𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐨𝐧; ⠀ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 .
ALL ARE WELCOME TO PARTICIPATE IN THE EPIPHANY OF ELATION — but not all are meant for it .
⤻ ⠀ 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗨𝗗𝗘 ﹕ the definition of elation, according to milou mingate .
what does it mean to be elated? the pool of answers to this question is as vast as the cosmos itself. everyone has their own tale to tell, some more convoluted than others. nevertheless, you will never find two people saying the same thing.
for milou, the answer is complicated — as is the standard modus operandi for this woman. in this post, i’ll be going into more detail on milou’s definition of elation : what triggers it, how she experiences it, how she expresses it & how it affects her actions.
⤻ ⠀ 𝗔𝗖𝗧 I ﹕ recollecting the past .
to start things off, a quick recap on milou’s introspection: ⠀ at her core, milou is a deeply apathetic individual. stripped of all her different masks, you are left with a woman that teeters on the edge of spiralling into nihility. you can basically imagine ‘ nihility ’ being the foundation of your cake, ‘ elation ’ & everything else are the extras you put on top — like frosting or decorations, so the value increases & your cake sells better.
ELATION is initially a means to an end. it is a weapon she uses to fight against the despair of the void, as well as the origin of her character’s juxtaposition. she longs to embrace death; to let go of everything that tethers her to this world, for she has no reason to keep going. to exist means to suffer.
yet at the same time, milou is her own greatest adversary. to be precise, it is her own pride & pettiness that keeps her afloat. while her wish may be simple to fulfil on paper, under no circumstances will she be able to rest easy if she took the path of least resistance. even worse, she could never let herself be defeated by an aeon.
death is overruled by a woman that will die on her own terms. she treads on a fine line between life & death, although never truly belonging to either of them.
now, we come back to the original matter. what is elation to milou & what elicits this feeling within her? how does the elation become a weapon in her hand, fighting for the survival of her humanity?
⤻ ⠀ 𝗔𝗖𝗧 II ﹕ taking it to the extremes .
eliciting feelings of elation within milou is essentially to play a game of high risk, high reward. milou is a gambling woman; not recklessly impulsive per say, but known to primarily act in self-interest with her whimsy being the driving force in her decision making.
whenever milou partakes in risky behaviour, she cares little for collateral damage that exists in the aftermath of her actions. she thrives on chaos, quite literally drawing her essence of life from it. with that being said, milou’s endeavours don’t always come at the expense of others around her. if anything, she is the one that suffers the most from her behaviour.
in a way, milou’s idea of elation equals sabotaging & harming herself. to be an enigma to all she comes across & involving them in a game of deception is part of the fun, but it quickly becomes boring when people are too predictable for their own good. partly due to having walked down the path of nihility as far as she has, milou barely feels any physical sensation anymore. she’s numb, both mentally & physically, which also feeds back into her apathetic disposition towards life in general. what is the point of living if you are not able to feel anything? so, she must compensate ⠀ ⸺ ⠀ be it gambling, drinking, having sex or fighting. milou is constantly searching for anything that makes her feel alive; to feel human, no matter what it takes. yet one question remains ⠀ ⸺ ⠀ is the true elation found within the hunt or the prey?
this meta mostly looks into the original driving force behind milou & her actions. sometime in the future, i will make a post that expands on this & highlights how her stance shifted after becoming an emanator. to clarify; her goals ( for how little there are ) & motivations don’t change drastically, but it reinforces her already existing beliefs.
