the darwin of flowers

Requested by anon

formerly womaninpants

“all legends are born in truth,” “the answer remains emphatically: no,” “you are not where you ought to be,” “it would make life so much simpler if more people paid in gold,”  “you think you’re the first to reject me? i have been been turned out of some of the best clubs in europe!” “should i be concerned about you?” “haven’t you been dreaming about another adventure?” “if i wanted to go to a primitive backwater where i can’t understand a word anyone’s saying, i’d visit our relatives in scotland,” “who’d look after you?” “first of all, let me congratulate you on your excellent choice of skipper,” “if you look to the left of the boat, you’ll see some very playful toucans. they’re playing their favorite game of beak wrestling. the only drawback is… only two can play.” “the rocks you see here on the river are sandstone… but some people just take them for granite,” “you know, before this, i used to work in an orange juice factory, but i got canned. couldn’t concentrate. yeah… they put the squeeze on me, too,” “some say that boa constrictor right there is capable of eating 500 pounds per sitting, but personally i find that very hard to swallow,” “can you please make him stop?” “know this about the jungle: everything you see wants to kill you. and can.” “this is the highlight of the tour, my favorite part of the jungle.” “it’s the eight wonder of the world, it’s the backside of water!” “any faster would damage my engine, and i can’t afford a new one,” “make sure you take care of __, he a good kid. looks ten but he secretly 47,” “let’s not start a fight with a monkey vendor,” “i think we’ve earned ourselves some nice lunch at the hotel, then a bath and a cocktail,” “what fresh hell is this?” “be quick or i’ll leave without you,” “oh, that option is becoming increasingly desirable,”  “i have an idea: please go away,” “i have a lot of money.” “you’re wearing pants.” “do women in england do that now?” “you can’t get there, nobody could get there — and if they could, they wouldn’t. it’s not a fun vacation.” “i’m not here for a vacation.” “i’ll show you some waterfalls. you look like you like waterfalls.” “i spent my childhood playtime with the toddler pickpockets of delhi,” “i look forward to disappointing you,” “i suppose it’s only a scam if you fall for it,” “thank you ___, i hope we never meet again,” “i’m the only one who could get you there,” “you are a lot of things that i don’t really care for,” “i assure you, every one of these items is entirely necessary for my survival,” “gosh, there’s a lot of you, isn’t there?” “how you doing, pants?” “you booked a river cruise and you can’t swim?” “i may or may not have something in my possession that may or may not be of interest to other interested parties,” “no, no, no. i am an excellent driver!” “my eyeballs are sweating,” “don’t look them directly in the eye unless you want nightmares for life,” “if you believe in legends, you should believe in curses, too,” “i had a girlfriend one, she was cross-eyed. didn’t work out. we could never see eye to eye. i’m also quite sure she was seeing someone on the side,” “oh my god, is that your idea of a joke? that is not funny,” “i’m not the one who can’t swim, pants,” “don’t you worry about that, skippy,” “i know you don’t know how to swim, so if you happen to drown out there, go ahead and use the soap to wash yourself ashore,” “if you think that you’re going to cut our trip short by starving us, let me tell you that that is extremely likely to work,” “you’re staring, how do i make it stop?” “you’re right, annoyingly,” “i drew everything i wanted to draw. then i figured i’d learn something new,” “i believe that the legend is real,” “just imagine the lives that could be saved. legend says one petal from the tree will heal anything. it will change medicine forever,” “it’s the beginning of a scientific revolution, it’s very exciting,” “you are deeply unpleasant,” “i don’t have to know someone to care,” “i don’t have to care about anybody, period,” “i just think if you’re lucky enough to have one person in this life to care about, then that’s world enough for me,” “is there a