I Should Go

The adjacent door leading to the bathroom opened, and Leliana stepped into the room. Her sharp eyes felt piercing, and in that moment, Nienna wanted nothing more than to hide away. Shame and guilt bubbled within her.

“Nervous?” Her...something asked, accent curling around the word in a way Nienna normally would have found adorable. And it still was but--!

She couldn’t even force a smile, so sick to her stomach as she was. Here they were on the cusp of a great many things: a legendary victory, a disastrous defeat, a love that thrived in adversity but may wither in the next few moments.

“Leliana, can I...ask you something?” Nienna asked hesitantly. It was strange; they could talk to each other about anything, argue about faith and gods until their faces turned red and still laugh afterward.

That was how Leliana knew something was off. The bard quickly approached, and as her lover gently gripped her arms to pull her close, Nienna just closed her eyes and breathed in the familiar scent of floral soap.

“Anything,” Leliana assured her, and Nienna felt a soft touch to her chin and let it guide her face up. A soft press of lips and a sigh.

She wanted to cry.

Nienna withdrew a hair and opened her eyes.

“Can you promise me that no matter what happens tomorrow...you won’t change?”

She wanted to ask a great many things, really. Will you promise me to live through tomorrow? Will you promise that you’ll still believe in your Maker who means so much to you? Will you promise to still love me even if you find out I didn’t have to die?

A quick response. “I can’t promise you that.”

Leliana’s hands on her trembled ever so slightly. An even quieter response, “I don’t know what I’ll become if I lose you. You saw something in me, Nienna.”

In that moment, Nienna’s heart broke for the decision she had already made and the people who would have to live with it.

The bard bit is actually super interesting because she does to the Warden (I want to say both Wardens but could be m!Warden exclusive but still) she talks about "becoming the woman a target wants to see", so conforming herself to that for her work. She even has some banters about she pretty much blended in by being friendly to do said work as well with Alistair.

And it's kind of nuts you can't address any of this, not even in a follow up conversation, romance or no! The writing assumes that Leliana is being genuine, but of course you can go crazy bonkers in fanon. Like my personal fanon is she doesn't realize she's doing it, because she has no idea how not to do it, or even how to be in a normal relationship. Boundaries, communication, honesty, none of this has been something she's had before. (And also in my fanon she's the Marjolaine, not my Warden. She doesn't mean it and is horrified when she realizes it yayyyyy!! <3)

And tbh, the "chooses the Chantry over the Warden" is pretty much canon? I don't think it's too much of a generous read to go that far bc you have:

In Awakening, the letter she sends directly says she had to break the promise to see the Keep with you to meet with the Grand Cleric (I've always assumed a Justinia stand-in until she was more established), and to note originally the Keep was suppose to be a normal mission to see about the Darkspawn not retreating. The epilogue does state they "reunite a year after the Blight's end" so sometime after Awakening as that's six months after Origins.

The other DLC have no romance content outside Morrigan in Witch Hunt, but I think it's fair to say no Warden would want their non-Warden LI running around the Deep Roads. Golems is sometime after Awakening canonly, and Witch Hunt is 2~ years after Origins, or maybe 1~? Sources seem confused BUT point is it's the last adventure for the Warden that we know of.

9:34, about 3~ years after Origins/The Blight Divine Justinia is elected and Leliana says she was called upon to be her Left Hand.

What The Warden is doing is up to the player bc we don't have any canon information after Witch Hunt, but Leliana is running around all over Thedas as she's been in Kirkwall a number of times, Orlais, etc. I doubt they'd of had much time to be together. :')

BUT this is sounding pretty okay, sad duty is keeping them apart, but it's not like Leliana could follow the Warden into the Deep Roads or doing Warden related work, as mentioned. AND you have Leliana saying she's going to reunite with the Warden "for good this time".

BUT BUT this is not only AFTER Justinia is dead (rather than Leliana actively choosing between them), that Leliana just kinda throws that out the window and goes "I could be the POPE. No...I will be the Pope."

Yes yes she instills the Divine can marry whoever she wants but is this not a genuinely tragic ending? Not only did Leliana make this huge decision without talking to her partner, it puts them both in the Game for pretty much the rest of their lives (something she wanted to escape from). Constantly having to wonder who will betray you next or who will sell you out or wondering if this day will be the day someone tries to kill either of you (and might succeed). Not to mention the incredibly unfair position a non-human/mage Warden is placed in. Like look what happened with Celene and Briala, they were treated as a mockery. And the biggest tragedy of all is Leliana still doesn't put the Warden first, she chose the Chantry, even with Justinia gone.

In a non-Divine ending, enlightened!Leliana still is putting duty first and has a line something like "I know we'll be together again, some day..." while steeled!Leliana is the only one to actually say she might take time to be "selfish" and "focus on her relationship", as if that's selfish for wanting to be with your possibly living on borrowed time partner.

Leliana's fingertips linger so softly on top of Onion's. Onion shuts her eyes, feels the stutter of breath before she hears it come out of her. Darkspawn may scare her, rightfully so, but Leliana's gentle touches, the pads of her smooth fingers against Onion's rough knuckles, make her tremble down to her core.

The second Leliana's other hand comes up to brush against Onion's collarbone, Onion feels as though her composure will collapse and all she'll be able to do will be to melt into the thin bottom of her tent, seep into the cloth and stain it with the deep red affection she has for Leliana.

Onion catches the slight, droplet-like pop of Leliana's lips parting. Leliana sighs; the brevity of her breath against Onion's own lips is enough to make Onion dizzy. Onion falters, twitches forward just enough so that their nose tips graze together.

Leliana's hand, once the weight of the world on Onion's hand, floats away, as does the hand on Onion's chest. Their legs and laps are so in the space of the other that Onion can feel Leliana rest her hands there, instead.

“Would you like to hear a story?” Leliana asks with the composure of someone who only just mustered it.

Onion fights back a noise of disappointment. What was she waiting for, anyway? She follows Leliana's example and folds her hands in her lap. Their faces remain where they are.

“Okay,” Onion says, sounds distant from herself, “what kind of story?”

”A love story,” Leliana replies; Onion can hear the sly smile in her tone.

Onion puts pressure on the points where their knees meet. “A love story?”

“Mmhm.”