𓊝

——Nica’s POV——

[BLACK]

Seeing you profess your love for the “true” me, I couldn’t help but think you were honest to the point of foolishness— but I felt just as drawn.

[DILAPIDATED BUILDING - DOUBLE DOORED CLOSET]

It wasn’t like this was my first time getting hit or wounded.

It was just as I continued to deceive people, I gradually came to learn to keep an appropriate distance to some extent.

Running away first before they attack, pulling away before the relationship gets serious...

I would see what would come, and I learned to stay evasive and avoid them.

So the idea of me choosing to get hit and hurt like this on purpose was preposterous.

(It would’ve been fine if getting wounded had its worth, but getting beat to a pulp like this is a whole different story.)

Or so I thought, but I had ended up choosing to get hit by Monica and the others—

And the fault lied with her, who held me in her arms as she held back her tears.

(Yeah...it’s because of Kate I ended up considering facing other’s grudges head-on.)

My vision was hazy as I leaned my body into her, bearing the pain.

(To think, too, I never had to pay the price for deceiving people before.)

When I saw the scars on Monica’s arms, it finally hit me who she was.

(It’s the girl who first took on an experiment that was meant to be done on Ring.)

Kate said that I would end up getting stabbed by someone I’ve played with.

When she said that to me, at the time I thought, “There’s no problem because I’ve been able to evade their grudges up until now. And wouldn’t it be too late then anyway?”

Yes, that was what I thought...

(But, the blame lies with me alone.)

If I was even one step late, blood would not stop flowing from Kate’s neck,

and Ring, too, would probably not make it out unscathed again.

(I was the one who brought them into this mess.)

Her neck, which didn’t have a single wound before, now bore the mark of fingers that strangled her, prominent enough to see their shape, along with a slash wound.

(...What the hell am I doing?)

As long as Ring was alright, that’s all that should’ve mattered, and yet I couldn’t help but feel relieved from the bottom of my heart at how she was alive in my arms.

(Please, I’m begging you, don’t step any further into my life.)

I wasn’t ready to take in another one I held dear.

(Ring alone keeps my hands full.)

And yet, here you were, hitting me with your blindingly honest nature without an iota of awareness for what I was feeling.

Kate: I like you. The true you.

Nobody had ever realized it before, but she saw right through my emotions.

Kate: ...You mean even though you went off about how you’d become the world’s happiest man, all while looking anything but happy?

(Ahh...this woman’s a load of trouble.)

My consciousness having reached its limit, I wasn’t really sure what I was saying at this point.

Nica: ...To become the world’s happiest man, I need more money, more power.

That’s why, I may have failed to realize then—

Nica: Because then, I can bring in the people I care about...

Nica: I can...bring Ring into my happy fate too...so...

[BLACK]

—how I had gained another person who was dear to me.

[EYES OPENING → CROWN CASTLE - LOUNGE]

(So bright...)

Though I was annoyed at the light filtering in through my eyelids, I opened my eyes...

...to find an unfamiliar ceiling, and my younger brother peering at me.

Ring: —Nica!

Ring looked to be on the verge of tears as he called my name, and in response I lifted myself up and looked around.

But, I couldn’t find her, who had been with me until I lost consciousness.

Nica: Where’s Kate?

Ring: Ah, she...

Nica: What about her wounds? Is she okay?

Ring: W-wait, calm down! She’s doing fine.

Ring: Roger came in a bit ago and called her outside.

Nica: ...I see.

After a moment of relief, my face scrunched from the dull pain in my body.

Ring placed a hand on my back, gently rubbing it.

Nica: ...Are we in Crown Castle?

Ring: Yeah, we’re in the lounge. After you lost consciousness, we carried you up from the basement and had Roger take a look.

Ring: It seems they wanted to avoid letting you stay for a long time down there, so they set up a bed here.

Nica: Damn, I would’ve loved to fish around for documents there.

I knew that the basement functioned both as Roger Barel’s clinic and a place housing research on the Cursed.

(If only I could’ve nabbed some documents on the Cursed from down there...well, I can keep dreaming.)

Nica: Did you report to Dari?

Ring: Yeah. And the incident during the mission was kept under the wraps from Crown.

Nica: Figured. We can’t exactly tell them, “We were off to kill someone who got in Vogel’s way,” you know.

Ring withdrew his hand from my back with a sad expression.

Ring: …They said they were raised in Haus, just like us, and their lives were ruined by you.

Ring: Just what did you do to them? (·•᷄_•᷅ )

I couldn’t bring myself to say I had made them take on the experiments Ring was originally meant to go through in order to protect him, so I gave a lie off the bat.

Nica: They often said way back when they wanted to see in an experiment if I could use my ability on the other kids.

Nica: It looks like they’ve been through a lot, living a life while in love with me.

Nica: You know, like a love-hate.

I let out a thoughtless laugh: a signal that said not to ask further.

Ring looked like he had something he wanted to say, but ultimately swallowed those words and changed the subject.

Ring: …When I heard they were from Haus, I hesitated to kill them.

Ring: I was spineless, and that caused trouble for you, and it got Kate hurt.

Ring: I’m really sorry, Nica…I know how important she is to you.

Nica: …Who said she was important?

Ring: Huh? (O_O)

Nica: The Spatzi is my toy. A far cry from “important.”

But Ring tilted his head in response, perplexed.

Ring: You had never let anyone other than me or Dari close, so I thought that was the case.

Ring: Was I wrong?

Nica: Yeah, wrong as can be. She’s just a toy I’m playing with while we’re staying in this country.

Nica: And I was worried about her just now because I was the one who got her involved. That’s all there is to it.

Ring: Oh…

Ring seemed to be thinking about something, and I let out a small sigh so that he wouldn’t notice.

That’s right, she wasn’t “important” or anything of the sort.

(I really can’t afford to gain more things important to me.)

Because, if I did—

[BLACK]

She could never become happy.

t. b. c ⸝⸝

masterlist 🍒 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

[DILAPIDATED BUILDING - DOUBLE DOORED CLOSET]

Nica, his complexion pale, had collapsed onto me from losing consciousness.

Kate: Nica, Nica— wake up...!

But no matter how much I called his name, he showed no signs of waking.

(I’ve got to take him to a doctor, and quickly...!)

But I couldn’t pull up his body with my own strength.

And even when I tried to go to call for help, I couldn’t move due to Nica’s hand tightly grasping my backside, despite having lost consciousness.

(Oh, no, what should I do? At this rate Nica will—)

A sudden and intense bout of uncertainty and panic bubbled up, when I heard a creaking sound coming from the corridor.

The sound gradually approached, and I realized with a start they were the sound of footsteps.

(The police? Or did Monica have others working with her?)

If police showed up here, we would without a doubt be arrested as suspects of murder.

And if Monica’s accomplices showed up, we would for sure be killed.

Either way, it wouldn’t spell out anything good, and at a loss for what to do, I hugged him tightly.

When I did, I caught sight of Nica’s pistol, lying on the floor.

(If an enemy comes in here, I’ve got to protect Nica.)

Steeling my resolve, I reached my hand out toward it.

I had never once shot a gun before.

So, even if I had a gun at my disposal, I probably would not be able to hit a target.

(But I can’t say that.)

I grabbed onto it still, even if just to resist, before taking aim toward the corridor beyond the door some ways away.

My hands were trembling.

(Please, I’m begging, let this be someone who can help...!)

I held him with one arm while gripping the pistol.

The footsteps resounded from just outside, and just when I could no longer breathe from the anxiety—

Ring: Nica, Kate, are you guys there—?

The one who came in was Ring, his forehead beaded with sweat.

Kate: Ring, Nica, he’s...!

Though struck with relief, blood drained from Ring’s face upon noticing Nica’s current state.

Ring: Nica...!

Ring called out his name, looking on the verge of tears, and tried to shake Nica’s shoulders, but I stopped him in a panic.

Kate: He said he felt dizzy before he lost consciousness, so don’t move his head!

Ring came to then, and I realized at the same time Nica’s hand that had been grasping my backside had loosened.

Kate: We’ve got to take him to a doctor, and quickly!

Ring: O-okay!

[BLACK]

Ring carried Nica with me by his side to keep his head still as we ran out.

[CROWN CASTLE - BASEMENT LABORATORY]

Kate: Please help, Roger!

[BLACK]

By the time we made it to the basement, it was already past midnight.

[CROWN CASTLE - LOUNGE - NIGHT]

Nica, who had received treatment, was now soundly sleeping atop white sheets.

He still looked slightly pale, but nonetheless compared to when he had first collapsed, he looked much better.

Kate: ...

A bed had been placed in the lounge.

I sat beside him, stroking his left hand, when Ring walked up to me.

Ring: I reported everything to Dari.

Kate: Welcome back. Thanks for making the report.

Ring: Sure...

——Flashback——

[CROWN CASTLE - BASEMENT LABORATORY]

Two hours prior, when Roger saw us storm in the basement, he immediately got a read on the situation and started treatment.

It turned out he had lost consciousness due to a mild concussion from having been hit.

Aside from that, there were wounds that seemed painful, but fortunately there were no life-threatening wounds.

(Roger praised me for having kept his head steady...)

[BLACK]

Even if he acknowledged I had made the right judgment, I couldn’t bring myself to feel happy about it.

[CROWN CASTLE - LOUNGE - NIGHT]

The basement held a lot of documents concerning the Cursed ones, so reasonably so, they couldn’t let Nica stay there long.

