the Lizard Queen

You’re not asking for too much you’re just asking the wrong person

mood: the mexican dude who told judge judy “this is your show but this is my episode”

did y’all hear about the deli owner that got robbed

they jacked his meat

me @ very talkative cats: i love you so much. please continue your story. tell me about your day. i love you

god please send me a man who likes putting face masks on and doing skincare routines with me amen

i looked this up cause i wanted to know if you could and you can technically but then you’re instantly guilty of contempt of court and go directly to jail

Honestly still a power move

u ever catch yourself overthinking then you’re like bitch what the fuck who cares

Bone massage… I want soft bones

no you don’t, bitch.

*jiggles and flops towards you* what? Huh?