worry about it kitten daddy fucked up

completely burnt out on porn and naked men i need something new

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

swifties always going on the "you just hate women" defense like first of all Taylor Swift is not a woman she's an unskippable ad

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

everyone wants masc carpenter trade until his rough calloused handjob sands your thing down small and smooth as a river stone

me talking to a drummer: these metal discs you hit… fascinating. i adore the one which resembles a clam.

There's a she-shrimp in the closet...

starting the countdown until gaylors start saying that Adam Sandler officiating Taylor's wedding (sorry if this is how you found out) is actually proof that it's a sham because it's a reference to I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), in which Sandler and Kevin James play heterosexual men who enter a mutually beneficial fake gay marriage, a dynamic that Taylor is inverting as a queer woman pretending to be straight while cleverly flagging the obvious farce to those with the eyes to see

this is worst than finding out from a castiel meme

When his finger comes back smellier