As an emergency they set up a bed in the lounge to let him sleep there.

Ring, who seemed unable to maintain his composure, paced back and forth around the room,

and Roger, having noticed this, told Ring to tell Darius about Nica’s situation, to give him something else to do.

——End flashback——

[CROWN CASTLE - LOUNGE - NIGHT]

Ring: ...I didn’t know Crown Castle had a room like this.

Looking at him now, it seemed that task had worked its magic, as he had regained his composure,

and he looked around the lounge in curiosity.

(Come to think of it, Vogel can’t enter Crown Castle without permission, right?)

I had forgotten about that when we stormed in, but Crown Castle forbade entry to all aside from personnel.

And Vogel was no exception: as long as they did not have permission, they couldn’t enter these premises.

Perhaps because he was in an unfamiliar place, Ring looked at many things here with a deep interest.

But when his gaze returned to Nica, his face scrunched in pain as he murmured.

Ring: ...It’s not like this is the first time I’ve seen Nica get hurt.

Ring: I’ve seen it happen so much long ago, I hated it...and even after joining Vogel, it happened over and over.

When he said “long ago”, he was likely referring to his time at Haus.

Ring: I didn’t want Nica to get hurt, though, so I picked up a sword. I hoped it would help Nica, even just a little bit...and yet...

I couldn’t say anything in return.

(While Nica continued to protect Ring, Ring had resolved himself to become stronger to support Nica.)

They had both done what they could to protect each other, who they considered their one and only family.

One could probably say this was a beautiful brotherly love. Perhaps that would be true.

(But...somehow I feel like they’re clashing in a way...or is it just me?)

It was like they both cared deeply for each other, but there was still some friction as well, or maybe conflict.

But I had no proof, even if I felt that way, so I swallowed my words and turned my gaze back.

(He’s still not waking up...)

I gently pushed the bangs covering his eyes out of the way, staring at his clear-cut features as he slept, when the door to the lounge opened.

Roger: Still not up?

Kate: Yes...wait, Victor, you’re here too?

Victor: Hello hellooo, you two have really been through it. Are you guys hurt anywhere?

Victor gave a cheerful wave before approaching me.

Victor: Darius filled me in. He said this was the work of humans who held a personal grudge against Nica and whatnot.

(He’s...not really wrong, but...)

I glanced at Ring, and he gave a slight nod in response.

It seemed that somehow the things that happened right in the middle of the mission had been covered up.

Victor: Ahh, and you guys are not going to be suspected of anything, so you can relax.

Roger: We heard the police concluded it was from a squabble of jealousy.

I remembered the rumors surrounding Nica at the pub then.

(I see, so that’s how the public perceived it.)

Feeling something I couldn’t put into words, I averted my gaze.

[DILAPIDATED BUILDING - CORRIDOR - MONOCHROME]

The three had been shot by Nica’s gun, but because we took his gun with us, it wasn’t left at the scene.

But, whether out of good or bad luck, they had found a different gun in the room,

and that was how the police came to that conclusion.

Blood was pooling out from Monica’s temple; there was no doubt she had been shot in the head.

[CROWN CASTLE - LOUNGE - NIGHT]

(But...)

Thinking about her corpse, the location of the gun laying on the ground, and the angle, it was hard to think Nica shot her himself.

(Maybe she chose death herself.)

The few hours of fun memories ran through my head, and I pursed my lips tight.

The way she talked so animatedly wasn’t so different from myself, so she seemed like another normal woman...

(But in reality, she held a deep-seated hatred for Nica.)

The wounds from when she was young had festered in her heart, never to heal, as she continued to hate and fueled herself with revenge.

So, if it really was a suicide, that would be too sad.

Seeing me like this, Victor and Roger exchanged a look.

Roger: There’s something we wanna talk to you about.

[BLACK]

After that, they took me out of the lounge.

[CROWN CASTLE - BASEMENT LABORATORY]

Kate: What did you want to talk about?

I left Nica in Ring’s care, and faced the two of them with a serious expression.

Roger took a document from the shelf before pushing them to me.

Kate: This is...

Roger: A document summarizing the case with Haus, the facility those two were raised in.

Kate: Wha...

Roger: That said, it’s nothing official. It’s just something I did some digging on, with the help of Victor’s connections.

“Haus’ Goal” and “Unjust Human Experimentation”, among others, were written on the table of contents.

Roger: A long time ago, I went to Germany, attending my father’s business. That’s when I visited Haus.

Roger: Now I was young at the time, so I didn’t get a full grasp on what was happening, but there was no doubt the experiments there were inhumane.

I ran my eyes through one page at a time. And then, my hands stopped when I saw a certain word.

Roger, having noticed, pointed at that word and continued.

Roger: A lot of human experiments went down in Haus, but what’s most of note is this here.

Roger: —“Experiments to birth the Cursed”.

Kate: To...birth the Cursed...!

Victor: ...Have you figured it out now?

The moment I realized, I felt blood drain from my entire body as my vision blurred.

The place those two were born and raised in, the repeated experimentation, and special twins.

I wasn’t so dull as to not know what these implied.

Kate: ...So Nica and Ring were children born from these experiments, I take it.

Roger nodded slowly.

Roger: And that would probably make Monica...a child who couldn’t become Cursed.

Roger: I mean, you probably got an idea, from having seen them in person, too.

I placed my hand on my neck, which was wrapped in bandages.

(They had enough strength to leave a mark, and speed to reach the end of the corridor in a matter of seconds.)

That harsh sword fight that had made Ring struggle seemed to be beyond a normal human’s capabilities.

Roger: Apparently, they tried to use unnatural means to make Cursed people so they could increase their numbers.

Roger: In reality, it seemed the experiments that took place would make the body stronger.

Roger: Also, Haus never gave their subjects names. They were managed using numbers.

(Oh, now I see.)

My sense of unease gradually loosened.

Monica and the others who were subjects of experiments that tried to artificially make Cursed ones,

and the reason she had said Nica and Ring were special was because they weren’t able to become Cursed.

And the fact that when I had asked Nica about Monica’s name, he couldn’t remember her...

(...was because at Haus, they were managed by numbers.)

────────୨ৎ────────

[1] I can’t believe how cruel this is.

[2] What of the other subjects...

[3] ...That facility’s the worst. (+4/+4)

────────୨ৎ────────

Kate: ...That facility’s the worst.

Roger: Yeah, they were full of greed and killed people relentlessly. There’s absolutely no facility worse than that.

Victor: And that was something the country oversaw in secret...so these experiments were done on the basis of mutual consent.

Roger: Fortunately, though, Haus had been destroyed a long while ago.

Roger: I heard it’s basically just ruins now.

Though I felt a bit of relief, Roger’s expression turned grim as he opened his mouth.

Roger: And now, this is where the main issue is.

Kate: Huh?

Roger took the document from my hands before returning it to the shelf.

Victor: Nica and Ring are twins, and they bear the same Curse. This, you know about them, yes?

Kate: Right, but the effects are different...

(And also the things they need to do to activate their ability is also diffe— wait, what?)

The moment I realized something was off, Victor opened his mouth.

Victor: They bear the same Curse, and yet their abilities are different. Twins they may be, but I have never heard of such a phenomenon before.

Victor: Now, I can’t fully deny that this may be a new Curse we don’t yet know of, but that wouldn’t change the fact that only one person can bear one Curse.

(The Cursed ones I’ve met up until now each had their own Curse.)

Victor: So, this doesn’t go beyond speculation. But...

(If that’s the case, then what does that make him—?)

Victor: Nica and Ring bear two separate Curses.

[OUTDOORS CORRIDOR - MORNING]

I walked down the corridor, which had started to become light, like I was wandering about.

I had been rendered speechless from the shock that Victor’s words hit me with,

and out of consideration, the two had said, “We’ll let you know as soon as Nica wakes up, so go rest for now.”

So now, I was walking down the path to my room, but my mind was somewhere else.

(How did I not realize it until now?)

I should have realized with a little bit of thought that something was off at least,

and yet I hadn’t felt the slightest bit of unease, perhaps because Nica was just that good at talking.

(...Could him wanting to bring Ring in also be connected to that?)

I didn’t know what Nica meant at the time when he had said he wanted to bring his brother into his happy fate.

But realizing that this may be the key to unraveling everything, I stopped in my tracks.

When I did, I saw Darius appear before me—

Darius: Ah, look, it’s miss fairytale keeper. You’re going back now?

Kate: ...Yes.

Honey-colored eyes bore into me, and unable to take it anymore, I turned away.

But still Darius peeked through my face...

Darius: So you learned about Haus and found out about Nica and Ring’s pasts, I take it?

Kate: ! How did...

Darius: I was just trying to fish out the truth, but it looks like I hit the bull’s eye, didn’t I. (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

Darius had a full smile on his face.

Darius: And from the looks of it, you also realized Nica and Ring do not have the same Curse.

Unable to say anything, I closed my mouth. But the silence was enough of an affirmation.

Darius: That Nica, isn’t he just so interesting? You know, with how he’ll drag his little brother into his own fate and whatnot.

Darius: Even though there likely isn’t another Cursed one up until now who could do such a thing, too.

Seeing Darius laugh in amusement, I felt displeasure as I questioned him.

Kate: Why are you laughing...

At that moment, a white bird flew between us.

A few soft feathers fell, fluttering through the air.

Darius gave a faint smile.

Darius: Nica’s actual Curse is that of the White Swan.

