?

like i was watching to the bone and i’m like omg i wish i was as thin as her? like the movie is supposed to scare you and it motivates me?

or i’ll meet someone new and i’m my head try and calculate how much they weigh? i’ll never say it aloud because that’s so rude but why! big or small i try and figure out their height and weight or bmi? if someone did that to me i’d cry.

or i’ll find weird body parts attractive. not like feet fetishes or whatever lol but i’ll be like woah she has really nice collarbones or knuckles? like that’s so fucking weird to be thinking of someone knuckles!

i also constantly think about food. even when i’m eating i’m still thinking of my next meal and how to avoid it or eat as little as possible.

i’ll also eat the most disgusting foods. bone broth? rice cakes? green tea? black coffee? i hate all of those things and honestly it’s so bland and gross. but sugar and spices are usually too high.

that’s another thing- i use calories like a point system. today i had a popsicle and i ate it within like 10 mins and i caught myself thinking ‘that was the worst waste of 70 cals ever’? kind of like spending money- the temptation, the guilt and repeat.

you are not an afterthought or included to a baseline, you are foundational. the LGBT community and the wlw community is fundamentally yours and you are important.