNING: Triggering content, NSFW content, religion/death/violence/sex/drugs/suicide mentioned. Lots of foul language
Regular Quotes
I'd consider myself a realist, alright? But in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist...
Oh, just a regular type dude... with a big ass dick.
People out here, it's like they don't even know the outside world exists. Might as well be living on the fucking Moon.
It's all one ghetto man.
Stop saying shit like that. It's unprofessional.
So what's the point of getting out of bed in the morning?
I tell myself I bear witness, but the real answer is that it's obviously my programming. And I lack the constitution for suicide.
Let's make the car a place of silent reflection from now on.
Can I ask you something? You're a Christian, yeah?
I know who I am. And after all these years, there's a victory in that.
Can you get pills pretty easy?
Listen, when you're at my house, I want you to chill the fuck out.
There's nothing I can do about it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but... I'm gonna have a drink.
Given how long its taken for me to reconcile my nature, I can't figure I'd forgo it on your account.
Hmm. That sounds God-fucking-awful.
Isn't that a beautiful way to go out, painlessly as a happy child?
Trouble with dying later is you've already grown up. The damage is done. It's too late.
I can be hard to live with. I don't mean to, but I can be... critical.
Sometimes I think I'm just not good for people, that it's not good for them to be around me.
Such holy bullshit from you. It's a woman's body, ain't it? A woman's choice.
Girls walk this Earth all the time screwin' for free. Why is it you add business to the mix and boys like you can't stand the thought? I'll tell you. It's cause suddenly you don't own it the way you thought you did.
Is shitting on any moment of decency part of your job description?
Nothing man, sorry, forget it.
You got some self loathing to do this morning, that's fine, but it ain't worth losing your hands over.
What's your deal?
I don't have "a deal".
You're kinda strange, like you might be dangerous.
Of course I'm dangerous. I'm police. I can do terrible things to people with impunity.
Now what do you mean exactly... these visions you mentioned.
Shiiiiit, just what have you two heard about me?
What the hell good is cake if you can't eat it?
You know, throughout history, I bet every old man probably said the same thing. And old men die, and the world keeps spinnin'.
What do you think the average IQ of this group is, huh?
Just observation and deduction. I see a propensity for obesity. Poverty. A yen for fairy tales.
I think it's safe to say nobody here's gonna be splitting the atom.
You see that. Your fucking attitude.
Not everybody wants to sit alone in an empty room beating off to murder manuals.
Yeah, well if the common good's gotta make up fairy tales, then it's not good for anybody.
Well, I don't use ten dollar words as much as you, but for a guy who sees no point in existence, you sure fret about it an awful lot.
I mean, can you imagine if people didn't believe, what things they'd get up to?
Exact same thing they do now. Just out in the open.
Bullshit. It'd be a fucking freak show of murder and debauchery and you know it.
If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward, then brother that person is a piece of shit; and I'd like to get as many of them out in the open as possible.
Well, I guess your judgment is infallible, piece-of-shit-wise.
You figure it's all a scam, huh? All them folks? They just wrong?
People incapable of guilt usually do have a good time.
Do you wonder ever if you're a bad man?
World needs bad men. We keep the other bad men from the door.
But I think I'm all fucked up.
You don't have to fall in love at first sight, you know.
Every time I think you've hit a ceiling, you, you keep raising the bar. You're like the Michael Jordan of being a son of a bitch.
Fuuuck! Hell of a bedside manner you've got.
Ahh, you know, being stupid is different than going in sick, and this is a bar, not a fuckin' bedside.
All the dick swagger you roll, you can't spot crazy pussy?
So, enough with the self-improvement-penance-hand-wringing shit. Let's go to work.
Oh God damn it, I am so done talking to you like a man.
What the fuck you think I want with you, huh?
I'm sorry. What are you suggesting, exactly?
I will skull-fuck you, you bitch!
This is none of my business... I don't want to hear it.
Do you know the good years when you're in them, or do you just wait for them until you get ass cancer?
What always happens between men and women? Reality.
Someone once told me time is a flat circle.
The newspapers are gonna be tough on you.
No, buddy, without me... there is no you.
Yeah. Fuck this. Fuck this world.
You know, people that give me advice, I reckon they're talking to themselves.
A man's game charges a man's price. Take that away from this, if nothing else.
I'm the person least in the need of counseling in this entire fucking state.
Thought maybe we should talk.
If you get the opportunity, you should kill yourself.
Hey, man, look. Why don't you just get out of here, please? I don't want to get arrested. Just - just get... before I do something to you.
I slept with someone... And you know him/her... You're close.
Oh... Now, what-what are you saying?... What - what are you - what the fuck are you saying to me?
Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at.
If you were drowning, I'd throw you a fuckin' barbell.
Why would I ever help you?
Hey. You better get those jumper cables ready, the motherfucker is lying.
Get on out of here, you're classin' the place up.
My family's been here a long, long time.
He ain't gonna talk with you.
I got a car battery and two jumper cables argue different.
A man remembers his debts.
Fuck, I don't like this place... Nothing grows in the right direction.
What happened in my head is not something that gets better.
Well you know what, I just got here; I was gonna leave, but then you woke up - Jesus, what's your fuckin' problem?
Not a care in the world.
I'm not supposed to be here.
Yeah... well, I'll come back by tomorrow, buddy.
Don't ever change, man.
Agh. Ah, fuck. Ah, he got me pretty good...
Do I strike you as a talker or a doer?
You'll rip out your fucking stitches. Stop it.
This is the place.
Everybody's got a choice, ____... Shit, I sure blamed you.
There you go... Everybody's got a choice.
It's hard to find something in a man who rejects people as much as you do, you know that?
Come die with me, little priest.
The DEEP SHIT™
I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution.
There can be a burden in authority, in vigilance, like a father's burden.
I think the honorable thing for our species to do is to deny our programming. Stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction - one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.
This place is like somebody's memory of a town, and the memory is fading.
I contemplate the moment in the garden; the idea of allowing your own crucifixion.
I don't sleep, I just dream.
You got kids? I think of the hubris it must take, to yank a sole out of nonexistence into this meat; a force of life into this thresher.
I know who I am. And after all these years, there's a victory in that.
Yeah, back then, the visions, yeah most of the time I was convinced... Shit... I'd lost it. But there were other times... I thought I was mainlining the secret truth of the universe.
I mean, it's like somethin's got your name on it, like a bullet or a nail in the road...
People... so goddamn frail they'd rather put a coin in the wishing well than buy dinner.
This... This is what I'm talking about. This is what I mean when I'm talkin' about time, and death, and futility.
