🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐 Candi Or Cc

Social media has been around a lot and affected the minds of the youth. It’s not just about social media sometimes, but also the shows we watched in childhood. Social media, the environment we grew up around, and what we watched as kids or were told by adults or parents affect our point of view of the world. But at a certain age, we start to develop our sense of self and philosophy of the world whenever we hit adolescence. From an early age, I noticed that being worth something and having worth will make you attractive to many people, whether the relationship is platonic or romantic; you have something to offer and inspire them. Rather than nothing but looks personality, and kindness. There is nothing wrong with showing kindness, but people crave more than kindness, personality, and looks. Humans crave the feeling of worth, motivation, and being able to be something. If you are able to be worthy, intelligent, and independent, charming, and charismatic you’ll get more in life—not by manipulation and working what’s in favor for you but by how you carried yourself and present yourself to others.

Humans are also attracted to dreams, goals, and aspirations; this might sound hurtful, but no one, not even yourself, will want to befriend or have a partner without these in mind. This relates to my points that social media, shows we watched in childhood (like Disney…), and our environment affects our thinking on the world; you may not see it now. However, indulging in negative emotions would affect your life and how others view you. Yes, I know you could be healthy, but no one will take you seriously if you do not establish what you want to be or try to be something. Even if you are not something it, your intelligence blends with a personality that will draw you to other people. Social media portrays toxic relationships and does not hold people accountable. Girls and boys could complain and cry about their situations without being held responsible for their actions. Nothing is wrong with venting on social media, but you are being perceived as weak minded of not trying to better the situation and letting your feelings sulk up your life.

If you keep on letting your actions go to excuse cause of your feelings, you’ll not be perceived who you want to be. Stop living on social media and living in unrealistic expectations and reality. It’s ruining you and your critical thinking—without that you’ll continue not be respected. Don’t get me wrong some people are ass holes but know the power of your worth and intimidate them with your intelligences.

Disney affected our way of thinking about relationships. Disney is fantasy, but it draws the line where it affects us, thinking we should disregard our standards for men and be dependent. We all know most were dumb, but we carried these expectations into teenage-hood and adulthood; the first kiss phenomenon correlates to first love or first love theory. I know there are differences, but if you consider how similar they are and how they affect love in this generation. You’ll understand why people habitually do not move on and work on themself. As humans, we should all have some purpose in life and have trials and tribulations but not stay tied to them. It’s not only Disney portraying unrealistic expectations but the shows we watches shows from the 90s or 2000s. One thing I could name is getting back with the boy after they showed many times having no worth—but, saying how this correlates, we end up with people with no goals or dreams in mind and expect sympathy when we have nothing to offer. Unless you were delusional and did have something to offer, and your partner was out of your league, it’ll be a different story.

Now, our environment. The environment we grew up in childhood, teenage-hood, and adulthood affects us on different levels; it's complex layers you’ll have to explore to get to know yourself. Some of us grew up in abusive households, okay households, or stable households. Not every household is perfect, but love and personality-wise, we are affected by how we grow up viewing the world. But at a certain age, you have to yearn for change and growth and not be stuck in the same cycle over and over. It makes people disrespect you, and it is draining to be around; you're not looking for good things for yourself, and you expect sympathy. People will start blaming and disliking you cause of a lack of awareness and accountability. I know this is harsh, but many people are going through worse things; the people I’m referring to throughout this essay are people crying on social media about relationships that were never meant to be or people spreading negativity on social media. People forget or don’t know that to be respected in this world, you’ll have to be worth something; it doesn’t matter if the other person might not like it. But your power over yourself, pride, and dignity will make people attractive to you. You want to be something in life and give it your all to the point that others will hate on it cause they’re intimidated by it. You’ll find like-minded people who are the same as you as soon as you change your mindset. Just because you grow up around your parents being stuck in their ways or family members doesn't mean you have to. Be great.

The books of many fairy tales chirp their melodies,

The melodies they were assigned to, 

Beautiful, yet haunting voices 

In pain—agony. 

Brings a ring, to 

The girls' ears love their lovely screeching voices. 

But she realizes, 

The voices were cries of–

Horror, terror, and sadness. 

How haunting the voices are… 

The musical voices make a 

Screeching ring

To the girl's ears,

A feeling of anxiousness

The feeling that unfolds

The other–yet,

Real version of 

Their stories. 

Ahh~ 

                        Laaa~

                                                 screech.

She became, 

Hypnotized by the haunting melody. 

The dripping oozing poison, 

Pouring into her brain.

The melody, Where–Wait stop. 

She repeated. 

Moving around her

Room frantically, she hears cries 

Of different voices. 

Oh, make it stop she pleaded! 

As she moves around back

And forward in her 

Room, jittering 

Like a jackrabbit on steroids.

She ran out of her room into the slightly dim 

Hallway, The lightbulb made her–

Derange 

No, no, please, 

                    The songs won’t stop… 

                                                                  Stop…please. 