Darius: And he bears the fate that, in the end, he is the only one who will find happiness.

[BLACK]

A single feather then fell onto the muddy earth.

t. b. c ⸝⸝

masterlist 🍒 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

[DILAPIDATED BUILDING - DOUBLE DOORED CLOSET]

The closet was narrow, the room bloodied. Corpses littered the ground, and the moonlight shone brightly.

Nica, who was in my arms, was the only one who exuded warmth as he let out a listless laugh.

Noticing that my arms were wrapped around his back, he hugged me back as though holding me in his arms.

Kate: I’m so glad you’re alright...

Nica: ...Back at you. By the way, what of Ring?

Kate: The residents who had heard the commotion had contacted the authorities, so Ring is handling things over there...

Nica: So he likely went out there to lead them out because you came running back here.

Kate: You could say that.

Nica: Pfft, that’s a no-go there, Spatzi. My little brother’s painfully bad at this sort of thing...gh—

Kate: Are you okay!?

He let out a pained groan, to which I pulled out a handkerchief in a panic and dabbed his bloodstained lips.

(What terrible wounds...and his body must’ve sustained them too, just that I can’t see them...)

His cheeks were swollen, bruises congested, and clothes disheveled.

While I bit my lip at the heartbreaking sight, he rested his chin on my shoulder.

Nica: Ahh...did I get hit too much? I’m feeling dizzy.

His arms around me tightened, and he pulled me in toward him.

Nica: …You can laugh and call me a fool. And it’s okay to blame me too.

I sniffled, holding in the tears on the verge of bursting as I weaved my words.

Kate: I think the things you’ve done are unforgivable.

Kate: But I could never blame you for using what little ways you had to protect Ring.

“Why did you get hit?” I didn’t have to ask that to get an idea.

Kate: Perhaps there may have been better ways than deceiving, playing with others’ feelings, and taking on grudges.

Kate: But I was never there at that time. So I could never blame you for that.

Nica, in his own Nica way, accepted their grudges.

After so much deception, it all came back. And taking that upon himself may have been an attempt at atonement.

Nica: Yeah, like you said, the grudges from playing people came right back.

Nica: But I won’t stop. I can’t stop, no matter what.

I thought Nica was the worst for playing with other people’s feelings.

I said that it would all come back against him.

(But that doesn’t mean I want to see Nica get hurt.)

After all, now that I was before that very scene, it felt so painful and awful, I could hardly bear it.

Nica slowly reached out toward my neck, a pained expression on his face.

Nica: Your neck must hurt...there’s still a mark.

Nica: Well, if I had gotten here earlier, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.

He gently ran his fingers along the mark on my neck, left from the knife and strangling, and in response a teardrop ran down my cheek.

Kate: Y-you seem...in a much worse shape... *hic*

He let out a wry smile at my tears, falling one after another, as he planted a kiss on the corner of my eye.

Nica: Mm, it’s salty.

Kate: What are you—

Nica licked my tears with the tip of his tongue, and in a panic I turned my face away.

But his hand wrapped around the back of my head, and his forehead touched mine.

Nica: You’re so foolish, so darn naïve...you doofus Kate, you.

Nica: Here you are, crying for someone like me. You really are a good-natured fool.

Both of his hands that gently cupped around my cheeks were warm, but his rings emitted a sharp coolness.

Nica: You should be smiling right about now, you know. I happen to like your smiles a lot, Kate.

Kate: Smiling at a time like this would be more strange than anything...

Nica: Then, just smile for me.

His index fingers dragged the corners of my lips upward.

Seeing my forcibly-made smile while tears flowed down caused him to laugh, a troubled look on his face.

Nica: Haha...you look awful.

Kate: I could say the same to you...

He withdrew his fingers before his lips slowly approached mine.

Kate: Mm—

He pressed a kiss, and while I was surprised, I closed my eyes.

Meanwhile, Nica gave me countless feather-like kisses, stealing my lips.

The feeling of our lips together was hot, and from the gap between I could pick up the smell of iron.

Nica: Don’t run on me now.

His face scrunched up in pain as he murmured, once again placing a hand on my cheek.

But, there was no way I could run.

(Ahh, I see now.)

I thought to myself as I looked at him before me, tears flowing down my cheeks.

[WHITE]

(I like Nica, from the bottom of my heart.)

I thought after being played ragged the love that started from a lie would come to a full stop.

And yet, my mind kept turning back to him all the time, and no matter what I had gone through, I found myself wanting to know what lied in his heart.

Though he appeared capable, he was quite clumsy, and he was a person who smiled like a young boy, always thinking of his younger brother.

He claimed people were playthings, and yet when I got hurt, he would make an awfully pained face.

And, in the midst of the fabricated kindness, I had come to receive his true kindness time and time again.

(Perhaps it’s the fake Nica that had sparked those feelings.)

But the part of him I had fallen in love with, the part of him that continued to draw me in...

—was the Nica who was most true to himself.

[DILAPIDATED BUILDING - DOUBLE DOORED CLOSET]

I softly touched his swollen cheeks, meeting his gaze.

Kate: About yesterday, I’m really sorry for stepping into your past on my own.

Kate: Whether it was as fairytale keeper, or just from one human to another, I just really wanted to know more about you, even if I couldn’t understand.

Kate: I felt bad keeping quiet about it, though, so I had talked to you about it. But I had ended up hurting you as a result.

Kate: So, truly, I am sorry.

Nica: ...It’s not really like it was your fault.

I gave him a small smile after hearing his words.

Kate: Nica, there’s something I’ve come to realize.

Nica: Yeah, what is it?

Kate: I like you. The true you.

His eyes widened.

Kate: Perhaps it had first started from being treated kindly and getting deceived.

Kate: But the one I fell for was the one who would at times laugh like a boy on a whim, the one who would have a distant look in his eyes...

Kate: ...And the one who could just leave someone like me by myself, and yet expressed worry for my wounds. That’s the Nica Schwartz I fell in love with.

Nica’s eyes narrowed, looking at my face as though he had seen something dazzling.

Kate: You can call me annoying and a pain in the neck— I wouldn’t be surprised— but I like you, so I want to get to know you more.

Kate: It’s because I like you...that I want to understand you.

Nica: ...I might be playing with your feelings even now, you know.

Nica: What you claim to be the “true” me might also be fabricated.

Kate: ...You mean even though you went off about how you’d become the world’s happiest man, all while looking anything but happy?

Nica looked exasperated at my words as he leaned his body on mine.

Nica: You...really are sharp on the weirdest things...

His hug was so tight it hurt, and I was surprised at his strength, but...

Nica: ...To become the world’s happiest man, I need more money, more power.

Nica talked as though in delirium.

Nica: Because then, I can bring in the people I care about...

Nica: I can...bring Ring into my happy fate too...so...

Kate: Huh?

At that moment, his body crumpled toward me.

Kate: Nica...?

Nica, who had collapsed on my chest, was unconscious, his complexion pale.

Kate: —Nica!!

t. b. c ⸝⸝

masterlist 🍒 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

——Nica’s POV——

[BLACK]

Even now, I could remember that god-awful facility.

[CARRIAGE INTERIOR - EVENING]

Long-bearded businessman: I’m truly glad we could have this chat.

Nica: Pleasure’s mine. Let’s talk again soon too.

I saw off the businessman as he departed the carriage before leaning my back into the sheets.

(I’ve profited pretty well ever since coming to England.)

The man who was here just moments ago was a businessman who bought the building that Baron Dale had been running.

He worked in real estate, so I introduced him to some lessees together with the building.

It was decided we would split the revenue from renting half and half, so there would be a steady stream of money.

Nica: Those fools for nobles, nouveau rich families, sellers with no authenticity...hmm, they probably go bankrupt sooner than later.

Thinking back on the people I introduced, I sneered.

(All of them will be going down the road to bankruptcy with those humans who suck at managing money.)

If people were to be kicked out due to not being able to pay rent, the property’s reputation would also drop.

And when that happened, that businessman would have no choice but to let go of that building for a lower price.

(Then if I’m still in England by then, I can play my cards to rake in more money.)

To take only the sweet nectar, I would scatter the seeds thoroughly.

That had always been my way of doing things, even when I was in Germany.

Nica: Every last one of them are nothing but fools who go crazy in the face of money and power.

I looked out the window while laughing, where my eyes met the sight of the water, which glimmered and sparkled.

(The sea...)

[BLACK]

I sent a signal to the driver to stop before getting out of the carriage.

[BEACH - EVENING]

When I stepped onto the sand, the sea breeze swept my hair.

I narrowed my eyes at the sun setting beneath the horizon, and just standing without thinking of anything brought back memories from the past.

——Flashback——

[HAUS - NICA AND RING’S ROOM]

??? (405, Ring): Nica, I…

??? (404, Nica): It’s okay, it’ll be alright.

??? (404, Nica): We’ll definitely get out of here, to the outside.

??? (404, Nica): I will take you to the other side of the sea—

——End flashback——

(I just had to go and remember that stupid memory...)

I combed through my hair and sighed.

At first glance, the sea reflecting the evening light seemed pretty, but if one were to lick the water, it would taste salty; going in the water, it would feel sticky.

It assaulted ships with its high tides and induced sickness in its passengers, and there were many times people would get caught in storms, never to return to shore.

Such was the nature of the sea— a place that was not just pretty.

Nica: And yet people are still drawn to it.

They end up believing that beyond the horizon lies a scene still undiscovered.