They welcomed it... not at first, but... right there in the last instant. It's an unmistakable relief. See, cause they were afraid, and now they saw for the very first time how easy it was to just... let go.
All your life--you know, all your love, all your hate, all your memories, all your pain--it was all the same thing. It was all the same dream, a dream that you had inside a locked room, a dream about being a person.
And like a lot of dreams, there's a monster at the end of it.
You see, we all got what I call a life trap - a gene deep certainty that things will be different...
Nothing's ever fulfilled, not until the very end. And closure - nothing is ever over.
I have seen the finale of thousands of lives, man. Young, old, each one so sure of their realness. You know that their sensory experience constituted a unique individual with purpose and meaning. So certain that they were more than biological puppet. The truth wills out, and everybody sees. Once the strings are cut, all fall down.
In eternity, where there is no time, nothing can grow. Nothing can become. Nothing changes. So Death created time to grow the things that it would kill.
And you are reborn, but into the same life that you've always been born into. I mean, how many times have we had this conversation? Well, who knows?
When you can't remember your lives, you can't change your lives, and that is the terrible and the secret fate of all life. You're trapped by that nightmare you keep waking up into.
I can see your soul at the edges of your eyes. It's corrosive, like acid.
Sometimes... this feeling like life has slipped through your fingers... like the future is behind you, like it's always been behind you.
There's a shadow on you, son.
I saw you in my dream. You're in Carcosa now with me... He sees you... You'll do this again... Time is a flat circle.
There's no such thing as forgiveness. People just have short memories.
All my life I wanted to be nearer to God. But the only nearness - silence.
Some people, no matter where they look, they see themselves.
You see, sometimes people... mistake a child as an answer for something, you know, like a way to change their story.
Look, as sentient meat, however illusory our identities are, we craft those identities by making value judgments: everybody judges, all the time. Now, you got a problem with that... You're livin' wrong.
Once there was only dark. If you ask me, the light's winning.
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BREAKING BAD SENTENCE MEME: SEASON 1 (because this is still my favorite show of all time.)
Episode One
There are...there are going to be some things that you'll come to learn about me in the next few days.
So, how's it feel to be old?
How does it feel to be a smart ass?
Why are you here?
Honestly, I never expected you to amount to much.
There's a lot of money in it, huh?
Like I said, no one is looking for you.
I mean, if you're planning on giving me some bullshit about getting right with Jesus by turning myself in...
I'm thinking...maybe you and I could partner up.
You flunked me; remember?
Prick!
Why do you do it?
It's weird is all, okay? It doesn't compute.
Listen, if you've gone crazy or something; I mean, if you've gone crazy or depressed, I'm just saying that's something I need to know about. Okay? I mean, that affects me.
Episode Two
After we finish cleaning up this mess, we will go our separate ways. Our paths will never cross and we will tell this to no one. Understood?
Oh what, I can talk now?
Oh shit.
Are you smoking weed? Oh my God!
Wait a minute, is that my weed? What the hell, man?
God. I don't suppose you could kiss my ass?
He...sells me pot.
He sells you pot?
I don't know. I kind of like it.
Are you out of your mind? What are you, like sixteen years old?
I just...haven't quite been myself lately.
Yeah, no shit. Thanks for noticing.
I haven't been myself lately, but I love you. Nothing about that has changed, nothing ever will.
So right now, what I need is for you to climb down out of my ass. Can you do that? Will you do that for me, honey?
Will you please, just once, get off my ass, you know? I'd appreciate it, I really would.
Oh, now there's a load off my mind.
Good job wearing the pants in the family!
I'm sorry, what were you asking me?
Episode Three
I didn't ask for any of this!
How am I supposed to live here now, huh?
Because you didn't follow my instructions!
Oh well, heil Hitler, bitch!
We flipped a coin, okay? You and me. You and me! Coin flip is sacred!
So why are you telling me this?
'Cause I love you, you little bastard.
You getting to know me is not gonna make it any easier for you to kill me.
You know, you keep telling me that I don't have it in me. Well, maybe, maybe not. I sure as hell am looking for any reason not to. I mean, any good reason at all.
I guess I'd start off by promising that if you let me go, I won't come after you.
But you know that anybody in my situation would make promises like that, and though in my case they happen to be true, you'd never know for sure.
But you gotta convince me and you're going nowhere until you do.
You're doing the right thing, _____.
So you're not angry?
How do you mean? Angry? No. Live and let live, man.
That's very understanding.
Whatever, man. I just want to go home.
I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...
I don't know. Just...doesn't it seem like...something's missing?
What about the soul?
The soul? There's nothing but chemistry here.
Episode Four
So be on notice. We got new players in town. We don't know who they are, where they come from, but they possess an extremely high skill-set.
I have cancer. Lung cancer. It's bad.
You can't be serious. What the hell are you doing here?
I mean, no offense.
Who sent you? You wearing a wire? You setting me up?
What the hell's wrong with you?
So who did you tell about–
What are you, nuts?
Yeah, you know...what you call...a debrief? Maybe we could like...I thought we could debrief.
Yeah, after what happened, it just seems like the thing to do. Kind of, you know, talk about it. We can't talk to anybody else.
Get the hell off my property.
Go and don't come back. Now!
Right on, little bro! Making mad in-roads with the business community.
I just don't want emotions ruling us.
Then why don't you just fucking die already? Just give up and die.
Episode Five
Yo, why would you want this lame-ass job anyway? I mean, no offense.
Gotta prove to the man I'm rehabilitated
Cute, huh?
Alright, I've got the Talking Pillow now. Okay?
But...what I want...what I want, what I need, is a choice.
Sometimes I feel like I never actually make any of my own. Choices, I mean. My entire life, it just seems I never...you know, had a real say about any of it.
Then make the right choice, ____.
Episode Six
You got any issues with that?
Whatever, man.
No matter what happens, no more bloodshed. No violence.
When were you going to tell me?
Cancer. You got it, right?
I'm your partner, man. You should have told me. That's not cool, okay?
You got a problem with that?
I mean, I used to until you killed him.
I don't imagine I'll be here very long.
Why don't you start talking and tell me what you want?
Oh yeah, I remember that little bitch!
Woo! That's a brilliant plan, esé.
You got one part of that wrong.
Are you nuts?!
You got balls, I'll give you that.
Hey, what is that shit?
Episode Seven
Where...did that come from? And why was it so damn good?
Let me guess, you picked this place?
This is...This is like a...a non-criminal's idea of a drug meet.
So you do have a plan!
Yeah science!
So what's this stuff called again?
You're all right, man. You're all right. We're going to make a lot of money together.
Just remember who you're working for.
Like they don't already know that? Are you saying they're stupid?
