why would i link to facebook

Today is 15/15/15 the last time this will happen ever

@ fetish blogs that follow me: i’ll sell pictures of my feet for $50

Sleep is literally the most pleasurable thing ever why do I deprive myself of it lmao

Momma Bear

This might come as a shock to some of you but saying “I’m not informed enough on this particular topic to have an opinion” is about 100 times more respectable than being misinformed

One of my friends asked me the other day if I would suck one thousand dicks for a billion dollars, and I love questions like that because not only are they so demonstrative of the no-homo society we live in, but they also show a fundamental lack of understanding that some people have for the value of money. Like, do you realize just how much money one billion dollars is? Do you realize I could live my life in the lap of luxury buying literally everything I could ever want and still have a fortune to leave to my children?? For sucking some dicks?? We are talking 1 million dollars per dick sucked!! That’s just economical like come on man.

1 billion dollars and all you’d have to do is suck a dick every day for the next 2.7 years. That’s it. Plenty of people already do that. You could quit your job and literally suck dick for a living. You could suck two dicks a day and only have to suck dick for 1.4 years. You could suck 5 dicks a day for about 6 months. 5 DICKS A DAY FOR 6 MONTHS FOR A BILLION DOLLARS, OF COURSE I’LL FUCKIN DO THAT. THAT’S THE DREAM, THAT’S FUCKIN HEAVEN.

and here i was thinking about sucking dick for free

….hello…………..

“I too am Muslim”

I can’t.

😒

Dr Phil heard a knock on the door, looked out the window, saw Death standing there, and shut the blinds

this is tim heidecker cosplaying as dr. phil