Nxva ✨️🌌

Simon the Convict

> if you were ever in any way physically harmed, either by an outside assailant or by the conditions of just... being human - alarm bells. just pure panic. though he wouldn't show it at first - Simon's not the kind of person to panic openly, not visibly, not at the first instance - but it would be there, somewhere in the corners of his eyes, springing into action and shielding you away from whatever had caused it without a second though. some asshole tussling with you? his hand is already forming a fist before he can even think about it. something wrong with you, internally? already drafting up the perfect position, sliding his arms around you effortlessly, keeping you level and preventing even more hurt. being affected by something else - the weather, the temperature, something falling on you or going awry around you? pulling you into him, or behind him. whichever is safest at the moment

> later, he'll panic. later, when you're asleep, or resting, in another room, where you can't see him - or, if you aren't aware enough to be coherent, to focus on him - he's in the room with you, gripping your hand, breathing heavily against it as he peppers kisses across the expanse of your knuckles. he won't blame himself, not necessarily, but he'll be more concerned about how much he's able to do for you in the moment. he's not the most experienced guy, per se, but he has seen and lived through his fair share of brutal, damaging, physically debilitating events, so- he's been in your shoes, and even if he hasn't, he can compare it to something he has been through. in that sense, he fears how accurate his own experiences might be, and whether or not he's missing anything

> he's not a doctor, so pills? which exactly you should take and when? little to no clue. but he will keep a strict schedule hanging over your head and will definetly act as your guard dog/nurse. can't get yourself upright to drink your meds? he's got you, one arm behind your back and slowly, carefully, shifting you into a sitting position before handing you a glass, alternatively putting it to your lips himself. something's not comfortable? tell him, he can switch it out. don't hold back. the rest of the time he spends near you - on the floor, lounging by the foot of your bed, or on a chair, watching you as you sleep. it's not creepy - that's so far out of his mind at the minute that he's not even think about the implications of it. he's extremely focused on keeping you safe right now, so he needs to watch you. what if your breath hitches wrong? what if you accidentally choke in your sleep? he has to be there. he has to be aware.

> you really had zero clue about how strong he is until you get hurt. maybe it's the instinct of humans who, when panicked, can ignore pain in order to perform extraordinary feats of strength - but even when he's calm, he's holding you up like you weight little to nothing. one arm around your entire torso, fingers palpable where they grip around your upper ribs, holding you up, the other keeping you both in balance, shifting this way and that by his side, as if you were one entity. sometimes, he'll get irritated by it, though he tries to be as patient as possible with you - and with a grunt, mumble something like 'You're too slow.' (when in reality, you're either hurting yourself even more by trying to walk, or you're just not efficient in it at all to the point where it's obvious you aren't ready for it yet), lugging you with one swift movement up into his arms, or piggybacking you, arms strewn across his shoulders. it's so surprising it nearly makes you jump out of your own skin - coupled with the expressness of the fact he did not warn you beforehand whatsoever. but he does carry you, and as much as you complain, he'll say nothing. not even give you an excuse of 'I'm alright.' or 'It wasn't a big deal.'. it's just something that you needed, so he made sure it got done. simple as that

> doesn't treat you like a burden at all. Simon will always, first and foremost, believe you are as strong as you say. you would never lie to him, would you? and even if you fail - hey, you just assumed wrong about your own strength. happens to the best of us. but he'll let you try to do things on your own, let you fail before he jumps in to help. because you are strong, and you are capable - so who is he to baby you? (plus, he'd rather not deal with the whining of 'I can do it myself.' until you yourself see that you really can't. you learn better when you're presented with concrete proof. he knows that - he's the same way.) but if the consequences of your actions are too severe to let you fail, like hurting yourself even more catastrophically, or prolonging your recovery period - he'll have a stern talking to with, or more so at you, beforehand. might even argue with you, honestly. but in the end, if you're really stubborn, he'll sigh and let you do as you please (he has a nasty habit of going 'Told you so.' after you do something particularly not thought through. he'll still help you up, but it can get annoying sometimes.)