No, I'm just...I'm just saying.
Oh yeah, so you're not saying they're stupid. So I don't understand. Are you saying that I'm stupid?
No, you're just speaking for me! Like I ain't got the goddamn sense to speak for myself! Is that it? Is that what you're doing?
Hey, why don't we just all relax, huh?
I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed. I'm relaxed.
Damn, man! Look at that! Look! Yeah, that's messed up!
Area 11 Sentence Meme; from all their released albums
All the Lights In The Sky (2013)
i. vectors
One day I will find you
I saw that you were lonely too
You reached out and you took me
I repressed that time
Everything that I forgot, I see it clearly
can’t you see that you’re losing your mind
A shot to the head leaves it all behind
I’ll tear you apart
Reach out your hands to catch me
reach out your hands and you tear me apart
But we are simply killing time
I wish I’d see inside your mind
I wish I’d seen inside you
Almost the same, but not enough
Never forgiven, but still in love
ii. euhpemia
Memories of fallen dreams and all those that have died.
Demons are possessing me.
I feel my hate take flight.
I'm choking on my own words and I'm scared of backing down
the hope within us all is up in flames
Twisted by my warring conscience.
The situation's pushing onwards.
This can't be, was this me?
I think I've lost control.
I caused this, I forced this,
Can I continue on?
I caused this, I forced this, I caused this!
Betrayed by trust, forever left to scream.
Oh hold me closely and die in my arms,
then take this secret with you.
I became your puppet master
This could fuel The Revolution!
This could be my last solution!
And all good victories come with a price.
Just take my secret with you.
iii. knightmare / frame
What is life but a burden for me?
All this anger, burning inside but buried deep
One step forward and two to the side, every single time
I fall asleep and I feel I'm falling
Nightmare comes without warning
I can't seem to sleep
In my dreams I feel I'm running towards her/his shining light
She/he shines for me
Just like glass I saw right through
Something I couldn't see until I changed my point of view
I cannot let you go
inside of me, the will to change the world
Can a mask be the face of reason?
You will answer, to the pieces left behind
Well I watched her/him die in your arms
Freed but they'll never understand
iv. tokyo house party
I know that this will never work out
So it shouldn't even start
Cause I'm just a kid at heart
And you know that it's such a waste
Cause I hate that bitter taste and your bittersweet embrace
I feel this has gone to my head
I'll never drink again
But fuck it, I don't care
I don't know what you came here for
This is where we are from (The town where nothing goes on)
Waiting for our own special moment to die
I got lost to find myself
I wanna be with you tonight
Cause everything's gone; it's been wiped out
I feel a change in the pace
I know I should run and I should fight
But the look in your eyes: I could die here tonight
Fear of failure, we're moving so slow
v. shi no barado
I saw your face in the LED's
It's something that I can never repay, but I will try anyway.
I sent a message I know you'd see
Now fate led you down a path to me
You're all I ever wanted
you can use me,
you can kill me
My body will be a fortress
I will keep you safe from pain
My losses are your gains
Together we can burn this to the ground, rebuild it into something right
I'm not afraid and I'm not alone because you're with me in my dreams
I won't give up on this perfect love
vi. cassandra pt. 2
Although it doesn't really matter now
You use me, and I use you
I'm your savior, you're my muse
The best friend that you been to me but I wanna be your enemy
You want a reaction
You wear a red dress when you're in a bullfight
You're drawing attention to your double life
In dreams, I'm coming to find you and when I wake I want anyone else.
'Cause I don't love you, It's what I'm telling myself
I’m hiding from you, ‘cause we are the same
Wait, just wait for me and I'll come around
My best friend that I've never seen
That's turned you into my enemy
No, it's all in my mind I feel
I should save myself before this gets too real
vii. the strays
I'd still cheer for you ten years down the line
Time stepped away from me
Stray from this boring dream
What must it be like with your world alight?
How could I stay here and rust when I'm set to explode?
You can outrun everything but the debts that you owe
I'm numb from the distance
If it's just the bored asking this kind of thing, where do we fit in?
Take what you want from it
We're the last ones left
Get the others and cut to the next Scene
To be truly free
Freedom comes not from, but through me
Do you remember when the stars were much higher?
You would try to count them all
But you grew tired - tired - tired
viii. dreams & reality
Dreams... are realities.
You mean so much to me
I can't forget the way, the choice that we made that day.
Is it worth the risk that we take?
Waiting and hoping from the side-lines
But this is our moment, it's our chance to shine.
'Cause this feels better than the best thing
'Cause we are stronger than anything
We've grown from all the things we've been through,
And they couldn't break us if they wanted to.
Your smile is brighter than the lights in the skies
wont you tell me what is real?
Lets write our names in history,
Let's make these dreams reality,
ix. heaven-piercing giga drill
you came and dug me up into a world full of violence.
So many faces, so many trials.
They won't stop our evolution.
Who do you think we are?
Fight against your execution.
Trust me and we'll fly, not fall.
Tip the balance to risk it all.
Together we can go so far.
All the lights in the sky are stars.
It follows everywhere I go.
It carries the hope of humanity, and everything we know.
Believe in me, who believes in you.
x. bōsōzoku symphonic
There's three parts to love, or so I believe.
There's a part of you you lose, and another you receive.
Here I break with the concept, though it's central to the piece.
Leave my mark on the canvas, that only you can see.
I deferred my happiness, for loneliness and time.
But once I'm where I wanna be, you'll be far behind.
And the chains that pull me down, slacken off when you're around.
And it's comforting to know
I'll rip out all the hooks from my skin so I can grow.
Sometimes I disagreed, just to hear you scream.
You were right, but I needed you to give emotion back to me.
I'm not leaving you, I'm not leaving you!
Underline (2014)
i. are you listening?
All aboard this sinking ship
No business here it's just relationships
Should this mean more to me?
Just join the tribe and feel accepted
But cool don't come for free
The rope that pulled me from the pit now hangs around my neck
Is this the clue you wanted? Too cryptic for the rest
Play the part of the victim if it puts your mind at ease
Put all the blame on me
So what you feel, is it nostalgia or love?
Tell me now, are you really listening?
When everybody tells you to stop, and that you’re never good enough; tell me now, are you really listening?
Reach out for help, and she lets you down
So gild your pockets, we'll watch you drown
Cause this means more to me
It's hard when all I see
Now we take control
We fade into hindsight
Can this be realized?
ii. in the blind
I redesign, I realign.
I redefine, and yet resign. My only hope: to feel.
And when I phased out the "privileged" and the "purpose" I realized that art can never true be separated
That should define who I will never be. Sorry.
Cause this is the new way
Still spinning cycles in my mind
Hold me back and keep me down!
