PAINKILLERS;

noah just shook his head, not wanting to carry on arguing; especially when he was just lying to try and hurt her. but even if he was mad at her, and she was saying things that would hurt him. or doing things that scared him. noah didn’t want to hurt his little sister. not when the whole world was out to get her as well. “why can’t you just… not do things to get yourself hurt.”

“because!” a scream echoes off tall trunks, the younger girl standing shaking amongst the greenery. a sight so fragile, something no one had ever seen. “i can’t just stop noah. its not how things work. i need to get high, i need to have something to stop all these fucking feelings in my head.” voice cracks as anger flares up and fist meets with the nearest tree trunk causing a dull thud. “i can’t.”

“well i would have rathered come down here without you.” he muttered, though that wasn’t true. it was just his way of hurting her. to make her feel as hurt as he felt right now. to feel disappointed and upset. “then i wouldn’t be constantly looking out for you and making sure you didn’t go get yourself high and end up dead in a river somewhere.”

“then screw you.” she hissed overhearing his muttered words. she may be high but she was still capable of picking up things. eyes shoot daggers in his direction before she decided to set off in the opposing direction. “i’d rather end up high and dead in a river than be the burden you hate carrying. “

“they left you out here to get eaten alive. or killed by a grounder.” he muttered, keeping his grip tight on her arm as he lead her along the forest ground. he didn’t have time for this. not when they were trying to survive down here and kassia was happy to go off and get herself into a whole other world of danger. “i didn’t realise you were five years old. no wonder mum used to be so exhausted all the fucking time.”

at the mention of their mother kassia tore her arm from his grasp, unable to fight the anger bubbling inside of her. ‘ fuck off noah. ‘ she hissed venomously. the addiction wasn’t easy to fight, or maybe she was just weak but whatever it was didn’t mean noah had to remind her of how she caused her mother strife. ‘ i’d rather be killed by a grounder than put up with your judgemental ass. ‘

he let out a deep sigh as he realised that she wasn’t all that there. the boy could see her wide eyes and dilated pupils, and the way she spoke was the dead give-away that she’d eaten something… taken something. the boy reached for her arm and dragged her to stand, feeling the anger bubble up and take over the fear. “you can’t even be trusted to go exploring.”

she stumbles along the mossy ground as her brother pulls her, she can tell he’s angry by the change in his tone. what did she expect? it wasn’t like she could just run away, or could she? ‘ don’t be such an ass noah! i was just having fun with the others. ‘ hazel orbs look around and a small gasp leaves her lips. ‘ where’d they go? ‘

the movement made him still, becoming defensive rather than curious now. though when he noticed the mop of locks that were exactly kassia’s hair colour, he immediately hurried over to her; kneeling beside her and checking to see if she was conscious or not. “kassia, what’s wrong?” he asked, the panic clear in his eyes.

looking up at her brother her mouth formed into a small ‘o’ before a giggle erupted from her throat. she knew she was going to be in a hell of a lot of trouble. ‘ n-nothing brother bear! just exploring the forest! ’ 

part of noah’s nature was worrying about kassia. he’d done that every day before he was locked up in the skybox, and every day since she’d been in it with him. kassia wasn’t exactly stable, and noah felt that his responsibility was to protect her at all costs. constantly. and so he ventured out into the forest where she’d disappeared off to. heavy footsteps between soft calls of her name. “this isn’t funny, where are you?”

the sound of her brothers voice ruined her daydream, looking down from the sky she sighed quietly to herself. shakily she began to stand in an effort to go and find him, instead she fell. causing twigs to crack beneath her weight. ‘ agh! ‘ despite now lying on the mossy floor of the forest she turned her head, waiting for the inevitable lecture to come once her brother arrived.

Tomac knew he wasn’t supposed to be there, and yet, he couldn’t help it. Everyone had moved to see what it had been that had fallen from the sky, and there were rumors that it had been people. How could he ever not go and see it for himself? As he got near it, Tomac turned his stealth mode on, moving quickly but soundlessly through the woods until he could finally see it. Hiding behind a tree and a few bushed, he watched the camp they had built themselves. He wouldn’t have believed it if he’d been told. People falling from the sky. What came next? Cows?

