Dreamer

I love ur acc so much you seem so cool !! 😼

HII

‧₊˚ ⋅ ☕︎ 𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

🐟⋆｡𖦹°🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🐟⋆｡𖦹°🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🐟⋆｡𖦹°🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

9.5/10 if we were to accept that no writing ever can be an absolute 10/10

*slight spoilers*

The reason I picked up this book was because it was about "obsessive friendship". As we know I am VERY into complicated female friendships. Never did I expect to relate so much to a main character in my life before.

My thoughts while reading the entire time were "am I Eriko or is Eriko me?". It was so uncanny how similar we are that I had to put the book down multiple times. It felt as if I was being dissected and I had to watch the entire process.

Eriko hated misunderstandings after what happened with Keiko. That's why she was so desperately trying to display her feelings to Shōko. To show her that she doesn't want to hurt her, even if she is unintentionally doing so.

Eriko was trying to help someone (Shōko) get their life together who never asked for help. That's why she ended up becoming controlling. She believes that his wife lazy life of hers is a failure.

At the same time, though, she wants to live this life. Her obsession also comes from a place in her heart that just wants to relax, not chase success in her job, her social life or appearance. She wants to know what it feels like to take it easy. "Do I wanna be with her or do I wanna be her?" was Eriko's internal dilemma, even if she didn't realise it.

Honestly, i loved it when she finally lost it and started blackmailing Shōko. If you imagine it like a 90s anime movie, e.g. perfect blue or paprika parade, it's absolutely perfect. The blue lighting, the obsessive smile, Shōko's terrified eyes and the Nile perch in the background.

In her search for freedom, she goes insane. At least in the eyes of others, like Shōko's. Shōko is so used to interacting with men that she's also adapted to their way of thinking. When she sees Eriko on their trip, naked, swimming in the onsen, sharing her thoughts and in general being free, she is disgusted. She does not realise that this is how women are supposed to be. Hairy, awkward, wise and a little disturbing.

I also really liked Eriko's monologue on why women are turned against each other by men. She is right, and Shōko realises, but she ignores it. She doesn't only realise that Eriko is right, but also how actually smart Eriko is, even if disturbing and toxic and controlling.

I also want to talk about Shōko's father. He represents someone who wants the idea of help, not the act of it. Shōko realises and even thinks "she understood for the first time, and with her whole heart, that there were people in this world that you simply couldn't get through to"

In the end, Eriko needs to move on from everything that was trapping her. Shōko, her job, being perceived by men, Tokyo. Keiko helps her realise that the point of a friendship maybe isn't for it to last forever. It is to look back on the happy moments when you meet again after years. That's also what happened with her and Keiko in the last chapter. Honestly, it was my favourite along with chp 26.

Men don't often create vulnerable or sensitive friendships. The friendships we know and see between men most often are very shallow. The only exception is, sometimes, when in a relationship with women. So when we finally see them show feelings with one another, we think that the only circumstance under which they would do this is share romantic feelings. Hence why when we see two men in public being close and holding hands, we jump to the conclusion that they are gay. We, as women, are so happy to finally see a bond between men, and we always embrace it, so that's how it ends up being fetishized.

On the contrary, women share these kind of bonds every day with other women, even if they don't know each other very well. Hence why when we see two women in public being close or holding hands, you can't tell if they are bestfriends, just friends, sisters, or dating, unless we see them kiss on the lips. Women are able to create very deep and complicated relationships with one another, when their feelings are genuine, that goes beyond just romantic. They can create a relationship that is simultaneously motherly, sisterly, friendly, and romantic, all that without even having to be in a relationship. So when you shallow down such complicated relationships to just romantic for the sake of fanfics or shows, it's pretty blunt, unless you want to spend your time just watching the intimacy between them (which is acceptable I get it but it's still not the full potential).