honestly /r/ just makes me feel really bad. basically he thinks im a pathetic piece oā poop who has no friends because i blindly revolve my entire existence around chips. he doesnt really talk to me but when he does he likes to use his opportunity to wreck me and allude to the thoughts heās having atm like basically /why r u here?/ /why do u two even spend time together if youre not going out to do things i deem are cool?/ /why do u not have girls that u r close to like u are chips?/ /you only chose your college bc chips was going there/ /if you dont have chips then u have nothing/Ā
hes been saying things with those meanings for almost 2 years, its slight and usually no one minds it much except for me and i have to deflect his questions with joking undertones with innocent answers as if i dont know exactly what hes thinking... usually he makes comments when i am already feeling low and they r like jabs, reminding me that he, and other people i know, like to talk about/gossip about people they know, and that he is talking about me and chips and how pathetic he thinks i am and analyzing things ive done so he can rag on me
even if he doesnt do that Ā gossiping with other people its almost like i can feel him thinking about it in his head, its like, even with other people his tone can be so condescending, hes likeĀ āwell what do you guys do? like how does that work?ā and its like i can feel him judging other peopleās feelings and decisions so hard...
its physically taxing and i dont need that bad jubies in my life.. i dont need someone who assumes im pathetic, that i cant make my own decisions or have independent thought, and that cannot ask a sincere question without a tone of superiority-even w his own friends ..
