Best When Numb (results may vary)

Omg I don us a mistak

“Each of us get a copy”

Your body is an incredibly bizarre machine.

be sure to mind cracks in the side walk (only organic ones matter, the straight separating lines dont count) 

black cats are tremendously lucky, but you should be kind to one just for the hell of it

dont look in mirrors today. 

if you see ladders obstructing walkways, going underneath it is indeed passing through a portal  but it just leads to a separate dimension where everything is the same except a lot more people have been named Frank. Don’t recommend. just walk around it

Don’t make eye contact with the suspiciously normal looking people manning said ladders. theyre Franks. 

be sure to make your midday tea and stir counter clockwise with a knife 

usually youd have to catch a spider in your home and release it outdoors in order to receive a free answer to any question, but today all spiders will give free answers to questions you didnt know you had, but in obnoxious riddles, and it’s more hassle than its worth. avoid

it is perfectly valid to levitate in your room for 10 hours while shouting ancient hymns in an unrecognizable language and then pass out and not remember any of it. you are valid 

say hello to any ghost or ghoul you see today! its only polite

however, if you see a doppleganger of yourself, you must follow it, but from a distance. dont let it disappear from your sights before youve had a chance to spot the one difference between you and it and please do remember that slight changes in hair length is usually just the wind moving it in a strange way.

if your doppleganger approaches you, then you’re the doppleganger this year. run

 if you happen to catch a glimpse of your reflection and the movement seems off, dont panic! the system will be lagging a bit, nothing serious 

candy will be extra sweet today so if you’re into that then by all means 

A perfect illustration showing why Halloween is awesome.