Drop the weights, accept my fate, and trigger the explosion.
Now keep the faith as illusions break and we'll show you something real.
And when I reach out into event horizons will there be light and sound, or will it be just me?
iii. override (a)
Willing and wishing to break
This won't be over so soon
You'll claw yourself out of the womb
Are you willing to die? To be born in the spotlight?
I won't let you drown
Are you willing to die? To be something?
We patiently wait your return
Rejecting your pitiful life
You'll crawl on your hands and your knees
You'll feast on the fear you receive
And here in the alter you'll give your life for a reason to live
Are you ready to die?
Are you ready to die? To be more than they say you are?
You'll be a mistake
The child of the void and the ghost in the tape
Can the ego you've sculpted endure the escape?
I am willing tonight.
I am willing to die to be something; trigger the override
Modern Synthesis (2016)
i. override [C]
Lay the new foundations; reprise
Strange are the things that will come around
Return to the question, I'm willing to die
If this is real and this is anticipation
Know it in your mind, hear it once and now you bear the load
Are you ready for life?
Make a stand in afterglow
ii. the contract
You’ve spent a lifetime locked in the same mindset
You break the contract, and smile away your debt
I play for closure, through the fear and the thrill of the fight
Move a little bit closer, ‘cause you’re in for a jagged night
I close my eyes; a toxic calling
Just let it resonate, we call it suffering
We know just who to trust this time
I want you to give me what I need
Lay waste to your beliefs, rebuild yourself for me
I want you to come alive again
I feign obsession, and abbreviate my views
You're my possession, until I'm done with you
I want you to feel as I feel
I want you; submit yourself to me
Your body and your mind; give it willingly
Just sign the contract
iii. watchmaker
Serve or break the patterns that would be
Middle child of eternity
The creeping vines of anomie
I never wanted to believe
I never asked if I could stay
Switch the pressures you relieve
Sketching parallels to understand why I can't share your love
I’m only building what I meant to do so many lives ago
iv. versus
I dream of it; am I a psycho?
Watching you burn nothing else feels this perfect to me
“Hands in the air”; salute or surrender?
We adapt, mutilate, replicate and survive
But choose a side
The truth, the war; the rise, the fall
The virus in our heads that infects us all
Do you need it once more?
Can you remember what it is we’re dying for? (Fighting for?)
Little soldier, little girl/boy who used to love this fucking world
To love, to despise: such a fine line
The hardest strikes always land when hands are tied
The virus in our heads infects, manipulates our thoughts
v. processor
I took a chance to fly
I want no role in your altercation
I feel panic arise as rhetoric voices are feeding back again
Blocking out vitriolic accusations: Was I listening?
Because I want to be better on the inside
I want to be better on the outside
I fall asleep in the vestige I once called my home
I pray for you, abide with the hopeless
Regretting the choice but I can't turn away
The modern synthesis compels me to start again
I will have my way, I told you, I told you, I told you
As I dispersonalise I taste a real life
far from the pacifist you believe I exemplify
I am the fury, I am hypocrisy
The day I take control. The day you'll believe in me
The path back home, the path I'll show you
The path back home, where you'll wait for me, wait for me
vi. red queen
I said I don't mind, but you've touched a nerve
The way you frame it, well, I got all I deserved
Breathe deep and comfort the disturbed
In the cave you fear what would you find?
We played our hands together
You lose me in your blood chemistry
So we'd better try to match her/his speed
Toast to the red queen/king and all she has seen
Is it time to drink at your table?
We can only wait and watch for so long
Where you fall is not where you belong
Unify behind false enemies
Down other lines we would have been the same
Beauty fades but still my charm deceives
This night is shared and so we use each other ‘cause misery loves company
And so it goes again
A wasted day to vie for my affection
Soon you'll come undone
Can't fake a smile so they draw it on
vii. angel lust
how far did you deviate?
The bridge collapsed but you took the stone
From the ash an altar raised, you rebuilt your home
And cynics they will try to tempt and change our minds
We'll keep our faith alive, we'll raise our voices
And scream it from our hearts: God loves her/his children
we wait to receive a sign and the scraps of truth of what we believe
The passion, the pain, our bodies ache, we cry your name
viii. the life of a ghost
Living the life of a ghost, there is no comfort for the mind
Some sights we've tried to leave behind
Always looking backwards down the road
I will retain composure
Lost in thoughts of where I am
Stay 'til dawn, begin anew?
With all honesty I want to be selfless
To be human, but I'm beat and I'm worn-though
I'm lost tonight
I'm an ember, will you take my story?
Pull back the curtain and walk towards the truth
There is no comfort for the mind
ix. after the flags
Come on son do your country proud!
Lead us down to the ocean and wash our hands of campaigns for the self-assured now
Fading white in surrender and weary from the beating sun that blinds you
Take a hit for catharsis
Take a hit for them all
After the flags they're selling off the wall
I wanna die for a reason
I wanna kill for a cause
The fall won't kill but it's gonna hurt
do you watch just to wince at this?
we have been misled
Straighten out your fiction
As means to ends and ends to meaning guide you
After the flags I'm nobody at all
If I could reach you with reason
You set us up for a fall
After the flags you're nobody at all
x. nebula
This is my suffering, stuttering the words
As all I can see is you
Hey there you lost boy/girl, just look at what they've done to you
They've poisoned the well of your mind but you'll make it through
I'm falling to the call of you
To love just an action, we overplay and overdo
But now, there's no one beside me
They've fallen behind
xi. panacea and the prelogue
Wait inside
we'll talk a while
I didn't mean to let the years go by
Have we come to terms with the lesson that our fathers learned?
Everything goes away
I'd follow you, but not this time
I'm sorry that I let you down, let you down, a lifetime ago
I wanna say to all I leave behind, and to those I'll never find. That I need you to understand, understand, you're not on your own.
What you value, is it worth the time?
The only melodies that I could ever call mine were friendship and lust
Will I feel absolved at the moment when we have it solved?
Still it's never enough
Lines fade out, but you illuminate the path back home, the path you've shown me
all your friends / new magiks / everybody gets a piece (2018)
i. all your friends
Habits tend to crystallize
Did you waste it in the dark?
Why were you sure it was real?
you let all your friends tell you how to feel
The archetypes; the ideal will soon embrace you when you let yourself heal
Who are we to cauterise bleeding hearts that synchronise?
Did he/she waste you in the dark?