single thing about you that i can trust?” “since i consider myself of value, i will see you on the other side,” “you should give up,” “you should give up the guitar,” “that may be the first intelligent thing you’ve said since we met,” “i don’t know how you live with that woman,” “headfirst, figure it out on the way down. it should be on her crest in latin,” “___ says whatever she wants say, whenever she wants say it. no regard for anybody’s feelings.” “my interests happily lie… elsewhere,” “i would follow her into a volcano,” “you are like an onion of deceit,” “i don’t usually offend so immediately,” “we’re headed into headhunter territory, which is a terrible place to be headed,” “can i please talk for five minutes without you interrupting me?” “come on, you heard the nice cannibal,” “come on, fight me. come on, you, fight me.” “next time i’m gonna charge you more for this ‘ooga-booga’ nonsense,” “i have the tingling impression you want to negotiate a price,” “cross __ like that and you are dead to her. dead and buried.” “i’m gonna gonna be falling for any more of his ludicrous tricks. they’re getting really tedious,” “‘we’ is an interesting word. because it sort of implies a bond of trust and honesty… neither of which you know anything about, because you are a liar,” “i wouldn’t trust you as far as i could throw you, which clearly isn’t very far,”  “do you think i’m a fool? i think you must think i’m a fool,” “this is ridiculous. just leave me alone! that was a disaster!” “do you really believe we still have souls?” “you’re alive! how are you alive?” “i don’t care what you’ve done for me, if we make it out of here alive, i am never leaving ___ again.” “i told you last time, i am done pulling weapons out of you!” “would you like to bite down on my stick?” “i feel like you’re very uptight right now, and it’s not helping me because i’m very nervous,” “it’s okay to be nervous, it’s your first time. it is your first time, right?” “i can’t leave you alone out here,” “i will be fine, i promise,” “i was very concerned… for my expedition. and for you,” “i don’t know what i am anymore.” “i think you [are/were] a minor master of your time,” “there [is/was] no world for him without his daughter in it,” “i couldn’t be part of the madness,” “a brother’s blade cuts deepest,” “i made some friends… lost some friends.” “i built a boat,” “over the years i would find strays who needed someone,” “i don’t take lifts from strangers!” “do you know how many years people have been looking for that?” “stole it… liberated it, how about that?” “i’ve searched for this thing for so long, but i’m pretty sure it belongs to you,” “i get to make a choice… and i choose to rest,” “none of it has been meaningful,” “i cannot swim___! that is not something i can do!” “i have this very deep fear,” “i can’t do this without you. i need you. you have to trust me,” “are you wearing pants under your pants?” “i’m so sorry. i’m very scared,” “what is wrong with you?! how could you leave me?” “you could come to ___. i’m from ___, i could you show you,” “it shouldn’t be your choice, because you have very poor judgement!” “it could be that one person’s world enough,” “small chance i told a madman with a canon where to find you,” “at last, we finally meet,” “to put that tremendous power into the hands of the people would be madness,” “what do you think, muscles?” “here we go again,” “this is an amusingly familiar situation, no?” “royalty’s not to be trusted,” “tell ___ she would’ve been world enough for me,” “not exactly what i intended,” “he told me to tell you, you would have been world enough for him,” “oh, you are the most infuriating man i’ve ever met,” “i can’t believe you shot me,” “you’re both my world!” “i witnessed things not to be believed,” “this journey was unlike anything this society has ever seen,” “___ has asked me to respectfully decline your invitation on her behalf,” “you can take your invitation, and you can shove it up your association,” “ready for your first driving lesson?” “i hope you know what you’re getting yourself into here,” “oh, your jokes. they will be the death of me. they are absolutely exhausting.” “did you like it? are you proud?”