               She would send me back there—

I don't want to go back…

                                                Stop. 

Her world, 

Hallway,

Hands,

All swirled, 

She yelled and screamed in pain, 

Her head banging feeling,

It's splitting open. 

She felt a cold, dead, ice hand,

On her shoulder. 

She gasps and yelps in pain. 

She realized it was her parents, 

Their eyes gash out, blood dripping, 

The melody intensifies. 

                                                                               Ahhhh~

         Laaaaa~

                                   “Your time is due, and it will be coming dear.”

She woken up, 

Flash by the hard light on

Her brown face,

She sat up, seeing the room she always

Been at, 

Her hospital room…

A tear streamed down her face, 

She cries in her hands, 

muffling 

                                           No…She’ll send me back…. 

The school had started back up for me, Going to a school where people are as passionate about writing as me. But the problem is I'm not passionate about poetry or poems like the rest of my peers are, Which at times makes me feel stupid, Same with my writing my teacher said I need help with basic English. Makes me so embarrassed and humiliated how no one told me, One of my favorite teachers Mr. Daniels always said I write complex, Maybe I do have trouble getting my words across clearly it's so tiring to make sure my words get across it makes me feel so insecure about my writing, and balance everything. But most of it is my fault for not communicating with my teacher I just feel so stupid it was a rough start for real, But I have talked to my other classmates who are on a different level than me and they helped me a lot. Just really hate poetry, It's just something I like to do for fun, Not something I take as a passion. I just feel hopeless like I want to give up. I know this is my dream and passion. But after I heard my teacher's backstory, and how much she really cared, I realized I needed to communicate. So things will go more smoothly for me and her, And not be hard on her. So I'm excited about that and will talk to her clearly.

Humans are a complex species I don't understand or grasp.

but I feel pity and pain for,

pain for the loss of souls, the misery emotions, the heavy waves they carry in their hearts--

humans are beautiful lovely creatures,

lovely life experience, that I thank our creator for.

A species that I care for, as much as other species in our universe.

But also, have a hate and love relationship.

we are so complex, that we don't fully realize ourselves.

full of struggles, burdens, thoughts, regrets, despair, depression,

all the above, emotions.

Humans are a body, and souls, full of emotions, consciousness, thoughts, and personalities.

Easy to understand, easy to not understand, easy to break, easily to put back together.

-------

But there goes my hatred for our kind,

humans,

the more I experience we are one the most fragile things ever,

delicate.

But refuse to help ourselves

but ask and yearn for help

then looking for the end of the tunnel, or a fight.

the philosophy of humans is complex in layers.

But also full of wonders why not choose a different route, or make

better

choices?

Why do we put ourselves in those despairing situations, but not help?

The more I look at the human race we are miserable creatures slaves to our own feelings, desires,

past, regrets, grudges, anger,

All of the above.

Humans are the most interesting creatures i have ever seen,

the way they react,

talk,

our unique features,

culture,

languages,

but even all through that beauty,

They're still all struggling under a system that slaves us away,

but slave away to our own filthy desires.

We want to break the toxic cycles we are in

but don't want to put effort into it--

No matter what race you are, You contribute to the human aspect

It's interesting how not many of us don't think of the human aspect of our life.

then now, how boring and dull.

But what is the point of judging others, if difference makes us.

but it's tiring seeing the same toxic cycles,

I will never understand the first love theory or the point of it. I don't see why someone would revolve their whole love life around one specific person who is supposedly their first love.

I don’t understand why people reminisce about someone from their past and miss the deep connection they had, even if it led to heartbreak or toxic love. It seems like our society has forgotten what love should be. I feel like our love life should not revolve around one person, but multiple people. We should be able to like and dislike. Love should be fun, interesting, and free, not tied down or held back by one person from the past. Dwelling on the past makes it less enjoyable and tiring, and brings suffering. I think people who still reminisce about their first love are stuck on it and have a hard time letting go or experiencing new things. It's okay, but I feel they should work on moving forward rather than being fixated on one person for their whole life, even up to their 30s.

And yes, I haven't experienced my “first love” But I have a lot of deep soul-tie connections to many people whether they were Romantic or Platonic, Yes few were toxic, but Some were not, and taught me experiences. I thank them for that. But I do not choose to reminisce on them but to think I’m glad to learn a lesson from them to learn something that I like in my love life or friendships.

My point is that your love life should not be serious but fun, Adventure, and lessons! But saying to go sleep around or play with people's hearts, I’m saying to not let one person you once have a deep connection with drag you down and you reminisce about them for your whole life, That’s just a waste of time. Life is short, Heal, move on, and thank them for the lessons they teach you, and look around and be grateful for the people you surrounded yourself with! If you don't have people to surround yourself with, It means it is time for a new start, and be excited about that not scared!