Something Rotten Starters pt. 1
Welcome to the Renaissance
“Can’t say that we’ve really missed them.”
“That was so Middle Ages.”
“Welcome to the Renaissance.”
“Here we’ve made advances in the sciences.”
“We have the latest gadgets and appliances.”
“They’re all a bunch of heathens.”
“Hey look there’s ___ with a chicken.”
“He’s just so freakin’ awesome!”
“Oh god I hate Shakespeare.”
“That’s right, I said it!”
“That bastard doesn’t care that my poor ass is getting numb.”
“It’s easy I can say it ‘cause it’s absolutely true!”
“Aw, geez, you sound just like him!”
“You should hate Shakespeare!”
“I try to emulate Shakespeare.”
“Well, there’s your problem.”
“Why is it a problem to admit that I’m a fan?”
“The man really knows how to write a bitchin’ play.”
“I think by now we sort of know you hate Shakespeare.”
“If you ever got trouble I would be there on the double just to bail you out.”
“If there’s anything you lack you know I’ve always got your back.”
“Think of me as your sidekick, helping you whenever I can.”
“I’m more than just a woman, baby.”
“Let me be your right hand man!”
“Ugh! You’re not hearing me!”
“If you’re ever in a pickle you can call for me and quick’ll be how fast I run.”
“You and me should be a team.”
“But to just be a pretty lady would be a pity, baby.”
“I’m stronger than you think.”
“Don’t be thinking I ain’t tough.”
“I am where you oughta go when the going’s getting rough.”
“Quit trying to protect me.”
“Can we change the subject please?”
“If you’re ever in a fix and it’s a fix you need to nix then I’m your go-to guy.”
“And don’t forget I’m not a shrinking violet, a solid rock am I!”
“There’s no problem that’s too big.”
“So don’t be a sexist pig!”
“Is it asking too much of you? It’s only cause I love you”
God, I Hate Shakespeare (Reprise)
“I guess I hate the fact that he is everything I ever dreamed that I could be.”
“I mostly hate the way he makes me feel about… Me.”
“I’ve gotta make it happen.”
“Gotta find that pot of gold.”
“If there was just some way to know just what the future holds.”
“What the hell are musicals?”
“Well that is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard!”
“Who on Earth is going to sit there while an actor breaks into song?”
“What possible thought could the audience think other than ‘this is horribly wrong’?”
“I don’t know, I find it hard to believe people would actually pay to see something like this.”
“You could go see a tragedy, but that wouldn’t be very fun.”
“Or go see something more relaxing and less taxing on the brain.”
“And people actually like this?”
“What the hell are you doing now?”
“The Black Death, it’s gonna get you.”
“That pesty little pestilence is killing half of Europe.”
“The candlelight ignites my desire to read.”
“To find a perfect rhyme is not an easy thing-ly”
“I love the places that words let me go.”
“I love the way that your words move me so.”
“No words have touched me the way that yours do.”
“Wait. That didn’t sound right.”
“I love that you feel the same way I do.”
“Is it good to see me or what?”
“I am the will of the people now.”
“In fact, I’d like to feel you a little later.”
“Glorious? Do you mean me? Well I can be.”
“There’s a fever going round.”
“Oh that is music to my ears.”
“Thank you, I like that one too.”
“I am the hard-working bard you regard.”
“I am the man you wanna see.”
“Where there’s a will there’s a way.”
“Parting is such a sweet sorrow!”
“You’re such a wonderful writer, and your talent is beyond compare.”
“You are a star, you are, and you couldn’t be brighter.”
“Now you’re just embarrassing me!”
“Man I’m gonna sizzle, man I’m gonna pop.”
“If gratitude were food I’d have a big plate full.”
“You’re the greatest, you’re the man.”
“Now we’re handing the crown down to you.”
“If you want to make it to the top, then you’re gonna have to go through me.”
“I will not be giving up that easily.”
“I’m gonna enjoy it when I knock you off your perch.”
“My accomplishments are much more accomplished than yours.”
“You can’t be best because I am the best.”
“I never thought that I would meet my equal but I concede that I’ve been bested by the best”
“Oh my, how the tide has turned.”
Welcome To The Renaissance (Reprise)
“Now the stage is set for a huge response.”
“Got to give the audience what it wants.”
“What’s a famous bard to do?”
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