Choose your friends just to canonize you, as you let them fantasize
ii. new magiks
I'm watching the mirror crack to face my addiction
This all feels a little strange, (A life fearing fiction)
I better step outside
It's all fine, from the shoreline
The weight crushing down my heart, you don't want it, you don't wanna know
A head full of dying stars, the shoulders that bear the load
The wave crashes down on my heart
You don't wanna know
My mind's a rogue nation
Just look how we weaponise carnal accusation
It's all fine, a drop in the skyline
Make it hurt
Percolate emotion
Boys/Girls lost to the ocean drown
You were the bright newcomer
I fucked you up that summer
I didn't know, you let me know
my mind is loaded
iii. everybody gets a piece
In time you'll grow, I fucking hope
I'm outside looking in at all the time we're putting in
Think I know what it means
I won't say the right things just to open doors
Don't waste your time in the studio
I've been told to beg, steal and borrow
I'm told it's not the way to go
Nobody listens to the radio
Everybody gets a piece
Did you honestly say it might have been me?
But all this while did you think of me, you know
All this while, we were pure potential energy, dreaming
Don't ask, you'll never get
You never asked so you never got nothing
Did you get all you wanted from me?
You don't ask so you'll never receive
Can't lose when you're playing for free
I'm not even going in there Massive Blue October Sentence Meme
Part 3/3 ( one, two)
Feel free to edit pronouns and stuff. I may have changed a little to make the lyrics more conversational. Blue October is amazing and deserves more love! Triggers for self-harm and suicide! Also some sexual stuff.
Sway (2013)
Is there anybody here?
Breathe in......
that's not sand, it's salt it will get worn like we did before
I only wanna dance with you
It's time to get personal
These are ours
Feels great to be honest
Forget about the trouble
Forget about the drama
Cause I ain't Casanova
This time with you is just amazing in so many ways
That's how it use to be
Come on.... Dance with me
I'm here to show you faith, and to help you when you fall.
Can you feel my heart beating underneath these stars?
You're the Angel that came, and took these clouds away.
You made me believe!
Never be weak, be strong.
You are mine, and you will never have to be alone.
I love you like I never loved anyone.
I'll carry you home.
'Cause now I'm here to keep you safe
Only you can see the true me
the best has yet to come.
You've given me the strength to believe in my heart again!
Will you ever, ever let me off my knees?
Will I bleed out?
You know where to cut me with your eyes closed
It won't be long til this heart stops beating
So don't let me bleed out here alone
It all comes back to me
I keep trying to heal your pain
In return, you cut me over and over
I finally feel like I'm supposed to be
Don't you take this moment away from me
before you kill me won’t you look back in my eyes and watch me
So embrace the one you can't replace
She's the only woman
It's ok
All my life been running from a pain in me
A feeling I don't understand is holding me down
I don't have to fall apart
I don't have to be afraid
I don't have to let the damage consume me
My shadows see through me
'Cause fear in itself will reel you in and spit you out
Believe in yourself and you will walk
And now fear in itself will use you up and break you down
The beauty is I’m learning how to face my beast
Are you ready for bed?
Let me clear my head.
I've got something to talk to you about
I think it's going to be one of those nights where we sit up and talk awhile
I've something on my chest.
And I don't know how to tell you this, but I, I think I'm falling in love with you.
I promise I'll never leave.
I'll stand right by you.
I swear I won't betray you.
I used to act like a soldier
I never even picked up a gun
I used to dress like a hooker
I used to think I was a looker
I took it all the way full throttle ‘til I lost control
I used to think I had flavor
I used to think I was a savior
Whose to say whose to say that we'd never really go far.
I used to follow you down
I am the only one to blame.
I never knew my life could be remarkable
I know that I could live like this forever
Everybody's saying that it’s possible
I’m never gonna give up
Remember what abuse did
I can't explain the way I feel inside
I’m gonna light you up
You can't admit your poison
I said I wouldn’t fail you
I’m sick as all my secrets that’s why this hurts
I’m never ever gonna treat you wrong
So tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your family that I’m beyond the unreasonable sinking ship
You want to be somebody’s somebody
You caught my eye
So I say let that shit go and take control
Baby you can take every piece of me
I know that I’m safe
I know exactly what the fuck I’m doing
I know my life is beautiful
How am I suppose to let you go?
Can you tell me that you're real so I can really know?
But I can't stop thinking how you just keep making sense of all that was broken before
with you I'm not broken anymore
You're the ship that kept me afloat
I'm not broken anymore
Home (2016)
I know where I'm going and I know where I've been
There's not a limit to the things that I'd do
I'd give you stars but the stars wouldn't do
I wanna hold you up, higher than most
I guess we’re standing right where we belong
We’re never gonna look back so we just drive
I never knew this side of me
I never felt like this before
You make my heart go bang
I know that we’ve only begun
Lay with me, we don’t need anything
I will never leave you
I refuse to ignite
I won't walk away
I'm here to stay
we are who we are and we'll be who we'll be
Don't ever think you'll take away the fight in me
I want it more than you ever did...
I'm never gonna stop
Here's to the ones who said that you couldn't win
I'll smile if I want to
I'm not afraid, gonna flaunt it too
I'm living for the right now
I can't wait to see what's around the corner
I feel like I'm gonna win
And I'm as proud as I've ever been
We found our home
I'll be there to wipe your tears
I never knew you felt this way
I wish I could've seen your pain
I would've never let you walk away
How could I let it get this far?
Tell me what you're going through
But please stay with us
I see your heart light fade
I know you're hiding in the woods
I want my friend back.
As long as you're with me we can move on
As long as you're here I'm the lucky one...
How do we do this on our own
Where do we go when life gets oh so emotional
I'm the lucky one and I'll be that way forever
If I could be good enough, then I would be blown away.
'cause something doesn't feel right.
You have to start somewhere; despair won't wear wherever again.
I think it's time we shake it up
We've been here for centuries
Let's see whose flame burns brighter
Let's see who is ready to quit
Let's talk about where you come from
We want the same thing but it just ain't good enough
You know nothing about me
You're always gonna doubt me
I believe this is my life
Look forward to the break down
Time changes everything
Fake it till you make it
If you live like someone's watching you you'll be the egg that never broke
No more screaming, "someone save me"
I never needed to win. I never needed anything
I never needed to win at all
I will stand here in awe
I Hope You’re Happy (2018)
Everybody has a secret, real pain that they all conceal
All I wanted was a brand new start
Come party with me in the daylight
I wear a mask in the spotlight
I'm not even going in there
I'm afraid it would tear us apart
Your baby is a monster
You don't know the things I've done
You don't know what I've become
Well, I think of you as comfort
Could you love me?
All in all I'm not the same
I try to tell you everything, all of the things I've done
And I'm scared to tell you everything
Would you let me come back home?
