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The Official Sugar Baby Reading List (Strippers, Escorts, Cam Girls too) *40 books*

I remember reviewing two popular books that could be easily be applied to an aspiring sugar baby (or any sex worker for that matter). I did say that I was going to review the many others in my repertoire BUT ain’t nobody got time for dat. So I will just list the books. This include books on power, manipulating men, sex, etc. ((In no particular order))

**Disclaimer: This is MY personal list of books that I own whether in book, kindle or audio form. This list includes sexually related books. No, I’m not saying as a (SB/Stripper/Escort/etc.) that you need to have sex. In no way am I insinuating that in this list. Just listing books that worked for ME in my personal life.**

1. Women Have All The Power… Too Bad They Don’t Know It: Secrets Every Man’s Daughter Should Know by Michael J. Lockwood

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2. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey

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3. The Power of the Pussy: How to Get What You Want From Men Love, Respect, Commitment and More…What Do You Want? by Kara King

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4. A Gold Digger’s Guide (How to get what you want without giving it up) by Baje Fletcher

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5. Sugar Daddy 101: What You Need to Know if You Want to be a Sugar Baby by Leidra Lawson

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6. The Art Of Gold Digging by Tariq King Flex Nasheed

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7. Seeking Arrangement: The Definitive Guide to Sugar Daddy and Mutually Beneficial Relationships by Brandon Wade

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8. 6 Simple Tricks To CRACK THE MAN CODE And Get Any Guy To Open His Heart by Michael Fiore

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9. How to Snare a Millionaire NOW: A sequel to the Ultimate Guide on Marrying for Both Love and Money by Lisa Johnson Mandell

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10. Get Anyone to Do Anything by David J. Lieberman Ph.D.

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11. The Geisha Secret: Ancient Dating Rituals Proven to Win a Modern Man’s Heart by Hanako

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12. The Vixen Manual: How to Find, Seduce & Keep the Man You Want by Karrine Steffans

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13. The Internet Escort’s Handbook Book 1: The Foundation by Amanda Brooks

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14. The Internet Escort’s Handbook Book 2: Advertising and Marketing by Amanda Brooks

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15. The Attraction Factor - 4 Simple Yet Powerful Principles That Will Melt Any Man’s Heart by Bob Grant

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16. Marry a Millionaire - The Best Places To Find Rich Men by Coach Juliet

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17. How to Talk to Anyone by Leil Lowndes

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18. How To Develop Self-Confidence and Influence Peoplle by Pulic Speaking by Dale Carnegie

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19. The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

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20. Going Down: The Instinct Guide to Oral Sex by Ben R. Rogers ((Yes, it’s written from the perspective of a gay male but VERY useful nonetheless.))

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21. Blow Him Away: How to Give Him Mind-Blowing Oral Sex by Marcy Michaels

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22. The Power of Eye Contact by Michael Ellsberg

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23. The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene

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24. The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara Pease

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25. The Satanic Witch by Anton Szandor LaVey ((Don’t be fooled/scared by the title of the book. A very good read for women that would like to use their inherited manipulation skills))

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26. What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro

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27. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini

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28. The Gold Digger’s Guide: How To Marry The Man And The Money by Ivana Rich

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29. The Fortune Hunters: Dazzling Women and the Men They Married by Charlotte Hays

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30. How to Marry Money by Kevin Doyle

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31. How to Marry Super Rich by Sheilah Graham

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32. The Guide to Becoming the Sensuous Black Woman (And Drive Your Man Wild In and Out of Bed!) by Miss T.

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33. How to Look Expensive: A Beauty Editor’s Secrets to Getting Gorgeous without Breaking the Bank by Andrea Pomerantz Lustig

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34. How to Marry the Rich by Ginie Polo Sayles

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35. Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money—That the Poor and the Middle Class Do Not! by Robert T. Kiyosaki

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36. From Ramen to Riches: Building Wealth in Your 20s: Or Spending, Saving, Investing and Managing Your Money to Get Rich Slowly, but Surely by James Wood

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37. Wealthy Men for Money or Love 21.2 Century Guide for VIP Escorts and Single Women by Jessica Diamond

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38. The Princess Plan: Shrink your waist. Expand your beauty by Dr. Jennifer Hanes

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39. How To Get a Rich Man by Donna Spangler

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40. Smart Girls Marry Money: How Women Have Been Getting Duped into the Romantic Dream-and How They’re Paying For It by Daniela Drake

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& Many More.. Part 2 Coming Soon

•18+ Adults Only

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How to stop being needy and detach emotionally from men

I see a lot of women on here asking about this and it’s really vital that everyone understands this mentality because it goes so much deeper than just “playing hard to get” and getting a guy. Emotional detachment will benefit you in ALL areas of your life. Being a slave to your emotions and reacting to every external event will guarantee you will always feel out of control and more often you will be miserable than satisfied with the outcomes in your life.

