Interracial Couple

This weekend we had a little tiny bit of sun on this little island called Britain. So here I’m just minding my own business, living my best life as a low-key Tumblr micro-influencer with a whopping a few hundred followers, where I post the occasional risqué photo of me and my ridiculously tall, muscular black fiancée, because, hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it, right?

I’m out on the street, probably looking like I just rolled out of bed with a needed cup of coffee in hand but pretending it’s "aesthetic", when suddenly a big white man with a shaved head stops me, and shouts: "Oi! You’re that Tumblr bird, ain’t ya? The one with the massive black fella and all them cosy pics! Proper cute, me and my missus loves your posts!"

Cue me: internally combusting. On one hand, I’m chuffed, like, wow, someone actually recognises me from my very niche corner of the internet where I overshare my life. On the other hand, I’m low-key wondering if I should start carrying pepper spray because how does this stranger know my hardly known Tumblr handle?!

It’s the modern dilemma: equal parts “Yay, I’m internet famous!” and “Oh no, I’m internet famous.”