> trusts nobody around you to help. everyone else who can even remotely enter that room is stared down like prey, eyes stormy and hardened, radiating precedented violence. only with his permission, implied or spoken, does anyone advance towards you - despite his eyes wavering this way and that, unfocused and swimming around his eyeballs with exhaustion, worried for you. the only one he'll let within touching distance of any part of your body is licensed professionals, doctors, medics and the like. even then, he'll be hesitant but realistic. Simon's not exactly possessive, so that's not the issue - the issue is the groans of pain, however needed, that you expel as whoever is examining you is making you produce. every single one makes him flinch, because - you're not meant to feel that. if he could, he'd feel all the pain for you, even if he knows it's impossible for you not to survive the examination. it's the principle of it - not that you can't, but that you shouldn't

> Simon's a drill sergeant and a parent all in one. if he can't control what meds you take, doesn't know anything about the compounds of it all - the least he can do is make sure you follow your set times to take them. you're muttering how you don't want to, whining and being difficult? pft, do you think he cares? you're taking those pills. you're getting your bandages replaced. shhh, shhh, he knows it hurts, but at least it's him, right? you know it's him. he wouldn't do it if it wasn't necessary. you'll get an infection otherwise, and trust him- those are even worse. just be patient. you don't even have to do anything. you're whining about how it all hurts, how you just want it to stop? he knows. he'll huff beside you, obviously troubled by your whining (in such a way that it hurts him too, that it frustrates him he can't magically somehow make it better), but he'll be firm. be quiet, you're only tiring yourself out more. you can cry, it's okay, he'll hold your hand through it, but be realistic - it'll pass soon, star. the calmer you are, the more you keep still, the worst of it will pass by faster.

> if you're kneading at his hand in yours, urging him to come and cuddle you into stillness? maybe even ask for a kiss? he'll be super reluctant - especially if you have a contagious disease. no, he's not doing it. no, you can't make him. no, pipe down. later, he promises, later, starlight. for now a hand will have to do. he'll smooth out your hair out of your face for you, apply a fresh towel, massage the spots that hurt - but he can't be that close to you. he can't. (and then, when you're asleep, he'll sneak a closer touch. something like leaning onto your sleeping body with his torso or head, pressing into you the lightest amount - or occupying the side of your bed where you're not currently stationed. he misses it too. he misses being able to hold you, but he has to be strong with you - who knows what you'll squeeze out of him, what border you'll crumble, what more you could ask for. what if he hurts you even more while trying to appease you? he has such a tendency to be accidentally rough with you - but here, where you don't move, don't whine, he can trace the curves of your face, he can glide his palms across the healthy, unaffected parts of your body. he can indulge. just a little. just so he doesn't go completely desperate and as whiny as you're being.)

> again, he's not a doctor. but he's had enough wounds to know exactly what can hurt and where. it's comforting, knowing someone knows the pain and can relate to it, immediately adjusting you as they go - preparing the bed to accomodate your specific needs, asking extra questions that aren't just the general 'Are you doing okay?' and 'Are you comfortable?' but ones actually peppered with advice. like, 'Do you need this specific pillow higher? It would help with this specific thing you have.' or, 'I heard somewhere that gentle exercise can help with this specific issue. D'you want us to try?', things like that

> if you're in need of any prosthetics or anything that could help you around - crutches, limb stabilizers, splints, slings, or any other additions, he either wants to know how they're made or even better - make them himself for you. sometimes he'll have no choice, but that's fine. he'd rather make them himself, anyways. it's not that he knows anything about how they're made, mind you - but he'll pick up a book or two to try and learn (and actually read a manual through and through this time, woah.). optionally, he'll probably try and check it with a medical professional, to see if it's correctly made - if one is available. but if the medic in question doesn't allow him to risk it, he'd like to see how it's made. for future reference, and you know, to make sure it doesn't hurt you in any way. he'd rather you didn't have a hard time adjusting to it, and that it's as comfortable as possible. Simon, of all people, knows how hard it is to adjust to prosthetics. (but a small part of him, especially if you lose an arm like he did, is kind of happy it's your arm. not that you lost your limb, of course, he'd never be happy about that - but this way, you're the same. and he can help, actively, physically, help. guide you into it, show you all the tricks and tips. and hey, if you lose your right arm or something - now you're like a puzzle. you have a set of working limbs between the two of you! or so he likes to joke.)

