saltwater & leaves

no one tells you how quickly time goes. actually they do but your brain doesn’t process it because pregnancy feels decades long. but time feels nonexistent when you’re a mother. newborn days of no sleep felt like two days and two years simultaneously. days of five minutes of tummy time turned into crawling in a blink of an eye.

we’ve entered the clingy stage. k refuses to be anywhere but in my arms. the first few days of this I caught myself getting frustrated because I wanted to use the toilet and eat in peace without tiny fingers getting tangled in things that shouldn’t be tangled. he now decided to undo all the sleep training we’ve done in the last four months with him in the crib. he now sleeps beside me and will cry if he doesn’t feel me next to him.

I am tired. physically, mentally and emotionally tired.

BUT

i remind myself that he is 9 months old only once. He will out grow the clingy stage. He will want his big boy bed and sleep alone one day. and with this frame of mindset, I am no longer frustrated. I’d rather have no sleep just to gaze on his sleeping frame and watch him breathe. I will soak up every moment of his touch.