I need to tell you thank you 'cause I think that you're the one
You don't see what goes on in me or all the damage that I've done
Love me, and hold me, and hug me, take me back
Love me, forgive me, and hold me
Where you go I'll follow
We ain't gonna get back together
I don't give a shit who you are
I'm never gonna feel like I am nothing so I'm never gonna be your star
So I think I'm beautiful and I like it that way
I'll do me, you do you
I'm gonna turn my life into something great
one day you'll regret this
And I don't care what you say and I don't care who you are
There will be days when you're falling down
They're never gonna hold you back
I'm always gonna have your back
I hope you're happy. I hope you're good
I hope you get what you wish for and you're well understood
I remember that Saturday night. Do you?
And whatever your progress, I know you'll be fine
I remember when the world was ours to take
You'll always have a piece of me
I remember how we tried and we tried. I remember everything
Yeah, we should be owning all our own personal goals
I'd like to know why you're preaching. I'd like to know where it goes
I've learned the best thing you can do is show 'em that you're happy
Feel free to edit pronouns and stuff. I may have changed a little to make the lyrics more conversational. Blue October is amazing and deserves more love! Triggers for self-harm and suicide! Also some sexual stuff.
Foiled (2006)
Once so hard to speak, now so easy to play around
I was hypnotized
You make me smile
And could you be the one that's not afraid to look me in the eye?
Hey, we can hide the bodies on the ride home
I'll be reaching for the stars with you
Who cares if no one else believes
I'm your ride home
Cause we're going home
Yeah we won
I'm just a normal boy
Wish I was much more masculine
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
I wanna swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I calculate what I had done
My will to quickly end it all set front row in my need to fall
Into the ocean, end it all
I would meet you
Would you meet me?
I'm glad to say that we've met, but I'm sad to say that the circumstances weren't on our side
It's like a last chance for a first dance
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you loved me, just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
Hate me today. Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways... Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
I'm sober now for three whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind and do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Make it go away!
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
How can you do this to me?
Why do I feel this way?
How could I let it go?
How could I let her go?
Would you like to take a walk with me
My mind, it kind of goes fast. I try to slow it down for you
I want to give you something I've been wanting to give to you for years. My heart
My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me
I came to see the light in my best friend
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been
My chance of being open was broken
And now you're Mrs. him.
And I can't change this
I can never take it back
But now I can't change your mind
Make it go away. Please.
I walk as far as they need to recover
I want to carry a piece of who I was before So when I hit the wall, I really hit the wall
I owned up, I've grown up, do you remember me?
I showed up and so what if I'm the used to be
But I'm happy that you're happy
This is no longer about me
I been a drunk disrespectful little street punk
There's a self-destructive meaning in the bleeding of a guy
Making sense of all mistakes and my stupidity
And when you're sick you seem to think you've failed eternally
I'm really sick of saying sorry but I will
I want to learn to walk with others as an equal
I want to treat the ones who love me with respect
I want to kiss a girl and know I'll never lie again
Still you try to control it
Could you imagine the phobia?
Your brain is faulty wiring
I'm sick of shaking, never waking from the hell I achieve
I never knew you till you left me with the crying disease
Yeah your memory that punches me has broken the bone
I'm admitting I'm wrong
And now you're pulling out the best of me
Its proof to show that I bleed for this and I'd cut myself the shame to get to know this masochist who has stolen my first name
I never knew a heart could live inside the rust from all your rain
I didn't think to bring a wash cloth and rub away the dirt
Myself and I we share this barely beating heart of hurt
I want to show you just how fascinating kissing is
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
I swear on everything I have and more
I am toasting to the way you put that smile upon my face
Please take the message that I'm picking up my chin at last
I said my confidence, It gets stronger when you're next to me
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
Still missing you
But you're my everlasting friend
Please take the message that you taught me how to live at last
Will you be coming home?
I just want to know that you'll be coming
Is this happening?
I can't believe this is happening to me
I'm so yours for the taking
These words to say and then you kissed me...
Approaching Normal (2009)
It's gone wrong again. Gone fucking wrong.
Well liars they leave a guilty trail.
I've been lying for fucking years.
Now you've seen what I've done
How did I get here?
Just fucking thump his head and he'll turn back to normal.
Now why is that what I see?
Don't bother trusting me
Don't bother waiting
Don't bother changing things that won't give into changing
Just let me go away
It's all about making the best out of everything
You'll know when you're fine
You get back up and you're doing fine
But I don't have the time for your distorted esteem
Why are you toying with my mind?
I don't wanna hear you say it
Now you're messing with my pride
You think you're smarter than me
Well everyone knows you will never be smarter than me
Well I confess, you were too much stress
Well, I'm sick of standing in your line
I will never let you fuck me over
Stop talking down to me your war is old
Your game is over
Something we don't talk about
I'm like a ghost
What a fucking sad way to go
Your mother raised you as a joke
You think you own me. You should have known me
You took the future and the food off my family's plate
You think you'll use me. I'm stronger than you
You take my money, but it's useless when you see what I do to you
Look what I do to you
I really think that this is fun for the money
I'll make it comfy for the time wasted making you rich
finally you're mine
I dreamt you seduced me just to walk away
I dreamt you inspired then rewired what I say
But then I woke up feeling nauseous
how long have I been down?
I dreamt you called me beautiful then asked to hear me sing
Why can't we work when we both try?
I meant to sympathize I meant to be a friend
I know apologizing wont erase the end
But I learned that moving on, is where I must begin
Because when our colors mixed we couldn't fix the way they wouldn't blend
And I wish that only greatness follow you around
I hope to God, you find a way to keep from down
Please try to understand, yeah to understand me
Will you think of me, in time?
It's never my luck, So never mind.
I had a dream that you were with me
it wasn't my fault
I've never been here before
And yeah I've lost a lot of what I never expect to ever return
I can try to be with you, but some how I'll end up just losing a friend
I'm losing my friend...
Where did she go?
Will you let me into your heaven?
Stop staring, you're the reason I feel so unhappy all the time
Look I'm sorry if you feel like I let you down
Can you tell me what have I done so wrong to you
Tell me what am I supposed to do
I should be loved by you, that I know is true
I can't breathe when you're around!
You're too scared, scared of all of it
I get that feeling I'm talking to the wall
Can you hear me at all?
I got a feeling you're falling out of love with me
Tell me who am I supposed to be?
Here it is the day, I have to go
Here it is the day I have to go
I can't let this show, how sick I feel to leave you so alone
God, I'm terrified
The dust has blinded you, the dust has blinded me
Because we have to live
Tell me you've used all precautions known
Cause if I believe in you, will you believe in me
Keep hanging on
Start healing
I really need to talk with you
I don't feel perfect at all. Sad and insecure and flawed
I find it hard to hold conversations
I'm wondering will it ever go away...just go away
Sometimes I feel like weeping, Awake and when I'm sleeping
How long will I be picking up pieces?
