anonymous :
I forgive you.
The voice is familiar, faint, lost in the fog surrounding the area. There is no presence here that you can sense, but the voice is unmistakably his, ringing in your ears as if he were right next to you, touching your shoulder gently, hoping to comfort.
I don't know if this will reach you. I have no way to get where you are, nor can I talk to you for long the way we used to...
The voice continues, chatty despite claiming to not know whether the words will reach an audience, but still trying like he always did. Because he would never give up on finding you, on reaching for your hand. In that, you were perhaps much the same.
...but I figured I would still say it. Because you keep trying so hard for me, Lu Guang. But you deserve rest, and maybe some peace of mind for once.
A small stretch of silence is followed by a frustrated sigh, almost as if the voice had realized that he's just talking to the air, that there is no one to receive his sentiment. But then, failing again to give up the thought, he takes another deep breath and resumes his speech.
If we meet again in the next life, I hope we can recognize each other and hang out again like old times. But in the meantime, please live for me. And forgive yourself, just as I do.
With that last syllable spoken, the voice stopped and vanished into nowhere, along with the sensation of a hand on your shoulder. You are now alone again, in the middle of this blank, foggy place.
⸻ surrounded by paradoxes and enigmas alike, it was only natural that a moment as ephemeral as this would linger. even as the proverbial light snuffed out — lu guang stumbled through the dark, guided by the scattering remnants of a presence that defied and usurped the hand of fate.
but his parting gift, had only left the chrononaut shrouded in despair and saudade.
his voice; cheng xiaoshi’s voice, once those soothing notes, trickled towards the coda. where the composition of a life that was ending too soon would reach its cadence; playing a fermata that promised no epilogue afterwards.
or it would have if not for the caesura.
❝ i hear you. ❞ lu guang called out to the nothingness — that held everything. ❝ i hear you, xiaoshi. ❞
yet, even as his words fled into the caliginosity, lu guang feared he was too late. it was as if they became swallowed the instant his declaration was vocalised, consumed by the stygian night that encompassed all that stretched before his very eyes.
❝ this isn’t the end. ❞ he continued, undeterred by the knowledge that all this was for naught. after all, if this was his last and only chance, then he would be a fool to not seize it. and he had already been foolish enough to take it for granted. ❝ i haven’t given up, so neither should you. ❞
the volume that had been set to a permanent decibel level, turned up by a fraction, as if it might pierce through the cloak of tenebrosity. ripping past the tapestry that had woven itself around the pair, by the seamstress known as destiny.
❝ i will find you. ❞ he proclaimed to an invisible audience; to the intangible crowd of one. ❝ i will always find you. ❞
and in the wake of that eternal obscurity — lu guang took a step into the unknown.