(dammed.)

                                          S H O W T I M E

                       ❤ & ↺ if interested in writing with joker from persona 5

  the trees in inokashira park were starting to change color. from green to orange and brown. vibrant to dull. he could kind of relate. a world that seemed to speed by around him at one point almost seemed to twist at his fingertips. like he could easily wrap it around a finger and control it. the power to reshape society. to save people. to change the world. it seemed so impossible at first, but recently the idea felt real. as the others worried about fame and popularity, akira had become distant. his goal remained unchanged. he only wanted people to believe in the phantom thieves because he wanted them to feel protected. he wanted people to know they could rely on them to ease their burdens. but slowly, the string from his fingertips slipped away. and now he found it wrapped around his throat. 

  it was funny, when he first got to tokyo, he only ever heard that he was some evil criminal in school. constantly, people whispered. and now, it’s the same. they just don’t know it’s him they’re talking about. he can’t get the image out of his head. okumura’s death. it was like a bad dream. and for a long time, he wondered. what had he messed up? why? what had he done wrong? was it because of the self-destruct on the spaceship? had they gone too far? the guilt weighed on him. he was a piece of shit, sure... but he didn’t want to kill him. he didn’t want to put haru through that. and now... he isn’t even sure he can trust her. or anyone. if the police talk to the others, what will they say? nothing on purpose, but mistakes could happen. what about mishima? he still believes in them, but it was likely he could slip up. 

 his mind raced at all times. every single person could be watching him. everyone who knows the truth could turn on him. he can’t sleep. he can barely eat. the guilt and fear morphed into something he couldn’t handle. and he can’t even talk to morgana. it would just worry him and the others. he was the leader. he had to be strong. he had to be sure. but he wasn’t. he was just a dumb kid that was in over his head. 

 and now, kasumi had invited him out. she knew the truth and she didn’t even like the phantom thieves. did she think he killed someone? he was jumpy. worried she may have called the cops. despite the fact that he trusts her. he knows she wouldn’t hurt him. but something in his mind keeps replaying a scene of him being arrested. he rests his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. calm down... he tries to take slow breaths. he knew the risks when he started doing this... and yet here he was. 

 when he hears soft footsteps close by, he raises his head up. he doesn’t get up from his seat, but he does look at her. he wishes he had the strength to even force a smile, but it doesn’t come. he just hopes she doesn’t notice how worried and sleep deprived he looks.