Growing Slowly🥀

💚 🖤 back at my doodling again

Life’s cruel play

Just out here doodling some of my favorite cartoons ✍️

But neither is missing out.

Chocolate chip banana pancakes with homemade strawberry syrup and coffee on the side ☕️🥞

If you have any of these cat memes please post them below. Thx 🙏

🌫 D.R.A.M.A.T.I.C. 🌫

I love fall decorating.🍂

I’ve been having this dream of this girl with long blonde curly hair. She has a round innocent face with long dark eyelashes. She’s wearing black lace underwear and a white button up blouse that almost looks too big for her figure. She’s got a thin stream of blood trickling out of her right nostril and broken glass is falling all around her catching little traces of light and shining like glitter. It’s like something out of a music video. But as the dream goes on, all the glass reverses back as if someone is hitting rewind. And as all the little shards are falling back into place the stream of blood is slowly running back up into her nose. At the end she’s sitting there on her knees in shock, wide eyed, with a tear falling down her cheek.

I don’t know about everyone else but I think 2018 was a shit year. I don’t usually make New Years resolutions either but this year I did. A strange one. It’s even kind of mean but I don’t give a shit. This year is gonna be about me. This year I’m going to be the most selfish bitch you will ever meet. Why? Because I have lived my entire life bending over backwards and sacrificing my own happiness to please everyone else. I’ve put EVERYONE else first. I’ve let their opinions run me down into the ground and I’m done. 100% done. Now don’t get me wrong I won’t be mean to anyone. Humbleness is key. But as far as anyone who expects me to change anything about myself to please them? Fuck you. I will cut you out of my life and ghost you faster than you can even blink. I don’t care who you are. Toxic is toxic and I think I deserve to be happy. This is going to be my year. And to everyone else out there who isn’t happy in life? MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. Be selfish. Do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to make your life the way you want it to be. If you have read through my profile, I know you’ve seen the dark side of me. I won’t delete it either because I view every writing as my artwork. But just know that isn’t going to be me anymore. Happy 2019 Everyone! 😘

I have this dream that I’m alone in the dark. I’m walking. Looking for something but not finding anything. I turn around and see a little white light behind me. I begin to run towards it. It gets brighter and brighter and then I realize it’s a phone screen. Scared and curious I look to see what is on the screen. It’s a Facebook page. My Facebook page. But instead of a normal profile the word ‘remembering’ is above my name with little purple flowers beside it. I shake my head in confusion and scroll down. Horrifying pictures of my bloody lifeless and mangled body litter the screen. A familiar white car is mangled under a semi upside down. It appears to be an accident until another photo reveals a pill bottle and a gun in my hand. And to my shock, among all the gory mess of my body I can make out a small bullet wound in my temple.

-MGK

If there’s anyone out there I need something. A last resort. Everything is dull and dark. My heart is heavy and I feel empty inside. I’ve tried reaching out. The more I try the more annoyed people are getting with me. Ive lost everything. My confidence, my spark, my ambition, my hope. All just fading further and further away. I feel so selfish. I’m 20 and I own a house, I drive a newer car, I have a well paying job. Everyone thinks I’m doing so good for my age but the feeling is opposite. I feel lost. I feel hopeless. I feel stuck. Every step forward feels like 2 steps back. I find myself thinking about dying constantly. I tell myself dying young would be a blessing. Because then I’ll die as the girl who had so much potential instead of the pos who never made it. I wanna stay but my reasons are running out. Staying alive feels like one of the hardest things to do every day. And every day has been getting worse. I just need a sign. I need something to help. I recently went to church. It made me feel so bad. It made me wonder if there was any hope for my dying soul. At this point I don’t know anymore.

I’ve spent the past year of my life trying to rebuild myself. Before, I had been struggling with depression, loss and just the memories of a past that absolutely destroyed me. But this year I wanted to start over. I wanted to rebuild myself into a better, happier and more humble person. It’s not the easiest thing in the world. Not by any means. But in order to build yourself you must first tackle all the toxic things in life that destroy you. Cut out toxic people, block out negativity and bad vibes, and the hardest one of all, forgiving. Forgiveness is a difficult concept because in order to build yourself, you must not only forgive the people who ask for forgiveness, but also those who don’t. Sure, it’s easy when someone comes up and says they’re sorry. You usually forgive them and then you move on. But I’m talking about forgiving the people who are oblivious to how bad they actually hurt you. In order to grow you must forgive people such as that ex who cheated on you, or some friend who betrayed you, or even that one person who used you and then left. In order to grow you must dig deep inside your soul and forgive them. And trust me, it hurts. It’s a very difficult thing you must accomplish. But in order to do so you must humble yourself and push that hatred out of your heart. Hate destroys, not builds. Once you do that you have truly forgiven and your mind can be a more humble and peaceful place. It’s a process. It takes time just like physical growth does. But once you have forgiven all those who have hurt you, you must then learn to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for those mistakes you’ve made, things you couldn’t have changed, those people you let hurt you and break you down and to your own mind for being so hard on yourself. Tell yourself you are worth it. Tell yourself that you can do great things. Tell yourself you are a beautiful being just overflowing with potential. Be a light, not a curtain. Shine bright and down ever stop for anyone or anything.💎

I feel this on so many levels