Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Itâs true what they say, âSome days are just hard.âThe past few days I find it so easy to cry. I saw a kdrama that has an episode about an elderly and that triggered some of my suppressed emotions for days now.
I miss my grandparents my tita and my brother, and their passing made me feel scared that one day I might forget my memories of them. How they smile, how they call my name, or how they hugged me.
I donât think it is right to say you can move on from someoneâs demise after years because I donât think so, and I think I will never understand moving on from one. I think it just adds up when someone passes and that makes it harder every time.
How you would miss someone and then there goes another one. Itâs a never-ending pain for me.
Also, I donât think itâs true what they say âThe world will continue even after someoneâs death.â
Itâs true what they say, âSome days are just hard.âThe past few days I find it so easy to cry. I saw a kdrama that has an episode about an elderly and that triggered some of my suppressed emotions for days now.
I miss my grandparents my tita and my brother, and their passing made me feel scared that one day I might forget my memories of them. How they smile, how they call my name, or how they hugged me.
I donât think it is right to say you can move on from someoneâs demise after years because I donât think so, and I think I will never understand moving on from one. I think it just adds up when someone passes and that makes it harder every time.
How you would miss someone and then there goes another one. Itâs a never-ending pain for me.
Also, I donât think itâs true what they say âThe world will continue even after someoneâs death.â
Ă thought that whoever might have spilled that has never really loved someone because when you lose someone, as cliche it may sound, youâll never be the same, it is as if they took a part of you when they left.
I never realized the strength of memories until today. It reached a full circle of how compelling it is for meâhow it could make us feel miserable or happy even when weâre just staring at a single piece of jewelry.
Like the memories we carry when we visit a new place, the joy we accept when we recall thoughts from singing songs we havenât heard for years, and the tastes of those sumptuous food that only that dear person can cook,
to the people we lostâthe crevices on their faces whenever they smile or frown that we so fondly try to hold, their kindness, and the warm hug they give.
that we become fully aware of the space that exists from the time that they passed to the point that we remember them again. And again. đ
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Hey, Tumblr! Itâs been awhile I hope I am still allowed to pour my thoughts on this little space on the internet. :)
I hope everyone is safe and well. This quarantined life is so hard, and consuming. Itâs been so long since we are able to go out, meet our family, and friends, go to school, and/or work. Have you been coping well? I hope we all are.Â
Anyway, this has been my view for almost 2 months now. I even tidied my long forgotten stuff behind the macbook for me to get motivated to work, but of course there are times when we just want to slack off, right? HAHA. But, then realize that we need the extra ecstasy of normalcy to keep us sane so, we continue to work our asses off.Â
Funny how working from home is the one that keeps me going during this pandemic as I am away from my family. Are you like me who also have so many âI wish I...â moments?Â
Apart from working from home, Iâve just been cleaning, trying to cook whatever my tastebuds can stomach, and savoring the summer heat. Nothing much has really happened from the last time I blogged, and nothing seems to interest me to share on my tiny space here, or there were too much that I cannot seem to put those into a blog anymore.Â
Have you experienced that moment in time and space when you want to share so much, but cannot find the right words for you to be able to share? I have been stuck in a trance is how I define it. This thin line between being composing, and creating is so deafening I just stopped.Â
How can someone full of life die?Â
This quarantined life made me realize so many things that I have been putting on the sideline for a long time. Although I am glad I made a leap by posting this entry, for one, it doesnât reflect how things really are. Sadly, I cannot even act on it-- I feel in denial, or if I am being honest, Iâd say that I lost it. The spark of creativityâ the spark.
Oh well, let me end the sad thoughts here. I really hope I can still go back.Â
When I was eight years old, I lived with her. Back then, she would do my hair, prepare my food, buy me different stuff like shorts, bags, and other accessories Lolo wonât approve. She would even  sew clothes for me. She subtly spoiled me, and it was our little secret. Our little secret that went on for years as she loves sharing, caring, and giving things not just to me but to all her grandchildren.Â
You shared your life with us sincerely, and generously.
Last 2016, when I got sick, I didnât have enough savings as I was new to work so, I asked my mama if she can lend me money to pay for my hospital bills. When I was about to pay the amount, mama told me that I donât need to pay for it anymore. Little did I know, she was the one who gave me the generous amount.
Itâs been ten days since you left, and there is not a day that passed that I did not think of you. I miss you so much, and until now I still remind myself that itâs better now. Just like what I answered others, âthereâs no more painâ, but itâs just so hard.
Itâs so hard to accept that I wonât see you anymore, that I wonât see you waiting for me whenever I come home, that I wonât hear your snide remarks, that I wonât be able to eat your sumptuous dishes because the constant person who remembers all our birthday has passed-- that you are no longer with us.
Others may say that the length of your stay is a bonus, however, I canât take it that way. To me, your passing was so fast that it hurts me immensely Iâm having a hard time to move on. I have developed a different kind of attachment to you since day one.Â
I knew that I will sound selfish if I ever asked you to stay longer when I saw how you fought, and tried, but canât, and I understand. I hoped that you stayed longer as the brave, loving, and happy person as you always were.
Like what Tito said, you donât like dramas, but please forgive me that I still cry -that my heart is still in pain until now which will probably continue until God knows when, but know that I will also try to be brave just like how you were, and stop crying. I can never quantify all the things you have done for me, but still, thank you for the life you shared with me, and for everything you did.
You know what? I hate it when I text you long messages because I know you won't read everything so, you won't really understand my feelings.Â
And then, one time, I wanted to ask you why you don't read my messages, but I stopped when I realized you might answer me "I don't like reading long messages." and that will hurt me. So damn much. Â Â
but I still do it anyway.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
I have been in love with photography ever since I was able to bring a film camera on our field trip during my first year in high school. Although the affection wasnât that deep that time, my love for photography has started growing since then. I started with a point and shoot, and grown out of it. Until, I wanted to buy a DSLR, but due to my nonexistent savings, that will take time.
On another story, back in 2014, I inherited this Minolta X-500 film camera. I was too ecstatic when I held it with my hands thatâs why I immediately asked my bf to have it loaded with new batteries and of course, a film. On our visit to Baguio City last 2014, I brought the camera with me. It also served as my test run for the camera if if doesnât work anymore since it has seated in the cabinet for more than 10 years.Â
Lo and behold, after 3 years, I was able to have my first roll developed, and the pictures are all amazing!!!Â
Porac Pampanga
View from SM Baguio City
Obligatory photos!Â
Given the result it provided, and being closer to where I can have my rolls developed, I will try to shoot more in film now. I am grateful being able to preserve such treasure. More of analog photography soon! Thank you for reading and please do leave some comments. đ
 (P.S. Tumblr made the photos resolution rubbish! Iâve been contemplating of transferring platform. )