> he'll be goofier while you're recovering. as in, he'll be so worn down with worrying about you that he'll slip up more regularly, ruining his somewhat gruff, broody persona. Simon's never been the type to be constantly glum and all, but - well, life kind of reshapes you into that, does it not? especially the kind of life he's had to lead. and while, yes, you do bring out the brighter side in him, there's still a significant amount of effort needed to get him to actually, really laugh. with you in recovery, him tired, and just relieved you're safe? he'll crack a joke or two. especially if he can joke how you're a pair now, both 'damaged goods'. (if you hate that kind of thing, he won't repeat it again. and he'll probably dismiss if/when you act worried about it, calling self-demeaning jokes 'inappropriate for the moment at hand'. but if he does manage to make you laugh, if even slightly - that's a positive in his book. laughter means none of your main organs have been damaged beyond repair, and that - that's enough.)

> if you need to relearn how to walk, how to sit, or any fine motor functions akin to that? if your muscles atrophy and you have to build them up again? he's right there building a regiment for you, holding your hand through it all. he's not the best at anatomy, but he's worked out a lot in his prison days, and he knows what works for what muscle, if even vaguely. and with permission from your doctor, and some advice from others, alongside a good meal plan adjusted by, optimally, a nutritionist, but most likely given also by your doctor, he'll make sure you follow it. with simple, small, baby steps - helping you along, acting like a mobile crutch you can always lean on, and testing your limits, but also the kind of guy who sits at the table with you until your plate is scraped clean. almost so much he barely needs to wash it at all. those are your rations, doctor approved and prescribed. don't be difficult, dear.

> do not, for the love of everything you hold dear, let this man make you tea. he's okay at cooking, not fantastic, but he makes do - but steeping tea? please. don't. just don't. it'll always be oversteeped, or understeeped, or so bitter you can barely get some flavor in. it's mostly because he's used to scraps, so tea is an item of luxury - after all, it's main component is water. plus, things like honey, lemon, sugar? no. doesn't know how to measure them at all, since their own sweetners were usually of a different structure that made them way less sweet than your regular sugar or honey. so, oversweetened, tart tea that leaves a bitter film across your tongue even when you gulp it down. at that point, if you're feeling well enough, let him bring you the ingredients and steep it yourself. either that or stick to soup. he can make soup, at least

> you feel bad that maybe this injury is somehow your fault, or that Simon has to take care of you? immediately clamping his hand over your mouth. not. even. a. word. he knows the guilt, knows the horrible feeling that makes you sink even further into your own pillows, but... even if it is your fault (though it mostly isn't), what's done is done. he's not going to give up on you just because you're clumsy, or you think you're a nuisance. of course you're not. (if anything, this gives him an excuse to dote on you, which he loves to do anyhow. so, really, Simon should be thanking you. but he's not going to- I mean, you are hurt. that hurts him too. it's a tough choice.) but if you go overboard and apologise even after he's said it's okay? he is not immune to getting annoyed with you. you will be lightly slapped in the face with a wet towel, or silenced with one if you keep going. he already said it's okay, didn't he? you don't need to continue, trust him. even if he knows the feeling

> need a bath? he's got you. he... doesn't really know what kind of salts or bath soaps work best - he's never really had a proper bath before, either. but if your doctor recommends something? or, better yet, if either one of your coworkers mention something in passing like, 'Oh, my grandmother always used to vouch for eucalyptus/epsom salt baths.' - he's getting the closest thing, even going as far as to ask the person for confirmation. that's what they meant, right? (which is out of character, even for Simon, who's still pretty nervous around new people and would never approach them first. and if they're your coworkers - he's probably either met them briefly or not at all. progress?) he's lowering you gently into it, making sure the water's just right. uh, you don't mind if he undresses you, right? he'll try not to look if you don't want him to, but uh- you do, kind of, need to be... changed, so- it's fine. he'll figure it out. somehow. if you need your bandages changed, he takes it as an opportunity to do so - and if you have any stitches, he's carefully applying some sort of protection over them, like waterproof bandages or cling film. wouldn't want them to get all wet, would we? don't need them opening up or anything

> when you are feeling better, all wired up and buzzing, impatient to get out of bed even when your own body isn't, he's there to shush you into compliance. didn't you say you wanted to cuddle? well, you're well enough for you to do so! what do you mean, you don't want to anymore? are you getting tired of him? c'mon, just- lay down- just- hn- theeeere you go. nice and cozy and all tucked in. (meanwhile, he has you wrapped up like a caterpillar in its cocoon. you are not getting out of those blankets. don't even try, especially if you're weakened by your illness. you'll just tire yourself out.)

