it's me bitch

Last week I was asked about the colors of the four houses of Hogwarts (Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin). I gave a snarky, but interesting, answer. It won’t be the last time I do something like that.

The actual question, however, still has merit. People seem to like the Harry Potter franchise, as it made J. K. Rowling into a billionaire (At least in US dollars. According to Google, it’s like £655,000,000.) This is also an interesting question, as the four houses are their own identity system in another fictional world. Thus, they are kind of a parallel to Magic’s color pie. The houses divvy up personality traits of human beings and compartmentalize them into a system of categorization and characterization. As such, things won’t line up as well with the color pie. You’ll see.

House Gryffindor

Stealing a flying car and badly piloting it to save your friend before it crashes into a murderous tree? Classic Gryffindor.

In each section I’ll start by giving a brief explanation of the traits the Sorting Hat looks for when placing new students. Then I’ll talk about where these traits fall in Magic’s color pie. Then that’s it, since that’s the goal of this article. Not everything is complicated.

OK, so what traits shout out, “Gryffindor” (and make the Sorting Hat shout out, “Gryffindor!”)? The Sorting Hat tells us in verse:

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart

Bravery, daring, nerve, and chivalry is a good start. Gryffindors can also be a little reckless and hot-headed (Ron is the paragon of Gryffindor.) Sometimes they’re even arrogant and disregard the rules a little too much.

If these traits make you think of the Boros Legion, than you shouldn’t seem so surprised. White is the home of chivalry and martial bravery. It’s a color that knows, with total certainty, what its goal is. Red, on the other hand, is daring and rebellious. Both colors can become arrogant when taken to the extreme, another trait directly shared with Gryffindor.

Unsurprisingly then, Gryffindor tends to be Red/White. As I said, Ron is the paragon of the house, being the most reckless-but-friendly person in the series. Godric Gryffindor even has a super-powerful sword, the timeless symbol of martial courage.

House Hufflepuff

Nice guys finish last because they saw what happened to the ones who finish first.

Hufflepuffs are described by the Sorting Hat in this way:

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true,

And unafraid of toil

So we start with justice, loyalty, and hard work. Hufflepuffs are also the most inclusive house, gladly helping out and taking care of others. They are kind and fair, believing everyone should be on equal ground. They are loyal to their values, but not so much that they will turn others away if they don’t agree.

The “everybody should just be friends” mentality is well established in Green/White. Many other Hufflepuff traits fit into these colors too. They are accepting of others, a Green trait, and also have an aptitude for growing things. A sense of moral values is about as White as it gets, and loyalty to others plays into White’s selflessness.

At their core, Hufflepuffs exemplify Green/White’s inclusive desire for peace and unity among all people. They are happy to work for such an end and believe in a strong set of morals.

House Ravenclaw

If Tumblr was ever a fictional character, this is who it would be.

I don’t know what Ravenclaw’s animal is an eagle. It should be a raven, or they should be called Eagleclaw. This will never stop bothering me. Anyway, here’s the Sorting Hat’s Ravenclaw poem:

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw

If you’ve a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind

Wisdom, wit, and learning. Ravenclaws are also described as original and creative. They are also very competitive, always looking to be the best at whatever they’re doing. They can be individualistically motivated, but they are quick to accept others and their differences.

There’s a lot going on in Ravenclaw when it comes to the color pie. The easiest place to start is with the very Blue ideas of learning and personal progress. Ravenclaws are the ones with their noses buried in textbooks. Creativity, however, is a powerful buzzword for Blue/Red. The Red in the Ravenclaws is what drives them to be individuals instead of clichés. Finally, individual competition is fairly Black. Ravenclaws put a lot of emphasis on themselves, so Black is pretty foundational in a lot of the house’s ideas. This is a great example of Black not being evil.

Mixed together, Ravenclaws are Blue/Black/Red, the Grixis colors. Just not evil and twisted and all obsessed with undeath. They’re smart and competitive, but not in a malicious way. Instead, they revel in new ideas and are glad to let competition feed into their pursuit of knowledge.

House Slytherin

I bet you were all expecting a picture of Draco Malfoy. Have a Horace Slughorn instead.

OK, we know that Slytherin is where all the bad guys are from. But that doesn’t make every Slytherin bad. Let’s look at what the Sorting Hat has to say:

Or perhaps in Slytherin,

You’ll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means,

To achieve their ends

See? Friendship! Though the Sorting Hat is being backhanded here; it’s implying that Slytherins can’t make friends with non-Slytherins. They are an exclusive group, sticking together and distrusting outsiders. The poem also speaks towards the cunning and ruthlessness of the house. Slytherins will break any rule if it means coming out on top and preserving power. Because they’re always looking to gain power and not risk their own lives, Slytherins tend to analyze a situation before moving forward.

So what colors does this break down into? Ruthlessness and power slide right into Black. These are the dominating traits of the house. Slytherin fraternity is exclusive and based on blood purity. This is White in nature, excluding the tainted in favor of the pure. Classic White/Black thinking: Slytherins stick together, but they stick together above all the losers. Their cunning and patience also feed a bit into Blue, even though Slytherins aren’t always seeking knowledge.

It’s pretty easy to see how Voldemort got to evil in Slytherin. The White/Blue/Black house pulls from some of the worst qualities of each color. While most Slytherins are simply cold and elitist, some can be absolutely and totally consumed by evil.

Of Houses and Hats

So there you have it. Gryffindor proves it’s Red/White, Hufflepuff accepts that it’s Green/White, Ravenclaw knows it’s Blue/Black/Red, and Slytherin is always talking about how great it is to be White/Blue/Black. There are also people called hatstalls, which the Sorting Hat has trouble placing because they show traits from multiple houses. Hatstalls are sort of like the Harry Potter world’s version of multicolored individuals.

man I haven't spoken to in 13 months: