b u t t e r f l i e s

“Do you want me to lie to you, or tell the truth?” Kian deadpanned. She should’ve known better than to believe anything that was written on the internet, especially anything from the Gazette itself. For someone that had fallen victim of their rumours and lies and just being dragged through the website, she really should’ve known better. Maya’s anger came as shock to her, even though it shouldn’t have – especially after jumping into conclusions right away. But she had never seen her step mother in such a rage and at this point, she couldn’t blame her. The wound of her mother had still been so fresh, the last thing she wanted right now was to lose another mother – a good one, at least. “I don’t really know who or what to believe these days, Maya, but you can’t fault me for feeling the slightest bit hurt by this news. I just spent half of my life believing that my biological mother was dead so if she can lie to me so easily, anybody else can – you can.” she rambled on, though stopped before she could say anything else anymore once she got a proper look at the expression on Maya’s face. The last thing she wanted to do was fight with her, she had spent years crucifying this woman that did nothing but make her father happy, she wasn’t about the spend another year hating her. “Sorry.” she said lowly, after what seemed to be an hour stretch of silence. She brought her fingers through her hair ass she brushed them through her hair in frustration. “I’m sorry.” she added, her voice more calm and level this time around. Kian had already started to get on her feet and walked towards the woman in hopes to find a way, anyway to comfort her. “I just don’t know what to think, Maya. A lot of people are either confused or angry, or both.”

Maya replied promptly, her voice stiff but still laced with anger. “Why don’t you try lying to me? Give me a taste of my own medicine, why don’t you?” But something inside Maya shattered when Kian replied back to her. Something broke into a million pieces and fell around her. Her ears were ringing, and her hands instinctively went to her stomach; a small bump, nothing visible under the dress. This was something Maya had been running from, this feeling of inadequacy, that she would never be good enough. Maybe her face said it all; she went through emotions. She felt pain, and anger, and everything that bottled up inside her. She was always going to be the person on the outside looking in. She stood there for what felt like hours, cradling the bump as if trying to protect the lives inside from her own rage. The implications of Kian’s words just broke whatever hope she had of reconnecting with this family. It felt futile to try, because who else was left on that roster? Maya would probably find a way to piss Abel off too. As the other woman came forward, Maya moved back. “Don’t.” Like she snapped out of her never ending nightmare and looked up at Kian again, reassessing her as a stranger. “A lot of people, huh? Of course, no one seems to care about what I’m going through. Why should anyone? My messes, my problems. Just...stay away from me, Kian.” Suddenly, she felt very vacant in the place where she mustered the love for Kian, only months ago. In between the horrible months, Maya thought she fixed the gap, bridged the divide. But clearly, it didn’t take much to break this. “I would have taken this from anyone...---I don’t want to be here, anymore. Good night.” Maya’s head was spinning, and she knew whatever she would say then would inevitably come back to bite her. So she turned to the door, making moves to leave.

angel: youre so gd innocent. it's a friggen miracle

angel: i can promise you its not your barista

angel: unless youre one of those obnxious people that request ridiculous drinks with absurd demands

angel: in which case, i'd be your enemy if i had to fix your drink every morning

maya: not all that innocent; i've been banned from pottery barn, remember?

maya: and maybe caused a ruckus at a crate and barrel

maya: all I order is a black tea, or a matcha tea with one sugar!

maya: i am just...

“Of course you are.” He let out a sigh as he looked at her. There was just no way. It was basically impossible. Milo couldn’t fathom her even remotely being the Saboteur. Then again, he also couldn’t ever think that his mother would have faked her death and be alive right now so it seemed nothing was ever what he assumed. “Right. I’m sure. My father is here, I’m assuming?” It felt like he was talking to the same woman and then it didn’t at the same time. He didn’t know what to think. There was so much going on in his head right now. “No, wait…” He drifted off and dropped his head to stare at the floor. For some reason, he couldn’t meet her eyes. “Just…I had a fight with Regina because she’s ready to cut your head off and I wouldn’t let her talk about you like that. She just blindly believes that you’re…” A deep breath escaped his mouth. “I don’t know how to help you, Maya, lo siento. And I defended you and now I’m not talking to my best friend and I just need this to be over for you. I hate that you’re going through this. It’s like…this family can’t catch a break.”

Maya shook her head; she had been wallowing in self-pity all day, unaware of everything and everyone else. She wanted everything to go back to normal, to the way things were before, and that thought just ended up making her cry. She was shuffling out of the kitchen, head hanging low before Milo stopped her. She turned, and the sight meeting her eyes broke her heart. The words he spoke went right into that crack, and there were tears in Maya’s eyes again. Of course, there would be consequences for everyone involved. She bit on her quivering bottom lip, willing herself not to cry anymore. “I’m sorry, Milo. I’m just...I’m so sorry.” And suddenly, she felt bad for everything; every ugly emotion that she felt in moments of frustration, every insecurity she had ever felt in the presence of the children, everything bad and remotely not good that she ever thought; they came crashing down on her like rain. “Maybe I should go offer Regina my head on a platter. I’m sorry, mijo.” If there was an emotion Maya had ever avoided feeling, it was helplessness; what she was feeling now was close to that. “I...---I should probably leave. It’s my problem, and I should be the only one suffering the consequences...” The idea came more clearly as she stood there in the silence; a packed suitcase, a week at her sister’s place, and somewhere far from the city. “Please don’t...don’t throw away something good for me...” 

Objectively, sneaking up to apologise wasn’t her best plan. But it was her only one, and having tried everything else, she was starved for alternatives. “I’m here to apologise.” There was only so much apologising she could do without telling the whole truth, but she was sure going to try. “I get that you can’t stand the sight of me but - can you please give me a chance to explain? You’ve been ignoring my calls and my texts,” a sigh. “Five minutes? Please?”