They end up thinking that a treasure lies buried in the deep depths of the sea.

And even now we— I still reach out for the dream I should have thrown away.

Nica: I’m such a fool...

I crouched down where I was and for a while, stared out to the sea. The sparkling surface of the water seemed to resemble something.

(Maybe a jewel?)

All of a sudden, I thought back to Kate on the harbor, staring out at the water.

(...Or maybe the Spatzi.)

The image of her at the harbor, averting her eyes from the water’s surface as she laughed, formed in the back of my mind.

Not the sun, or the moonlight, or jewels or stars...they were all wrong.

To me, the light Kate held was like that of the reflection upon the water’s surface.

Nica: ...What a cheesy thought, me.

I stood up, rolling my head as I returned to the carriage.

(Wait, didn’t my toy go out drinking with a man since morning?)

For some reason, I felt strangely frustrated at how despite being my toy, she went out with another man to drink on her own, without saying a word.

[BLACK]

And so, at the time I thought I’d give her an earful the next time we saw each other.

[CORRIDOR - NIGHT]

But, the words that came out of her mouth— brought back a buried past I didn’t even want to remember.

Kate: She’s someone who grew up in the same facility as you…Haus.

——Flashback——

[HAUS - NICA AND RING’S ROOM]

??? (405, Ring): Urgh, it hurts…so much…

??? (404, Nica): Take in a breath and relax. See, like your big brother.

??? (404, Nica): It’ll be okay, so trust me.

——End flashback——

[CORRIDOR - NIGHT]

Kate: …This might just be my speculation. But—

Kate: Is your obsession with money and power because of that time?

——Flashback——

[HAUS - NICA AND RING’S ROOM]

??? (404, Nica): When we get outta here I’ll get a tooon of money so you can eat lots. ٩( 'ω' )و

??? (405, Ring): Really? (O_O)

??? (404, Nica): Yep, I’ll make sure it happens, so just wait for me.

——End flashback——

[CORRIDOR - NIGHT]

Kate: Because you need it to protect Ring?

——Flashback——

[HAUS - NICA AND RING’S ROOM]

Ring: If I’m with you, Nica, I’m not scared. (^_^)

——End flashback——

[CORRIDOR - NIGHT]

Kate: !?

Before I could think, my foot kicked up to the corridor’s walls.

I looked down at a surprised Kate. And she was staring up at me with fear.

Nica: Did you have fun digging into someone else’s past without permission?

Nica: You go around spouting speculation— did it never occur to you that this is something I don’t want to revisit?

Kate: I-I just—

Nica: What could you possibly understand?

She didn’t know what sort of environment we lived through.

Nica: Fine. I’ve held plenty of people’s secrets myself, now I’m just on the receiving end.

Nica: But why did you go out of your way to tell me? Were you trying to feel sorry?

Nica: Your honesty and inability to lie might be good qualities.

Nica: But to me… they’re unbelievably annoying and irritating.

I couldn’t hide the irritation and displeasure as I once again made it clear I would become the happiest man in the world.

And for that, I didn’t care how many people scorned me, how much they pointed fingers at me.

(Not that this oh so well-to-do lady could understand.)

I turned on my heel, not sparing a glance at Kate.

Nica: ...Scheiße.

t/n — “shit” in german.

I didn’t know if that was directed at her or myself...

[BLACK]

But the water’s surface— so beautiful it was dazzling— still sparkled and glimmered in my mind’s eye.

t. b. c ⸝⸝

masterlist 🍒 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

[ORPHANAGE - LOUNGE - DAY]

Well-dressed orphanage director: Ah…ugh…

Elbert: ……

In the lounge of a certain orphanage, a quite well-to-do orphanage director was on his knees, clutching his head.

Elbert stepped on his shadow with a melancholic expression, while I took out my notebook and a pen.

(I have to record his reason for dabbling in evil.)

Today I was to accompany Lord Elbert on his mission.

Apparently, in a certain orphanage based in London, the children were suffering from famine, even with donations.

I heard that Lord Elbert had gotten that information from an aristocrat acquaintance who leaked it out during a salon.

Thus, the one who made regular donations grew suspicious,

and Crown was ordered to conduct an internal investigation on the matter, which was why Lord Elbert and I went—

(And as it turns out, the donated money had never gone toward the children’s support, instead filling it inside the director’s pockets.)

So the director indulged in all of his personal desires, relishing in its profits, while the children were treated cruelly.

Elbert: …

Elbert stared intently at the orphanage director.

Cast by Elbert’s ability, the director slowly opened his mouth, tears flowing from his eyes as he started to tremble.

Well-dressed orphanage director: I-I want money…I don’t want to go through hunger or pain again…

Well-dressed orphanage director: If only I had money, I wouldn’t have to go through such things.

Well-dressed orphanage director: I could…become happy…

(If only he had money, he could become happy.)

——Flashback——

[PARTY VENUE - GARDEN - NIGHT]

Nica: You see…I’m going to become the world’s happiest man.

Nica: And for that, I’d run any and all the risks— so it all falls to my hands.

——End flashback——

[ORPHANAGE - LOUNGE - DAY]

(Nica said something similar too…)

What I heard back at the garden was, without a doubt, his true feelings.

But for how much he was saying he was happy, his face hardly reflected those words, and seeing that pained me for some reason.

Well-dressed orphanage director: If I don’t get money…I’ll always…

Looking at the director, who could no longer let out any more, I closed my notebook midway through writing.

After all, I don’t think I could ever forget, even if I wanted to.

(When it comes to money…if you can get it, you would want it, and things would be different depending on whether you have power or not too.)

Money could buy a great many things, and standing can reduce the pain.

I knew that already.

But—

(Why is he so obsessed with them?)

[BLACK]

When Nica said he would become the happiest man in the world, I couldn’t understand it at all.

(No matter how much money and power he gains, trust and expectations aren’t things you can buy.)

If he hurt people and played them, what awaited was only his downfall.

The people he betrayed would take their revenge on him, and then everything he gained would slip away.

(Before he becomes the world’s happiest man, I’m sure he’ll end up getting a divine punishment.)

It seemed he was fine with this, having deliberately steeled his resolve, but even so—

(In the near future, someone who holds a grudge against Nica will—)

[ORPHANAGE - LOUNGE]

The worst clouded my imagination, and I shook my head in an attempt to erase them.

Elbert: ...Is something the matter...?

Kate: No, it’s nothing. Sorry.

Worry seemed evident on Lord Elbert’s complexion, and I responded in a panic.

But, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get Nica out of my head, so I asked Lord Elbert a question.

Kate: I was just thinking a bit about something...

Elbert: ?

Kate: If one were to get money and power...to obtain everything in this world—

Kate: At that point, could you say that person is happy, from their heart?

Lord Elbert gave it thought with a serious expression, but some time after his shoulders dipped, seeming troubled.

Elbert: ...Apologies, but I’m not sure I can give an answer...

Seeing him make such an apologetic look, it spread to me as well.

Kate: Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to trouble you so.

Kate: Please forget about it.

I bowed my head, and he murmured—

Elbert: When it comes to desires...there is no end.

Kate: Huh?

Elbert: No matter how much you get your hands on...you end up wanting more and more.

Elbert: But in the beginning...it always starts from something small.

Elbert: ...It’s just that, over time, they can no longer remember what that was...

Kate: So those who want money and power desire such things because they have gone through a troubled past...

Lord Elbert nodded slightly.

Elbert: At least for me, ever since joining Crown, I have seen many such people.

A small hope turns into desire, and it becomes so inflated, that in and of itself turns into their goal.

My thoughts turned back to Nica.

(What sort of past did Nica go through?)

(What has made him want to become the happiest in the world?)

[BLACK]

Up until now, Nica had shown me a made-up version of himself.

He treated me kindly before deceiving me, even using his ability to play my heart, caught under the illusion that I was in love.

As it stood now, I couldn’t say for certain I really liked him.

[WHITE]

(Anyhow he made me run errands for him, and I think he’s the worst, but...)

——Flashback——

[PALACE - KATE’S ROOM - MORNING]

Nica: Pfftt… ahahahahaha!!!

——End flashback——

[WHITE]

The way he saw that I had misunderstood the situation, holding his stomach as he laughed...

——Flashback——

[PALACE - KATE’S ROOM - NIGHT]

Nica: It’s a silly, made-up story someone read about somewhere.

——End flashback——

[WHITE]

...whose profile seemed somewhat lonely when putting me to sleep...

——Flashback——

[PARTY VENUE - GARDEN - NIGHT]

Nica: Hah, did you seriously just headbutt me...God, I can’t with you...

——End flashback——

[WHITE]

...the way he smiled like a young boy, stifling his laughter...

——Flashback——

[PARTY VENUE - GARDEN - NIGHT]

Nica: I am happy. More than you’ll ever know.

——End flashback——

...and that face that didn’t seem the slightest bit happy...

[BLACK]

I couldn’t bring myself to think any of those as made-up.

And every time I saw Nica like that, I end up thinking how I want to know him better.

(What’s this feeling, I wonder?)

[CITY - ALLEYWAY - DAY]

Holding a feeling I couldn’t quite put to words in my heart, I lifted my head to get onto an approaching carriage.

(When I return, I’ll write a report...preferably at Victor’s office, so it doesn’t get stolen by Nica.)

While thinking a way to counter him, I tried to get into the carriage when—

???: Excuse me, Miss.

Kate: Huh?

