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as a kid, i used to think that telekinesis really was possible if you could focus all of your brainpower to it. obviously, i was a fucking stupid little kid.

too stupid to unlock telekinesis like everyone else apparently lmaooo

*old balding comedian voice* hear about that new iphone? A thousand dollars, wow. the only phone id pay a thousand dollars to use is one thatd let me talk to my wife and kids again

It’s okay you can say Louie CK

Actually i legally cant

My favorite thing on Tumblr are translated Russian cats.

did i ever tell ppl about the time me and my family thought my older brother was gay and dating his best friend? they used to hold hands and cuddle and shit all the time and cause my brothers super quiet we kinda just thought that was him coming out and didn’t really say anything about it. this went on for maybe two yrs and then one day he arrives home with this girl and is all ‘id like you guys to meet my girlfriend’. at this point everyone is ’????’ and my mom is literally crying and like ‘u broke up with James?!?!?!’ and honestly I’ve never seen a man more confused in his life and yeah that’s the time my family fucked up for like 2 yrs

Why were they cuddling and holding hands may I ask

because they wanted to

let guys be intimate friends 2k17

the peak of online communication is having different convos with the same person in different chats all at the same time