hi yeah we have an accessible event. it's at 7:20am. well obviously because disabled people don't work. or go school. or have obligations. popular timeslots are reserved for real people c'mon. yeah there's 3 whole tickets available for disabled people! oh they're sold out? you should have ordered it sooner then. i guess you can pay full price for you and your essential companion instead. just don't expect any accommodations if you do okay? no there's no parking. of course there isn't. you can take the train though. the nearest station was built in the 20th century and has 300 stairs. that's fine, right? but hey remember no outside food. what, allergies and food intolerances? of course we can't cater for those here, i mean what did you expect? just show up and one of our lovely accessibility team members will guide you. after you beat them in deadly combat of course. oh and we'll use every strobe light known to man. have fun!