Someone called out to me, and I turned around.

Standing there was a woman who seemed to be around my age.

???: Sorry for calling out to you so suddenly. You were the one with Nica just now, yes?

Kate: Yes, that’s correct...

That moment, I realized something and put my guard up.

(Did Nica do something to her before, or is he playing her heart now!?)

Such thoughts came from how all his behavior was too evil.

But seeing me with my guard up, the woman let out a troubled laugh as she scratched her cheek.

???: Don’t worry, it’s not what you think it is.

Monica: I’m Monica. It’s just I found my old friend in a different country walking with a wonderful girl, so I couldn’t help but grow curious.

Kate: Old friend?

As I went lax, Monica told me a shocking truth.

Monica: We were raised at the same facility, you see.

Kate: Facility...?

When I expressed surprise at being suddenly told about his past, Monica shot me a questioning look.

Monica: Could it be…you don’t know?

I couldn’t speak as I nodded my head. After making a show of thinking for a bit, she once again opened her mouth.

Monica: If you’re alright with it, how about I tell you what I know of his past? Any time from now works.

Kate: Huh— ah— but…

Elbert: Kate, is everything alright…?

Lord Elbert, who went into the carriage before me, poked his head out.

Seeing that, Monica pulled out a slip of paper from her bag, scribbling something down before handing it to me.

Monica: This is my address. If there’s anything you want to ask, come and stop by.

[BLACK]

Monica left with a wave in my direction, and for a while I simply stood where I was, unable to move.

[CARRIAGE INTERIOR]

(So Nica was raised in a facility…)

Staring down at the slip, I thought of him.

What sort of facility was this? What sort of childhood did he have?

Did he get along with Ring? Such questions swelled my imagination.

(This isn’t good…I’m too curious.)

[BLACK]

Gripping the slip, I lifted my head.

[CITY STREET - DAY]

Roger: And so that’s why you brought me here?

The next day, I came together with Roger to the apartment Monica lived in.

Kate: Thanks for coming with.

Roger: Well, can’t go letting the lil lady walk off on her own, you know.

Ever since my encounter with her, I only grew more and more curious about Nica’s past,

so promising Roger liquor to my name in exchange for coming with me, we went out to the streets of London.

Roger: Even so, it seems like you’re still getting wrapped around that older twin’s pinky, huh.

Roger: Are you trying to grasp his weakness too ‘cause you got sick of that?

────────୨ৎ────────

[1] I just want to know, that’s all.

[2] That’s probably not wrong.

[3] Found me out so soon? (+4/+4)

────────୨ৎ────────

Kate: Found me out so soon?

Roger: Whoa there, that way of speaking was like Nica’s to a tee just now. ( •`ᴖ´• )

Roger: I’m getting worried now...don’t get too deeply involved with him, ‘kay? That’s not a good man to be around.

Roger let out a sigh, turning his gaze to me.

Kate: Is something the matter?

Roger: No...

Roger: You sure got the worst taste in men, huh.

Kate: Wha— what’s that supposed to mean!?

Roger: Who knows.

Letting the topic go with a resigned air, he pointed to the bar across from here.

Roger: I’ll be over there for a drink, but just to make sure I’ll keep my ears open.

Kate: Okay.

[SKY - DAY]

I split ways with Roger before entering the apartment and knocking the door to Monica’s room.

Monica answered with a smile, letting me inside.

Monica: Welcome.

[MONICA’S APARTMENT - COMMON ROOM]

I was led to the shared common space from Monica’s apartment, where I sat down on the sofa.

She came in holding a tray on one hand that carried tea and a snack I hadn’t seen before.

Monica: This is a snack from Germany. I was happy seeing it for the first time in a long time, so I bought it.

Kate: It’s the first time I’ve seen this, I think. Thank you very much.

Monica’s tone seemed happy as she sat down across from me.

Monica: Actually, there’s only three people living in this apartment, including myself.

Monica: We’re all long-time acquaintances, too, so I figured they wouldn’t raise any complaints if we took our time talking here.

(When she says “long-time acquaintances,” does that mean...)

Perhaps picking up on the question forming in my mind, she let out a laugh as she brought her tea to her lips.

Monica: Indeed. We were all raised at that facility. The same one Nica and his younger twin brother were raised in.

From there, Monica talked about the details of coming to England and about the others who lived in the same apartment.

After leaving the facility, she and the two others who lived here were taken in together as adopted children,

and due to circumstances that happened a year ago, they moved to England.

Now, she worked at the bar Roger was currently drinking at while learning England’s culture.

Monica: The other two here are men, so it’s hard to have a fun chat with them...so I was looking forward to talking with you.

Kate: I’m happy to hear.

There was no sign of our chat coming to an end before the presence of tea and foreign snacks, and we broke the ice almost immediately.

After we talked about popular shops and trending fashion, along with our jobs,

I spoke the name of the one who was the reason I came.

Kate: You mentioned you were raised in the same facility as Nica some time before...

Monica’s hand froze where it was.

Monica: I did, didn’t I...he has probably forgotten by now, but I remember it all.

I tilted my head at the way the air grew solemn, seeming to fill the room with a sense of wrath.

But her expression shifted right after, her eyes narrowing in nostalgia.

Monica: It’s quite a harsh story for a normal girl like yourself.

Monica: It was the absolute worst, that place—

Monica: It was a facility that did experiments, known as Haus.

t. b. c ⸝⸝

masterlist 🍒 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

——Neutral POV——

[VICTOR’S OFFICE]

In the office, the Queen’s Aide faced the director of Vogel.

Darius: About that fairytale keeper you guys seem so worried about, it seems she’s doing quite well.

Darius: And I just got the report that when she accompanied Nica to attend a party in my place,

Darius: she fulfilled all the duties asked of her to the fullest. It’s very much appreciated.

Victor: I’m glad to hear.

Darius sat in the chair with his legs crossed, a relaxed expression on his face as he sipped his tea.

Meanwhile, while Victor wore a smile, he continued to keep his guard up.

Victor: It’s been a week now since you came to our country. How’ve you been faring recently?

Darius: Well, I’d say without a hitch.

Darius: There’s more history to be had here than in Germany, making it stable in many ways…

Darius: And ever since Queen Victoria has ascended the throne, businesses are developing and the economy is looking very favorable.

Darius: It seems to me this country is well on its way.

Victor: Thank you for your kind words. To hear them from the director of the organization directly under the German empire is my honor.

Darius shot a glance at Victor, who dipped his head respectfully, before setting his cup on the table.

Darius: That said, though, it does get at me that said Queen is shrouded in mystery.

Darius: It seems you work as her aide, but rumors are floating around that you two are quite close.

Darius: You assist the Queen, at times representing her on special occasions.

Victor: I won’t deny that the Queen and I do share a special relationship, but I can affirm it’s not in the way the rumors make it out to be.

Victor: It’s just that there are times I speak for the Queen by proxy, just as you said.

Victor: And taking that into account, I suppose that would make our relationship close indeed.

Darius turned to face Victor.

Darius: Actually, there’s been something tickling my mind, even before I came here.

Victor: What might that be?

Darius: —Perhaps the Queen doesn’t even exist.

Victor’s expression didn’t falter one bit.

Darius: Pure white heels, attires that hide the shape of her body, high heels.

Darius: I’ve basically never heard her voice before, and not one human’s ever seen what was beneath her veil.

Darius: Can you blame me for holding suspicions when she’s being so thoroughly hidden?

Victor: …Suspicious of what, if I can ask?

The edge of Darius’ lips quirked up.

Darius: First, that the Queen doesn’t exist, and someone has been acting as her.

Darius: And second, that even if she did exist, there would be a reason why she has to keep her face hidden.

Darius: —For example, she was actually Cursed. Or something like that.

Victor’s expression remain unchanged.

Victor: An interesting theory.

Darius: Seeing as she made Crown, I think it wouldn’t be wrong to think she has her own obsession and attachment to the Cursed.

Darius: In which case, she probably had some relation with the Cursed in the past that led to those feelings.

Darius: That, or she herself is Cursed, and that’s why she made Crown…I suspect it’s one of those two.

Victor: You’ve got a lot of possibilities going through your head, I see. Is that because of Vogel, or something of personal interest?

Darius: Both, methinks. I mean, information on the Queen is the one and only thing my very capable advisor is unable to grasp anything on.

Darius: And that has never happened before, so that caught my eye even more.

For a moment, the smile on Darius’ face vanished.

Darius: That said, the idea of the Cursed using their powers to save humans is beyond me.

Victor: …What does that mean?

A tense air sharply spread through the office.

Darius stood up, giving Victor a smile.

Darius: It seems that fairytale keeper’s unexpectedly caught the eye of my family, you see.

Darius: I believe we’ll end up borrowing her from here on out too.

Victor: …Her role as fairytale keeper is temporary. I promised to let her return to her old life afterwards.

Darius: So it seems. And while I honestly couldn’t care less…do you really think she can return at all?

Darius placed his hand on the doorknob, leaving those disquieting words.

Darius: It’s just as possible that she’ll end up knowing too much and become a target instead, wouldn’t you say?

——Kate’s POV——

[CITY SQUARE - DAY]

Nica: You’re so darn slow, Spatzi, what were you doing back there?

(Ugh, this man…!!)

Sitting on a bench situated beneath the tree shadows in the square of Piccadilly, Nica folded his newspaper.

Nica: You’ve got some nerve making me wait for a whole hour.