Maya considered her options. Walking out, no matter how rude, was at the top. But here was the thing, Maya wasn’t heartless. She had come out of her doctor’s office with relatively great news (that she was in fact carrying two babies instead of one), her spirits were lifted and then she ran into reality. And as much as she wanted to hate Olivia, she couldn’t find herself doing that forever. And a small part of her flashed back to the argument with her own father; maybe if he had given her five minutes, he would have been the first person Maya ran to instead of her house. “Fine. Let’s get some lunch, and then...you can have your five minutes. Just...cut the bullshit out, okay? If you’re going to sit here and lie to my face, and the food, then you might as well just leave right now.” It killed her that she couldn’t hate Olivia, still concerned about the girl’s wellbeing. 

AMARA: ???

AMARA: Who is this?

AMARA: And what's going on?

AMARA: I know I don't know you, but are you okay?

MAYA: sorry, wrong number

MAYA: don't even ask

DARCY: does it help that I believe you???

DARCY: because I do, I really do.

DARCY: this is some Gossip Girl shit.

MAYA: yes. yes it does

MAYA: i have never watched that show

Bee: Hey, girl. I'm well. I just wanted to check on you and see how you were and let you know that I don't believe you're the Saboteur. There's no way. That evidence was as thin as fucking organza fabric.

Maya: [there's a brief chuckle, an odd sound to Maya's own ears] I...It's appreciated. Really...[sighs] It's been a weird couple of days. I think? I don't know what day it is.

Maya: I have a doctor's appointment, but I'm too afraid to even step out of my room, you know? I just...it's been too much.

Maya: And I never even talked about the Saboteur! I don't exactly remember what I said to Olivia, or even Violetta for that matter...but I know I didn't say that I was S. I think I'd remember that part.

TIME SKIP.

Kian opened the door to her hotel room, thinking it would be better to stay at the Ritz Carlton rather than driving home after digesting one too many cocktails at the event. Taking full advantage of the hotel, she ordered a room for herself and found Maya standing at the front door of her room. “Did Abel tell you I was here? I was kinda avoiding you on purpose.” she sighed, and left the door open before walking towards the couch, not bothering to give her an invitation to come inside. “Unless you’re here to tell me that you’re not the online troll, then I’m not really interested in what you have to say to me, Maya.”

“Well...maybe.” Maya was distraught, and she panicked out loud. But it had been a few hours since, and even though her makeup had stayed in place, almost all of her look disheveled, out of order perhaps. She followed into Kian’s room, closing the door behind her. “Do you really think I could do something like this?” The accusations hurt; every single time, it felt like she was being staked through the heart. There weren’t any tears left to cry, but that lump still formed in throat. But this whole situation, it put Maya on edge. She was tired and wired, her body hurt and all of it compounded to was, “I know you and I have never seen eye to eye. And I don’t think we’ve gotten better than ever before. Honestly, at this point...I’m not even surprised by your disbelief. I’ve always been just Maya, the woman who tried to replace someone. An accessory. Just something to project on, because it’s easy to do just that.” The anger seethed, but Maya kept her mouth shut. “I am not the Saboteur, and that’s all I have to say.”  

Maya picks up the ringing phone, a familiar name flashing on the screen. It felt weird, that she was going to use her own voice again, for the first time in a while.

— closed starter for @ofmcya

Milo had decided to pay his father a visit in this time of…well, whatever it was. He wasn’t sure what the older man was thinking and he wanted to pick his mind. It felt like he was being pulled to either side and he had to know what to do before he did anything. Hearing footsteps, he jumped slightly, almost spilling the cup of coffee in his hand. “Mierda, don’t just sneak up on people like that.” When he turned and saw that it was indeed not his father and Maya instead, his face dropped. “Oh. Hi.”

“Sorry! I’m wearing socks because my feet get cold so fast...” Maya was stood at the doorway, looking at Milo as he chastised her, and part of her just accepted it. Maybe all she wanted to hear was that he hated her, and they would be back where they started at the beginning of their relationship; maybe that was just what it always was. Fragile, on eggshells. “Always good to see a familiar face around the house...Hello to you too, Milo.” Because Maya had spent most of the day cooped up in her room, avoiding strangers, avoiding her own husband. “I should let you...get back to..--” She vaguely gestured to his coffee, torn between making small talk or just padding away back to the guest room she was calling home for now. “It’s been so long since I’ve had coffee...” 

angel: dont ask me, sherlock. figure this out. start w your enemies. who has a reason to hate you this much?

angel: what'd you do that i dont know about, mama?

angel: if you dont stop freaking out im gonna be forced to leave my place and come get you and since you cant drunk i'll have to take drastic measures to calm you down and it wont be pretty. consider that a threat

maya: i don't have enemies! we don't live in a shakespearean drama!

maya: oh god what if i do?

maya: maybe it was that barista i forgot to thank for my matcha tea! or...oh my god

maya: the only drastic measure i can think of is sleeping pills or smothering me with a pillow. part of me is ready to take that chance

Thomas: I was asking if you were okay, that's all.

Thomas: and you should be blocking all those numbers

Maya: Tommy!

Maya: As you can clearly tell...I'm have a great night!

DARCY: woah, woah, woah. who said anything about being a bitch?

DARCY: i mean, if it's true, i'd like to know what the motivation was??

DARCY: innocent until proven guilty, you know. running a gossip blog? it doesn't sound like you.

MAYA: well, it wasn't me!!!

MAYA: the timelines don't match up. I don't the first thing about running a blog

MAYA: except for my masters' portfolio

Maya: Angel's always using common phrases wrong!

MILO: Innocent until proven guilty, I guess.

MAYA: this is worse than the one word answers I used to get from you