nvcmc

No longer brings back the butterflies from the past

Like how you made me giggle

And reassures that it’s just me. Only me.

The mysteries have been unlocked,

The path is now just you, me or us,

Every morning seems just like a nod

As Sundays turned overrated and mundane.

Your feelings no longer sparks nor ignites

Leaving me with questions and confusions,

How do we fight this?

Or now, it’s only me.

Love, your love is lacking in deeds and words.

And I already feel so tired after all these years

I hope that at the end of whatever tunnel we have

We will be able to make it through.

brought by the pain that lasts and never seems to die.

How does one get by?

Red flags planted, emotions overshadowed it

now, I suffer as I took the hit

because you want to split.

Do “I” deserve the ache?

When the emotions, the time, and the investment aren’t a piece of cake,

Ohh, wait! Do “I” even have a take?

On the month of May

I thought I let it all swayed,

but only got dismayed.

Months have passed

and things are like a broken glass

I even wished we don’t cross paths.

An afternoon coffee that’s freshly brewed

feeling hopeful and renewed,

but it only made me blue.

As I got a glimpse of you, when I only want to bid you adieu.

Neive MC.

I miss my grandparents my tita and my brother, and their passing made me feel scared that one day I might forget my memories of them. How they smile, how they call my name, or how they hugged me.

I don’t think it is right to say you can move on from someone’s demise after years because I don’t think so, and I think I will never understand moving on from one. I think it just adds up when someone passes and that makes it harder every time.

How you would miss someone and then there goes another one. It’s a never-ending pain for me.

Also, I don’t think it’s true what they say “The world will continue even after someone’s death.”

It’s true what they say, “Some days are just hard.”The past few days I find it so easy to cry. I saw a kdrama that has an episode about an elderly and that triggered some of my suppressed emotions for days now.

I miss my grandparents my tita and my brother, and their passing made me feel scared that one day I might forget my memories of them. How they smile, how they call my name, or how they hugged me.

I don’t think it is right to say you can move on from someone’s demise after years because I don’t think so, and I think I will never understand moving on from one. I think it just adds up when someone passes and that makes it harder every time.

How you would miss someone and then there goes another one. It’s a never-ending pain for me.

Also, I don’t think it’s true what they say “The world will continue even after someone’s death.”

Like the memories we carry when we visit a new place, the joy we accept when we recall thoughts from singing songs we haven’t heard for years, and the tastes of those sumptuous food that only that dear person can cook,

to the people we lost—the crevices on their faces whenever they smile or frown that we so fondly try to hold, their kindness, and the warm hug they give.

Hey, Tumblr! It’s been awhile I hope I am still allowed to pour my thoughts on this little space on the internet. :)

I hope everyone is safe and well. This quarantined life is so hard, and consuming. It’s been so long since we are able to go out, meet our family, and friends, go to school, and/or work. Have you been coping well? I hope we all are. 

When I was eight years old, I lived with her. Back then, she would do my hair, prepare my food, buy me different stuff like shorts, bags, and other accessories Lolo won’t approve. She would even  sew clothes for me. She subtly spoiled me, and it was our little secret. Our little secret that went on for years as she loves sharing, caring, and giving things not just to me but to all her grandchildren. 

You shared your life with us sincerely, and generously.

I have been in love with photography ever since I was able to bring a film camera on our field trip during my first year in high school. Although the affection wasn’t that deep that time, my love for photography has started growing since then. I started with a point and shoot, and grown out of it. Until, I wanted to buy a DSLR, but due to my nonexistent savings, that will take time.

On another story, back in 2014, I inherited this Minolta X-500 film camera. I was too ecstatic when I held it with my hands that’s why I immediately asked my bf to have it loaded with new batteries and of course, a film. On our visit to Baguio City last 2014, I brought the camera with me. It also served as my test run for the camera if if doesn’t work anymore since it has seated in the cabinet for more than 10 years. 

Lo and behold, after 3 years, I was able to have my first roll developed, and the pictures are all amazing!!!