Kate: What else did you expect with that kind of line…!

I had come running while holding the paper bag, so I had to catch my breath as I shot him a glare.

In light of how he held my weaknesses in his hands, I had ended up becoming Nica’s “errand runner.”

——Flashback——

[PALACE CORRIDOR - NIGHT]

Like how one time, he wanted me to relay a message that had me running all around the palace…

Nica: You make sure to tell Dari we somehow took care of the mission in question.

Kate: Umm, but where is Darius…

Nica: Who knows? Probably around here somewhere. Good luck searching.

Nica: Oh, and if you don’t tell him by dawn, I’ll be spilling you-know-what.

——End flashback——

——Flashback——

[WHITE]

Or how, another time, he made me write responses to love letters addressed to him…

[KATE’S ROOM]

Nica: Write “You and I were not meant to be” back to them.

Kate: There isn’t anything worse than belittling the writers’ feelings by making me write responses for you!

Nica: Kaaate.

Kate: I cannot simply nod my head as a fellow woman. At the very least write the responses yourself—

Nica: I’ll go tell Crown about you-know-what then. About how you got your tail stuck between your legs.

Kate: Ahh, whatever should I do, I just can’t help but want to write letters in your stead now!

Nica: Then have fun with those thirty letters.

Kate: Thirty!?

——End flashback——

——Flashback——

[WHITE]

And now today, we had gone to a newly opened café to buy their sandwiches, but—

[CAFÉ INTERIOR]

Nica: Whoa, what’s with this line? (O_O)

Kate: It just opened, so it can’t be helped that the line’s so long.

Nica: Nah, I’m not lining up. I’ll go wait over there, so you go buy them and come over.

Kate: What did you say? Wh— hey, Nica!?

——End flashback——

[CITY SQUARE]

(The more I think back on it, the more it frustrates me…)

The sandwiches I had waited an hour in line to buy were snatched by Nica.

Nica: It’s not like you can do anything major, so the least you can do is get errands done like this.

Kate: And getting done I have. I bought the sandwiches, just as you said.

Kate: In the first place, using my weakness to get me to listen to you is the wor—

Nica: I’m gonna tell Crown about—

Kate: —is so not the worst, yes! These sandwiches look delicious, huh. Which one do you want, Nica?

I turned around sharply, sitting down next to him.

I took out the sandwiches and lined them up, and Nica stared right at me.

Nica: You can choose first.

Kate: What.

Nica: You waited a whole hour in line, didn’t you? It’s your reward.

I had my doubts, but nonetheless I reached out for the sandwich I wanted.

But before I could grab it, it was snatched from beside me—

Nica: I’ll go with this one.

(He took it…!)

I could only stiffen up from shock at having the sandwich I wanted snatched before me.

And maybe because Nica found that expression interesting, he started to giggle.

Nica: Pfft, you look like the world’s about to end…I can’t—

He clutched his stomach, holding in his laughter and seeming to find so much enjoyment from this…

(It’s different from his usual smiles.)

I couldn’t take my eyes away from that smile, which seemed different from his usual ones— more true to himself.

After laughing for a while and wiping the corners of his eyes, he placed the sandwich in my hand.

Nica: Here you go. You wanted to eat this from the start, didn’t you?

Nica: You showed me something interesting, so I can give it.

I started eating the sandwich I had my eye on next to Nica.

I could feel the corner of my lips go up at the delicious flavor that spread the moment I put it in my mouth.

(It was worth that hour-long wait…)

The sandwich was delicious, and the city scene beautiful.

It was a shame the sky was overcast, but the sandwich’s flavor balanced it out.

Unlike myself who was eating with a smile, Nica looked my way, without reaching for any of the sandwiches.

Nica: What an easygoing face. I’m impressed you can even make it.

Kate: Huh?

Nica: If you think about the situation you’re in, how could you normally make an expression like that?

Nica, looking fed up, continued.

Nica: How you saw a killing by accident, and starting this life of surveillance…

Nica: Trying your hardest not to get killed, then getting deceived by me…

Nica: And here I thought you would be shaking in your boots not knowing when you could get told off by Crown.

Nica: It’s just sorta different from how I imagined it.

In response to his disinterested look, I placed my hands on my knees and opened my mouth.

────────୨ৎ────────

[1] I am scared. (+4/+4)

[2] I’ve accepted it, I guess.

[3] I try not to think about it.

────────୨ৎ────────

Kate: I am scared. But I can’t do anything about it, so…

Nica: You’re pretty bold, aren’t you. What a weird woman.

Nica: Well, I guess that’s the least you should be, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to live in this den of villains.

I turned to the square’s scenery before continuing.

Kate: To be honest, I’ve always been scared. That has never changed.

The sight of London’s peace reflected in my eyes.

But I witnessed the moment that crumbled down, that peaceful world stained in red.

Perhaps, I could never again return to the world from before I knew.

Kate: Even if they treat me kindly, even if I gain their trust, the moment I make one wrong move…

That most terrible fate awaiting me after breaking my promise— was only one thing.

Kate: If you were to speak on that incident, Nica, I think I really will be killed.

Kate: …But, I also feel that I should honestly tell them, too.

Kate: Even if I have to take death, what I had done was evil, beyond a shadow of doubt.

I wanted to be of use to Crown. Even if it was just during the time I worked as Vogel’s fairytale keeper, I wanted to fulfill my duty to the fullest.

But in reality, it was because that fear I would be killed was there at my core that I was deceived by Nica’s words.

I was taken advantage of, led on by sweet temptations, and I became his toy— all of it because I was weak as well.

(But it isn’t as though I can change what has already happened.)

I stood up, turning around to face him.

Kate: The past cannot be changed. But while I’m living I should face the happiness before my eyes, or I won’t be able to move on.

Nica: … (O_O)

Nica’s eyes widened so much, it was a wonder they haven’t fallen from their sockets.

Kate: Let’s take this sandwich. It was the last one they had!

Kate: Wouldn’t it be rude to not partake in such a lucky thing? So that’s why I had my eye on it now.

Kate: Because, that’s what I thought I should do.

I could have holed up in my room out of fear of Nica’s words.

But if I did, I wouldn’t be able to take back the time that had already passed, no matter how much I regretted it.

(And if that’s the case, I can only live to the fullest, and change the future by my own actions.)

I had no other choice but to find the solution to this problem on my own.

(That said, I’m still not really sure what I can do…)

Nica: … (´･_･`)

He said nothing in return.

But the way he narrowed his eyes as though he was looking at something dazzling before turning away stood out to me…

And when I blinked, I saw two children staring at us from the alleyway.

(Ah…)

The children wore dirtied clothes, and their bodies were shabby as they looked with longing at the sandwiches.

I hadn’t bitten into my sandwich, so I walked up to the two presumably poor children to offer it.

Nica: Spatzi, where are you— (O_O)

[ALLEYWAY]

Kate: Here, take this if you’d like.

I crouched down before them, holding out the sandwich.

Poor-looking little girl: Is it really okay?

Kate: I’m full already, so…I was looking for someone who could eat it for me.

—which was a complete lie, but the children took no notice.

Dirtied little boy: We hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday…

Poor-looking little girl: Thanks, Miss…!

I saw off the two children happily running with the sandwich in their hands before standing up.

Nica: …You’ve finally got this good luck, and now you’re letting it go? What are you, an idiot?

When I turned around, I spotted Nica, an exasperated look on his face as he leaned against the wall.

Kate: It’s exactly because I got that good luck that I figured I should share it.

Kate: I felt lucky having been able to buy that last sandwich, so I wanted to hand over that luck to those children this time around.

Kate: So no, Nica, I’m not letting good luck go. I’m spreading it.

I puffed out my chest, but the next moment my stomach growled,

and when I looked away in embarrassment, Nica laughed with a fed-up look.

Nica: You fool, you.

Nica split his sandwich in half, placing one in my hand before he turned his back to me and walked off.

Kate: Wha— t-thank you.

I followed him in a panic, and Nica, who once again sat down on the bench, looked up at me and smiled.

Nica: You really are a strange woman.

——Neutral POV——

[BLACK]

Sitting on the bench, Kate stuffed her cheek with her sandwich.

[ALLEYWAY]

From a place nearby, several men and women were staring at Nica, who wore a sunny expression.

???: Found you, Nica Schwartz.

[BLACK]

That shady smile then faded into the back of the alley.

t. b. c ⸝⸝

nica schwartz chapter 11 letter — a memo left in nica’s room .

masterlist 🍒 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

[PARTY VENUE - GARDEN - NIGHT]

Nica: Even if it’s just me, that’s fine too.

Nica: Things like love and romance are like specks of dust to me.

Nica: As is trust and expectations— those can vanish in a blink of an eye.

Step by step, he approached me before pulling my hand.

Kate: Wah—

I lost my balance and was about to fall when a hand wrapped around my waist to support me, and before I realized it we were in a dance posture.

He started to lead with his steps, twirling me around.

Nica: I tricked many and played their hearts...and like the fools they were they’d spin round and round in the palm of my hand.

Nica: What a joke, huh.

He spun me around over and over like a ballerina, causing my vision to spin as I fell unceremoniously on his chest.

Kate: How can you do such cruel things?

Leaning my head into his chest, I fixed my unfocused gaze to the ground.

Nica: ...Our Curse is the Black Swan from The Swan Lake, Kate.

Nica: The prince swore his love to the Black Swan, the daughter of the devil herself...having mistaken her for the real princess.

