seasons dont fear the reaper

House MD was crazy for having their mc be an autistic bisexual depressed disabled drug addict who canonically self harms and experienced abuse AND was in a doomed codependent toxic yaoiship with his repressed homosexual bestie

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

genuinely I cannot fathom trying to use Tumblr like any other social media. I just thought to myself “why does Tumblr even have a ‘Best Posts First’ feature? why would I want to see good posts?” and then I had to stop and consider that for a second

every time i experience a california-to-midwest culture shock i’ve been following it up with “…and where i come from, we call fries potato jeremys”

we walked into the victoria’s secret and indy looked and me and went “you know that mattjay fic”

yall need to respect the idea of npd matt more

[guy who doesnt watch shows voice] yeah ive been meaning to watch that show

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

one cool thing about having an autistic dad whose special interest is underwater spearfishing is that when he catches fish he'll just call up a nearby chinese restaurant like "hi. i caught a fish. can you cook it and i'll bring my family by?" and they're like "yeah sure come on over white boy" and the fish is delicious.

it's worth adding that my mom is chinese and she always gets embarrassed by this. like she doesn't want to come to the restaurant with us. she doesn't want to be seen with the white man she caught plus the fish that her white man caught. everyone who works at the restaurant thinks my dad is awesome and compliments him + her for choosing him and we all find this very fun except for her.