🤑

Another bitter sweet dream visit from you and as much as I enjoy them it always makes me wonder what if… what if ppl never got in the way of us. What would have been if we gave each other an actual chance. Before the betrayal before everything got ugly. I just remember going to Naya walking into gym class and there you were, tall light skinned curly haired big lips. Didn’t talk at school but I got home to a Facebook request and we talked for hours. I mean sent books to each other. Talked about everything. The way our minds connected instantly was so beautiful. But then your sister and mine got in the way and I never understood how you could betray me the way you did. Like ultimate betrayal and the fact that we were both Taurus you should’ve have known I would never forgive you for what you did. Even after the fact like connection was always there but I wasn’t able to forgive. I tried but I always had that thought of you two together especially because it was done right in my face. Like the nerve you had had me gagged. I just felt like we coulda been something real, or maybe I was hopeful. The many times we saw each other throughout the years and it was like nothing ever changed just two good friends because before anything we were that. And every time it was amazing nothing but laughs and a great time. I’ll never forget the time we went into the house that was being built by the bus stop and we spend hours just talking, laughing holding each other close. Kissing but never got further than that. We always had a great time. God knew it woulda been over if we ever took it further.. haha and when I saw ol girl at my job and she told me how you would talk about me to her, told her I was your first love… or that time you gave me a place to stay when I really needed it after a night of being with my abusive as bd. And without hesitation you did just that. Even after years of us not talking. You came and got me for the Lloyd max stop and snuck me into your house. Held me that whole night keeping me warm and it was one of the best sleep I had in a while. Waking up talking a long bus ride back to my side of town and we kissed while waiting for the bus as it rained.. and going back to my bd right after, and then running into you days later I knew you was disappointed because your look told me just that and so was I. Your death so was unexpected and I still wish it could have been different between us but it all happened the way it needed to be I guess. I just hope you’re looking down on me proud. In my dreams we still hold the same connection and friendship, but it always ends ugly because even in my dreams we can never be, so I just gotta believe we weren’t meant to me.. a love that couldn’t be. I miss you for sure wish you was still here trolling talking shit. Calling me nance even tho I hated it. I miss it now. I hope you’re at peace resting with your mom..

The thing about dreams is sometimes they feel so real. I couldn’t tell in the moment if it was real or not, all I know is that feeling you again felt real. Being able to melt into your arms felt like he was really here, Or I was there.. either way I appreciate you visiting me in my dreams. I miss you. Come back again soon.