It feels like my heart is made of pure steel. It's just so heavy all the time
Yeah I'm scared of death and I'm scared of living
I gave up on the past cause it's unforgiving
Be strong ! Don't give up hope
You have to hold your head up high and watch all the negative go by
Don't you ever be ashamed to cry! You go ahead!
I want to tell you that everything will be okay
Don't lose yourself or your hope
I'm asking help me
Time to shake these memories
It's time to leave the past in the past
How far will I go to make it feel right?
Come home
I have to fix this on my own
Replace my heart, cause I'm convinced mine broke the day I let us end
I don't wanna live by coping, I'm done with hoping.....
Any Man In America (2011)
Do you feel it fall or do you feel at all? I can.
I can't be anything but who I am
I wish you'd stay
No I would never have let go
You used to make me feel at home, you made me feel at home, you made me feel again
And you would say I wish you'd stay and I'd never go
So take this heart of mine. You've taken it a hundred thousand times
I wish you'd have stayed
You want a separation
I tried everything, I work so hard for you
I put my heart in a dream
You never learned one thing, no, you never believed in me...
I missed the tour where you told me not to come home again
You bury your intentions like motherfucking nuclear bomb
You promised change and I believed. I walked right back into the same .
So if you're gonna leave me ‒ go away
Just remember I've told you it's what I'm all about
Maybe we should run away
Maybe we should disappear
Through understanding, I tried forgiveness,
I faced the past, it's what I witnessed
Why do I only feel the chills when I'm with you?
Why does a heart always have to break
Now there will be nothing to talk about,
I only note the truth is spoken best when brutally so honestly.
You had meaning to me
I was losing custody
I never even saw that shit.
I should have hid that shit
It took twenty years of working just to earn that shit
Like you don't know.
You act like you believe it. That you're in control.
They don't think about you
No, they don't care about you.
And I tried to focus all my anger in my work instead.
But inside my soul is dead.
Literally they took her from me.
Fuck the judge. Fuck that county. Fuck your family too.
I'm way too strong
I work my ass off all day long.
I hate you, hate you, god.
You won't understand, probably never will.
Did he really get to take you home?
I'm surprised that you chose him.
I'm not surprised I never saw you around.
So who does this separation work for?
It's not about the feelings that we shared before.
Gah, no more.
What did you want me for?
You'll be sorrier when I'm gone.
Look I give you credit for pathetically thinking that you could make this up.
I should have seen the end was coming sooner than I ever did.
I found things that I didn't wanna know were there
I don't wanna give you my heart
No one's ever told you "no"
Can't expect you to know how to love when it was somethin' you were never taught
Just be good to yourself and love goes unspoken
I'm gonna keep it up
But nothing helped at all
And you're not listening to what I say
Communication has not made its way to your agenda for today
We're gonna have some problems, though
Leave that shit at your door
You don't get the point
You can't have me tonight, tomorrow night, the next day
You're not my fucking problem
I'm gonna win this conversation
Yeah, I truly believe you fucking ruined us all
Don't be concerned, that's just the power of a breaking heart... How good am I hiding it?
How good am I hiding it?
Look, I've got some bad intentions. Guilty as fucking charged.
I know that God exists. I held her in my arms.
I never knew I was able to ever feel this strong.
Take me off your worry list, it'll be better that way.
I might've been gone but I never walked out.
what kind of man would take the trust you break... and still follow through.
I'm just sick of calling your bluff.
I'm trying hard to change the things I always screw up.
But I've got to make the best of it.
There's something wrong here... Nobody's at home.
This is what your story's about.
My pretty little girl, can you figure it out?
Just listen to the stories. Not everything is glorious.
I fought the world and I lost that bout
And you are what my album's about.
Pride. It leaves you hollow
You know you should accept it
You're everything I ever want to be
Yeah that's what I do
Yeah I follow through
We never found the line between the real and pretend
Feel free to edit pronouns and stuff. I may have changed a little to make the lyrics more conversational. Blue October is amazing and deserves more love! Triggers for self-harm and suicide! Also some sexual stuff.
The Answers (1998)
But to picture the pleasure is making me want my space.
God wrapped you like a bow.
If what you're seeing is an open book, that's great 'cause I'm an open book.
But I'm real shy.
There's a part of me seeking and desperately needing to open up.
That's strange 'cause I'm an open book, a confused boy/girl.
I'm an automatic steeple for depressed and lonely people.
But the only funny thing is that I don't know how to give myself advice.
I've got to learn to live and dream before I go and get myself in love.
Makes me appreciate how the little things are
Yeah, I'm really clean if you know what I mean
But I'm really not that scared
An anniversary of not being strong enough
He/She loves the winter, but it smells too much like memories
So say farewell to all the little things she would say and do
You're much to co-dependent. A shrink is recommended
who are the people you hang around with?
Who are the ones you're gonna call? When you feel like ending it all?
But I can't bring you down
And I smell the coffee on your fingers
You gotta make her/him know how it feels to miss you
You're not the one with all the problems
You're the one with all the pride
Walk the coolest walk that you know
I've learned a lot from all these break ups and make ups and fuck ups and fake ups
I ended the book that I'm writing.
There's nothing left to even read about.
I'm leaving you here my darling,
I changed up the words to make you happy though.
I've noticed the things that you wanted me to be, they outweigh the ones that make me happy.
So pull out your hand to meet my fine new lady, She's rock n' roll, and she saved me.
I'm so scared to make another mistake in the end
But I just want to be happy again.
Until it all falls down, and where does that leave me?
I can't sleep without the thought of me being so, so damn sick.
Believe you can shine when you're silver, and I promise you gold.
And whenever you're dark inside, don't let go.
And remember I love you the same and I'll strangle you're pain
God, I'm so alone
But I really didn't know him at all.
I shout out.... I got love for the family.
So don't lecture me.
My weaknesses, rear their ugly faces on a day to day basis.
I'm feeling small, tall and sick of it all.
But I can't seem to fly away.
What a sick enchanted view
I've got no vacancies
I kicked and screamed
You won't feel a thing
And who would've thought a cup of coffee would make my legs unstable
And would it really kill you if you would try to have a good time instead of screwing up mine. Like you usually do
This song we started, will it ever end?
You fell asleep again
Well goodbye
Hold on to me, you are the closest thing I've ever had to a real friend
Tomorrow , I'm gonna find a way to die
I'm living only for a lover
Will you cry from all the drugs I took
We're gonna find a place to live
Oh fuck the world
If you're brave enough to hold my hand
Have you ever been so lonely, no one there to hold?