001.   ❝ you just got promoted. ❞ 002.   ❝ you’re with me on this one, right? ❞ 003.   ❝ don’t you close that door! ❞ 004.   ❝ give me frogs! flies, locusts! anything but you. ❞ 005.   ❝ compared to you, the other plagues were a joy. ❞ 006.   ❝ i am so very sorry. it was an accident. ❞ 007.   ❝ you are a catastrophe! ❞ 008.   ❝ have you no respect for the dead? ❞ 009.   ❝ [name], please. i’m really not in the mood for you. ❞ 010.   ❝ i think you found something. ❞ 011.   ❝ we’re scholars, not treasure hunters. ❞ 012.   ❝ as the americans would say, it’s all fairytales and hokum. ❞ 013.   ❝ i lie to everybody. what makes you so special? ❞ 014.   ❝ no, no. i’ve just got one of those faces. ❞ 015.   ❝ then get me the hell out of here! ❞ 016.   ❝ personally, i think he’s filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. i don’t like him one bit. ❞ 017.   ❝ nothing to like there at all. ❞ 018.   ❝ i only gamble with my life, never my money. ❞ 019.   ❝ the only thing that scares me, [name], are your manners. ❞ 020.   ❝ still angry about that kiss, huh? ❞ 021.   ❝ well, if you call that a kiss. ❞ 022.   ❝ oh, that’s comforting. ❞ 023.   ❝ of course i can swim, if the occasion calls for it. ❞ 024.   ❝ wait here! i’ll go get help! ❞ 025.   ❝ we’re about to be shown the way. ❞ 026.   ❝ we’re standing inside a room no one has entered in over 3,000 years. ❞ 027.   ❝ your odds are not so great, [name]. ❞ 028.   ❝ you’ll be dead when they do this. ❞ 029.   ❝ maybe this place really is cursed. ❞ 030.   ❝ hey tough stuff, try a right hook. ❞ 031.   ❝ what is a place like me doing in a girl like this? ❞ 032.   ❝ i am going to kiss you, [name]. ❞ 033.   ❝ that which was set forth in ancient times is as strong today as it was then. ❞ 034.   ❝ i’ve dreamt about this since i was a little girl. ❞ 035.   ❝ death is only the beginning. ❞ 036.   ❝ i’ve never heard of this curse having actually been performed. ❞ 037.   ❝ they never used it because they feared it so. ❞ 038.   ❝ that’s called stealing, you know. ❞ 039.   ❝ no harm ever came from reading a book. ❞ 040.   ❝ it is everybody’s problem. ❞ 041.   ❝ we all got our little problems today, [name]. ❞ 042.   ❝ we are in serious trouble. ❞ 043.   ❝ after what i just saw… i’m willing to go on a little faith here. ❞ 044.   ❝ question: why doesn’t he like cats? ❞ 045.   ❝ [name], what do you think you are doing? ❞ 046.   ❝ sorry, but he’s a bit… tall. ❞ 047.   ❝ it is better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path. ❞ 048.   ❝ i don’t wanna tell you. you’ll just hurt me some more. ❞ 049.   ❝ until now, it was a notion i was unwilling to believe. ❞ 050.   ❝ patience is a virtue. ❞ 051.   ❝ ‘for all eternity’, idiot. ❞ 052.   ❝ take my hand, and i will spare your friends. ❞ 053.   ❝ live today, fight tomorrow. ❞ 054.   ❝ everybody else we’ve bumped into has died. why not you? ❞ 055.   ❝ this just keeps gettin’ better and better. ❞ 056.   ❝ finish the inscription on the cover, idiot! ❞ 057.   ❝ i thought you said it was gonna kill him! ❞ 058.   ❝ well, i guess we go home empty handed. again. ❞ 059.   ❝ i’ll tell you a story sometime. ❞ 060.   ❝ those are poisonous, you know. ❞ 061.   ❝ you mean more attractive, sweet, and devilishly charming? ❞ 062.   ❝ ever since i had that dream, this place is all i can think about. ❞ 063.   ❝ ever since you had that dream, i haven’t had a decent night of sleep. ❞ 064.   ❝ i feel like i’ve been here before. i know i’ve been here before. ❞ 065.   ❝ now you’re starting to scare me. ❞ 066.   ❝ i’m starting to scare myself. ❞ 067.   ❝ i don’t have a good feeling about this. ❞ 068.   ❝ get out of my way or i’m gonna shoot you in the face! ❞ 069.   ❝ i know what you’re thinking, and the answer’s no. ❞ 070.   ❝ sounds too good. what’s the catch? ❞ 071.   ❝ have i kissed you today? ❞ 072.   ❝ [name], behave yourself for five minutes, alright? ❞ 073.   ❝ did i mention i’m single now? ❞ 074.   ❝ definitely not the best idea. ❞ 075.   ❝ i have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment. ❞ 076.   ❝ i haven’t done anything to anybody… lately. ❞ 077.   ❝ not to point fingers, but isn’t it your job to make sure that doesn’t happen? ❞ 078.   ❝ you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse! ❞ 079.   ❝ if you see anyone come running out screaming, it’s just me. ❞ 080.   ❝ these guys don’t use doors. ❞ 081.   ❝ i was forced to find an alternative means of transportation. ❞ 082.   ❝ are all librarians this much trouble? ❞ 083.   ❝ now we shall see how brave you are. ❞ 084.   ❝ the sands of time have already begun to pour against you. ❞ 085.   ❝ we don’t have time for subtle. ❞ 086.   ❝ i just thought it made me look more dashing. ❞ 087.   ❝ you’re not catching me at my best. ❞ 088.   ❝ unless, of course, we go with your approach… ❞ 089.   ❝ if a man does not embrace his past, he has no future. ❞ 090.   ❝ it is the missing piece of your heart. ❞ 091.   ❝ no, they’re memories, from my previous life. ❞ 092.   ❝ only the journey’s written, not the destination. ❞ 093.   ❝ there is a fine line between coincidence, and fate. ❞ 094.   ❝ when the time comes, i shall truly enjoy killing you. ❞ 095.   ❝ make me proud. ❞ 096.   ❝ you’re real strong. you’re gonna make it. ❞ 097.   ❝ okay, now i’m a believer. ❞ 098.   ❝ go to hell, and take your friends with you! ❞ 099.   ❝ it’s not worth your life, you idiot! ❞ 100.   ❝ who the hell have you been messing with this time, huh? ❞

LILY HOUGHTON + smiling