Emotional detachment is a core principle in many spiritual philosophies and therapeutic practices. It doesn’t mean you don’t feel anything, it means you are able to distance yourself from your thoughts, emotions, and the impulses that they lead to. It is a VERY healthy thing to practice. It doesn’t mean you can’t love or care about someone, in fact the more you practice this, the more you will be able to discern which person is right for you and you will have a much better chance of creating loving and caring relationships.

I see women getting upset, sad, and angry that a guy they have been on 2 dates with ghosted them. I see women waste their whole lives in bad relationships. We see the horror stories posted on here from AITA and relationship advice, where we can tell just by reading a few paragraphs that the dude a woman is dating is a complete loser, yet she can’t break it off with him because she’s too emotionally attached. Everywhere, women are crying and wasting their precious time and energy trying to change a man or not being able to get over a breakup because they’re SO attached to a dude who does not give a crap about them. So many women end up losing themselves to their emotions and fantasies about how they want their relationship to be instead of realizing they have the power to control themselves and their emotions and cut ties with someone who can’t step up for them, but you don’t have to be this way!

First of all, realize that there is some work you need to do before you start dating. You need to know EXACTLY what you want to get out of a relationship. So many women start dating with this delusion that they’re gonna fall in love and everything will just work out on its own. This is not the case. Men will string you along for years to get sex and validation only to dump you and leave you with nothing. Men often stay in relationships they don’t plan on keeping forever. You see him as “the one” and he sees you as the one he keeps around for now. You need to be keenly aware of how much you are GIVING and RECEIVING. Women will give and give and give endlessly with the expectation that a man will reciprocate only to be repeatedly disappointed so before you even begin to entertain a man you need to know exactly what you want.

Do you want to be monogamous? Do you want to get married? Do you want to have children? How many children do you want to have? Do you want to work or do you want to be a stay at home mom? Do you want to raise your children in a certain religion or spiritual practice? What do you consider as “cheating”? How long do you want to wait to get engaged and married? What are the qualities you want in a partner? What are your dealbreakers?

There are no wrong answers, but you need to be honest with yourself or you’ll never get what you want. Thinking LONG TERM will be a huge step towards weeding out the wrong men. You don’t need to bust out a list of your expectations on the first date, but you should have a solid blueprint for how you envision your relationship and you should feel comfortable discussing these things with a man you’re dating once you’ve been seeing him consistently and saying goodbye if he balks.

Next, you need to determine if you are emotionally ready to date. If you’ve recently gotten out of a relationship, you should not be dating. If you’ve been single for a while and still find yourself getting super nervous before a date or crazily excited whenever a new guy texts you, you should not be dating. Even a guy who isn’t necessarily “bad” can sense that you’re anxious and needy and he won’t treat you with the same respect as a woman who isn’t sweating him in the slightest. Ever notice how the guy you *don’t* like will want to do more things for you? And the guy you’re fantasizing about constantly leaves you on read and ghosts you? Neediness and desperation is absolutely repulsive to *everyone*. Have you ever been in a situation with a guy that won’t leave you alone no matter what and no matter how many times you try to convey that you’re not interested he just doesn’t give up? It’s annoying, isn’t it? This is how men feel when you are too emotionally invested in them, but the difference is they don’t mind using you for sex short term. Even if you’re strategically trying to play hard to get and acting aloof, he can sense that you like him way more than you’re letting on.

You *CANNOT HIDE* your insecurities and neediness around relationships. They will not go away even with “the right guy” I PROMISE because your insecurities have everything to do with YOU and very little to do with the man. Yes, a man can exacerbate your insecurities with manipulation, but they wouldn’t be able to do it in the first place if you dealt with them properly.

You want to reach a point of utter INDIFFERENCE towards men before you are ready to date. I realize this sounds heartless, but please understand that it is your EMOTIONS that cause you to get played over and over by men. Keep your list of things you want from a relationship handy and don’t hope that the first guy you talk to is gonna be everything you want because it is likely that he won’t be. Most men are just looking for sex. Don’t hype him up in your head and decide yourself into thinking he might be the one. Instead, be analyzing if he is a match to your desires and cut him off if he isn’t.

If reading this has struck a chord with you and you’ve realized that you tend to over invest emotionally and get all excited about a man you barely know and then feel SUPER disappointed when he doesn’t live up to your expectations, you have some more work to do. Stop dating. Stop prioritizing men. Realize that men do not prioritize relationships the same way that women are socialized to. Men do want relationships, marriage, children, etc but they don’t spend nearly as much mental energy on those things as we do. You can want something without letting it consume your whole life! Stay single until you reach a point where you feel good about yourself no matter what’s going on.