> Simon's the kind of person to keep you in bed even well after your recovery. how can he be sure you're okay? sure, you're capable, and strong, and you're doing amazing now - but you were like that, partially, even during your recovery. he just wants you to be safe. your muscles are still in a state of not being all the way there yet, so just - take it slow, huh? for him? he's still jumpy whenever you accidentally drop something or if you slip in any way, even if you catch yourself - patting you down with his hands, making sure you didn't hurt yourself. makes sure to regularly check you up with your doctor, too, even if he has to drag you to the appointments. hey, he's not happy about it, either - but anything for your health, anything. so, yeah, you're going. end of discussion. at least until your doctor gives you the green light so you don't have to anymore

> if you have any scars, either from stitches or just nicks, he makes sure to try and get you any balms he can to treat them as soon as possible, to make them stop feeling so tender, inquiring about newer ones and alternative options whenever he can. it's not so much as 'they need to be gone' kind of reason, but more so because whenever he does see them, they just seem... vulnerable, to him. like softer skin that's easily pierced, and it just... makes him a bit nervous. just a bit! (otherwise, when you're alone... he's also kind of happy you have them. as in, he's lived through them with you, and you made it out okay. it's your own little victory! and he's so proud of you for being so brave. he always makes sure to give them a bit of extra attention whenever he's kissing you, or marking a path across your body, wherever they may lie.)

Darkiplier

> we all know Dark has some sort of chronic illness - after all, the body they ended up possessing did die by being shot and thrown off a walkway. this presents Dark with a numerous amount of consequences - namely, a broken, reassembled body that, however reassembled it is, still isn't positioned correctly in some cases. who can blame them? they were just being formed at the time, too, and anatomy classes weren't an everyday thing for them, nor did Damien nor Celine have any prior knowledge in the subject

> for that reason, Dark often experiences aches - halted steps, misaligned spinal discs, lagging behind, sore joints, sensitivity to temperature - oh, and that pretty crooked neck. it's usually not that noticeable, seeing as they do glitch around sometimes, usually almost seemingly vibrating in place with an intense aura, so twitching this way and that isn't particularly seen as anything out of the ordinary. they're unfortunately so used to it that, while, it does hurt, they've grown semi-numb to the sensations. there is another thing, though. since Damien and Celine are still sentient in their head, though they mix once they rise to the surface, and the Entity's mushed in there somewhere, too - it's not uncommon for Dark to have migraines, or become easily sensitive to light at times. it is exactly for this reason that their office is usually always cast in dim lighting, from multiple smaller sources instead of a big, overhead light. it's easier to dim the room by small increments that way.

> so, if you're someone who also has their own fair share of chronic aches, pains, or general nuisances involving an illness - trust that Dark knows what it's like. on a very base, painful level

>t hey'll usually check up on you, though not particularly out of concern - mainly just as a part of a checklist they keep for themselves, too. did you take your meds? how much energy do you think you have today? are you feeling faint? did you make sure you got your compressive socks/elastic bandages/glasses/cane/whatever other aids you need? do you need a refill on anything? they can order it online for you, don't be shy. you need something stronger, you think? or is what you're using okay for now?

> it's more like a business deal than anything else. that kind of comfortable conversation you've gotten used to, spoken in the same tone as when you're discussing the weather. after all, it is something that is meant to keep you going, so, there's not much they can worry about except the fact that you've done it. and if you haven't? you'll need to do it. right as they tell you. no excuses. if you don't, Dark knows you'll forget. (and if you do forget, they'll remember to remind you. no, don't swallow those - you already head your pills today, don't you remember?) once you've done it? good, now they can get to work. just as long as they know you're okay. and if you ask them about their own things? Dark basically recites it by command, as if giving a report. yes, the thermal neck support you got them that goes under their clothes is working great, thank you. it does look a bit weird, but- it's fine. anything for their health, really, you did so good with researching that for them. oh, and the pills - well, they don't really work with their anatomy, being - not human and all, but, the temperature based stuff is working amazing. thank you, darling.