Nica: And so, the real princess, the White Swan, was betrayed.

My vision finally steadied as I lifted my head.

Nica was illuminated by the moonlight as he looked down at me with a serious expression.

Nica: Be it love or romance, they’re all nothing but illusions.

Nica: And I just wield those illusions and continue to play around with love. All to become the happiest in the world.

Nica: All so...I don’t get swept up in this fate.

I couldn’t turn my eyes away from that uncharacteristically earnest look he wore, but then we heard voices.

Tall and gorgeous lady: Mister Nica and Miss Kate, or so I recall...are they truly a married couple, I have to wonder?

Lady in purple: I did see the wife always some distance away from her partner...perhaps they share a strained relationship.

Tall and gorgeous lady: So she wasn’t immediately taken with such a smooth-mannered man?

Hearing the two’s voices giggling from the sidewalk, we turned to each other.

Nica: Behold— the results of your god awful acting skills.

Kate: Urgh...

(It’s utterly frustrating but I can’t argue back because that is indeed true...!)

Unlike me, whose head was riling up, Nica stood opposite of me with a look that he had thought of something as he grinned—

Nica: Since we’re at this point now, how about we give them a good show of just how well we get along as a married couple?

Kate: Huh...mm—

The next moment, Nica’s lips suddenly covered my own.

His tongue made its way inside the opening of my mouth, taking and twining mine with his as I tried frantically to escape.

Kate: Wh— ...uh...mm—

Our mouths made a wet sound, and as saliva dripped from the corner of my lips, I went numb from pleasure.

I tried to turn away, but I couldn’t run with how he was holding the back of my head.

(I can’t move at all—)

I tried my best to push on his chest, but Nica’s body didn’t move an inch.

Kate: No...haa—

[BLACK]

But the kiss felt so good, I no longer had the energy to push against him...

And I got swept up in his kiss, when a pang shot through my heart.

How was he this good at kissing? Just how many women’s lips did he steal?

Thoughts like these filled my mind to the brim, only to be pulled back into the pleasure, and once again my mind would wander.

[PARTY VENUE - GARDEN]

Nica’s hand lifted my dress before starting to stroke my thighs—

Kate: Ngh...ah...

He traced his finger between my legs over my undergarments, going back and forth, over and over.

The kisses made that area wet, so even that deliberate stimulus tingled.

Kate: Nica— don’t...mm—

Nica: Hah...you’re not exactly convincing, seeing a kiss is all it takes for you to become like this.

Our lips parted, a silver thread hanging between us.

His fingers slipped inside my undergarments and entered into me as he pushed down on my swollen bud.

[SCREEN FLASHES WHITE]

Kate: Uah...!

Nica: I already know all your good spots, and that you like it when I push down and move like this.

Kate: Sto— ah...no...!

His thumb, which had been pushing down on my bud, moved left and right. My legs trembled from the almost numbing pleasure, and I clung onto him.

But Nica showed no sign of stopping as he buried his fingers inside and added onto the stimulus from there—

Nica: And when I go deeper inside...

[SCREEN FLASHES WHITE]

Kate: —Ha, ngh!

The next moment I came undone, and with my legs giving out, he held onto me tight.

Nica: See, you came just like that.

He scooped a bit of the nectar that dripped down my thighs before lifting his sensually soaked finger in front of my face.

Nica: So? Should I go even deeper?

In the midst of my flickering vision, I mustered the last of my rationale to shake my head.

But my insides continued to tingle, seeking out those nectar-soaked fingers, illuminated by the moonlight.

But then—

All of a sudden, I heard small cries from the sidewalk, and I saw the women running off, their faces completely red.

Nica: Well, that’s dull of them. They could’ve stayed and watched to the end.

He laughed as though to make fun of them, and having found my composure again, I leaned my head back as far as I could take it—

[SCREEN FLASHES WHITE]

Nica: —OW!!!

—and headbutted him on the forehead.

Kate: Ohh. My god. I cannot believe the likes of you!!!

I was trembling with rage, and in response Nica blinked up at me, but then like a boy he lowered his eyes and stifled a laugh.

Nica: Hah, did you seriously just headbutt me...God, I can’t with you...

That smile was so bright, I couldn’t help but be drawn to them for a moment as my heart skipped a beat.

(Ahh, I...even after all I’ve been through, my feelings for this person can’t fade away.)

I fell for the kind Nica. But that kindness was fake, and the real Nica was the worst man.

And yet, my heart still sang at the sight of him.

Even though I was betrayed, even though he played with my feelings, a part of me was attracted to him.

And it was because of that, I wanted to probe into what had struck me as strange.

Kate: ...No matter how much money and power you gain, trust and expectations aren’t things you can buy.

Kate: The only thing that awaits you by continuing to do this is your own downfall.

Kate: You’ll end up getting stabbed by someone you’ve played with, before you can become the world’s happiest man.

Nica: Great, couldn’t ask for more.

Kate: You’ll lose the people who protect and trust you then.

Nica: Not that I had any in the first place. Such is my life.

In order to gain money and power, he continued to play other people, deceiving them.

If he continued doing so, someday he would get punished for it.

And above all—

Kate: And is that life “happy” to you?

Up until now, Nica had been smiling, but then his expression warped into discomfort as he drew away from me.

Nica: You can think what you want, but could you quit swinging around that sense of justice to lecture me?

Nica: Toys are there for me to use and enjoy. That’s all they need to be.

Kate: Nica—

He turned away, and I reached out for him.

But Nica brushed away my hand, turning around to say...

Nica: I am happy. More than you’ll ever know.

But nowhere on his face did it look happy—

Kate: ...Then don’t make that face. It doesn’t look happy at all.

For some reason, a droplet fell, tracing along my cheek.

[BLACK]

Nica didn’t say anything, only turning his back to me and walking off.

t. b. c ⸝⸝

masterlist 🍒 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

[PALACE - KATE’S ROOM - EVENING]

If there existed in life its most gloomy moment, that moment would surely be now.

Kate: …

Lying flat on my stomach with all limbs outstretched across the bed, I buried my face into the cushions.

(I’ve just been lying like this the entire day and more…)

Even when the sun set, the veil of night fell, the morning sun rose and started its descent again, I remained lying where I was.

I couldn’t even get a wink of sleep, but neither did I have any will to move: my heart would not recover to its former state.

There were a few times I would hear knocking at the door— probably the maids— but every time I brushed them off without answering.

They might have found out I snuck to the office to steal documents.

Or maybe Nica told them himself.

Every time a knock resounded at the door, that was all I could think about. I couldn’t help but cower from fear—

(…But just staying still like this won’t change anything.)

If anything, it would only make things worse. With this thought, I pulled myself up at last.

(I look awful…)

Reflected in the mirror was a face with swollen eyes from crying— it had gotten so bad, though, I couldn’t help but laugh.

Kate: Maybe I should shower.

Maybe soaking my head with cool water would clear my mind.

[BLACK]

I stood up and, with unsteady footing, made my way to the bathroom.

[PALACE - KATE’S ROOM - EVENING]

Feeling refreshed from the shower, I came back to my room in a bit of a better mood.

While drying my dripping wet hair, I stopped in front of my typewriter.

(I have to write that report Nica stole from me over again.)

The shelf where the report had been locked inside was now empty.

He had probably removed the report from here when he visited my room.

(And that must’ve also been why the report I thought I finished was half-written, I’m sure…)

I probably have cried the tears I could at having been betrayed, so now frustration bubbled up inside me as I bit my lip.

(Who in their right mind would steal people’s things the moment they let their guard down…!)

I can’t believe you; how could you do this; you’re the worst.

My complaints toward Nica came one after another, riling me up. But—

——Flashback——

[PALACE - NICA’S ROOM - DAY]

Nica: The worst, huh. Don’t ask for decency from someone who’s only ever lived like this.

——End flashback——

[PALACE - KATE’S ROOM - EVENING]

The words he had said then continued to mess with my heart.

(…I didn’t know anything about Nica.)

I was fooled by a superficial kindness, and I was played, hurt, and betrayed.

I think the Nica I was drawn to did not go any deeper than the surface level.

Kate: I really am a fool…

A shadow loomed over my feelings once again as I looked down, when I heard a knock at the door—

Kate: !!

??? (Liam): Kate, are you there?

While I came with a start at the familiar voice, the very next moment the door opened.

On the other side stood Harrison and Liam, their eyes widening and their postures stiffening with a look to my face.

Harrison: Hey, your face…

Liam: Wha…a-are you okay!?

Even with a shower, the dark circles and swelling under my eyes did not go away. Seeing the sight, the two went pale as they entered.

Liam: What’s wrong? Did someone do something to you?

I couldn’t even look the worried Liam in the eyes, so I gave an answer with my gaze averted.

Kate: Uhm, I’m fine. Just going through a lot...

He wasn’t necessarily wrong in that someone did something to me, but I couldn’t say that as I diverted the subject with a laugh.

When I did, I heard Harrison’s fed-up voice—

Harrison: What, so you really were played?

Kate: Huh—

I raised my head without thinking to see Harrison looking straight my way.

Harrison: Looks like I hit the mark.

He didn’t even need to ask who it was.

Liam’s expression seemed awkward as he spared Harrison a glance before turning to me.

Liam: Actually, we had seen Nica out in town playing with girls many times.

Harrison: Not only that, other Crown members would happen to find him out and about, with a different girl every time.

Harrison leaned against the wall and crossed his arm as he continued.