HOW TO DETACH:

The reason we want relationships and waste so much time on the wrong guy is because we want the positive emotions that we think we will get from a relationship. An easy way to detach from this is to find ways to experience those emotions in other ways. If you want to feel loved, love yourself and spend time with friends, family, and pets who love you. If you want emotional intimacy, find a therapist who you can reveal your deepest vulnerabilities and traumas to. Often we try to connect to a man by being vulnerable, but we do it WAY too soon and with the wrong guy and then we’re attached because we told him everything and next thing we know he’s gone. If you want sex, PLEASE do not just get a fuck buddy, honestly, I wish women would realize that sex for the sake of sex is not worth it. You can get a vibrator. Needing sex will put you in a weak position and screw up your relationships in the long term. Control your lust the same way you would control the urge for eating sweets or overspending. You should not *need* any one particular person for anything. It doesn’t matter what you think you NEED from a man, I guarantee you can find something equally as good if you just give it a little bit of thought and effort rather than defaulting to this notion that a guy will be able to consistently provide you with the validation and pleasures that you desire.

Make a list of all of the things you *THINK* you want to feel from a relationship and think of ways you can get those things by yourself. You will develop much more confidence keeping yourself busy with friends, family, career, and hobbies than trying to get certain things from a man and ironically, the less you needy you are, the more likely it is that a guy will want to give you what you want.

Along those same lines, you need to stop noticing and checking men out. Train yourself to be completely indifferent to a man’s attractiveness. Recently I was with a coworker who was scrolling through her IG feed and looking at pics of guys and saying stuff like “ooh he’s so hot” “damn I want him” and it was SO cringey. A woman should not be thirsting after men just based off of his looks. If you’re out in public, don’t purposely look at men. Look past them. Be in your own little world. If a man approaches YOU that’s different, but please don’t be the girl who stares at guys. Do not be looking for a man wherever you go. When I go out, I get approached much more by men when I’m busy on my phone than purposely trying to be friendly. If I’m sitting on a park bench or in a cafe and I don’t look up when a guy is walking by me he’s much more likely to say something to get my attention. If you give your attention away freely to every guy in your space, you are giving off desperate pick me vibes and it is VERY unattractive. If you happen to make eye contact with a guy and he’s clearly checking you out and wondering if he should approach, you may give him a QUICK smile to give him the green light, but for God’s sake do not approach him first or be overly friendly and accommodating.

Once you have lowered the importance of a man’s presence in your life to virtually zero and you’ve worked on your insecurities, found a therapist, gotten ahead in your career, have your financial situation handled, have lots of friends and hobbies to keep you busy, the next thing is to focus on becoming the most attractive version of yourself and start accepting dates. I’m not gonna tell you how you need to dress, wear your hair, etc so this part is up to YOU. I will say that in general, taking care of your appearance will increase your success in getting dates so if you want men to notice you and ask you out, dressing nicely and doing your hair and makeup will benefit you. The better you look, the higher quality men you will attract. I know this might seem contradictory because I just spent so long explaining how you need to avoid doing things for men, but you want to start dating at some point and the reasoning behind becoming more physically attractive is to make you more confident about yourself. I know it’s superficial, but let’s be real, looks do matter. You want to feel good about the way you look and if you focus on being more attractive in your day to day life, you’ll realize that you have SO many options. If you put together a nice outfit to run errands rather than hitting the grocery store in sweatpants and an old t-shirt, you will get noticed a LOT and then it won’t matter so much when one guy flakes on you.

The reason we get so desperate for one man to like us is because we worry that we won’t be able to find another one that we like as much, but when you start getting attention from men everywhere you go, you won’t even trip over it. You will realize that men are EVERYWHERE and you can get asked out on dates often when you’re just living your life. Also, a man is less likely to screw up when he knows that you present yourself in an appealing way every single day. If he knows you normally wear a dress and heels to go shopping, he knows that other men are going to be constantly noticing you and he’s not going to take you for granted. Make it a regular habit to dress up and put on a little bit of makeup when you go out. If you know you need to lose weight, do it. Eat a healthy diet, work out, and always keep yourself fit and looking good. This doesn’t stop once you get a guy either. You should be open to receiving some attention from men even when you are in a committed relationship. This doesn’t mean cheating, it means saying thank you when a man gives you a compliment, not angrily blurting out “I have a boyfriend!” You need to maintain the confidence to strut around and make other men want you so when a man you’re interested in starts acting distant, you don’t get that upset because you know you’re a catch and you can easily replace him. This will remove the neediness from your mentality. It should feel normal to receive attention from men.

