nourish

I’m nearly all moved into my new flat with my boyfriend and it’s lovely, really lovely, but it doesn’t have curtains yet so I wake up when the sun rises and this morning I decided to walk down to the sea alone which is just at the end of our road like 2 mins down, at 7:30am with fresh coffee, and it’s windy and a bit rainy and my nose is running but it’s so peaceful. and I spent a long time last night crying because I was out with my boyfriends mates when they all started snorting gross stuff and I came straight home cause it makes me sad and anxious to be around, and I’m so happy I can come out here this morning and breathe the fresh air and last night doesn’t seem so huge and horrible

all my friends have left Brighton permanently n all I do is work and sleep and hang out with my boyfriend and then as soon as he wants to hang out with his mates and there’s the option for me to go I proceed to have a big old wobble because I feel really uneasy around them and I think they all think I’m exceptionally boring and so I just stubbornly stay home and cry for a few hours and then go to bed and then apologise the next morning to my boyfriend and pretend it didn’t happen. it’s an unhealthy cycle that I need to break because not having a social life outside of my boyfriend is very incredibly bad for me. it’s 10pm I’m sitting at the beach alone whilst he’s with all his mates

dunno what luck I have on the first double days off I've had in forever, getting a migraine worse than anything I've ever before experienced, staying in bed in the dark not being able to eat for 30+ hours, and then the next day when the migraine has mainly cleared, having a lower back so sore from lying in bed all day and night I'm actually weeping from the pain....what's up with THAT