It is not that I am scared to learn, why I'm empty inside.
hold my hand or show some concern, if I live or die.
Help me look inside.
The thought of ending it soon...
Just let me sleep in my room.
Don't come in!
Leave me alone. Just go away.
I want to belong...to someone... But maybe life's not for everyone
Consent To Treatment (2000)
I still want the girl that really caught my eye.
I'm finally happy
I deal with the fact that I've forgotten the worst.
I feel that my social behavior may seem somewhat unrehearsed.
And I'll be back to my normal self.
I apologize to the people I hurt on the way.
I want you to, to kneel all day
Scream if you want to cause no one is around
How I love to hate you!
You're not so brave. When I'm the snake, and you're my prey
It's a good thing to know as you walk into group for the show
But still nonetheless alone
I learned quick. Knew what to say
God keep him safe from screaming voices
They actually knelt down and prayed for me
Does self abuse extend your hospital stay?
I think I'll lie a bit
I won't cry over anything at all
You've got to take it kind of slowly
You've got to hurry up and make your move
I keep falling all around this fairy tale.
I never thought I'd smile so much
The first kiss always says the most
Everyone should know that
I won't be strong and I won't brave
Because you don't treat me the right way
I won't be apart of this drawn out game
I've got the mood that seems to scare you.
I'm paranoid, self destroyed.
Believe me lord I'm sorry
I've got the mood that seems to bury you
I've got the nightmare called... Schizophrenia
I cry. I cry and I don't know why.
The fever becomes my home.
I love it when you're holding me.
You have a gentle way of calming.
I bet you're waiting for a long sob story of how I was mistreated again.
I was strong but desperately brave.
And I didn't mean to scare you
It's just a trip not a way to ease your pain
This is not a way to ease your pain
Self help, tell another shrink the same damn thing
Stay cool, everything is going to be OK
Until you decide to drop again
You must be broken by a thousand ways of wasting time
Get to the point
But I seem to think more than I act upon most things.
Do you ever wonder how hard you hit?
You broke my thunder
The sad detail is all the promises that I make.
I'm sick of living without you in bed
I will never be with you.
Look me in the face What do you see?
I feel like a boy the age of 13
How do you tell an angel that you don't believe in God?
Why do I feel like such a stranger
I look around and all my friends are gone
Why does this seem like such a bother?
To scared to ask for help
You're better than any midnight sex
I can't stop cause if feels too good
I won't stop but I know I should
Cause I can make you laugh, if he makes you scream
If he breaks you, tell me everything
Cause here we are alone again
I wish I could go to sleep and wake up with amnesia and try to forget the things I've done
I wish I knew how to keep the promises I made you
But life, I guess it goes on
When I was young I was stung and somehow lost God's faith
But I'm wishing this amnesia would kick in
History For Sale (2003)
Able to breathe a sweet relief now that you're here with me
Now I'm recovering
I only want you to see my favorite part of me
You can't know, yet you have to know
I only want you to see my favorite part of me and not my ugly side
I look for you to light my heart
I know... I can't be far
Because I want to fall in love with you
Believe in heroes
It is you that took my first away from me
It is you I set my standards to... to every walk of life
I haven't met another you since you were with me.
I freaked out, thinking people didn't love me
I watched closely as the you I knew forgot me
In letting go, I am so proud of what I've done
In a way, I failed religion
I reached for something more than just your God
There's no forgiveness for you! You sick fuck!
I'm so in love with you, you'll never take that away
expect me to be calling you to see if you're OK when I'm not around.
Do I try too hard to make you smile?
I can't believe you actually picked me
I thought that the world had lost it's sway
It's so hard sometimes
You take away the old; show me the new
And I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you
I changed my color for you
I lack the beauty you display
Here comes excuses why I let you down
How do I ask you this? Will you help me through?
I'm sorry for the way I treated you
I'm stuck in my ways to just run
It's getting more impossible to keep a straight face and be trusted with “I love you”.
Don't trust my words when I'm in the bed with you
Can you show me how to treat someone? I don't recall ever learning how
I keep fucking up
I'm in pain but I won't let you Band-Aid my wound
Give me a quiet mind and I...I love you
Give me strength to be kind.
Still hearing voices... From front... From behind. They're the reasons I choose... When to live... How to die...
I'll ask permission for the wrong to win
Got to get back up but at your own pace
Look strong; like you belong cause you do belong
Whether right or wrong you belong
I'm on your side, if you fail at least you tried
Yeah we only want to sing when we want to
Yeah we only want a dream we can flaunt to
I only wanted to be somebody, so fucking bad, I came unglued
So you caught me! Wishing I were better than the rest
You hit me and left bruises on my chest
Now you know how it feels to drop the ball
I should have won, but how?
Who let the loser win?
Let's let the losers win!
I want you to come closer
Come dancing with devils
Our souls become useless
But still, the truth remains lethal
I really do
How am I supposed to breathe?
So I make you my religion, my collision, an escape goat
So have I found your secret weak spot, baby?
Can you pretend I'm amazing?
I can pretend I'm amazing...
Can you pretend I'm amazing instead of what we both know?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I’m sure most people know how to do this by now, but this is how you make circle icons!
i. Start with a blank file, I usually use 100x100 or smaller for icons and 200x200 for dash icons.
ii. get your picture. after that, you change your selection too from ‘square’ to ‘elliptical’
iii. hold shift to make a perfect circle and drag to select the area you want. Make sure you don’t select off of the image because that edge won’t be round
iv. swap back to the blank icon project and paste your selection
v. resize your circle and make it fit into the template
vi. click ‘save as’ and change the format to ‘png’ so the background will stay transparent. i always save with my png options on default, aka ‘smallest/slow’ and no interlace
Who told you to 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 me all Ⱥłønɇ?
Leave me in the 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌?
Leave me in the 𝕔𝕠𝕝𝕕?
Who told you to 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 before I could show
You half of the 🇲 🇦 🇳 you wanted to know?
Chiaki Nanami icons, taken from the Super Danganronpa 2 Anthology. 100x100 with no effects. Credit not required, but appreciated. I take icon requests.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
So, starting like now… I’m accepting graphics requests. I can make icons and simple theme backgrounds. As well as aesthetic boards, moodboards, or anything really. All I ask is that you consider donating to me if you really like what I made you. You can reblog this for a signal boost or whatever, but I would really love if some people considered requesting me here, on my main roleplay blog, or on my musing blog.
I’m not charging for my stuff, but I really would love for you to donate if you like my content. I’ll have some examples below of different kinds of edits I’ve done.