Next, once you’ve been playing the field for a while and you start to really like one guy in particular, you need to make sure you don’t fall for him too quickly. I see a lot of women fall head over heels for a guy within the first few months of dating only to be utterly disappointed when his real personality gets revealed. Men will always try to impress you in the beginning, but this does not mean he is a HVM or marriage material. Do not spend time thinking about a man you are seeing. Be BUSY. Don’t re-read your text conversations over and over and gush about how much you like him to all your friends. Remain neutral and detached. Stop indulging in fantasies about what your future will be like together. You don’t KNOW for certain if a guy is going to act a certain way forever. Maintain your independence. Don’t spend too much time with him, keep dates short, don’t spend weeks at his place, always have other plans and activities in your life that do not involve him. Observe his actions objectively and DO NOTTTTTTTTTT blindly believe everything he tells you. Don’t be outwardly cold and skeptical towards him, remain warm and show interest, but always look for actions to match words. Men are skillful liars and deceivers. Do not be naive. Men can also lose interest very quickly. There are no guarantees in life. Do not get all excited and invested in a future that could fall through at any moment. I KNOW this sounds super pessimistic, but the reality is you can’t count on anything so it’s better to enjoy the things in your life that are actually happening. You can enjoy the present moment with the man you are with and feel all the happiness and pleasure without setting up expectations. A man can say lots of things and mean them in the moment, but he can also change his mind at any moment and leave your hopes utterly shattered.

This brings me to the next point, don’t commit right away! There’s absolutely no reason to stop going on dates with other men just because you’ve met one guy you really like. I’m not encouraging cheating, I’m saying hold off on agreeing to exclusivity for a while. A lot of men will push for exclusivity early on, but do not be fooled. Do not be flattered if a man asks you to be his girlfriend after a month. A man who has intentions on marrying you and fulfilling your desires will be mature enough to wait for you to feel comfortable and ready. If you want to get married, tell him you will only commit to a relationship with a person who intends to propose within a year. Men will often try to lock you down to make you cut off your options while entertaining other women and keeping their dating profiles up. Don’t fall for it! Do not expect men to play fair no matter how nice he *seems*. There are men who are so adept at lying, manipulating, and using power plays to keep you on a leash and you will have no recourse if you get cheated on and played. A man should be regularly showing up for you and showing consistency for MONTHS before you even consider cutting off your other options and a man should be aware of your expectations before you commit. Then, once you’ve committed, if he hasn’t proposed to you in the amount of time you agreed on, WALK AWAY. Seriously. Don’t waste any more time hoping this guy will change. He won’t. Again, men lie. Men manipulate. Men deceive. You should never ever be afraid to walk away from a man who is not giving you what you want.

Lastly, but probably most importantly of all, wait to have sex. We’ve heard this many times and everyone has different opinions on the right amount of time to wait so I’m not gonna give you a definitive time frame, but I would strongly recommend waiting at least 3 months. No, it is not a long time to wait. People still wait until they’re married to have sex. Don’t be afraid of hurting a guy’s feelings or making him upset. It is VERY important that you get to know someone before you sleep with them. We all know by now that women’s brains release all sorts of hormones and feel-good neurotransmitters that make us emotionally attached to a man that we sleep with so if you really want to stay objective about dating and make sure a guy is not gonna play you, WAIT. The right man will wait. The right man will respect your autonomy.

Remember, having expectations and standards will not make a guy lose interest in you UNLESS all he wanted was sex in which case you’re better off without him. Having a life and being busy will not make a man lose interest. Being emotionally detached and taking care of yourself will not make a man lose interest. Do not be afraid that by doing any of the things I mentioned you will lose out on any opportunities. The only thing you will “lose” is the emotionally unavailable predators who are only interested in what they can get from you and have no interest in building a future together.

Always prioritize YOURSELF. Never put yourself in a position where you are entirely dependent on a man for anything. Never be emotionally or financially dependent on a man. Never NEED a man for anything. You can be in a good committed relationship with a man who is empathetic and shows up for you, but you still want to find alternative ways to get your needs met. If a man knows you don’t need him, he will want you even more. He will know that you can walk away at any moment and he will do SO MUCH MORE to keep you around and he won’t feel constrained by constantly having to take care of you. He will WANT to take care of you because you can take care of yourself. He will show up and do nice things for you because he values you and respects you. He will be thoughtful because you’re not placing so many demands on him. Emotional detachment is freedom for both people in a relationship. It allows space for each person to do live their life and still have a stable relationship to enjoy.

Some additional recommendations I have are meditation, positive affirmations, and going for a long walk to clear your head everyday. Keep doing things that will keep your emotions in check. De-stressing yourself and finding ways to feel positive about yourself will ensure that no matter what happens, you will be fine. Do not ever let yourself get torn apart by a man. Yes, you can be upset if a man ups and leaves you or cheats on you, but it should not be a life destroying event. You need to always have other things that feel good to you and a man should not take up more than 5% of your mental energy on any given day. You need to be thinking about other things, other people, yourself, your goals, your career, your kids, your responsibilities, your passions, etc. The more you think about a man the more emotionally attached you get and the less he will appreciate you. Don’t do it to yourself.

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