Harrison: He would also go to one suspicious shop after another too.

After knowing what Nica was really like, hearing such a thing was hardly a surprise.

But still, my chest prickled, and my toyed heart started to cry tears the eye couldn’t see.

Liam: So yeah, we were always worried about you...

Harrison: I hate to say this too, but you really have the worst taste in men.

Kate: ...I can’t argue with that.

The barb stabbed me hard, and I covered my face instinctively in response.

The day it was decided I would work for Vogel as fairytale keeper too and brought to the basement,

everyone besides myself made a complicated face— and only now did I understand why.

Seeing me in my current state, Liam’s expression brightened like a switch as he spread his hands.

Liam: Hey, Kate, Harry and I were planning to go to a café that recently opened. Let’s go together there!

Liam: Harry can pay today! Right?

Harrison: Why me...well, I guess I can cover Kate’s portion.

As much as I felt grateful for the two’s comfort and kindness, I felt guilt looming over at the same time.

(But still, I betrayed Crown...)

Under Nica’s ability, I had handed over information on Crown, even if it was by accident.

Even if it was information Nica already knew, and even if I had returned it,

none of it changed the fact that I had committed a sin.

And the more they treated me with kindness, the more heavily that truth weighed down on me.

(...Maybe I should just be honest.)

Figuring hiding it wouldn’t do much good, I opened my mouth.

Kate: Um, I—

Just then, the doorknob turned and the door flew open.

Nica: Look at you, bringing men other than me to your room. Having an affair in broad daylight?

Nica, who came in without a knock, looked my way for but a moment before immediately turning to Liam and Harrison.

Harrison: Can you even call it an affair if you two aren’t even going out together?

A biting air filled the room.

Nica only gave his usual smile in response to the two’s caution.

Nica: Well, anyhow I came for the Spatzi, not you guys.

Kate: I...don’t want anything to do with you though...

Nica: Missed me much? I know, no need to be so shy.

He approached me and whispered in my ear.

Nica: Looks like they haven’t found out about what happened yesterday.

Nica: So maybe since I’m here I should put it all out...about the relationship you and I have.

Kate: —!

Nica’s smile was wide.

Nica: You would hate that, wouldn’t you?

My eyes wandered, unable to give an immediate answer. Seeing this, Nica gave an exasperated look, but the next moment he recomposed himself.

Nica: It’s time for work, Kate, as Vogel’s fairytale keeper.

Nica: You’re not the type to just throw away the job once you decide to take it on, right?

I couldn’t say anything back, but unable to say no, I gave a small nod.

Nica: And so that’s that.

[BLACK]

He waved to the two before heading out, dragging me with.

[CARRIAGE INTERIOR]

I went on the carriage, was brought to a boutique, and after being put into a dress, we returned to the carriage.

Nica: What a fitting dress, I say it looks great on you.

I didn’t respond to Nica’s words of praise, instead turning away to look through the window.

Reflected on its surface was myself donning a beautiful dress, but with a down expression.

Nica: There’s no way you’re ignoring me, are you? Of all things.

────────୨ৎ────────

[1] Ignore him even more.

[2] I’m not happy.

[3] You don’t even think that. (+4/+4)

────────୨ৎ────────

Kate: You don’t even think that.

Nica: I’m not really flattering you, you know. I actually do think so.

Nica: But I take it you know well what’ll happen if you keep that rebellious attitude up.

Nica: I can’t say it’s cute of you to not just honestly take a compliment for what it is.

Kate: ...You want me to be cute now, after everything?

Nica: ...Hah.

He chuckled as if to look down on me, and while that was frustrating, I couldn’t help but think then.

(What I saw was probably the real Nica.)

That smile riled me up from the bottom of my heart,

but compared to the smiles he had always shown before, this one felt the most true to himself.

Nica: We’re headed to a club where the upper class gather.

Nica: Like the party before, a partner is essential, and they won’t let us in unless said partner is one for life.

Kate: ...So I’m that partner, is that it?

Nica: Great that you caught on quickly.

It seemed the mission was once again infiltrating into a place as his partner.

Kate: So, what sort of intelligence are you looking for this time?

Nica: Eh, nothing much. Was just thinking of flattering those nobles.

There was definitely more to it— I knew this, perhaps because now I knew what his true character was like.

When I shot him a dubious look, Nica smiled as he usually did.

Nica: You keep that face up by the time we get off, and I’ll be using my ability again.

In a panic, I put both of my hands beneath my legs.

Nica: Play your part well, Kate.

(Oh, you...!)

[BLACK]

Nica laughed in amusement of it all.

[PARTY VENUE - NIGHT]

In the end, there was not a single suspicious happening in this party that only allowed married couples in.

It was simply a venue for the upper class to vent and complain about their everyday frustrations, indulging in delicious food and beverages.

Apparently, it was originally meant to be a gathering among friends, but it gradually grew until the club reached a considerable 30 members.

So, I was a bit let down.

(That said, I was the one who jumped to conclusions about this place…maybe it’s because this is for a mission, or the fact I had been deceived by Nica.)

But as it stood now, there was not even a sliver of a secret, air of danger, or suspicion to be seen in the venue.

At most, there were people speaking fondly and proudly about their partners.

Woman in purple dress: Just the day before, I visited the theater with my husband, and let me tell you, he was so moved he started to cry by my side…

Woman with a folding fan: Well, how darling of him…As for me, my partner has been treating me as a lover even now.

Woman with floral accessories: My, how wonderful! At my place—

Before me, I saw Nica conversing with a circle of men, an amiable air about him.

It didn’t seem like he used his ability, but even so, people around were drawn to him a mere hour into the party.

(Come to think of it, at the previous party he was also quite popular and getting friendly with others.)

And the way he was able to get people to like him without using his ability was, without a doubt, his own power.

But, as I stared dazedly at him, I noticed something.

(It’s like he’s not enjoying this at all.)

The Nica before my eyes was the surface-level Nica I knew.

Kind, good at talking and good at asking questions, loved by everyone— that Nica Schwartz.

But, now knowing his true nature, I came to a realization.

When he made such a face, while he did feel the situation was pleasant, he didn’t find any enjoyment from it all. [1]

——Flashback——

[PALACE - KATE’S ROOM - MORNING]

Nica: Pfftt… ahahahahaha!!!

N: Ha… you’re really something, you know.

——End flashback——

[PARTY VENUE - NIGHT]

I felt like if Nica was truly enjoying something, he would seem more bright.

(…I wonder why he’s working as Vogel’s advisor.)

Was it because deceiving people and playing with their love was part of the job, or was it a hobby of his?

I didn’t know the answer to even that, but…

——Flashback——

[PALACE - NICA’S ROOM - DAY]

Nica: But lucky for me I got the money. In the end, money and power really are the best.

——End flashback——

[PARTY VENUE - NIGHT]

(There’s so many things I don’t know.)

Perhaps with the venue having warmed up, the dance hall was buzzing.

[BLACK]

And unable to keep up with it, I sneaked out of the venue and made my way to the garden.

[PARTY VENUE - GARDEN]

Kate: Huu…

Taking a seat on a bench and letting out a sigh, I stared out at the beautiful garden.

Unlike the bustling noise from the party, outside was quiet enough that the only sound I could hear was that of the wind.

But that was soon accompanied by the ever-growing sound of footsteps before they stopped in front of me.

Nica: This would make it the second time you ran off somewhere without even giving me a word. Is there some sort of reason?

Kate: Did you get what you came here for?

Nica: A dry answer if I ever heard one. But yeah, I did. Likely gained their trust.

He turned on his heel, walking toward the fountain. Looking at his back, I felt an urge come up to say something back.

Kate: And yet you would break that very trust and expectations just like that, no?

Nica stopped where he was as he put his hands in his pockets.

Nica: Well that goes without saying. Stuff like that can’t hold a candle to money and power.

(“Money and power”…)

It was akin to something those Crown targeted to condemn would say.

Dabbling in illegal things for money, or killing and hurting many people for power.

What Nica was saying was not so different from the evil I had come to see.

(But—)

Even those who were condemned had their reasons for dabbling into evil.

Even if I couldn’t accept it, there would always be a reason behind it, without exception.

And that was why…I had to ask him.

Kate: So if you do get that money and power, what do you plan to do with those then?

The moonlight filtered through the gaps between the clouds, illuminating his back.

Nica turned around, a somewhat distant look in his eyes as he smiled.

Nica: You see…I’m going to become the world’s happiest man.

But that expression he wore…

Nica: And for that, I’d run any and all the risks— so it all falls to my hands.

The smile that he wore looked so lonely and hurt—

—more so than any I had seen of him ever before.

t. b. c ⸝⸝

masterlist 🍒 ┊ ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

────────୨ৎ────────

NOTES:

[1] This whole line made me want to combust, so let me give a little more explanation and context here in case this wasn’t clear. There are two words they use here: [楽しい] (tanoshī) and [愉しい] (tanoshī). As you can see, they have the same pronunciation, and generally speaking, share the same overall meaning— that being something along the lines of “having fun”. But, this was something that was really emphasized in this line (and chapter), as at this point Kate is starting to differentiate the “fake” Nica from the “true” one. Basically, [愉しい] can have a sort of more light implication, like something not being very stressful or something relaxing; on the other hand, [楽しい] is more like full feelings of joy and pleasantness. The type of feeling when you truly enjoy whatever situation you’re in to the fullest.

────────୨ৎ────────