Of course Kassia was the first of the delinquents to venture off away from the group. Soft grumbles fell from bloodied lips as she used a cloth to dab the cut on her forehead, as she made her way deeper into the woods her eyes fell on a male. Curiosity got the better of her and she made a beeline after getting closer she realised that he wasn’t apart of the hundred. ‘Who the hell are you? ‘ Voice bellowed angrily.

eyes turn to see just who it is she’s speaking to, smiling softly to the other. “at least we didn’t end up like that guy.” she points to the guy who’d somehow got his belt undone before they had actually landed. but her attention turns back to the other she grins. “we aren’t dead yet and i’m sure the radiation would soak into the cracks of the drop ship and we’d already be dead or feeling the affects.”

glancing over at the guy who’d undone his seatbelt she winces, averting cognac hues quickly. pushing herself out of her seat she stands, walking towards the door. ‘ well then miss optimism if we aren’t already dead it means we’ve got a chance, and i call first dibs on being on the ground.’ 

her royal blue colored eyes scan around the metal covered box as she heards the groans of the other’s in the room. everyone seems to be okay but as she tries to unclip the belt that kept her strapped in, she notices just how jabbed it got with their crash. and she mumbles a few vulgar words as she tries to find another way to slip herself from the belt, finally breaking the belt away from the grip that held her buckled in. “are you alright..?” she softly mumbles to the person next to her.

eyes open in a haze, still inside the metal box that had them plummeting towards earth. groan leaves lips. slender fingers work to unclip her belt. turning to the sound of the voice she recognises her brothers friend. a sigh of relief follows. ‘ i’m fine, a few bumps and bruises. well we’re not dead now but we might be once we open that door. ‘ finger points towards the large exit door.

it hurt him to see her upset. but noah had to remember that she was the one that brought this on herself. she was the one that took the drugs and ended up in here. the one that couldn’t give them up and therefore let her whole family down. “you are, kassia. you’re a damn disappointment.” he muttered, because his best defense to hide the way his heart was breaking, was to be a complete and utter asshole towards her. and perhaps it was easier to do it this way because there was that sense of impending doom amongst them all with the rumors of being sent to the ground, or perhaps because he could yell at her all he wanted and she wouldn’t be going anywhere but her cell and the common room. “and i’m an idiot for thinking you were smart enough to realise that you’d fucked up.”

‘ i get it noah! you don’t have to fucking repeat it every two minutes, i fucking know. ‘ words spill from plump lips in a rush, not caring that she was completely falling apart in front of her brother. there family had always waved it off as a phase or that she was trying to fit in. no one understood the heartbreaking reason behind it all. ‘ thats what kassia james does noah, she fucks up and then she does it again, and again, and again until she’s so far down the rabbit hole not even god can pull her back up.’

“dammit what, kassia!? this isn’t my fault! how could you? how could you after i told you to stop!” and noah’s free to raise his voice here because they’re in his cell, and the damn things are essentially sound proof anyway to block out the moans and the cries of the kids that have just been sentenced. “were you hoping to get yourself killed? or is this another plea for attention, kassia! god damn it, i’m so disappointed in you! i thought you were better than that.”

she can feel the familiar burning her eyes, she feels it every night. every time she downs a bottle of alcohol, every time she takes a pill. she suffers in silence, never lets on that she’s so far off the band wagon theres no going back. ‘ looks like your right noah. ‘ she hisses lowly, being toxic the only thing she knows how to do in a emotional situation. she can feel the venomous smirk slipping onto her lips as he mentioned trying to get herself killed, she was. that was all she was trying to do, there wasn’t any fun in her pastimes anymore. ‘ guess you were wrong big brother, i’m just the family disappointment. ‘

if noah was good at anything, it was at telling when his little sister was lying. how could he not? he’d grown up learning every mannerism she had and learning how her reactions defined her mood and emotion. and right now, he could see that she was telling a lie. a big one. and she looked so damn worried about something. about the truth - he soon decided. and so for a moment, he just stared at her silently - taking his time to wrack his brain for ideas as to what she would be hiding. what she would be doing wrong in order to get arrested. “kassia… you’ve been… back on it again. taking drugs again!?”

eyes close for a split second as a wince leaves plump lips, he’s figured it out. of course he had it was his job as an older sibling. cursing herself for being so predictable she takes a few steps back as she tries to figure out her next move, theres not much she can say. apologise? deny it? neither of the options take her fancy but the first seems more reasonable at least in noah’s eyes it should be. ‘ damnit it noah.. ‘ she mutters quietly, shame clearly written on her face.