> they usually don't really like to spoil you much (or well, more than they already do) - they're practical, and while a gift here and there surely is in order (given that they've literally told you they'd give you anything you want-), just to remind you how special you are, as soon as you mention medical equipment? even if it's just a slight upgrade from what you already have? done deal. not even a question. it's better? ordered. you need anything else, teacup? maybe a new deep heat cream or another batch of painkillers? no? alright, well, you'll tell them if you need any, won't you?

> massages are obligatory. both for them and for you. Dark just adores when you inevitably show up in their office, and suddenly there are hands on their back, massaging that sore spot that's been bothering them for hours. oh, yes- right- there. how are your hands, like, the best thing they've ever felt? are you magical or something? and they love to do it to you too- not necessarily sneaking up, but even just pressing down on spots that need to be compressed, or applying heat/cooling packs to your sore parts that feel so much better with them, when you're just sitting around their office as an added bonus to destressing you. their hands aren't rough, but they've seen some use - and it's that perfect medium between gentle and firm that makes you melt. (you genuinely are that one couple that everyone looks at weirdly because, what do you mean it's your anniversary and you got each other- medical equipment? and like, special-grade aids to help you- are those elastic bandages? why are you jumping up and down with joy for that?? but it's true. you do a lot of research to help each other out.)

> you need to take a day off? not to worry. Dark'll pick up your slack for you, even if it is for multiple days. you need to call someone to tell them why you're off? they'll do it for you. or, well, maybe it's best if you or them wrote an email. just so the whole, eldritch entity thing doesn't seep through the phone. yeah, that's probably for the best. but otherwise, if anyone tries to even imply that you're lazy, or that you're slacking off - immediately enraged. Dark's partner can do whatever the hell they want, and even if it is another ego saying so - no. they've lost their privileges of talking to you until they apologise, and you accept their apology. bastards. Dark is extremely sensitive about this sort of thing because, well, they've had to deal with it too- and you don't need someone telling you you're lazy when you yourself are already halfway thinking about it. it just presses it in further, just makes the wound deeper and more saturated with anguish. you don't need that. and even if you were slacking off - what is their business with it? you're. Dark's. partner. and if you're anything, then you're correct the majority of the time - even during the times that you're not. you're allowed to slack off when you need to. don't worry, they've got you. (and you have them, in return. this is especially where the power couple strategy comes in - you're both the guard dog and the patient being guarded, and you eagerly slip into each role. if you're both inapacitated? well, your bedroom is soundproofed for a reason. and the knocks can be ignored until you feel better.)

> the best part of both of your days, secretly - is when you get to complain to each other. it's such an old people thing, such a logically pointless, self-indulgent thing, but it makes you cackle, and them smirk in genuine amusement. complaining for the sake of complaining, considering neither of your states are ever meant to be something that can be resolved - is both extremely liberating and something that's just yours. you'll sit down, a cup of tea or coffee, or some other beverage of choice, out on the balcony at sunset, and just groan and whine about what you had to deal with during the day. maybe you'll come into their office in the middle of the night, or during the day - a small haven, a reprieve of the harsh sunlight outside. you'll basically launch yourself at their couch, no matter how many times Dark tells you you'll break the damn thing if you keep doing it, and rant over and over in circles about how annoying or painful the whole thing is, while they nod silently in the background. they know your pain, and while complaining doesn't help on a physical level? it heals something on a spiritual one, helps you know there's someone else out there for you, too. someone who understands. plus, as you say, it's good practice for whenever you inevitably develop even worse illnesses with age, or your conditions worsen. this is the least of Dark's problems, listening to you. (like they're not doing the same. suprisingly, Dark can be quite whiny when they really want to be - though it took some time before they actually felt comfortable with you hearing them be like that.)

> one thing Dark will never agree to, though - sunglasses. absolutely hates the things, even if they do make their sensitivity to light lessen, even if they help. it's not necessarily an eyesight issue, just- blocking out the light. they'd rather be stuck in a dark room for the entire day than be forced to wear those hideous things (hideous on them, they mean. if you prefer rocking sunglasses - hey, good for you! Dark would rather pass up that one, though. respectfully.). and even if you suggested them wearing photosensitive glasses for a while - well, they just hindered their sight, too annoying of an extra appendage, or so they say. (you have a sneaking suspicion they just accepted to appease you, and would throw them out anyways. well. at least it gives you an excuse to say 'Told you so.' in crucial moments, especially when Dark's teasing you about not taking a break when you really should.)